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(Telegraph)   There can be worse things to happen to your village than being invaded by Kashmiri goats after bad weather. Such as not having a pair of loose-fitting boots at the ready   ( telegraph.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird, Great Orme, long-haired Kashmiri goats, Royal family, Llandudno, Seaside resort, Windsor Great Park, Little Orme, Conwy County Borough  
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8103 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2018 at 5:05 PM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-04-24 04:32:29 PM  
Or Stairway to Heaven goats.
 
2018-04-24 05:06:13 PM  
This is pretty totes.
 
2018-04-24 05:10:47 PM  
The whoole village was withoot boots?

That'd Tote Ma Goat.
 
2018-04-24 05:11:31 PM  

ChipNASA: This is pretty totes.


i.redditmedia.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-24 05:12:33 PM  
Sorry to be a monster but .. I wonder how they taste as part of a curry dish.
 
2018-04-24 05:14:54 PM  

AeAe: Sorry to be a monster but .. I wonder how they taste as part of a curry dish.


img.youtube.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-24 05:36:14 PM  

ChipNASA: This is pretty totes.


No, these are pretty totes:

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-24 05:40:09 PM  
Sick headline Subby.  I don't think anyone else here grew up on a farm.
 
2018-04-24 05:41:14 PM  

blazemongr: ChipNASA: This is pretty totes.

[i.redditmedia.com image 600x416]


What's that red dot?
 
2018-04-24 05:47:17 PM  
"Last year we had twenty instances of children with ticks, and I think this summer we're going to have many more because they've been on the school field sunbathing and lounging among the plants.

TELL THEM TO STOP THAT, MAYBE
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-24 05:47:35 PM  
I'm sure that the U.K. has a number of new arrivals that would love to assist them with this goat problem.
 
2018-04-24 05:49:22 PM  
Llandudno...when the goats came.
 
2018-04-24 05:54:35 PM  
Mmmmmm. Mutton.
 
2018-04-24 05:58:49 PM  
Like I said to Dr. Doolittle; all them Sheeps are big time liers!
 
2018-04-24 05:59:58 PM  
Loose Fitting Boots is the name of my goat rape tribute band...
 
2018-04-24 06:02:29 PM  
Thanks Smokey!
 
2018-04-24 06:04:07 PM  

BoboGreen: Loose Fitting Boots is the name of my goat rape tribute band...


I'd forgotten about the filthy livestock-raping joke, and just assumed the fit of the boots was related to how likely you were to have a boot pulled off in the farm's mud/shiat. "Thanks" for reminding me.
 
2018-04-24 06:05:35 PM  
The town is filled with Kashmiri goats. My back aches...my heart aches...but my feet...my feet are resilient. Thank God I took off my heels, and put on my Himilayan walking shoes.
 
2018-04-24 06:07:10 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-24 06:12:38 PM  
The goats have been loitering outside a local primary school

Kids these days...
 
2018-04-24 06:15:53 PM  
"The kid, dubbed Fusilier Shenkin IV, was eventually captured one month later and is undergoing six months of training at Maindy Barracks in Cardiff."

Good luck with that?
 
2018-04-24 06:22:29 PM  
"Most mornings we've been having to chase them off the school fields before the school day begins, so that involves the children from the Breakfast Club giving me a hand.

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong...
 
2018-04-24 06:29:34 PM  
Meh, could be Damascus goats. Nightmare fuel.
 
2018-04-24 06:29:45 PM  
For those who don't know the joke:

A guy's doing a PhD in sheep shagging. He goes off touring Britain finding out how people do it in different areas. First he goes up to Aberdeen. He goes into a pub, buys a drink, and asks the barman where he can find the sheep shaggers. The barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub.

So he goes over to this corner and gets talking to the guys there. Once there he says:

"Actually I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so could you tell me, how do you do it around here?"

"Well we put on wellies, go into a field, and we grab a sheep. Then we shove its hind legs down into the wellies so it can't get away, and shag it."

Next he goes down to Cumbria and goes into a pub in Keswick. He asks the barman where the local sheep shaggers hang out, and he points to the darkest, dingiest corner. So he goes over to the corner, and asks the guys:

Excuse me but I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so would you mind telling me, how do you do it around here?"

Well we put on wellies and go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find a sheep we shove its hind legs down into the wellies, then shag it."

He then decides to see what they do in Wales, so he takes a trip to Aberystwyth. There he finds a dodgy looking pub, and asks the barman where he can find the local sheep shaggers. Once again, the barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub. So he goes over and asks:

"Excuse me, I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging. Could you tell me how you do it in this area?"

