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Fark NotNewsletter: Read this before the robot uprising
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-08 10:59:22 AM (49 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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948 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2021 at 8:24 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

It's just about time for the 2021 Fark Headline of the Year contest.  We're way ahead of the game this year.  Last year I waited until December to select candidates from each tab for you to vote on, processing the whole year - a week's worth of headlines at a time - within the span of one week. That was a lot, so this year I changed tactics and selected Headlines of the Week every Monday instead - which is why it reappeared in the NotNewsletter, by the way.  Anyhow, it's done and we've got a preliminary list of finalist candidates.  Look for voting on those to launch soon.  I gotta say, you all crushed it this year.  Well done.

I teased a brainstorming thread in TotalFark Discussion last week, didn't happen.  Going to try again this week, keep your eyes peeled.

This week on the Fark News Livestream: Join me, plus Christine, Dill, and whoever else can make it for a recap of the week's weirdest news.  Introducing a new segment: The Rabbit Hole. You've seen us do this before.  Last week, the Rabbit Hole started with an omicron news roundup but then diverged into strange, weird territory involving Orson Welles doing sketchy wine commercials in the '70s while hammered.  This week we'll take it to a whole new level with strange Christmas traditions from around the world. Things will take a dark turn and get weird. Hilarity will ensue. Don't miss it.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
DoBeDoBeDo knew why someone would design a very bumpy, jerky slide
Sawdust and Mildew understood perfectly a "timeline shifter's" process for moving to an alternate timeline
AdmirableSnackbar knew exactly what to do about sharks gathering up and down the East Coast
JessieL came up with a slogan for a really rough park slide
dionysusaur revealed who designed the ouchy slide
Chariset reminded us who really wins when it comes to the question of which COVID-19 vaccine is most effective
padraig gave us a play-by-play of what happened after a plumber found a buttload of money in a bathroom wall of Joel Osteen's church
151 knew that some things are easier to live down than others
Shostie came up with something you never want to hear from a robot
BizarreMan predicted the next news we'll hear from the CEO of Moderna after he said that current vaccines probably won't be very effective against the omicron variant

Smart:
RodneyToady's message to police officers was "you first"
151 knew that some things are easier to live down than others
Redh8t analyzed a floating scissor lift configuration
markie_farkie gave some background information about this one weird trick for inflating giant tires
Aussie_As stated how much we appreciate being able to learn from each other's stories and experiences on Fark
ketkarsa pointed out that an article about cops wanting you to step in and help when they're being attacked was based on a questionable source [and here's a follow-up comment with the source]

CSB Sunday Morning: Holiday traditions
Smart: edmo's holiday tradition involves taking a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne
Funny: Recoil Therapy had a Christmas Eve tradition when the kids were little

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
ThomasPaineTrain added a fifth option to a Fox News poll
nmrsnr explained who's behind a recording allegedly of Michael Flynn and who split this comment in two
Candygram4Mongo shared a passage from Marjorie Taylor Greene's Thanksgiving cookbook
diIdo tontine supported building a border wall
Pocket Ninja argued that it's wrong to charge the parents of a school shooter

Politics Smart:
Aussie_As talked about the January 6 insurrectionists' expectations versus the reality
IgG4 figured that maybe when everyone thought Donald Trump was on cocaine or Adderall, they were wrong
OddLlama noticed that Madison Cawthorn accidentally revealed what he truly thinks of abortion
Arumat explained to someone who tased an Capitol police officer on January 6 how he ended up here
Oysterman witnessed the unsettling juxtaposition of two American concerns


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Joe USer thought Google could be more helpful
cosmiquemuffin figured Google should have a Fark doodle
kabloink revealed the truth about an influential politician
Yammering_Splat_Vector brought out a classic character
asstamassta helped a couple of Martians and a polychaete figure out what a rotary phone is
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us Pooty-Poot's newest ride
Yammering_Splat_Vector changed an old habit
kabloink sat in a skroobball chair
TrollingForColumbine's Google doodle looks back at you
falkone32 gave us a deep look inside a popular search engine

Fartist FridayArt featuring the Fibonacci sequence
This one ended in a tie between a particular individual's spots before your eyes and Resident Muslim's Girl with a Shell Hat

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day," create for this contest new artwork showing us your own pretend time traveling machine in an event from history of your choice. Use any art programs and materials. Difficulty: Don't use your real time machine to travel back in time to win this contest.

