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Fark NotNewsletter: Maybe the real cure was the pee we drank along the way Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-01-19 1:56:01 PM (30 comments) | Permalink More: FarkBlog
________________________ A message from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well. Thanks so much to everyone who subscribed to TotalFark last week - it helps so much, you have no idea. I get a daily report on signups and it's so incredibly relieving to see daily signups compared to terrible daily Q1 ad revenues. Keep it up folks, signing up between now and April has the most impact on Fark of anything the rest of the year. Last week we completed voting on 2021 December Headline of the Month, and man am I glad we did it this way. Normally I have to shave down the number of candidates myself, but since I didn't have to do that for December, we were able to do things like have 50 different candidates for Main. Well done to everyone who submitted a candidate - I'm in awe of your talent. Go check out the Headline of the Month winners for December 2021. At 4 p.m. Thursday it's the Fark News Live Stream with me, Christine, Dill and Lucky Yates! So far this week's theme has been weird crime and strange science, come join to find out more about alcoholic AIs, dead ants and Froot Loops, and three-eyed cows among other things. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: jedzz wished Bob Saget had lasted at least a little bit longer Somaticasual knew how to get something out of a box that your cats have claimed ownership of Ker_Thwap wondered why there was no warning for the contents of a video of tsunami waters from Tonga reaching Oregon Prank Call of Cthulhu explained that cops are not exaggerating about the dangers of fentanyl cman wasn't taking any of puffy999's crap Cake Hunter found an additional use for face masks bingethinker knew what a woman wanted for her COVID-19 patient husband in addition to ivermectin and staying on a ventilator skinink explained why a nurse came home and shoveled the driveway after working a long shift fragMasterFlash wanted to test a theory about the amount of COVID-19 detected in Boston's wastewater Hey Nurse! described a bad experience with fentanyl Smart: A Room Full of Angry Raccoons noted something sad and unexpected about one of Bob Saget's movies Tanqueray explained why it seems like people at theme parks and other places are much worse behaved since COVID IgG4 had a question for cops who believe they can suffer a fatal overdose if fentanyl looks at them from across the room aimtastic told us about difficulty trying to get tested for COVID-19 Russ1642 doubted the story of a woman who shot her 4-year-old kid twice jso2897 had good advice for people who just don't want to get vaccinated EnzoTheCoder offered up frugal fashion advice kbronsito saw that people suing hospitals for refusing to give ineffective medications to COVID patients might be onto something Raoul Eaton shared what it's like to take a drug that scares cops silly CSB Sunday Morning: Snow days Smart & Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village shared the legend of The Stargazer Politics Funny: Ivo Shandor had an idea of how a Prius driver was able to get the jump on a road-raging BMW driver who was shooting at him RodneyToady summed up the staffing problem faced by a medical group in Indiana Naido thought that a certain behavior of the man who took hostages at a Texas synagogue sounded familiar Maladjusted Malcontent defended a man who was killed when he shot at another driver during a road rage altercation little big man hoped the man who died road raging suffered one last insult added to his injury Politics Smart: hubiestubert addressed an American Thinker writer's complaints about having to see non-white people in commercials Aussie_As discussed public health attitudes in retrograde Nah'mean named the most important item for Texans to keep in their winter storm kits Demetrius had a heartbreaking reminder that it's not time to let your guard down omg bbq talked about deciding whether or not to shoot at someone Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week Photoshops: RedZoneTuba showed this poor man what the future has in store for him kabloink found out this girl will be first in line kabloink was not enjoying that Disney magic Stephen_Falken discovered the secret power-up in Space Invaders Snubnose shared a special message from Charlton Heston RedZoneTuba caught a distracted dog walker in the act MathProf showed us what Jon Snow knows Wrongo found a familiar face in Antarctica RedZoneTuba brought a favorite dancer along kabloink was honest about missing this Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that Grumpy Cat has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine kabloink finally put out this year's calendar Captions: From Caption this confrontation: Grumpy Cat had an unwanted visitor Grumpy Cat could write for a bird version of "The Flintstones" From Caption what this pondering primate is thinking: RedZoneTuba heard a legitimate concern Heamer was looking for love From Caption these Tower of London residents: RedZoneTuba came in with a pun D_PaulAngel revealed who's to blame for a terrible look Fartist Friday: How a well-placed rubber ducky could have changed history RedZoneTuba showed us a ducking disaster This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Our theme is Show & Tell Vol. 15. SHOW us your favorite artwork you've created and TELL us the story behind its inspiration, materials, backstory, etc. Share with us your photos, paintings, jewelry, poetry - any art medium! Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contests before. Be sure to tell us about your art! Farktography: Majestic Monochrome-In Memoriam: CiliarySpasm beerrun drained the color from Upper Antelope Canyon Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines from last week Man was removed after being stuck in chimney of a house he doesn't live in. Authorities say this is pretty common during the flue season Getting shot by a Prius driver is like a hunter getting plugged by a deer ICUs nearing capacity in at least 18 states as SCOTUS decides no one needs an umbrella when Freedumb Rains Woman attacked by bear while walking her dog in DeBary. See, that's why I walk my dog in DeNoBary Beans beans, the magical fruit - the more you eat the more you toot Cam Newton wants to play next year AND be on a winning team. Does not realize they are mutually exclusive goals Ronnie Spector now a spectre "He treated everybody like family" is not something you want to read if you've just watched Bob Saget tell the Aristocrats joke Dave i left my heart pills at your place lemme know when i can come get them k? Thxbai Die Hard Liz Cheney doesn't rule out issuing subpoena to Qevin McCarthy and inviting him to go hunting with her dad ONAN getting smote by DirecTV for spilling lies I think that means Mike Pence is pregnant French bakers feeling the pain. Also fondling the baguettes, cuddling the brioche Delta set up for a massive rebound as Omicron fades Empty bottles of whiskey are fetching hundreds of dollars on eBay because counterfeiters buy them for scams. Drew and his staff are going to be rich Archaeologists have unearthed a 4,000-year-old board game from the Bronze Age. Apparently it was Helios, with the dagger, in the roundhouse Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, somewhat tempered by my inability to come up with a theme and reliance on silly gifs. But that was no deterrent to two of our valiant quiztakers who made their way into the 1000 club with their appreciable knowledge of the subjects that were covered in the past week here on Fark. Drachirryz, with your score of 1014, and TheMothership with your score of 1008, come on down and be recognized and then immediately placed into isolation due to COVID-19 protocols. fuzzyracing1967, your score of 957 leaves you out of the 1000 club, but you do get to hang out with johnny_vegas and his score of 943 and our fifth place finisher, runwiz with a respectable 930. The hardest question for most on the Hard Quiz last week was about America's latest middle finger to the EU in a recent court decision about cheese. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that a US District court had ruled against the cheesemakers from Gruyère and decided that Americans can call their cheese-like substances "Gruyere" simply on the basis of how they cure their milk solids. No word yet on "sparkling aged cheese curd". The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was actually not about the first Black woman to appear on US coinage (only 68% knew it was Maya Angelou?) but somehow about which country most of the world's uranium comes from. 86% of quiztakers knew that uranium make benefit great nation of Kazakhstan. Pardon me while I process the fact that the guy who played Borat has now been nominated for three Oscars. And I agree that he deserved them. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which former pro wrestler was now working towards certification in professional clowning. Only 42% of quiztakers caught the story about Dewey getting certified in all kinds of things after his stint as WCW Heavyweight Champion. Yes, he is a certified Bob Ross instructor, but more importantly to the question, he's really into your nightmares and is working towards his clown certification from Healthy Humor. His Instagram feed (yeah, I don't follow it either) is full of him (and sometimes his kids) in a red nose. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about former teen idol Dwayne Hickman and how he achieved his teen idol status back in the 1960s. 90% of quiztakers knew that he had starred in "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis", and I'm still a bit unsure about this total since the series wasn't exactly a critical success.I'm guessing many Farkers saw their mom's autographed photo of him in the attic or that special place on the dresser or something. I'm not judging, but yeah, your mom thought about that guy on that really bad TV show back in the day. Gen X mom's nod approvingly along with John Stamos. If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you should really catch up on it. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week. · · ·
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