"Well, bach, we go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find one we grab it around the waist, hold it as tight as possible so it won't get away, and shag it."

"But, why don't you just shove its hind legs down inside your wellies? Wouldn't that be easier?"

"What, no kissing?!"
 
2018-04-24 06:40:39 PM  

Phineas J. Whoopee: Next he goes down to Cumbria and goes into a pub in Keswick. He asks the barman where the local sheep shaggers hang out, and he points to the darkest, dingiest corner. So he goes over to the corner, and asks the guys:


Completely unrelated to sheep shagging, but my Grandma's from Cumberland, and Mum's brother and his family visited once to see where we came from.  That town is pronounced something like "kissik", and there's one close by called Cockermouthe, pronounced as written.  Uncle Bill stopped in at a restaurant and was served by a recent Chinese immigrant.  They started talking about where my uncle had been travelling, and the guy came back with this gem: "You go Cockermouthe and Kissit?"

/Grandma's uncle's obituary said he died in Cockermouthe under queer circumstances
 
2018-04-24 06:45:42 PM  

Marksrevenge: BoboGreen: Loose Fitting Boots is the name of my goat rape tribute band...

I'd forgotten about the filthy livestock-raping joke, and just assumed the fit of the boots was related to how likely you were to have a boot pulled off in the farm's mud/shiat. "Thanks" for reminding me.


huh, that's what I thought too.
 
2018-04-24 07:06:13 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

/ still misses Goat
 
2018-04-24 07:30:43 PM  
Kashmir
Youtube SsaFBNvhceA


/ seems like someone had to
 
2018-04-24 08:19:27 PM  
 Why do farmers wear button fly jeans?  Because a goat can hear a zipper from a mile away!
 
fek [TotalFark]
2018-04-24 08:30:29 PM  

puffy999: Meh, could be Damascus goats. Nightmare fuel.


Yowza, that's terrifying.  Now I want one.
 
2018-04-24 08:41:44 PM  
Were they screaming goats?
 
2018-04-24 09:36:19 PM  

Nick Nostril: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/SsaFBNvh​ceA]

/ seems like someone had to


Sounds more like they want them Over The Hills And Far Away..
 
2018-04-24 10:03:38 PM  

Nick Nostril: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/SsaFBNvh​ceA]

/ seems like someone had to


"We're goating to Kashmiri..."
 
2018-04-24 10:57:01 PM  
Subby is right, I'd much rather this than my town being invaded by kahmiri goat farkers. Regardless of the weather, or footwear status
 
2018-04-25 12:45:37 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-25 04:42:54 AM  
I had been working for 36 hours already on a network upgrade that required touching every workstation in a 1000+ computer campus when the boss sent us home for a few hours to shower and rest before coming back to finish. A blizzard was raging at the time. I showered and shaved, but didn't sleep, I was in a hallucinatory state.

Driving back through the tunnel of snow that the headlights from my '66 Cadillac carved out of the dark, I saw them....

Tiny goats.

Not even real goats, but tiny goats.

"I can't deal with tiny goats just now!"

A quarter mile down the road I found the source, a car had slid off the road into a fence and freed a herd of midget goats, but this was too weird to deal with at 4:00am in a sleep-deprived state.

*shudder*

tiny goats.
 
2018-04-25 11:20:07 AM  

maxheck: I had been working for 36 hours already on a network upgrade that required touching every workstation in a 1000+ computer campus when the boss sent us home for a few hours to shower and rest before coming back to finish. A blizzard was raging at the time. I showered and shaved, but didn't sleep, I was in a hallucinatory state.

Driving back through the tunnel of snow that the headlights from my '66 Cadillac carved out of the dark, I saw them....

Tiny goats.

Not even real goats, but tiny goats.

"I can't deal with tiny goats just now!"

A quarter mile down the road I found the source, a car had slid off the road into a fence and freed a herd of midget goats, but this was too weird to deal with at 4:00am in a sleep-deprived state.

*shudder*

tiny goats.


--
midget goats sounds pretty cute. I would have taken a couple home.
 
2018-04-25 12:00:27 PM  

Phineas J. Whoopee: For those who don't know the joke:

A guy's doing a PhD in sheep shagging. He goes off touring Britain finding out how people do it in different areas. First he goes up to Aberdeen. He goes into a pub, buys a drink, and asks the barman where he can find the sheep shaggers. The barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub.

