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Fark NotNewsletter: Summer's already getting all hotted up
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-23 12:29:39 PM (33 comments) | Permalink
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636 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2021 at 8:24 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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The Fark News Livestream is set for Thursday at 5:30 p.m.  We've got a pretty banner week on deck, and for some reason there are a lot of weird sex stories.  Guess this summer's off to a pretty hot start.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
UberDave noticed unfortunate phrasing by a woman who unwittingly dated a serial killer
Barfmaker figured out why a guy who accidentally shot his friend had applied for a license to carry
Moroning explained why a woman murdered her husband by pouring boiling sugar water on him
Fear the Clam had some idea of what could've influenced a woman to allegedly commit a crime
Bowen shared a personal experience about Singapore's tough enforcement
Winterlight provided proof of a god's existence
brap took the side of women who protested a public sauna that requires women to wear tops
CheetahOlivetti found a way around the World Health Organization's supposed plan to ban women aged 18 to 50 to from drinking alcohol - Note: Articles claiming WHO was planning this ban are, of course, fake news
ThomasPaineTrain did not approve of a crime against pizza

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Ghastly alluded to how 16 cats got trapped in the wall of an abandoned house

Smart:
Snapper Carr built a case for "The Matrix" being the movie with the best opening scene
Merltech pointed out a decision that gave a drug addict the chance to finally turn her life around
Negative! I am a Meat Popsicle! gave an argument for "Watchmen" having the best movie intro
dave0821 explained why boiled water will burn someone even worse if there's sugar added to it
bobug wrote a beautiful obituary for Farker Real Women Drink Akvavit
Robo Beat discussed the varying quality of AmazonBasics products
Psychopusher analyzed the art from a Queen album cover
Fabric_Man extended Robo Beat's point about AmazonBasics

Politics Funny:
This Is Bold Text offered help for LGBTQ people who face discrimination when trying to become foster parents
hubiestubert reacted to the fact that Joe Biden got on one knee to thank Opal Lee, the 94-year-old "Grandmother of Juneteenth"
HighOnCraic was impressed that Marjorie Taylor Greene was able to learn that the Holocaust was worse than a slight inconvenience
Tom Marvolo Bombadil pointed out how evil vaccines are
Martian_Astronomer responded to a theory on why Ted Lieu tweeted at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops about his morals

Politics Smart:
wejash looked at what could happen if U.S. Marshals are allowed to walk off the job with prisoners when they don't get their way
rickythepenguin reacted to Rep. Paul Gosar's claim that a Capitol police officer was "lying in wait" to shoot Ashli Babbitt
joshiz suggested a compromise if Republicans insist on including voter ID in any voting rights bill
weddingsinger considered what it means that homeownership is becoming more unattainable for many Americans
duppy replied to Tucker Carlson's concern that Juneteenth will replace Independence Day


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed CNN rolling the tape
Wrongo held a Warner Bros. casting call
Mojongo's roadrunner was tired of farking around
RedZoneTuba showed us that Marty needed to cut back on smoking
opalakea took a closer look at this sculpture
RedZoneTuba revealed the cast of an upcoming "Brady Bunch" reboot
Wrongo designed some new shades for Elton John
Yammering_Splat_Vector spotted a curvaceous woman wading in the water
clovercat shared a photo of the guy who got kicked out of the Men in Black for wearing navy blue
RedZoneTuba foiled the anti-drone team

Fartist Friday: Ads for vegetables
Mojongo made an ad imploring us to consider our coworkers

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we'll be writing Odes to Spring as the season has come to an end. Create an original 5-7-5 Haiku about Springtime.

Farktography: Shimmer
This contest ended in a tie between CiliarySpasm's glittery ocean and Unobtanium's sparkling sea  


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and I'm about ready to give in to the "subscription model" for my weed trimmer line. The 1000 Club remains empty this week, which means I have time to wait for the new spools to get in and have the place nicely trimmed and edged for next week. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 968, followed by No Catchy Nickname in second with 897 and runwiz in third with 836. Texa$ made fourth with 830, and Agarista came out in fifth with 829.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about Alki beach, where a number of fights caused police to bust up the first real post-pandemic party and send all the TikTokers home. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that Alki beach is one of the most popular beaches in Seattle, Washington, and is the place where settlers first landed to establish the town. This is where the Denny Party met Chief Seattle in 1851, and named their new town in his honor after he and his tribe helped the settlers survive the winter. The beach is named for the Chinook word for "by and by" and not for the large number of drinking establishments in the area.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the Kharg, a naval vessel which caught fore and sank this week. 77% of quiztakers knew that this was the largest combat ship in the navy of Iran. A spokesperson denied rumors the navy is currently asking for inflatable pool toys and water pistols to keep their sailors occupied while a replacement is procured.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the new Kellogg's/Little Debbie mashup. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that they can now get their chocolate snacky cake fix in a bowl with the new Cosmic Brownies Cereal. Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if these breakfast cereal manufacturers are heavily invested in diabetes treatment, and if not, how incompetent their financial department must be at missing this business opportunity.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the reissue of the 1977 album "Animals" being held up by a dispute about liner notes. 88% of quiztakers recognized the album as the work of Pink Floyd, or at least recognized that the Roger Waters/David Gilmour relationship would be something that would easily hold up a huge pile of money over something so relatively petty. The sound engineers have had another 20 years to perfect the technology that made the incredible Dark Side of the Moon re-release, so here's hoping they can come to an agreement soon.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, be sure to catch up on it now that you know some of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
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33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-23 12:38:08 PM  
Ah the joys of summer.
 
