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Dog removed from crevasse after the oil hits the canis, waiting for Jesus to come, and a car accident on Needmore Road: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/18 - 9/24
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-09-28 6:25:58 PM (8 comments) | Permalink

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2600 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2011 at 6:38 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Hi everybody, not much new for this week, so lets get right to it.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-09-18 to Sat 2011-09-24:  The great American road trip has changed quite a bit in the last few decades. Old people are still 100 points, though  Cup Noodles museum is now set to open. Will have hot water added, then be closed for five minutes  HTC announces phone aimed at women. It's purple, has a light-up "charm" indicator for calls, and an unusually strong vibrate mode  Baby born on overseas flight. Nationality still up in the air  Fire crews finally free dog trapped in rock crevass after dousing him with vegetable oil and using a lasso. "It was easy once the oil hit the canis"  Sata elected Zambia's president, having beaten out incumbent IDE and archrival SCSI  Man dies after one car swerves into the path of another on Needmore Road. They certainly did  Underendowed Germans increasingly turning to penis enlargement operations. You know who else wanted to be the world's biggest dick?  Same-sex couples in civil partnerships are less likely to divorce than straight married couples. Probably due to state laws defining divorce as between one man and one woman  Coroner rules Irish man died of spontaneous human combustion. O'Really?  You now have the option of going to jail or church; either way you're going to be on your knees praying for Jesus to come already

Sports:  The New York Yankees win the AL East. It's okay, Red Sox Nation, your guys won the preseason expert panel 45-0  Former NFL lineman Orlando Brown dead at age 40. Excuse me, there's something in my eye  Health inspectors find numerous violations at Wrigley Field. Players are safe since they avoid anything that gives them the runs

Geek:  Someday in the near future, microwaves may turn orange peels into biodegradable plastic, according to a scientist who just discovered marijuana  Innovative start-up company employs an entirely autistic workforce. Wait, didn't Bill Gates already do this?  New study says one third of all digital photos taken in the world end up on Facebook. Other two thirds are of people who are sober, have their clothes still on

Entertainment:  Heidi Montag celebrates being 25. In other news, her chin celebrates being 3, her nose celebrates being 5, her stomach celebrates being 2, her breasts celebrate being 1, 3, 5 and 6  People Magazine fingers Rosie O'Donnell's new girlfriend  Premiere of the new "Charlie's Angels," draws 8.7 million viewers. Collective IQ in the United States drops 7 full points

Politics:  Obama slams Palin, but not quite as hard as Glen Rice did  Federal judge orders Carl Lewis' name off NJ senate ballots, saying he does not meet the 4-year residency requirement, the 10-year double-dipping requirement, or the 20-year bribe-taking requirement  Obama hails the building of the Intercontinental Railroad. Without it, the other 7 states would've remained isolated from the first 50 states

Business:  IKEA creates MÄNLAND, a men's-only play area featuring Xboxes, pinball games, football, free hot dogs and televised sporting events for husbands while their wives shop. I'm assuming it's BYØB  German vintner upset after thieves steal entire grape harvest. Police tell him to quit wining  Intuit reiterates fiscal outlook, have 50 words for snow
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8 Comments     (+0 »)
2011-09-28 06:59:31 PM  
I just want to say that I have really appreciated all the wacky stories (and their associated headlines) this week.

Nice job everyone!
2011-09-28 07:30:28 PM  
That Jesus one is spectacular.
2011-09-28 07:37:56 PM  
The Jesus one is headline of the year material
2011-09-28 09:30:18 PM  
Glad to see the Jesus headline finally getting some love. The initial thread was just a flamewar.
2011-09-28 09:50:01 PM  
I went to Needmore school...dont believe me?? Look it up..its in Bedford Indiana.
2011-09-28 11:01:12 PM  
'Oil hitting the canis' is outstanding. Well done.
2011-09-29 08:01:44 AM  
I loved the Cup Noodle Museum headline. But the Jesus one is also astounding.

For the sports headlines, I love the last one about the players at Wrigley Field.
2011-09-29 02:05:02 PM  
Hey! I'm up for headline of the hour or something. Weeeeeee!!1!

Love the headlines. Excellent jerbs everyone!!1!
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