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(Mediaite)   Ivana Trump has some words of wisdom for soon-to-be ex-daughter in law. "Who is going to date and marry the woman who has five children?"   ( mediaite.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, ex-wifeVanessa Trump, spouseIvana Trump, Marriage, Donald Trump Jr., Donald Jr., singer Aubrey O'Day, Donald Trump, New York Post's  
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6898 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Apr 2018 at 5:55 AM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



127 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-04-22 09:58:51 PM  
I'm game.

/I like kids.
 
2018-04-22 10:08:27 PM  
How much is she getting in the divorce?
 
2018-04-22 10:08:43 PM  
"But I honestly don't know that many men who can keep their zippers up." Ivana's post-marriage prospects for her daughter-in-law are grim.

Well if that's true, why would she want another one, exactly?
 
2018-04-22 10:36:47 PM  

Leandros A: "But I honestly don't know that many men who can keep their zippers up." Ivana's post-marriage prospects for her daughter-in-law are grim.

Well if that's true, why would she want another one, exactly?


We exist, but none of them would ever show interest in Ivana.
 
2018-04-22 10:45:20 PM  
when the best defense your own mother can offer up is
""But I honestly don't know that many men who can keep their zippers up."
It says rather a lot about both.

the entire clan and hangers-on are a monument to the worst America has to offer.

1/2 scoop is so farked.
 
2018-04-22 10:58:27 PM  
So she raised sons who can't keep their zippers up? Good job. Ivana, you chose Moron Don to father your children - proof that your judgment is extremely poor - so we can ignore you.
 
2018-04-22 11:28:36 PM  
She can just stick a $10K bundle of Ben Franklins on a hook and troll through Europe.  Since she hasn't had a bunch of work done at the Doctor Botchit plastic surgery center and day spa like Ivana has, and she gave Jr a second chance to straighten up and fly right before she kicked him to the curb, I'm sure she'll land some better catches than Ivana ever did.
 
2018-04-23 12:24:02 AM  

vygramul: How much is she getting in the divorce?


Probably as much as he can give her, because the divorce was probably just a way to shield assets in the increasingly likely scenario of Don Jr being charged with some crimes by the Mueller probe
 
433 [TotalFark]
2018-04-23 04:05:29 AM  
Ivana really needs a new stylist.  She has to know.  She's like the most cartoonish end of 1990's news anchors.  She really could look better if she took some risks, or had someone take care.

I mean, what do I know, I'm kind of a cartoon myself, but Ivana, if she is lucky, will be remembered as being as beautiful as a weeping Tammy Faye Bakker.

Get it together, Ivana, you can do it.  And while you're at it, maybe don't make public statements.  Ever.
 
2018-04-23 05:51:19 AM  
We're i unwed I would totally date a woman with five kids who had independent means. Why is marriage necessary!
 
2018-04-23 05:58:12 AM  
opens article...

Argh!

no wonder he moved on...
 
2018-04-23 06:02:52 AM  
I know a girl who has 4 kids, mental issues and herpes and wonders why she's still single.
 
2018-04-23 06:04:20 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-23 06:04:43 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

How bizarre.
 
2018-04-23 06:07:35 AM  

AirForceVet: I'm game.

/I like kids.


Do you like little half-Trumps?
 
2018-04-23 06:12:35 AM  
She's right on both counts. Men have overwhelming sex drives and shouldn't be trusted, and most normal men don't want to marry into a NYC-based Duggar household.

My guess is that the erstwhile Mrs. Trump moves on to a young, lazy, and broke boy toy type who is in it for the monthly allowance and free swimming pool access but doesn't give two shiats about her other than when she demands the sexy time once a week or so. Thankfully she can afford nannies to raise the children so boy toy doesn't actually have much contact with them, though given that it's the Trump family it wouldn't be surprising to read a "24 year old stepfather impregnates 16 year old stepdaughter" stories in a few years.

Disgusting people, really.
 
2018-04-23 06:15:57 AM  
The years have not been kind to Ivana.. and going by the comments, neither have the men in her life.
 
2018-04-23 06:17:19 AM  
She probably thinks that because she doesn't understand she surrounds herself with the most weasely, slimy, sleazeball low class guys who are all worthless shmucks down to the bone. Like Trump, she has a completely broken view of the world and what makes people 'classy' or worthwhile or admirable. She lives in a gilded sewer surrounded by disgusting worthless cretins. Now she's busy negging her soon to be ex-daughter in law for her son. A grotesque family all the way through. A dildo will make a better father to her grandkids than the nasty, greedy, spineless little snob she squatted out.
 
