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Honkey factory employees sending condolences, Hyundai builds your mom, and Kim Kardashian's $325k car that hauls ass: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/2 - 10/8
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-10-11 5:04:17 PM (9 comments) | Permalink

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5014 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2011 at 5:11 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Nothing new this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-10-02 to Sat 2011-10-08:  Experts say repetitive public safety announcements might do more harm than good. So don't start up with your white zone shiat again  There was a toddler forced to swallow a spider. That wriggled and jiggled and tickled insider her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly, but the parents get jail time  Rescue search using boat and helicopter carried out after Jupiter mistaken for distress flare. Authorities excuse error, say they did not planet that way  Police follow DUI suspect from strip club by trail of leaking fluids. Ewww  Doctors at Romero General Hospital think that cancer probably killed Steve Jobs, sorry to all of you that had "Rabid wolves" in the pool  1 in 10 babies conceived on Ikea beds? I thought they were famous for missing screws  Fire at cracker factory kills seven people. Honkey factory employees send their condolences  Two workers injured in explosion at pasta plant. Paramedics say they knew the two victims weren't done because they didn't stick to the wall  Mall yogurt stand worker heads to court after tainting frozen yogurt with semen. Hope they don't let that jerk off  New UN skyscraper will cost 5x original estimates, with engineers tracing the overruns to problems designing a containment vessel for the sheer volume and density of bullshiat  Woman in 80's saved from apartment fire. Why we're just hearing about this now, I don't know

Sports:  For the first time in 15 years, Tiger Woods not among golf's top 50 players. Golf players, at any rate  Browns' center Alex Mack reportedly played Sunday despite appendicitis, ability to liquefy  Infamous 'Bill Buckner' ball up for auction; don't let this deal pass you by

Geek:  Electric plane wins $1.35 million prize, should cover the cost of the power cord  Steve Jobs' authorized biography release moved up to October 24. SPOILER ALERT: He dies  Research shows oral sex may be leading cause of mouth/throat cancer. SOMEONE NEEDS THEIR FUNDING PULLED

Entertainment:  Fox to develop a new Mister Ed movie, beat a dead horse  Kim Kardashian spends $325,000 on rare Ferrari that really hauls ass  Vivid Entertainment owner Steve Hirsch has offered Amanda Knox a non-sex job as the companies spokesperson saying that he is confident that she will kill it

Politics:  Two more top Bachmann aides seen doing backstroke away from USS Crazyeyes  Rick Santorum claims December primaries distract from "birth of our savior". Subby wonders what he is talking about - Obama was born in August  White House announces new cyber security measures that will prevent "insiders" from stealing classified information and leak it to third parties. Just in time, too, because there's this new group called WikiLeaks who...oh, wait

Business:  Kodak shares plummet as bankruptcy develops. Unlike other, more modern companies, it will be a few days before we can see the whole picture  BofA CEO defends bank's 'right to make a profit'. HD audio enhancement later discovers the quote included the mumbled word "obscene"  CNN says the new Hyundai is a "sweet ride" with a "boring body." Which reminds me, say hi to your mom
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9 Comments     (+0 »)
2011-10-11 05:13:55 PM  
On Headline of the Year stuff, we're currently through May. I'll need to pick it up a bit the next month or so, but we're on track to kick things off around December 1 for the mainpage voting threads.
2011-10-11 05:25:09 PM  
That Honkey Factory headline is complete win
2011-10-11 05:46:50 PM  
I can't believe I missed that Alex Mack headline. Brilliant!

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2011-10-11 06:59:44 PM  
I liked the Kardashian hauling ass one.
2011-10-11 07:42:32 PM  

8 inches: I liked the Kardashian hauling ass one.

The last comment in the Kardashian thread pretty much sums it up I think.

/would love to have that biatches' car though.
2011-10-11 08:15:28 PM  
If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?
2011-10-11 08:35:27 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?

are you my alt?
2011-10-11 09:01:29 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?

Short answer? No. Long answer? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
2011-10-11 09:02:27 PM  

ultrachronic: That Honkey Factory headline is complete win

I now dream of working at the honkey factory.
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