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Fark NotNewsletter: What do vaccinated Kentuckians do for Memorial Day weekend?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-05-26 5:04:16 PM (47 comments) | Permalink
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659 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2021 at 5:33 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

I noticed our old friend, the AAA article about traffic will be out of control this Memorial Day weekend, is making the rounds.  It was a welcome sight for maybe the first time ever.  I don't recall what story they went with last year, but it certainly wasn't a record traffic weekend in 2020.  Nature is healing.

I'm warming up for some Memorial Day events, mostly involving traveling around KY back roads.  Some vaccinated friends are coming to visit and we're going to probably just hit one distillery after the other, as one does around here.

The Fark News Livestream is still on for 7 p.m. Thursday - come find out what you missed this week, along with the weirdest compilation of the news cycle you'll find this side of Florida.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
nytmare added to someone's spider tattoo menagerie
beezeltown wasn't worried about things that are expected to be in short supply over the summer
Dead for Tax Reasons knew the real reason an expectant father was so disappointed at his child's gender reveal party
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That was unmoved by complaints about a giant Marilyn Monroe statue
vudukungfu shared some information about how Vermont got 80 percent of their adult population at least partially vaccinated
syrynxx gave a look at what it's like for men who can't work because they're too well endowed
thealgorerhythm predicted an exciting future for a guy who was upset to learn his unborn child is a girl
Redh8t thought that changes have already been made to a Marilyn Monroe statue to help her fit in with Palm Springs locals
ArkAngel was impressed by the inclusion of a fact about California law in an article about a statue
bearded clamorer read between the lines in an article about a bridge that links Arkansas and Tennessee

Smart:
mrshowrules laid out ways police officers tend to escalate things
ShavedOrangutan had plenty of papers
Chariset brought up a contributing factor to a reported shortage of chicken meat
omg bbq explained a captain's role on a ship
Driedsponge had a message about doing bad things simply because you can get away with it
TeddyRooseveltsMustache had some information for employers who can't get their employees to come back to work
BeesNuts wanted people in charge to know something about certain "passive-aggressive' phrases

CSB Sunday Morning: How did you choose your Fark username?
Smart: Remnants of Santa's Fark name was inspired by dog barf
Funny: Tyrosine played favorites with the kids

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
AliceBToklasLives reacted to news that the investigation into the Trump Organization is "no longer purely civil in nature"
grokca envisioned a very strange Republican primary
HighOnCraic wanted to know how the news about Rick Santorum losing his job got out
moos wondered what it meant for the U.S and the Czech Republic being the only nations on Russia's list of "unfriendly countries"
fragMasterFlash was confused about a plane flying a banner reading "tick tock Matt Gaetz"

Politics Smart:
psilocyberguy had some suggestions for decreasing college tuition costs
MattytheMouse pointed out an example of white privilege
wejash argued that the January 6 insurrectionists were not brainwashed
toraque predicted what will happen when power shifts back to the Republicans
shut_it_down addressed Marjorie Taylor Greene's concern about Ashli Babbitt's family getting justice for Babbitt's death


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Kick The Chair made use of a versatile meme
RedZoneTuba gave us the gift of a gilded bust
Kick The Chair added Raspooty-poot to a photo of his besties
Herb Utsmelz would stop at nothing to get better TV reception
samsquatch had a foolproof plan to infiltrate the flock
Yammering_Splat_Vector found the loneliest wolf
Wrongo made the twins from "The Shining" creepier
Wrongo made use of a versatile meme
katod had a special gift to give you
bugdozer kept this coin safe from contamination

Captions:
From
Caption this warning sign:
KC Dutchman could tell that this is actually an illustration for a song
OtherLittleGuy had a warning for Macbeth
From Caption this impending moment of nature:
lindalouwho had one ominous word
Kick The Chair accidentally performed a ritual

Fartist Friday: I Draw a Turtle
nanim showed that it's Tippy at the top

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: For National Creativity Day our theme is Show & Tell vol. 8: F'Artisting Outside The Box. SHOW us an art creation you've made that's outside your usual comfort zone, or create one especially for this, and TELL us about it. For example: Photographers, show us your paintings. Painters, show us your poems. Be sure to TELL us about it too - your inspiration, process, etc.


