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Shinmoedake Bukkake, Lieberman touring with Sabbath, and the Natalee Holloway conversion scale: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/30 - 2/5
Posted by Drew at 2011-02-08 1:13:50 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

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2734 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2011 at 2:00 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, but well done on the headlines this week, submitters.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-01-30 to Sat 2011-02-05:

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  "Geezer Bandit" hits L.A. again. He was almost caught when he spent five minutes arguing with the teller over $0.35 in change    
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  Whales return to waters around New York City, immediately lose a fin on three card monty    
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  Japan's Shinmoedake volcano status upgraded from "Nervous Laugh with Hand Covering Mouth" to "Bukkake"    
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  Over 200 Tunisians killed in uprising. That's like 18.5 white people, or 1 Natalee Holloway    
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  Eager to show the West they're on our side, Mubarak supporters punch CNN's Anderson Cooper repeatedly    
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  Toddler's finger severed in freak escalator accident. Mother says they will take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again    
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  Supporters of medical marijuana ban find opposition much higher than expected    
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  Holocaust historian not happy that Glenn Beck keeps comparing political opponents to Nazis, Anne Frankly she's not going to take it anymore    
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  Most of the Cairo protesters are upbeat, though a few wind up the other way around    
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  Homosexuality compared to second-hand smoking. Further study needed, perhaps a "Smoking Poll"    
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  Teen arrested by police investigating drug deals on Facebook. Stupid kids, don't they realise you're meant to sell drugs in quiet, deserted places? Like MySpace?    
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Sports:

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  Surprising conviction in case of man accused of selling fake Maple Leafs tickets after prosecutors were able to show that something of value was lost    
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  Rick DiPietro out 4-6 weeks due to broken jaw, swollen knee, commitment to play the villain in Unbreakable 2    
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  Baltimore Orioles cap busy offseason by signing Derrek Lee, Justin Duchscherer and Vlad Guerrero. In other news, the Birds have clinched a berth in the 2003 playoffs    
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Geek:

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  Scientists reveal that of the great apes, orangutans are the most genetically distant from humans, closest to Paul Giamatti    
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  Google: Bing has been copying Google's search results. Bing: Bing has been copying Google's search results    
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  Scientists succeed in making a paper clip invisible, hope to eventually be able to trade up to making a house in Saskatchewan vanish    
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Showbiz:

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  TNT extends 'The Closer' final season, plots spin-off, resolves to finally tell Kyra Sedgwick she looks like a duck    
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  Sole recipient of the "Ron Howard's Affirmative Action for Guys Related to Me" program complains about how hard it is being conservative in Hollywood    
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  A guide to Glee for straight guys. If you clicked the link, you failed the test and are probably gay    
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Politics:

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  Mubarak: "I would like to leave office today but I cannot... If I resign today there will be chaos." So enjoy your peace, rainbows and unicorns while you can, Egypt    
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  Sen. Joseph Lieberman writing book about Sabbath.... subby didn't know he'd even toured with them    
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  Sarah Palin says she could do a great job solving the Egyptian crisis with her vast knowledge of stepping down from power during a crisis in confidence    
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Music:

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  19 artists who reinvented themselves after their early work. Subby's been a fan of Genesis ever since Duke; before that, he really didn't understand any of their work    
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  Rolling Stones say they've not made firm plans for the 2011 Steel Wheelchairs tour    
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  Ke$ha loves running around naked in the woods. Probably so she can get closer to the wolves who raised her    
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Business:

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  Allstate apologizes for ranking road safety on basis of Zodiac signs, says it was typical of Geminis to blow something like this out of proportion    
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  NA, this CLearly can't be right: Salt is the new gold after a major snowstorm    
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  Research shows unemployed suffer more often and longer from physical ailments and mental complaints -- without even having to work at it    
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· · ·

12 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-02-08 02:10:50 PM  
When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?
 
2011-02-08 02:14:58 PM  
Buck
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Cake
 
2011-02-08 02:18:28 PM  

Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?


Mods get a shilling for every link click?
 
2011-02-08 02:20:56 PM  

Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?


wot
 
2011-02-08 02:28:35 PM  

Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?


Uppity Yanks, getting all up in our fish n' chips
/I have no idea how to sound British
 
2011-02-08 02:36:38 PM  

Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?


What, are you drink?!
 
2011-02-08 02:50:55 PM  
Lawsuit update?

Yes? No?

Next week?
 
2011-02-08 03:50:57 PM  

Barakku: Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?

Uppity Yanks, getting all up in our fish n' chips
/I have no idea how to sound British


'ello! 'ello! 'ello! Wot's all this then?
 
2011-02-08 04:34:00 PM  

abmoraz: Barakku: Shazam999: When did Fark get taken over by the Daily Mail?

Uppity Yanks, getting all up in our fish n' chips
/I have no idea how to sound British

'ello! 'ello! 'ello! Wot's all this then?


Bugger off you wanker.
 
2011-02-08 05:19:13 PM  
Lawsuits go very slow.
 
2011-02-08 05:19:16 PM  
Bukkake / Lieberman 2012
 
2011-02-08 07:43:00 PM  

Rev.K: Lawsuit update?

Yes? No?

Next week?


Not sure when we'll hear real news on that. Drew's expecting a long fight.
 
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