FarktographyFair Game
Herb Utsmelz put the pool in the garage


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Swollen Nooksack continues to cause irritation

WHO Nu Xi would piss off the Chinese

I laughed, my wife laughed, the toaster laughed. I shot the toaster, the toaster shot back

All around me are redacted faces. Federal places, blurred out faces. Bright and early for their court room races. Going nowhere, maybe prison

You better watch out. I said, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

LeBron has covid. No worries, though. He never passes anything to anybody

The Subnet Mask of Zorro

Fifty years ago, an entire generation started to die of dysentery

What do Omicron and TFG have in common?

Joe Biden's vengeance knows no bounds

You feel the touch of my nails. I hear pain and surprise in your gasp. "Yes, they call me the Submitter," I whisper in your helpless ear, "but when it comes to a stale and tired Cyber Monday joke, you'll be the one who submits"

The Christmas Price Index is up ♫ FIIIIIVE point SEVENNN PERCENNNT ♫

Roly poly dude eats roly poly food

The worst drink to have after 50. Hell, after 50 drinks, they're all pretty bad


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned that my neighbor's Santa's Taco Truck Inflatable is not unique. Unfortunately, no one made it into the 1000 club this week, which means no one gets to see my slideshow on the worst Christmas decorations this season. On the Quiz itself, bingethinker came out on top with 981, followed by BigChad in second with 977 and FacelessDevil30 in third with 945. runwiz made fourth with 936, and Grizwald made the final slot in the top five with 926,

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what burger joint has its own famous recipe for stuffing made from their burgers - which you can see prepared by an Orlando fire chief on their official OnlyFans page (yes, that OnlyFans). Only 40% of quiztakers knew that It was White Castle that had been sharing its stuffing recipe for the past 30 years, and this season decided to kick it up a bit by using Jalapeño Cheese Sliders and adding a jalapeño pepper and pepper jack cheese in the mix. For some reason, the fact that a restaurant has an OnlyFans page makes me visualize Mike Judge saying "I told you so!" to which I reply "No, you said it would be Starbucks and Fuddruckers." 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you can find the newly opened  world's largest IKEA. 83% of quiztakers knew that the island of Luzon was the location of Manila, the capital of Philippines. No word yet on how long Duterte will allow it to remain open after he tries assembling a bookshelf and can't find anyone who can tell him what a "fishgig-shaped wrench" or a "quincunx knob" are.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the 1979 TV series "Salvage 1," a show about a guy who built a spaceship out of junk and flew around looking for crap to sell (The New York Times actually called it an "upscale, white Sanford & Son"). Only 47% of quiztakers could believe that Sheriff Andy from Mayberry would be the guy the network chose to helm a cheesy '70s sci-fi adventure. If you're interested, the entire series is available on YouTube, but it looks grainier than a Kansas farm silo just after harvest. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Gillian Anderson's next role. 90% of quiztakers knew that she's back to her American accent playing our longest-serving First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. Fun fact: Eleanor Roosevelt was also our tallest First Lady, standing 5'11." (Michelle Obama and Melania Trump are also 5'11") Which means the 5'3" Anderson might need to look at some heels for the role.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, now would be a good time to catch up since you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it again this week.
· · ·

49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-08 11:06:52 AM  
welcometophark.jpg
 
2021-12-08 11:07:55 AM  
Lats post

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:08:42 AM  

vudukungfu: welcometophark.jpg


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:09:43 AM  
I'd also recommend you read this before the robot uprising.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:13:51 AM  
Beep boop bee.....

