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Drew is currently unavailable for comment from the Bering Sea, but here are some of Fark's favorite headlines from 1/2 - 1/8
Posted by Drew at 2011-01-11 12:57:57 PM (24 comments) | Permalink
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2967 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2011 at 1:08 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week; his last update was from the Satellite Office on the F/V Time Bandit and he was in full caps-lock mode in Dutch Harbor less than 12 hours ago. So I'm just gonna presume that Drew's last terrifying brush with sobriety was a while ago.

While we wait for that story to emerge, here are a few of Fark's favorite headlines from last week. Carrion.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-01-02 to Sat 2011-01-08:  Car hits pig, knocking out a headlight. Pig is said to be re..reco..recov..recover... He's fine  Cambodian wedding held for two snakes. Ceremony almost cancelled when one wanted his diamondback  Saudi Arabian officials have reportedly arrested a vulture suspected of being a Mossad spy. Nothing to see here, carrion  Nude burglar claims he was tripping on acid, thought he was God. Police are Leary  Long Island food bank to hand out Snuggies to the homeless in exchange for dignity  England and Scotland brace themselves for four inches, as their womenfolk have been doing for years  Valet's life saved when bullet strikes the cell phone in his shirt pocket. Valet downplayed the situation, as the impact was still less painful than dealing with AT&T  Man keeps dead dad in closet for five years. Family considers pressing suit  Friends say Omaha school gunman was fun, outgoing, aimed high  British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"  A Maine woman arrested for stabbing her husband in the back did it because, "I can't stand him and he drives me nuts." Bangor Daily? I bet he wishes he didn't

Sports:  Three Chicago Bears go to a local grocery store to bag groceries for lucky fans. Jay Cutler didn't go since he already gets sacked enough  Seattle stuns New Orleans, are now one win away from .500  Rex Ryan has a new favorite right foot

Geek:  New study says elderly adults with tooth loss more likely to get dementia, Alzheimer's, jobs at WalMart  New dual telescope view of Andromeda galaxy shows birth and death of stars. Not sure if Sirius  Hidden literary references discovered in the Mona Lisa. Nobody says ANYTHING about this to Dan Brown, do you understand?

Showbiz:  Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone is out to get me." I think we can rule casting directors out of this statement, Lindsay  Bono and The Edge to start attending all performances of Spider-Man musical, because it's not officially a disaster area until Bono goes there  History Channel decides not to air 'The Kennedys' miniseries, saying "It's not a fit for the History brand. But stay tunned for another episode of Ice Road Truckers"

Politics:  White House press secretary is stepping down. Will now earn money not answering questions in the private sector  Roseanne Barr and Ted Nugent spar on Anderson Cooper's show. This is like watching a couple of mentally handicapped kids fight each other in the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese  Ted Haggard to star in new reality special, which will probably be something like "Breaking Bad" meets "Boy Meets Boy"

Music:  Toni Braxton might unwear her dress for Playboy  Illness forced to respect Aretha Franklin  If you've ever thought "man, I'd give my right arm to drum in a Def Leppard tribute band", opportunity is knocking (with one hand)

Business:  Next generation of Intel chips will refuse to copy movies, open pod bay doors  Lawsuit against Netflix and Walmart accuses the two companies of conspiring to run Blockbuster out of business. Pfft. As if Blockbuster can't do that by themselves  FHM creates sexy "stealth" ad that can only be seen from a low angle. So instead of asking you why you're watching smut at work, your boss will ask you why you're crouching behind your desk with a boner
· · ·

24 Comments     (+0 »)
2011-01-11 01:09:39 PM  
Has he been able to see Russia from there yet?
2011-01-11 01:17:51 PM  
I posted this with a funnier headline.
2011-01-11 01:18:30 PM  
I heard he was in the Ukraine banging fat unibrow women.
2011-01-11 01:22:26 PM  
He's a cowboy, on a steel horse he rides.
2011-01-11 01:22:45 PM  
i56.tinypic.comView Full Size

Cold... and hard.

2011-01-11 01:27:48 PM  
Drew went to Alaska in January?

Can't say much for his brains but I admire his nerve.

Stay warm dude, and drink lotsa anti-freeze.
2011-01-11 01:30:02 PM  
Oh god, I have gotten so farking drunk in Dutch Harbor. I feel for Drew, cuz if he gets shiatfaced then gets on a fishing boat into the Bering at this time of year, suicide will have seemed like a better option.
2011-01-11 01:32:24 PM  
Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?
2011-01-11 01:32:53 PM  
Caps lock mode, biatching about media coverage again?
2011-01-11 01:45:28 PM  
The frat boy boat? What a shock....
2011-01-11 01:53:48 PM  

GaryPDX: Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?

No, he is broing it up with Tucker Max
2011-01-11 01:58:43 PM  
Wait, what? Who let him on one of those boats? And a shiatty one at that.
2011-01-11 02:17:41 PM  
If he's driving the ship, then I hope Drew gets his Bering Straits.
2011-01-11 02:18:43 PM  
Shut up and fish.
2011-01-11 02:28:04 PM  
I'm sure these guys are actively seeking choppy waters just for the lulz:

img209.imageshack.usView Full Size
2011-01-11 03:37:18 PM  
Sooo... maybe we'll see drew as a rider on the Time Bandit on the next season of Deadliest Catch? Or did that show jump the shark by now?
2011-01-11 04:07:06 PM  
Why are the headlines now in the URL for comments?
2011-01-11 04:43:28 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2011-01-11 04:44:21 PM  
Cpl.D: Fox News affiliate, getting his next set of monthly instructions.

oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder.
2011-01-11 05:03:12 PM  
Pressing suit wins the week imho. Well done that subby.
2011-01-11 06:32:52 PM  

Teknowaffle: GaryPDX: Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?

No, he is broing it up with Tucker Max

I'd have to throw tucker or myself overboard...
2011-01-11 08:15:13 PM  
How the hell did the Dead Eagles from sports section not make this?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-01-11 09:03:18 PM  
Cutoff is Saturday. Dead Eagles went green Sunday.
2011-01-12 01:36:05 PM  

TrancePI: How the hell did the Dead Eagles from sports section not make this?

Also, it's a context headline. It's already been flagged to be in a separate contest. The headline itself can't stand on its own; you need to see the link to get the joke. The link is what makes the joke funny.
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