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Helicopter parent crashes, jailbreaking DNA, and the fit has hit the Shan: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 8/29 - 9/4
Posted by Drew at 2010-09-07 4:06:09 PM (14 comments) | Permalink
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4489 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2010 at 4:08 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-08-29 to Sat 2010-09-04:

   Woman dies in helicopter parent crash

   But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is rape, and I am the sun

   Wife of trapped miner finds another hole he was stuck in

   Chinese officials are forcing families with the last name "Shan" to change it, because it requires a character that can't be typed in standard word-processing programs. In fact, you might say, the fit has hit the Shan

   Tapped Chilean miner sends wedding proposal to his sweetheart. Article is useless without picks

   Magistrate decrees logodaedaelian hoosegow cageling may retain his thesaurus. You presented this typescript with a more frumptuous epigraph

   Sheen from yesterday's oil rig explosion downgraded to Estevez

   Truck smashes into apartment building. I guess it's a flat now

   How Christians spoil sex: An alternative view from a missionary's position

   Thousands protest French crackdown on Gypsies. In other news, French President Nicolas Sarkozy is beginning to look ...thinner

   Amana-ccused of throwing air conditioner at police after Rheeming his frigid heir. Tag is for subby


   Favre last night: 0 TDs, 2 INTs. Love him or hate him, it's impressive he can miss all of training camp and be right in playoff form

   Seven-year-old boy attends nearly 500 Orioles games, enjoying dozens of wins

   Jacksonville State, led by a true freshman QB, comes back from 21 to win at Ole Miss. Apparently, Masoli couldn't steal the game


   Geneticists jailbreak apple DNA

   Breast, ovary removal cuts cancer risk. In other exciting news, leg amputation reduces risk of ACL injuries

   Bacteria controlled by magnets build a tiny pyramid, start sacrificing protozoa to Ra


   Christina Hendricks' dress once again wins best role in supporting an actress

   Jennifer Grey worried about competing on "Dancing with the Stars," being put in a corner

   Robert Pattinson was almost crushed to death by an elephant last week. Shockingly, it doesn't involve his Twilight fanbase


   U.S. disappointed at Israel's leading ultra-Orthodox party, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, for saying all Palestinians should perish. U.S. asks that Israel check Yosef before he wrecks himsef

   Jesse Jackson shows up at rally for green jobs in an Escalade, is dismayed to discover that auto theft is carbon neutral

   Obama says his economic policies halted "bleeding," all but assuring adviser Tim Geithner will win the Nobel Tampon for economics


   I don't know what's worse, the fact that someone suckered in hundreds of people with bogus Take That tickets, or that hundreds of people want to see Take That desperately enough

   Seen another darned liszt of things that depress you? No need for haydn, you can handel it. Just bach it all off with the Mozart Effect

   Coming soon to a store near you: The Rolling Stones Monopoly. Go directly to jail, do not pass Altamont, do not collect $200


   Toyota recalls the Matrix. Whoa. Déjà vu

   Drake University's new "D+" logo shows you may not want to base an advertising campaign on the polling of high school students

   Kia recalls 56,000 Souls. Let the Reaping begin
· · ·

14 Comments     (+0 »)
2010-09-07 04:14:15 PM  
Has Drew been hanging with Zombie Castro?
/I kid!
2010-09-07 04:14:25 PM  
I feel bad for that woman who died in the dorm room. Her daughter has cerebral palsy and needs help. She was just doing what she had been doing for years.

Very sad.

2010-09-07 04:15:05 PM  
2010-09-07 04:21:08 PM  
No update regarding the partnership?
2010-09-07 04:22:18 PM  
I made HOTW? Neat.
2010-09-07 04:28:36 PM  
OMFG. The Kia recall headline is amazing. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time.
2010-09-07 04:32:45 PM  

AnthraxRipple: I made HOTW? Neat.

Feels good huh. Congrats.
2010-09-07 04:34:49 PM  

AnthraxRipple: I made HOTW? Neat.

2010-09-07 04:45:25 PM  
U.S. asks that Israel check Yosef before he wrecks himsef

OK, that's farkin' funny
2010-09-07 04:59:36 PM  
I must admit the Sheen/Estevez headline had me giggling.
2010-09-07 05:10:47 PM  
Damn. Two in one week.
This unemployment thing is really paying off!

Not mine, but A++ on the Kia.
2010-09-07 05:14:15 PM  
netweavr: No update regarding the partnership?

You seriously expect one?
2010-09-07 05:52:45 PM  
Holy crap I made the list. All those years of forcing the mods to redlight my horrible puns has been totally worth it.
2010-09-07 09:10:40 PM  
Wait! no retweet? that was funny.
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