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Fark NotNewsletter: Don't stress about getting gas
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-05-12 11:52:26 AM, edited 2021-05-12 2:20:49 PM (75 comments) | Permalink
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923 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2021 at 8:33 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

Looks like the eastern half of the U.S. is experiencing a half self-inflicted gas shortage.  Here in KY it's unclear how this will play out. I've decided to just wait until after the weekend, and if we run out also, well that's what Netflix is for.

In Fark news, we have been trying out new discussion threads.  In particular, we now have a weekly garden thread 7 a.m. Tuesdays.  If you have any ideas for others, either general discussion or watch parties or whatever, let us know and we'll probably give them a try. Email me you ideas - drew at this website.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Weird Hal speculated on the cause of Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce
markie_farkie wrote a review of Kid Rock's Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N' Roll Steakhouse
aimtastic's spouse reacted to the news of the colostomy bag incident at Kid Rock's bar
Pocket Ninja gave advice about proper ceiling fan maintenance
ralphjr showed us where Josh Duggar learned to get around monitoring devices to allegedly access illegal content on his computer
fragMasterFlash updated one of Kid Rock's songs to reflect current events
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen recognized one of the photos from a real estate listing
comrade figured out the most likely reason the Gateses split up
Carter Pewterschmidt had a harsh realization about household chores
Candygram for Mongo pointed out how the people who founded Mexico City could've kept it from sinking

Smart:
Cubansaltyballs translated the technical description of what Josh Duggar is accused of doing
masterofnothing showed that Kid Rock actually does pretend to be something he's not
Neondistraction didn't think the judge fully thought through the conditions for Duggar's release
kabar felt well qualified to judge accused war criminal Eddie Gallagher
Driedsponge cautioned us about judging young people for performing dangerous stunts to put on the internet
NewportBarGuy understood why a man felt moved to fling the contents of his colostomy bag around Kid Rock's bar
queen biatch of the universe gave an explanation of why so many people covered up Josh Duggar's alleged crimes, from the point of view of someone who grew up in the Quiverfull movement
Colour_out_of_Space, after 8th grade archery class, decided to let a fellow middle schooler join in the reindeer games

Politics Funny:
JerseyTim reacted in disbelief to the stickers covering the back of an apparent Trump fan's vehicle
mrshowrules contrasted a photo of Donald Trump to one of Barack Obama in the same setting that was posted above it
The Googles Do Nothing found someone who was on Candace Owens' side when Ted Lieu played her comments about Hitler at a hearing on white nationalism
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated how Mitt Romney should've reacted when he was booed at the Utah GOP convention
TWX updated a classic comic

Politics Smart:
weddingsinger argued that Americans were never meant to keep it all in the family
Giant Clown Shoe saw one bright side to some people refusing to follow even simple precautions
SpectroBoy figured out how the Bidens' dog could've released his aggression without Republican scrutiny
make me some tea uses The Psaki Method
ShavedOrangutan explained why taxes exist


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Kick The Chair encountered this traveler on a divine path
Yammering_Splat_Vector turned this Photoshop into a mashup
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this building all it needs
RedZoneTuba was prepared to react to a reaction to an emergency
Kick The Chair damned us maniacs all to 'Bell
zeon showed that Mickey Mouse was about to murder millions
Yammering_Splat_Vector ran into this troubled couple
Kick The Chair found an ancient ancestor of the star of "2001: A Space Odyssey"
bugdozer hinted at imminent disaster
Dodo David discovered what Batman hates even more than people singing that he smells

Captions:
From
Caption Hamish as he emerges from his bath:
Cache could tell this bear was up to no good
Stile4aly knew what the best part of this swim was
Harry Freakstorm voiced the moment Hamish knew he was screwed

Fartist Friday: Recreate iconic memes using birds
TypoFlyspray made use of a familiar "hair"style

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: For International Astronomy Day, we take inspiration from the Sombrero galaxy, the Pinwheel and Eye of Sauron galaxies, etc. Design -- using any medium -- a new galaxy and name it after what it resembles

Farktography: Negative Space
DorisLessingCat gave us a peek at Viracocha


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm probably holding off on ordering anything from ebay until we get not just drone delivery but drone enforcement of people adhering to their published prices.

On the Quiz itself, Kidsmakeyoucrazy came out on top with 974, followed by Denjiro in second with 961 and jaycharms in third with 937. HighwayBill came in fourth with 918, and Auntie Cheesus made the top five with 913.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which Internet giant took home an Oscar for best short subject documentary. Only 20% of quiztakers knew that this year's winner "Colette" was a joint project between Electronic Arts' Respawn Games studio and the VR tech brand Oculus - which is owned by Facebook. I'm betting Zuck buys a replica for the Oculus offices and keeps the original in his basement lair next to your Internet browsing history and that shard from the Ark of the Covenant.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company got a stern warning from California's Water Resource Board. 86% of quiztakers knew that it was Nestlé that was overrunning their allotment of spring water from the San Bernardino forest to fulfill demand for its Arrowhead product. On the plus side, they only get to bottle it for a couple of more months before they have to call it "summer water" and that always drops the demand.