2021-06-23 12:42:42 PM  
Timely I guess...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 12:42:49 PM  
"We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave..."
 
2021-06-23 12:54:20 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 12:58:30 PM  
Internet fist bump to CiliarySpasm.
 
2021-06-23 1:27:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 1:54:39 PM  
im2.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 2:01:05 PM  

guestguy: [im2.ezgif.com image 349x348] [View Full Size image _x_]


"Zoooool"
 
2021-06-23 4:11:01 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 4:47:39 PM  
Time to hit the beach
Fark user imageView Full Size

But at Fark, beach hit you.
 
2021-06-23 6:38:03 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 7:58:44 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: [Fark user image 557x400]


Well, yeah. That's kind of the point of the Funny button.
 
2021-06-23 7:59:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 8:07:19 PM  
Yeah, please don't remind me... It's supposed to be around 107 two days in a row here in the Puget Sound region and it's not even July yet...
 
2021-06-23 8:15:27 PM  

Iczer: Yeah, please don't remind me... It's supposed to be around 107 two days in a row here in the Puget Sound region and it's not even July yet...


High 90s to low 100s are predicted for Lane County, Oregon where I live. TGFAC
 
2021-06-23 8:40:30 PM  
I photographed dragonflies farking
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 8:40:47 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 8:49:12 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 8:50:50 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Iczer: Yeah, please don't remind me... It's supposed to be around 107 two days in a row here in the Puget Sound region and it's not even July yet...

High 90s to low 100s are predicted for Lane County, Oregon where I live. TGFAC


Just pulled mine out of the storage unit this afternoon. Cats won't be pleased I won't be letting them out those 3 days, but eh.
 
2021-06-23 8:52:19 PM  

guestguy: [im2.ezgif.com image 349x348] [View Full Size image _x_]



Why is Neil DeGrasse-Tyson hiding in my refrigerator?


/hang on...
//BASTARD DRANK ALL MY MGD!!!
///fark...
 
2021-06-23 8:58:29 PM  

cretinbob: I photographed dragonflies farking
[Fark user image 850x850]



The National Endowment of the Arts called, they wanna give you $10,000 to hang a 3'x5' glossy in the Smithsonian Gallery.
 
2021-06-23 9:01:00 PM  

169th Cousin: [Fark user image 425x288]



DUDE!  Did that fat sign dude just dump a deuce on the sidewalk and walk away?!
 
2021-06-23 9:02:19 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: 169th Cousin: [Fark user image 425x288]


DUDE!  Did that fat sign dude just dump a deuce on the sidewalk and walk away?!


Say that three times, fast.
;-{)
 
2021-06-23 9:31:13 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: 169th Cousin: [Fark user image 425x288]


DUDE!  Did that fat sign dude just dump a deuce on the sidewalk and walk away?!


No...it's a screw holding the sign up.
 
2021-06-23 9:54:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-23 10:14:31 PM  

Iczer: Bathia_Mapes: Iczer: Yeah, please don't remind me... It's supposed to be around 107 two days in a row here in the Puget Sound region and it's not even July yet...

High 90s to low 100s are predicted for Lane County, Oregon where I live. TGFAC

Just pulled mine out of the storage unit this afternoon. Cats won't be pleased I won't be letting them out those 3 days, but eh.


My cat is 100% inside so that's not a concern, plus I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building.
 
2021-06-23 10:29:44 PM  

cretinbob: I photographed dragonflies farking
[Fark user image image 850x850]


Do you know about dragonfly penises? If not it is an interesting / horrifying thing to look up.
 
2021-06-24 12:42:17 AM  
Van Halen - Diver Down - Dancing In The Street
Youtube D5qT2C_Ggpg
 
2021-06-24 7:19:46 AM  
Figures.  I one time I finally get the most votes in a photoshop thread and they don't bother to list it in the newsletter.
 
2021-06-24 7:50:35 AM  

Driedsponge: Figures.  I one time I finally get the most votes in a photoshop thread and they don't bother to list it in the newsletter.


Some days you're the cat, and some days you're the dog.

comeupants.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-24 10:19:31 AM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: cretinbob: I photographed dragonflies farking
[Fark user image 850x850]


The National Endowment of the Arts called, they wanna give you $10,000 to hang a 3'x5' glossy in the Smithsonian Gallery.


That would be nice. I am back in  the game since I'm feeling better and have a subject, nature.
Fark user imageView Full Size


trying to find a place to set up a Patreon or something like that
 
2021-06-24 1:24:03 PM  

Driedsponge: Figures.  I one time I finally get the most votes in a photoshop thread and they don't bother to list it in the newsletter.


Sorry, it goes by most votes overall, not most per contest. Also, if it happened after Saturday, it might go in next week's NotNewsletter.
 
2021-06-24 1:32:18 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: that three times, fast.


That three times, fast.
 
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