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Fark NotNewsletter: Please don't shoot at the hurricane
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-09-28 1:23:19 PM (33 comments) | Permalink

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1152 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2022 at 8:21 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.  

Bit of a busy day with hurricanes and Russians blowing up gas pipelines.  (Russians are blowing up gas pipelines, hurricanes are not. Not yet, anyway.)  Hope all you Florida Farkers either got the hell out or are hunkered down somewhere safe.  I will say the number of livestreams of Florida people swimming in the storm surge is pretty wild.  Florida gonna Florida I guess.  And the Waffle Houses closed, so things must be really dire.  Stay safe out there.

This week at 4 p.m. Eastern Thursday the Fark News Livestream returns!  Everyone's back: me, Christine, Dill, and Lucky.  Thanks to a late surge in weird news out of both Florida and Russia, we are loaded for bear.  Gay cannibals, early Halloween candy freakouts, and re-dubbed Russian TV commentators are just some of the weird things we'll discuss.  Come join us!

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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
bluorangefyre was prepared to be a team player
west.la.lawyer replied to a tweet claiming that women read more books over their lifetimes than men do
North_Central_Positronics considered what it was like to be on a flight where everyone was given free ukuleles and a lesson
Al Roker's Forecast was concerned about the plane full of people playing ukuleles
Louisiana_Sitar_Club knew exactly what a photo of a kid spraying a woman with a fire extinguisher needed
SumoJeb helpfully fixed a sign that originally seemed racist at first glance
derpes_simplex stayed positive after watching a video of a ceiling collapsing onto a badminton court
Winterlight had a question about guest rooms
Lady J weighed in on how pathetic it is to argue who has the longer trouser snake
shopball pointed out another transformation that took place when a gymnasium ceiling fell down

Smart:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat brought up the real question about a mom who looks so young she got carded while trying to buy a hamster
inglixthemad discussed tactics some companies are using to try to fill unpopular positions
steklo shared one way in which scammers are targeting job seekers
ArkPanda pointed out that a stupid cop might not meet the standards for another line of work
mute_ants explained what millennials use their guest rooms for
Jeebus Saves had an idea for making a ton of money with your own Chuck E. Cheese franchise
Lady J had an interesting observation about a video of a gymnasium ceiling collapsing
jayphat listed some of the lies that are popular with companies that are trying to hire people
WickerNipple shared a story about how companies don't want to fairly compensate employees anymore
keldaria looked at the act of judging poor people for having fancy phones

CSB Sunday Morning themeTales of gardening and growing things
SmartMan_Without_A_Hat learned the many advantages of gardening
FunnyMaturin wouldn't give up on bonsai trees

Politics Funny:
NateAsbestos summed up the Trump legal team's reply to the special master's inquiry about actions Trump took to declassify materials
I_Am_Weasel proposed a different name for an anti-trans hate group
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That agreed that Trump is being targeted for unfair reasons
Lambskincoat revealed the magic words
Badmoodman showed us the actual process for declassifying documents

Politics Smart:
NotCodger pointed out there's more than one reason for "Dilbert" readers to think the comic is "taking sides politically"
scottydoesntknow shared information about appeals court judges who ruled in favor of the DOJ against Trump
Etchy333 considered how Scott Adams could have built the "Dilbert" brand
OldRod took a guess at why fellow passengers were cheering within a minute of Eric Trump boarding a plane
scottydoesntknow was pretty happy with how Rep. Jamie Raskin was tearing down lies and conspiracy theories


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
artifishy brought some kids to a bar
Wrongo wanted to find out if the circle gets the square
RedZoneTuba created a very special interest magazine
artifishy warned us about a hidden danger in this peaceful park
whatsupchuck brawled in the library
samsquatch encountered some Martian rovers
zeon gave us good grief
RedZoneTuba became TwilightZoneTuba
RedZoneTuba brawled in the courtyard
RedZoneTuba reunited these BFFs and their glowing orb
Yammering_Splat_Vector yanked the football again

Farktography themeU2
common sense is an oxymoron captured this fish's final moments


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

You have my McNuggets. And my fries. AND MY AXE

Peacock-poaching predators purloin peeping pets, posters proclaim. Police perplexed, pilfered poultry probably pissed

Semi full of pumpkins overturns blocking on-ramp to highway. ERMAGOURD

Police have released the video from their Snidely Whiplash performance art piece

Mets hiatters set MLB record for getting hit by a pitch one day after the Reds pitchers set record for most batters hiat

Apple to take over sponsorship of the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Look for U2 to play that entire album no one asked for

Reacher rounds out season 2 cast. Phrasing goes and cries in a corner

Project Veritas gets court confirmation that they're anti-veritas

European gas prices drop as nations ramp up their efforts to ensure there will beano supply crisis this winter

Introducing the cat-fronted NYC heavy metal band Cattera. Sounds like they already have a vulgar display of meower