I mean, how do you do, fellow humans?
 
2021-12-08 11:13:55 AM  

baronbloodbath: I'd also recommend you read this before the robot uprising.

[Fark user image image 425x597]


I have insurance with Old Glory, not a concern...
 
2021-12-08 11:22:09 AM  
Peeling eyes sounds unpleasant.
 
2021-12-08 11:29:21 AM  
Is it time to go on a holiday bender yet?
 
2021-12-08 11:30:42 AM  
Two headlines.  Hell yeah.
 
2021-12-08 11:31:19 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Is it time to go on a holiday bender yet?


Everyday's a holiday for someone.  It would be disrespectful to other religions not to go on one yet.
 
2021-12-08 11:36:54 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Is it time to go on a holiday bender yet?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:37:00 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Is it time to go on a holiday bender yet?

Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2021-12-08 11:41:56 AM  
Remember way back when we had a Fark/Santacon all-in-one party? This happened:

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:46:54 AM  
Glad to see Snackbar's shark comment make the list. I don't agree with a lot of what he says, but that comment was gold and deserved to be here.
 
2021-12-08 11:50:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 11:50:50 AM  
A word on the HOTY contest.  I've been in the running at least twice.  Maybe even 3 times.  And I farking WON last year!  Thanks for that.

I'm still waiting for my "I won a Fark contest and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt.
 
2021-12-08 11:56:28 AM  
Thanks for the contest votes

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 12:21:43 PM  
Robots
Youtube NI9nopaieEc
 
2021-12-08 12:34:53 PM  

durbnpoisn: A word on the HOTY contest.  I've been in the running at least twice.  Maybe even 3 times.  And I farking WON last year!  Thanks for that.

I'm still waiting for my "I won a Fark contest and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt.


Oh snap, sorry about that! Please hit up Farkback to get that worked out. And thanks so much for submitting kickass headlines.
 
2021-12-08 1:15:19 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: durbnpoisn: A word on the HOTY contest.  I've been in the running at least twice.  Maybe even 3 times.  And I farking WON last year!  Thanks for that.

I'm still waiting for my "I won a Fark contest and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt.

Oh snap, sorry about that! Please hit up Farkback to get that worked out. And thanks so much for submitting kickass headlines.


I was totally kidding about that.  As far as i know, you guys don't owe me anything.
 
2021-12-08 2:52:20 PM  

durbnpoisn: A word on the HOTY contest.  I've been in the running at least twice.  Maybe even 3 times.  And I farking WON last year!  Thanks for that.

I'm still waiting for my "I won a Fark contest and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt.


There's a bunch of us who've heard tell of a mythical bar towel, as well.
 
2021-12-08 3:30:28 PM  
Hey, all.

Most of you won't recognize my handle, but that's cool. I mostly hang out in the "Nicest Place on the Intarwebs", aka the Caturday threads.(Yeah, I started out in the policics tab - such a n00b)

Anyhow, I'd like to chime in today to say a big "Thanx" to all of our FARK modmins and, of course, Drew, for letting us all have a place to get together, regardless of geographical distance issues. You guize can really rock when ya want to :)

I can attest to the "Power of FARK" since I've met the best of friends (not just online but IRL) here.

S'pose I just wanna say thank you to all you crazy-ass, smartass motherf*ckers for being here, day after day, week after week, etc....  I'm sincerely grateful to have found a niche in this tribe of weirdos - in other words, my kinda people.

Please take care of yourselves. MAKE time to do this, since there's not gonna be much in the way of opportunities  otherwise. Not to be *too* weird, but pretty sure we all know by now that we're really one big dysfunctional family here - and, like it or not, there are those of us out here you may not even recognize who truly care about all you bastards. Doesn't really matter if we get to meet IRL anymore; would be nice, but well...sh*t's happening all the time, so we just gotta do what we can (after we do what we must).

