Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Piss-poor balance, Jessica Simpson's shunning muumuu, and nobody expects the Spanish inhibition: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/29 - 6/4
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-07 2:54:22 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

6402 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2011 at 3:15 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-29 to Sat 2011-06-04:  Model and friend party in Atlanta hotel until they have a major falling out  Restaurant owner dead after his Model A crashes. Officials cited the lack of seat belts, crumple zones, airbags, traction control, and anti-lock brakes as contributing factors  Barcelona has such a problem keeping people clothed, they're actually levying fines against their citizens who insist on doing everything naked. Nobody expects the Spanish Inhibition  Video captures "UFO squadron" over Oakland. The group was disorganized and apparently harmless, leading UFO researchers to believe that Al Davis was in charge of it  Archaeologists find sealed tunnel underneath Teotihuacan temple, and like complete idiots decide to open it and release whatever unspeakable horror resides within  Man falls down embankment while urinating -- a clear case of piss-poor balance  Parents sue school when their precious snowflake is barred from graduation ceremony for printing porn from school computer. They should be proud he actually learned a useful life skill in school  Breast-feeding protest attendance sags, lacks support, and is mostly a bust  3-10 people shot in Yuma  Ohio considers boosting alcohol limit of beer to 18 percent, thereby helping citizens cope with reality of living in Ohio  Little Leaguer killed when pitch hits chest. Boy's parents, boy, heartbroken

Sports:  Tressel divests himself from Ohio State  Congrats to Tony Romo for getting married. That's the only way you were ever going to get a ring  Shaq hints that he may join ESPN SportsCenter. If that doesn't work, he could always be a bricklayer

Geek:  Sturgeon death highlights the stressful demands of modern fishicians  Astronomers release hot pics of Milky Way's twin. How you doin', NGC 6744?  Mastodon finds have Colorado ready to rock. *WICKED GUITAR SOLO*

Showbiz:  Nick Lachey and fiancee throw wedding shower. Jessica Simpson dons her shunning muumuu  "How Pawn Stars Launched a Hot New Genre and May Earn Academy Respect." This article is interesting and would look great on my web browser, but I'm going to need an expert to take a look at it  Hayden Panettiere washes her hands of dirty Sanchez rumors

Politics:  President of Abkhazia dies. Death Eaters inconsolable  Chris Christie, champion of cutting wasteful spending, arrives at his son's baseball game in a police helicopter. No word on how said helicopter managed to stay airborne  Former Senator John Edwards indicted for using campaign money to poll the electorate

Business:  Zillow aims to be the first one-letter symbol on the NASDAQ. Really? That's so interestiZzzzzzzz  Toyota recalls 106,000 Prius cars over a loose nut. Hasn't Al Gore suffered enough?  Asian stocks get plowed, require blurring out of the naughty parts
· · ·

4 Comments     (+0 »)
2011-06-07 03:24:57 PM  
Congrats you funny Farkers!
2011-06-07 04:24:54 PM  
The Romo one had me lol'ing.
2011-06-07 07:27:38 PM  
I'm stuck between the Asian stock and the Zillow headline among this week's selection.

/The heartbroken headline in the sports tab the other day was pretty good
2011-06-08 10:01:16 AM  
Kind of a disappointing batch, the ancient temple one is the only one that elicited a laugh
Displayed 4 of 4 comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.