So he goes over to this corner and gets talking to the guys there. Once there he says:

"Actually I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so could you tell me, how do you do it around here?"

"Well we put on wellies, go into a field, and we grab a sheep. Then we shove its hind legs down into the wellies so it can't get away, and shag it."

Next he goes down to Cumbria and goes into a pub in Keswick. He asks the barman where the local sheep shaggers hang out, and he points to the darkest, dingiest corner. So he goes over to the corner, and asks the guys:

Excuse me but I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging, so would you mind telling me, how do you do it around here?"

Well we put on wellies and go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find a sheep we shove its hind legs down into the wellies, then shag it."

He then decides to see what they do in Wales, so he takes a trip to Aberystwyth. There he finds a dodgy looking pub, and asks the barman where he can find the local sheep shaggers. Once again, the barman points to the darkest, dingiest corner of the pub. So he goes over and asks:

"Excuse me, I'm doing a thesis on sheep shagging. Could you tell me how you do it in this area?"

"Well, bach, we go out into a field looking for sheep. When we find one we grab it around the waist, hold it as tight as possible so it won't get away, and shag it."

"But, why don't you just shove its hind legs down inside your wellies? Wouldn't that be easier?"

"What, no kissing?!"


cromys.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-25 04:22:18 PM  

AeAe: maxheck: I had been working for 36 hours already on a network upgrade that required touching every workstation in a 1000+ computer campus when the boss sent us home for a few hours to shower and rest before coming back to finish. A blizzard was raging at the time. I showered and shaved, but didn't sleep, I was in a hallucinatory state.

Driving back through the tunnel of snow that the headlights from my '66 Cadillac carved out of the dark, I saw them....

Tiny goats.

Not even real goats, but tiny goats.

"I can't deal with tiny goats just now!"

A quarter mile down the road I found the source, a car had slid off the road into a fence and freed a herd of midget goats, but this was too weird to deal with at 4:00am in a sleep-deprived state.

*shudder*

tiny goats.

--
midget goats sounds pretty cute. I would have taken a couple home.


Trust me dear heart, if you were as sleep-deprived as I was, you'd have been very disturbed by an apparition of tiny goats!

/ had a G/F who always made me slow to a stop so she could AWWW over the miniature ponies near my house.
 
2018-04-25 04:49:26 PM  
Now that I think of it...  Miniature ponies are gone, Girlfriend is gone... Someone check Florida for a sudden mini-pony ranch!
 
2018-04-25 05:08:26 PM  

AeAe: maxheck: I had been working for 36 hours already on a network upgrade that required touching every workstation in a 1000+ computer campus when the boss sent us home for a few hours to shower and rest before coming back to finish. A blizzard was raging at the time. I showered and shaved, but didn't sleep, I was in a hallucinatory state.

Driving back through the tunnel of snow that the headlights from my '66 Cadillac carved out of the dark, I saw them....

Tiny goats.

Not even real goats, but tiny goats.

"I can't deal with tiny goats just now!"

A quarter mile down the road I found the source, a car had slid off the road into a fence and freed a herd of midget goats, but this was too weird to deal with at 4:00am in a sleep-deprived state.

*shudder*

tiny goats.

--
midget goats sounds pretty cute. I would have taken a couple home.


I'll make a deal. If ever we're traveling together on MD Rt. 32, I will stop the truck so you can run across the field and nab one of the Alpacas. You'll have to make a second trip for the other one, because you don't want a lonely Alpaca.
 
2018-04-26 01:42:46 AM  

maxheck: AeAe: maxheck: I had been working for 36 hours already on a network upgrade that required touching every workstation in a 1000+ computer campus when the boss sent us home for a few hours to shower and rest before coming back to finish. A blizzard was raging at the time. I showered and shaved, but didn't sleep, I was in a hallucinatory state.

Driving back through the tunnel of snow that the headlights from my '66 Cadillac carved out of the dark, I saw them....

Tiny goats.

Not even real goats, but tiny goats.

"I can't deal with tiny goats just now!"

A quarter mile down the road I found the source, a car had slid off the road into a fence and freed a herd of midget goats, but this was too weird to deal with at 4:00am in a sleep-deprived state.

*shudder*

tiny goats.

--
midget goats sounds pretty cute. I would have taken a couple home.

I'll make a deal. If ever we're traveling together on MD Rt. 32, I will stop the truck so you can run across the field and nab one of the Alpacas. You'll have to make a second trip for the other one, because you don't want a lonely Alpaca.


--
I live in MD although I'm never on 32. I go to Arundel Mills sometimes.
 
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