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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-07-11 to Sat 2010-07-17
Posted by Drew at 2010-07-20 6:49:11 AM (3 comments) | Permalink
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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-07-11 to Sat 2010-07-17:

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  Bristol-Myers Squibb announces recall of anti-clotting drug Coumadin. The first signs were during a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital, where the patient was receiving Taipei blood    
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  Ireland is rioting. Could be religious. Could be nationalist. Could be Tuesday    
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  Dong found guilty of beating man    
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  Vaseline launches new Facebook app that lightens skin. Users surprised when their credit scores rise, they're no longer pulled over without reason, and their income rises 28%    
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  Texas cop run over by his own squad car expected to recover. Car charged with attempted murder, resisting arrest, fleeing the scene, and driving without a license    
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  Horny creature savages young man's groin. But enough about your Mom, this is a story about a British tourist being gored by a bull    
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  Apple holding an iPhone 4 press conference on Friday. Here's hoping that they hold it correctly    
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  The Vatican says ordaining women is as bad as raping children. So it's okay, then?    
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  Olive oil sold as "extra virgin" often is merely "virgin." Well, yeah, if you want get anal about it    
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  Elderly couple dies while stuck in a descending elevator; the scene will be tragically reenacted during their funeral    
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  Vader sought in connection with disappearance of elderly couple, Alderaan    
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Sports:

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  NHRA driver died on Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY    
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  Stern fines Cavs $50,000 for comments about LeBron and another $50,000 for using Comic Sans    
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  Landon Donovan's shot in English gal disallowed    
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Geek:

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  Apple Store opens in Shanghai, across the street from the Epple Store, just down the road from the RedFruitComputers Shop and next to the WindowSoft Emporium    
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  Earth is much younger than previously thought - it just looks older because it spends so much time in the sun    
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  Houston museum attempting to coax corpse flower with rotting bananas. Don't they know that leading a horticuture is a fruitless endeavor?    
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Showbiz:

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  RFK Jr is getting a divorce from his wife. Phew, talk about dodging a bullet    
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  Critically acclaimed series The Hills finally ends. Applauded for its innovative use of cinema verite techniques, the show will be remembered for the way it commanded the youth of America into a new age of enlightenment    
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  Katy Perry in bikini and now that all the straight men have already clicked the link, we can communicate freely; the revolution starts tonight. Leave no survivors. Triumph will finally be ours over the straight males    
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Politics:

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  Fidel Castro emerged from his den and smiled, guaranteeing six more years of communism    
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  Federal judge sentences great grandson of Alexander Graham Bell to life in prison without possibility of parole, refuses to reverse the charges    
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  WV Governor taps former aide, sister-cousins    
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Music:

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  Once proudly feminist and independent, the Lilith Fair festival has been sullied by the corporate interests of Big Tampon™    
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  Creed announced that lead singer Scott Stapp's wife gave birth to a son. Finally, it's the first thing Creed ever produced that didn't sound like second-rate Pearl Jam    
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  Model on cover of Vampire Weekend's "Contra" sues band, presumably after listening to the album    
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Business:

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  For $5800, GM will let you come to their factory and help them build your own Corvette engine. Bringing a few mechanics from Ford is optional but recommended    
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  Tiny violin sales skyrocket after BP exec says coffee spill parody video hurts BP employees' feelings    
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  First impression of the new paywall around the Times and Sunday Times news sites: "Wow, where did everyone go?"    
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· · ·

3 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2010-07-21 02:39:32 AM  
How come no Candygram for Mongo ? (new window)
 
2010-07-21 10:19:34 AM  

ItsNotButter: How come no Candygram for Mongo ? (new window)


This! I peed myself laughing at that, then made sure I have a booking for the afterlife at the Hellton Garden Inn.
 
2010-07-21 10:01:04 PM  
I now have had four headlines of the week in the past three weeks. Boo-yeah!
 
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