The hardest question on Last Week's Hard Quiz was over which 60's Hanna-Barbera series was getting a reboot on Fox. Only 47% of quiztakers recognized the name Jean Vander Pyl as the voice of Wilma Flintstone - and she also was the original voice of Pebbles Flintstone, a grown-up version of whom Elizabeth Banks will be voicing in the new series. I'm guessing at this rate 50 years from now someone's going to be rebooting South Park with the kids all grown up and trying to have careers, probably starring a descendant of a Baldwin.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the new officially licensed Krispy Kreme Glazed Donut flavored snack. 89% of quiztakers recognized Smartfood as a popcorn brand. Personally, I think Krispy Kreme should just cut out the middleman and sell their "Glazed Donut" flavor as a syrup we can put on whatever the heck we want, but that's just me. I mean, who wouldn't like cauliflower if it tasted like Krispy Kreme Glazed Donuts?

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

75 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-05-12 11:56:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


No stress here!
 
2021-05-12 11:56:31 AM  
The shortage doesn't seem to be hitting here, but I went out this morning and filled up my car just in case. Not that I really go much of anywhere these days, but I had maybe 2 gallons left in there.
 
2021-05-12 11:57:54 AM  
75% of the gas stations in the Raleigh and Charlotte areas are out.

nobody panics like we do.
 
2021-05-12 11:59:06 AM  
But if I don't I'll be trapped in my house, like a rat in a cage!
 
2021-05-12 12:00:25 PM  
Hell, I've been stressin' about gettin' gas for over 15 years on this dang site!

/why am I talkin' like Gabby Hayes?
 
2021-05-12 12:01:40 PM  

Shostie: The shortage doesn't seem to be hitting here, but I went out this morning and filled up my car just in case. Not that I really go much of anywhere these days, but I had maybe 2 gallons left in there.


Yeah, I'm low on gas and will probably fill up today or tomorrow, which I'd be doing anyway. I'm wondering if people will be giving me the stink eye thinking I'm doing it because of the pipeline thing. I remember that sort of thing happening when there were rumors of a shortage on 9/11.
 
2021-05-12 12:02:19 PM  
WUT!?!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:03:27 PM  
I live 1/2 mile from the pipeline. We've been through this stupidity before.
 
2021-05-12 12:04:32 PM  
I had gas last night.  I blame the burritos.

/Not that kind of gas?
 
2021-05-12 12:04:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:06:25 PM  
I filled up my car on Saturday when Fark first told me about the pipeline shutdown. Thank fark!
 
2021-05-12 12:09:01 PM  
I haven't been following this. Do I need toilet paper?
 
2021-05-12 12:09:46 PM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:11:41 PM  
I'm more stressed about Ethereum gas than real gas
 
2021-05-12 12:14:57 PM  

Palined Parenthood: I haven't been following this. Do I need toilet paper?


You will when you see the gas prices.
 
2021-05-12 12:20:14 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:20:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:22:01 PM  

cleek: 75% of the gas stations in the Raleigh and Charlotte areas are out.

nobody panics like we do.


I'm surprised people in NC aren't stocking up on milk and bread just in case.
 
2021-05-12 12:22:48 PM  

quintas: [Fark user image image 622x829]


You know, at least they're using correct containers instead of plastic garbage bags and sh*t.
 
2021-05-12 12:22:52 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: [Fark user image 480x410] [View Full Size image _x_]


Heh!

You should post that in the Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread :D
 
2021-05-12 12:23:04 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:23:12 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

My hybrid is good for another month.

And since the gas shortage is manufactured I should have lower prices in a few weeks when I do refill and all the hoarders are trying to top off their tanks with the hefty bags full of high octane stacked in their garage.

Thanks, morans!
 
2021-05-12 12:24:57 PM  

bthom37: [Fark user image 425x238]

No stress here!


I know you are joking but if you want to have real fun use styrofoam coolers instead of plastic bags.

/napalm sticks to kids
 
2021-05-12 12:26:20 PM  
 
2021-05-12 12:29:45 PM  
I tried feasting on my neighbors' brain goo, but apparently we're low on that too.

:(
 
2021-05-12 12:31:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:33:57 PM  
I wasn't worried about, but I got a phone call from work this morning telling me to get the work car filled ASAP. I haven't been driving it and I can't remember the last time I filled up. I ended up putting a little less then 5 gallons in. When I got back I took my truck and topped that off as it was time to do that anyway.
 
2021-05-12 12:43:33 PM  
What the Hell!!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:48:20 PM  

Moroning: What the Hell!!

[Fark user image 850x1296]


!!!!

The desert dweller in me is like 'why are you putting gas in a water tank???'
 
2021-05-12 12:48:48 PM  

Gleeman: cleek: 75% of the gas stations in the Raleigh and Charlotte areas are out.

nobody panics like we do.

I'm surprised people in NC aren't stocking up on milk and bread just in case.


Nah. French Toast weather gets here later in summer when they start naming the wind.
 
2021-05-12 12:49:32 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Moroning: What the Hell!!

[Fark user image 850x1296]

!!!!

The desert dweller in me is like 'why are you putting gas in a water tank???'


As former country boy I see a fertilizer tank.
 
