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Drew is currently unavailable for comment from the Bering Sea, but here are some of Fark's favorite headlines from 1/2 - 1/8
Posted by Drew at 2011-01-11 12:57:57 PM (24 comments) | Permalink
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2967 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2011 at 1:08 PM (8 years ago) | | share: more»
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No posting from Drew this week; his last update was from the Fark.com Satellite Office on the F/V Time Bandit and he was in full caps-lock mode in Dutch Harbor less than 12 hours ago. So I'm just gonna presume that Drew's last terrifying brush with sobriety was a while ago.
While we wait for that story to emerge, here are a few of Fark's favorite headlines from last week. Carrion.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-01-02 to Sat 2011-01-08:
Car hits pig, knocking out a headlight. Pig is said to be re..reco..recov..recover... He's fine
Cambodian wedding held for two snakes. Ceremony almost cancelled when one wanted his diamondback
Saudi Arabian officials have reportedly arrested a vulture suspected of being a Mossad spy. Nothing to see here, carrion
Nude burglar claims he was tripping on acid, thought he was God. Police are Leary
Long Island food bank to hand out Snuggies to the homeless in exchange for dignity
England and Scotland brace themselves for four inches, as their womenfolk have been doing for years
Valet's life saved when bullet strikes the cell phone in his shirt pocket. Valet downplayed the situation, as the impact was still less painful than dealing with AT&T
Man keeps dead dad in closet for five years. Family considers pressing suit
Friends say Omaha school gunman was fun, outgoing, aimed high
British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"
A Maine woman arrested for stabbing her husband in the back did it because, "I can't stand him and he drives me nuts." Bangor Daily? I bet he wishes he didn't
Three Chicago Bears go to a local grocery store to bag groceries for lucky fans. Jay Cutler didn't go since he already gets sacked enough
Seattle stuns New Orleans, are now one win away from .500
Rex Ryan has a new favorite right foot
New study says elderly adults with tooth loss more likely to get dementia, Alzheimer's, jobs at WalMart
New dual telescope view of Andromeda galaxy shows birth and death of stars. Not sure if Sirius
Hidden literary references discovered in the Mona Lisa. Nobody says ANYTHING about this to Dan Brown, do you understand?
Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone is out to get me." I think we can rule casting directors out of this statement, Lindsay
Bono and The Edge to start attending all performances of Spider-Man musical, because it's not officially a disaster area until Bono goes there
History Channel decides not to air 'The Kennedys' miniseries, saying "It's not a fit for the History brand. But stay tunned for another episode of Ice Road Truckers"
White House press secretary is stepping down. Will now earn money not answering questions in the private sector
Roseanne Barr and Ted Nugent spar on Anderson Cooper's show. This is like watching a couple of mentally handicapped kids fight each other in the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese
Ted Haggard to star in new reality special, which will probably be something like "Breaking Bad" meets "Boy Meets Boy"
Toni Braxton might unwear her dress for Playboy
Illness forced to respect Aretha Franklin
If you've ever thought "man, I'd give my right arm to drum in a Def Leppard tribute band", opportunity is knocking (with one hand)
Next generation of Intel chips will refuse to copy movies, open pod bay doors
Lawsuit against Netflix and Walmart accuses the two companies of conspiring to run Blockbuster out of business. Pfft. As if Blockbuster can't do that by themselves
FHM creates sexy "stealth" ad that can only be seen from a low angle. So instead of asking you why you're watching smut at work, your boss will ask you why you're crouching behind your desk with a boner
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