2018-04-23 06:18:03 AM  
Are kids really that much of a problem for rich women? The kids are raised by a nanny until they're school age, then they're shipped off to some snotty boarding school for 9 months out of the year.

Unless something drastic is about to happen with Uday's finances, his ex is just going to ride the alimony and child support express.
 
2018-04-23 06:19:09 AM  

stoli n coke: Are kids really that much of a problem for rich women? The kids are raised by a nanny until they're school age, then they're shipped off to some snotty boarding school for 9 months out of the year.

Unless something drastic is about to happen with Uday's finances, his ex is just going to ride the alimony and child support express.


Perhaps the Trump family is as broke as well all think it is.
 
2018-04-23 06:20:31 AM  
*clicks article*

img.fark.netView Full Size


*closes article window*
 
2018-04-23 06:24:13 AM  

Xanlexian: *clicks article*

[img.fark.net image 512x512]

*closes article window*


Going overboard on plastic surgery has consequences. Ironically, she'd probably look a lot better if she'd just aged naturally. Or at least she wouldn't look like a funhouse distortion of her former self.
 
2018-04-23 06:25:25 AM  
imfdb.orgView Full Size
 
2018-04-23 06:27:06 AM  
We all know the /pol/shiatters' treatment of single mothers is pretty grim, but what makes Ivana think she'll be in the market for a Trumpet anyway? I would think someone getting divorced from a Trump kid would be pretty sick of Trump supporters by now.
 
2018-04-23 06:28:53 AM  
"But I honestly don't know that many men who can keep their zippers up."

Except the wast majority of guys who isn't morally bankrupt, nor see the world as a place to grab as much as possible? You know; non-republicans?
Most guys knows to look but not touch. I guess mama Trump didn't know how to bring her boys up right, and having Two Scoops as a role model didn't help any. So while Ivana don't know many, I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.
 
2018-04-23 06:32:24 AM  

Leandros A: Well if that's true, why would she want another one, exactly?


It's the only career she has trained for?
 
2018-04-23 06:37:50 AM  

Shaggy_C: Men have overwhelming sex drives and shouldn't be trusted,


Is an excuse men who want to sleep around tell themselves.
 
2018-04-23 06:38:17 AM  
I know nothing at all about Vanessa, aside from her bad choice in marriage partners.  But if she doesn't get steady alimony payments and doesn't want to get a job herself, I could not possibly afford to marry her, no matter how nice a person she is.
 
2018-04-23 06:38:53 AM  

WegianWarrior: I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.


Yes, keep telling yourself that. It's a different world when you have that level of money; women actively throw themselves at you. You're at a party and go take a piss in the upstairs bathroom, and as you step back out into the hallway you find a supermodel-level babe completely nude and grabbing your crotch to guide you towards a bedroom. "Our secret" she laughs as she shuts the door. You are at the country club and having a post-round drink, and the cart girl comes to congratulate you on your great round with a smile you haven't seen from your wife in years. You head to the locker room to change and suddenly she pops up without a top on. Or you're backstage taping the Celebrity Apprentice and one of the hot female leads keep laughing at your jokes and while you're backstage packing up your stuff for the weekend, security opens the door and lets her slip in wearing nothing but her bathrobe and carrying a bottle of champagne to share on the dressing room couch...

Put most men in those situations and I guarantee the number of "zippers up" will be depressingly small. Men are swine.
 
2018-04-23 07:05:06 AM  
holy moly she is only seven years older than I am. Either that photo doesn't do her credit or she is one rough-looking 69-year-old.
 
2018-04-23 07:08:29 AM  

Nogale: AirForceVet: I'm game.

/I like kids.

Do you like little half-Trumps?


Good point. I guess we'll see if it's nurture or nature.
 
2018-04-23 07:12:15 AM  

stoli n coke: Xanlexian: *clicks article*

[img.fark.net image 512x512]

*closes article window*

Going overboard on plastic surgery has consequences. Ironically, she'd probably look a lot better if she'd just aged naturally. Or at least she wouldn't look like a funhouse distortion of her former self.


What are you talking about?  She looks perfectly..    OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!
am13.akamaized.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-23 07:18:43 AM  
I dunno. She is leaving. She is obviously the smart one. Just saying.
 