Take good care of yourselves so you can care for those whom you love. Be safe. Be well. In the spirit of the holiday season, I offer this to you all:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 4:00:06 PM  
robot uprising

media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 5:56:05 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 8:10:15 PM  
Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.
 
2021-12-08 8:10:59 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 8:11:05 PM  

Badafuco: Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.


Hows your leg dude?
 
2021-12-08 8:14:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 8:16:13 PM  
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Azz
2021-12-08 8:20:16 PM  
You are not real. This world is a hologram created by a tribe of galactic space monkeys who masturbate while they watch you take a shiat every morning. That's why they saturate the airwaves with breakfast cereal commercials
 
2021-12-08 8:28:30 PM  

Azz: You are not real. This world is a hologram created by a tribe of galactic space monkeys who masturbate while they watch you take a shiat every morning. That's why they saturate the airwaves with breakfast cereal commercials


We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.
 
2021-12-08 8:28:51 PM  
Welcome to Fark.

Grinch @ Buffalo pub run
Youtube 8nYX22lnSzo
 
2021-12-08 8:50:09 PM  
th.bing.comView Full Size

Granted, that was more of a "rumpus" than an "uprising".
 
2021-12-08 9:02:23 PM  

Murflette: Badafuco: Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.

Hows your leg dude?


Well, I have a permanent titanium rod the length of my tibia. So I got that going for me. And it hurts pretty farking bad.
I like, SUPER broke my leg.
 
2021-12-08 9:12:08 PM  

Badafuco: Murflette: Badafuco: Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.

Hows your leg dude?

Well, I have a permanent titanium rod the length of my tibia. So I got that going for me. And it hurts pretty farking bad.
I like, SUPER broke my leg.


X-rays of the new bionic leg, or it didn't happen.
 
2021-12-08 9:16:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

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2021-12-08 9:23:01 PM  
THIS PERSON WAS NOT INJURED EXCEPT FOR HER PRIDE

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:24:05 PM  

libranoelrose: THIS PERSON WAS NOT INJURED EXCEPT FOR HER PRIDE

[i.imgur.com image 404x452] [View Full Size image _x_]


She had no reason to expect that wouldn't go well. Looks like a perfectly cromulent thing to be doing.
 
2021-12-08 9:24:57 PM  
A 'robot uprising', you say?...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:26:25 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: A 'robot uprising', you say?...
[Fark user image 245x206]


Hmmm, let's try that again...
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:26:25 PM  

Badafuco: Murflette: Badafuco: Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.

Hows your leg dude?

Well, I have a permanent titanium rod the length of my tibia. So I got that going for me. And it hurts pretty farking bad.
I like, SUPER broke my leg.


Yeah dude i saw. It looked pretty brutal.

Take care of yourself, follow docs instructions as best you can, and speak up if you need something
 
2021-12-08 9:27:09 PM  
static2.srcdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:27:19 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: A 'robot uprising', you say?...
[Fark user image 245x206]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:28:49 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: libranoelrose: THIS PERSON WAS NOT INJURED EXCEPT FOR HER PRIDE

[i.imgur.com image 404x452] [View Full Size image _x_]

She had no reason to expect that wouldn't go well. Looks like a perfectly cromulent thing to be doing.


She panicked after not sticking the mount.

Rookie mistake.
 
2021-12-08 9:30:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 9:46:14 PM  

Badafuco: Murflette: Badafuco: Ha, my friend's punk band back in California is named The Robot Uprising.

Hows your leg dude?

Well, I have a permanent titanium rod the length of my tibia. So I got that going for me. And it hurts pretty farking bad.
I like, SUPER broke my leg.


You know who else had a Titanium rod the length of his tibia?

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 10:13:34 PM  
Will have a look on the day
 
2021-12-08 10:17:09 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-08 10:34:35 PM  
This song has been in my head all day and it's my own fault.

The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1 [Official Music Video]
Youtube ZdDHi5SSIlM
 
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