Farktography: Look up. Look WAAAAYYYY up
This contest ended in a winning foursome with tfarmer001, RagnarD, kittyhas1000legs and Earguy.


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

The Fark Weird News Quiz is running a little late because it was stuck in Alabama with no electricity, but it'll be posted today (Wednesday). Keep an eye out for it.
· · ·

47 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-05-26 5:09:12 PM  
i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.
 
2021-05-26 5:13:03 PM  

craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.


Did you see the TFD thread about it?
 
2021-05-26 5:18:54 PM  
vaccinated Kentuckian

False premise: contradiction in terms.
 
2021-05-26 5:21:50 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?


yes, but i just dont care.
 
2021-05-26 5:23:29 PM  

Heamer: vaccinated Kentuckian

False premise: contradiction in terms.


I've read that alcohol is a disinfectant so drinking enough whiskey every day should kill off any bacteria and viruses inside the body. That's what is considered "fully vaccinated."
 
2021-05-26 5:24:45 PM  

craigzy: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

yes, but i just dont care.


Noted.
 
2021-05-26 5:26:10 PM  

craigzy: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

yes, but i just dont care.


Ditto
 
2021-05-26 5:27:11 PM  

169th Cousin: craigzy: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

yes, but i just dont care.

Ditto


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 5:29:05 PM  

Heamer: vaccinated Kentuckian

False premise: contradiction in terms.


Just between you and me, I heard Bill Gates slipped some microchips into their bourbon. They'll be fine, and get plenty of excellent 5G data connectivity.
 
2021-05-26 5:29:39 PM  
Maybe go gawk at the inbred Appalachian people a nurse friend told me about.
 
2021-05-26 5:29:46 PM  

169th Cousin: 169th Cousin: craigzy: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

yes, but i just dont care.

Ditto

[Fark user image image 400x168]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 5:30:22 PM  

169th Cousin: 169th Cousin: 169th Cousin: craigzy: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

yes, but i just dont care.

Ditto

[Fark user image image 400x168]

[Fark user image image 425x239]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 5:35:01 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 5:36:23 PM  
They do the same thing as on Halloween.  They pump kin.
 
2021-05-26 5:37:44 PM  

craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.


I doth protest that I never make any of these lists.
 
2021-05-26 5:38:52 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?


NO. And now it's too late to air my grievances! They'll have to stay bottled up inside. Festering. Next to a Taco Bell Beefy Potatorito. God, I got to get another one of those. Not the grievances... the $1 Taco bell item. Those are pretty damn good.

And now, I already forgot what my grievances were.

My toilet, on the other hand, will understand the meaning of the word "punishment" later.
 
2021-05-26 5:39:02 PM  
I hope it goes better for you than our Victoria Day up here in Canucklestan. Thanks to covid restrictions it was more dour than Queen Vic herself (a wet piss-soaked blanket, I tell ya).
 
2021-05-26 5:39:07 PM  

foo monkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

I doth protest that I never make any of these lists.


You'd need TF for that.
 
2021-05-26 5:39:28 PM  

craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.


Honestly, making the NNL was just too much performance pressure for some of us in TFD...
 
2021-05-26 5:39:54 PM  

Candygram4Mongo: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Honestly, making the NNL was just too much performance pressure for some of us in TFD...


I 1000% disagree.
 
2021-05-26 5:41:35 PM  

Kitty2.0: Candygram4Mongo: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Honestly, making the NNL was just too much performance pressure for some of us in TFD...

I 1000% disagree.


Well... I had certain literary standards to maintain.
 
2021-05-26 5:42:44 PM  

Candygram4Mongo: Kitty2.0: Candygram4Mongo: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Honestly, making the NNL was just too much performance pressure for some of us in TFD...

I 1000% disagree.

Well... I had certain literary standards to maintain.


It was the only way for me to make the NNL, I rarely comment on the other tabs.
 
2021-05-26 5:44:49 PM  
I made the TFD Funny list long ago with a comment that had 4 whole votes.

I should have asked for multiple recounts because I didn't even think it was funny and I stole those votes from a fat orange man.
 
2021-05-26 5:45:16 PM  

Destructor: DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?

NO. And now it's too late to air my grievances! They'll have to stay bottled up inside. Festering. Next to a Taco Bell Beefy Potatorito. God, I got to get another one of those. Not the grievances... the $1 Taco bell item. Those are pretty damn good.