2021-05-12 12:52:13 PM  
I had Brussels sprouts for dinner, so I'm good.
 
2021-05-12 12:54:22 PM  
I saw a couple of articles this morning essentially saying, "there is no shortage of gas.  Yet people are taking their entire fleets of vehicles at once to fill them up.  Do you want there to be a shortage of gas?  Because that's how you create a shortage!"

It's like the farking toilet paper thing all over again.
 
2021-05-12 12:55:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 12:56:53 PM  

durbnpoisn: I saw a couple of articles this morning essentially saying, "there is no shortage of gas.  Yet people are taking their entire fleets of vehicles at once to fill them up.  Do you want there to be a shortage of gas?  Because that's how you create a shortage!"

It's like the farking toilet paper thing all over again.


Big gas has a huge boner right now, cause these dumbasses are giving them a reason to raise gas prices extremely high.
 
2021-05-12 12:59:55 PM  

Wanebo: Gleeman: cleek: 75% of the gas stations in the Raleigh and Charlotte areas are out.

nobody panics like we do.

I'm surprised people in NC aren't stocking up on milk and bread just in case.

Nah. French Toast weather gets here later in summer when they start naming the wind.


I live in NC too, just being snarky since the default panic mode here seems to be emptying the milk and bread out of the stores.

hurricane? French toast
Snow storm? French toast
A man in China is coughing? French toast
 
2021-05-12 1:02:15 PM  

Moroning: durbnpoisn: I saw a couple of articles this morning essentially saying, "there is no shortage of gas.  Yet people are taking their entire fleets of vehicles at once to fill them up.  Do you want there to be a shortage of gas?  Because that's how you create a shortage!"

It's like the farking toilet paper thing all over again.

Big gas has a huge boner right now, cause these dumbasses are giving them a reason to raise gas prices extremely high.


Kemp suspended the gas tax until Saturday.

And I really thought he couldn't be any more of a Moran, but here we are.
 
2021-05-12 1:07:23 PM  

Moroning: What the Hell!!

[Fark user image image 850x1296]


Profiteering
 
2021-05-12 1:10:38 PM  

Moroning: durbnpoisn: I saw a couple of articles this morning essentially saying, "there is no shortage of gas.  Yet people are taking their entire fleets of vehicles at once to fill them up.  Do you want there to be a shortage of gas?  Because that's how you create a shortage!"

It's like the farking toilet paper thing all over again.

Big gas has a huge boner right now, cause these dumbasses are giving them a reason cover to raise gas prices extremely high.


FTFY.  They don't need a reason, but they will appreciate someone else taking blame away from them.
 
2021-05-12 1:12:22 PM  

quintas: [Fark user image 622x829]


I need to fill my 3 gas cans up this week for my lawn equipment (ran out 2 weeks ago and just haven't had a chance to take them in yet), but now I'm concerned that's what I'll look like at the station.
 
2021-05-12 1:13:24 PM  

Moroning: WUT!?!
[Fark user image 850x213]


I have to funny this because there is no crying face.
 
2021-05-12 1:22:25 PM  
In Yesterday's thread I predicted that calling an unnecessary state of emergency would be self fulfilling.  And in a week there will be a glut of gas as nobody needs to fill up. Also dispensing into an unapproved container is illegal.
 
2021-05-12 1:29:45 PM  

durbnpoisn: I saw a couple of articles this morning essentially saying, "there is no shortage of gas.  Yet people are taking their entire fleets of vehicles at once to fill them up.  Do you want there to be a shortage of gas?  Because that's how you create a shortage!"

It's like the farking toilet paper thing all over again.


I assume Tucker Carlson is fearmongering about it.
 
2021-05-12 1:34:35 PM  

Moroning: What the Hell!!

[Fark user image image 850x1296]


He probably needs it for his lawnmower. Gotta mow 1,500 acres this weekend.
 
2021-05-12 1:46:53 PM  
Who's stressing?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-12 1:48:22 PM  
It's almost as if announcing there might be a shortage causes a shortage.  Or at least exacerbates it
 
2021-05-12 1:56:37 PM  
Should be fun to lift. 13-15 gallons at 6.3 pounds per gallon...

Fark user imageView Full Size

/shamelessly stolen image
 
2021-05-12 2:17:14 PM  
Buffalo Fark Party is this year, not last.

https://www.fark.com/comments/party47​4​/
 
2021-05-12 2:19:53 PM  

Moroning: Nadie_AZ: Moroning: What the Hell!!

[Fark user image 850x1296]

!!!!

The desert dweller in me is like 'why are you putting gas in a water tank???'

As former country boy I see a fertilizer tank.


I'm seconding water tank, they have them at the campers that live along the beach all summer. Either way, I have a silly feeling that person will, one day, try to use that for potable water again.
 
2021-05-12 2:23:56 PM  

maxandgrinch: Should be fun to lift. 13-15 gallons at 6.3 pounds per gallon...

[Fark user image 748x570]
/shamelessly stolen image


She's about to drive around with open gas in an enclosed car.

Even opening the window won't be enough, and if she drives past someone with a cigarette, she'll take out a city block.
 
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