Big-ass pen not enough to save big aspen

Microsoft commits to breaking Windows once per year, and also all the time


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where we learned that everyone loves red pandas except for the scientists in charge of classifying them. On the Quiz itself, Glockenspiel Hero came out on top with an admirable 1034, followed by mybluemake in second with 1000 and Grebuloner in third with 969. VooDoo_Blonde made fourth with 938. and Data takes the number five spot with 928.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which automaker decided to yank back many employee bonuses due to a falling share price. Only 37% of quiztakers caught the article about Honda execs deciding that the few hundred bucks each in overpayment meant their own bonuses might be short a few hundred thousand, and so delegated the task of bringing the bad news to the managers who weren't affected. God bless capitalism.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Oktoberfest, a word that seems like it could use some umlauts but the Germans for some reason thought it didn't rate any. 77% of quiztakers had their lederhosen ready for a trip to Munich, the city where the annual beer festival has been held since 1810 when the soon-to-be King Louis I married Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen with the world's biggest open bar and presumably an all-night DJ spinning the top hits and new remixes of classic 1780s tunes.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which band that we all watched on MTV in the 90s announced their farewell tour. Only 55% of quiztakers recognized what the names Layzie, Krayzie, Wish, Flesh, and Bizzy had in common - once you add their last name of "Bone". So if you want to hear them performing "1st of tha Month". "Tha Crossroads",. or "Foe tha Love of $" live, grab your tickets for the Bone Thugs-N-Harmony farewell tour now. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Sam Beckett and how he never arrived home. 89% of quiztakers recognized the title card from the series finale of "Quantum Leap", a show now getting a reboot and you know it's only a matter of time before the new lead runs into Sam somewhere on the timeline. I'm actually optimistic about what they can do with newer technology when it comes to footage filmed for older episodes. 

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
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33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-09-28 1:36:06 PM  
Any Farkers affected by the hurricane, you can check in here or in any of the hurricane threads. Let us know if you need help - Farkers are often able to help each other out through hurricanes and other emergencies.
 
2022-09-28 1:41:05 PM  
CrankyAndi just had the power cut out, still posting from Farcebork.
 
2022-09-28 1:42:31 PM  
DeSantis is having the hurricane bused to Cape Cod.
 
2022-09-28 1:48:47 PM  
And don't bang on the piano.
 
2022-09-28 1:50:09 PM  
Don't worry, it's handled.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 1:51:07 PM  
NUKE THE HURRICANE!
 
2022-09-28 1:53:52 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 1:53:55 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 1:55:43 PM  
My cousin has a son named Ian and I texted him saying Ian was taking a Florida vacation and it made him laugh.
 
2022-09-28 2:03:43 PM  
West Coast Hurricane Watch: none. At least from what I can see at LAX.
 
2022-09-28 2:07:27 PM  
Dark Brandon quick stop the Hurricane by Nuking Florida it's the only way to save us from God's wrath.
 
2022-09-28 2:21:06 PM  

Decorus: Dark Brandon quick stop the Hurricane by Nuking Florida it's the only way to save us from God's wrath.


No, Dark Brandon sent the hurricane to cleanse Florida.
 
2022-09-28 2:35:13 PM  
c8p9p3e5.rocketcdn.meView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 3:46:54 PM  
 
2022-09-28 3:48:22 PM  

kdawg7736: My cousin has a son named Ian and I texted him saying Ian was taking a Florida vacation and it made him laugh.


I have a son named Ian who is in boot camp, in the path of the storm (it'll be just a tropical depression by then).  I'm sure his DI and the rest of the recruits are giving him shiat right now.
 
2022-09-28 4:05:24 PM  

xanadian: kdawg7736: My cousin has a son named Ian and I texted him saying Ian was taking a Florida vacation and it made him laugh.

I have a son named Ian who is in boot camp, in the path of the storm (it'll be just a tropical depression by then).  I'm sure his DI and the rest of the recruits are giving him shiat right now.


((((((HUGS))))))
 
2022-09-28 4:52:51 PM  
I'm sorry, but South Park taught me that your shoot something after yelling "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!" and Ian is definitely coming right for us!
 
2022-09-28 4:53:18 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Any Farkers affected by the hurricane, you can check in here or in any of the hurricane threads. Let us know if you need help - Farkers are often able to help each other out through hurricanes and other emergencies.


Usually with cocktail recipes...
 
2022-09-28 5:02:55 PM  

guestguy: DisseminationMonkey: Any Farkers affected by the hurricane, you can check in here or in any of the hurricane threads. Let us know if you need help - Farkers are often able to help each other out through hurricanes and other emergencies.

Usually with cocktail recipes...


Speaking of which, any farkers down there making a Hurricane?
 
2022-09-28 5:29:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 5:43:32 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [Fark user image 300x185] [View Full Size image _x_]


I just feel sorry for her. :(
 
2022-09-28 5:43:59 PM  

Unsung_Hero: Decorus: Dark Brandon quick stop the Hurricane by Nuking Florida it's the only way to save us from God's wrath.

No, Dark Brandon sent the hurricane to cleanse Florida.


Well, he should know how Obama's Weather Machine works.
 
2022-09-28 5:46:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size



Better? I don't want to make the monkey sad.
 
2022-09-28 5:51:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-09-28 6:09:14 PM  
Meh, it's just Florida.
 
2022-09-28 8:22:22 PM  
 
2022-09-28 8:44:19 PM  

oldernell: NUKE THE HURRICANE!


Welp they claim raising taxes will prevent global warming.

Different circus, same clowns.
 
2022-09-28 10:08:02 PM  
No no no, Florida people, you don't shoot a hurricane. You've got to get in close and stab it with a knife or a sword, or a bat'leth.
 
2022-09-28 11:54:28 PM  

maxwellton: No no no, Florida people, you don't shoot a hurricane. You've got to get in close and stab it with a knife or a sword, or a bat'leth.


Fark user imageView Full Size


(I didn't make this, saw it on the internets)
 
2022-09-29 1:59:03 AM  
To TPTB: Can I swear on my profile?
 
2022-09-29 4:15:17 AM  

Non Sequitur Man: To TPTB: Can I swear on my profile?


It doesn't look like that's possible now without it getting filtered. If you'd like to see the SwearJar feature added to profiles, you can suggest it to Farkback.
 
2022-09-29 8:12:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

BULLETS COME BACK
 
2022-09-29 1:30:26 PM  

GatorBreath: [Fark user image 425x428]
BULLETS COME BACK


I mean, REALLY!!  Who shoots a hurricane?!
 
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