And now, I already forgot what my grievances were.

My toilet, on the other hand, will understand the meaning of the word "punishment" later.


Toilet Destructor .... seems you have a new Fark handle in the works
 
2021-05-26 6:01:14 PM  
I should feel something?
 
2021-05-26 6:02:10 PM  

Kitty2.0: Candygram4Mongo: Kitty2.0: Candygram4Mongo: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Honestly, making the NNL was just too much performance pressure for some of us in TFD...

I 1000% disagree.

Well... I had certain literary standards to maintain.

It was the only way for me to make the NNL, I rarely comment on the other tabs.


comeupants.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 6:03:32 PM  

foo monkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

I doth protest that I never make any of these lists.


You need to either develop a schtick, or simply repeat a tried and true Fark meme.
 
2021-05-26 6:11:46 PM  
From the patron saint of FARK

The Red Green Show - Handyman Corner Bathtub BBQ
Youtube W5Zo3d5MaU0
 
2021-05-26 6:11:59 PM  
comeupants.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 6:15:19 PM  
What Do Simple Folk Do - Julie Andrews & Richard Burton from Camelot
Youtube BSyPiS0R0tE
 
2021-05-26 6:35:58 PM  
Same as always, a cousin.
 
2021-05-26 7:15:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 7:55:15 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: [Fark user image 450x337] [View Full Size image _x_]


What happens with the shoe of champagne?
 
2021-05-26 7:58:40 PM  
lol Dershowitz suing Netflix for $80M over Epstein
 
2021-05-26 7:59:37 PM  

libranoelrose: DisseminationMonkey: [Fark user image 450x337] [View Full Size image _x_]

What happens with the shoe of champagne?


It is supposed to be drunk
 
2021-05-26 8:02:06 PM  

wearsmanyhats: It is supposed to be drunk


I know I'd be drunk if someone poured as much champagne into me as I could hold.
 
2021-05-26 8:04:07 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Same as always, a cousin.


It's the Kentucky version of the Theory of Relativity: Eligibility = Mother x Cousin^2.
 
2021-05-26 8:05:40 PM  

danceswithcrows: wearsmanyhats: It is supposed to be drunk

I know I'd be drunk if someone poured as much champagne into me as I could hold.


Wanna Netflix and Chill?
 
2021-05-26 8:47:26 PM  

libranoelrose: Wanna Netflix and Chill?


I don't have Netflix.  I don't even know if I could actually run it.  Every computer here that's not the ork laptop runs Linux.  I have been slowly getting through this youtube series about a bunch of people watching terrible movies and commenting on them though. Page through the list, if you recognize a title from box art you saw, or word of mouth, it'll probably be worth your while to watch that episode.  (Roughly 1 hour per 3 bad movies.  YMMV.  EPID.)
 
2021-05-26 10:21:12 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?


Also:  TFDers need to step up their voting game.

I mean, I've given CHOICE posts that are [Smart] and/or [Funny], but y'all don't have any sensibilities of what's truly smart or funny.  So TFD is left to wither.

You really only have yourselves to blame.

SHAME

SHAME

SHAME
 
2021-05-26 10:22:11 PM  

eyeq360: Heamer: vaccinated Kentuckian

False premise: contradiction in terms.

I've read that alcohol is a disinfectant so drinking enough whiskey every day should kill off any bacteria and viruses inside the body. That's what is considered "fully vaccinated."


WOKRS FOR ME
 
2021-05-26 10:31:09 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: craigzy: i doth protest that TF funny/smart has been abolished.

Did you see the TFD thread about it?


I for one did noooot see that and it makes sense, so I just want to let you know that if you ever want to just lift any of my posts and add them verbatim into the NNL as an interlude between categories, je vous en prie.
 
2021-05-27 12:54:44 AM  
 
2021-05-27 5:09:09 AM  

ox45tallboy: ...and the Quiz is up.

https://www.fark.com/comments/11455271​


You should personally pay for a month of free TFD so you don't have to bring it up in the weekly Fark Finance Meetingiii to the winner.
 
2021-05-27 5:09:54 AM  
To the winner.

Or anyone who still keeps clicking.
 
2021-05-27 5:11:23 AM  
lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-27 8:17:44 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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