2018-04-23 07:27:46 AM  
She's ugly. She's horrible. She's right.
 
2018-04-23 07:28:22 AM  

HungLow: I dunno. She is leaving. She is obviously the smart one. Just saying.


In the Trump family, being "the smart one" carries about as much prestige as being the tallest member of the Lollipop Guild.
 
2018-04-23 07:33:59 AM  

Nogale: AirForceVet: I'm game.

/I like kids.

Do you like little half-Trumps?


I think your math is a bit off, wouldn't they be 1/4 Trumps?
 
2018-04-23 07:38:23 AM  
Vanessa is richer than Half Scoop, she recently inherited hundreds of millions of dollars from her late father.  I'm sure she'll have a wonderful life post-Trump.
 
2018-04-23 07:38:37 AM  
She won't have problems.
 
2018-04-23 07:41:38 AM  
"But I honestly don't know that many men who can keep their zippers up."

That would be because you are a whore who farks and marries rich assholes for money.
 
2018-04-23 07:43:14 AM  

Shaggy_C: WegianWarrior: I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.

Yes, keep telling yourself that. It's a different world when you have that level of money; women actively throw themselves at you. You're at a party and go take a piss in the upstairs bathroom, and as you step back out into the hallway you find a supermodel-level babe completely nude and grabbing your crotch to guide you towards a bedroom. "Our secret" she laughs as she shuts the door. You are at the country club and having a post-round drink, and the cart girl comes to congratulate you on your great round with a smile you haven't seen from your wife in years. You head to the locker room to change and suddenly she pops up without a top on. Or you're backstage taping the Celebrity Apprentice and one of the hot female leads keep laughing at your jokes and while you're backstage packing up your stuff for the weekend, security opens the door and lets her slip in wearing nothing but her bathrobe and carrying a bottle of champagne to share on the dressing room couch...

Put most men in those situations and I guarantee the number of "zippers up" will be depressingly small. Men are swine.


Have you considered writing for Penthouse?
 
2018-04-23 07:49:32 AM  
This is neither here nor there but my wife has a friend with 5 kids who divorced a couple years back for the same reason as Vanessa. She had a lot of men after her, dated a handful, and ended up in a stable relationship with one that she's very, very happy with. I don't think she's interested in rushing into marriage again but having 5 kids held her back in no way at all. And she wasn't rich either, the opposite in fact, she was a SAHM to 5 including special needs. She just happens to be a really wonderful person.

There's someone for everyone, as long as you keep an open mind, I imagine. Some men like kids too, apparently.
 
2018-04-23 07:55:47 AM  
I don't care about the kids. The demonstrably revolting taste in men can't be ignored.
 
2018-04-23 08:01:15 AM  

Millennium: Shaggy_C: WegianWarrior: I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.

Yes, keep telling yourself that. It's a different world when you have that level of money; women actively throw themselves at you. You're at a party and go take a piss in the upstairs bathroom, and as you step back out into the hallway you find a supermodel-level babe completely nude and grabbing your crotch to guide you towards a bedroom. "Our secret" she laughs as she shuts the door. You are at the country club and having a post-round drink, and the cart girl comes to congratulate you on your great round with a smile you haven't seen from your wife in years. You head to the locker room to change and suddenly she pops up without a top on. Or you're backstage taping the Celebrity Apprentice and one of the hot female leads keep laughing at your jokes and while you're backstage packing up your stuff for the weekend, security opens the door and lets her slip in wearing nothing but her bathrobe and carrying a bottle of champagne to share on the dressing room couch...

Put most men in those situations and I guarantee the number of "zippers up" will be depressingly small. Men are swine.

Have you considered writing for Penthouse?


For the GOP and the Penthouse forum, it is always the "woman" who are causing those poor men to be taken advantage of by their dicks...
 
2018-04-23 08:05:02 AM  

Shaggy_C: WegianWarrior: I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.

Yes, keep telling yourself that. It's a different world when you have that level of money; women actively throw themselves at you. You're at a party and go take a piss in the upstairs bathroom, and as you step back out into the hallway you find a supermodel-level babe completely nude and grabbing your crotch to guide you towards a bedroom. "Our secret" she laughs as she shuts the door. You are at the country club and having a post-round drink, and the cart girl comes to congratulate you on your great round with a smile you haven't seen from your wife in years. You head to the locker room to change and suddenly she pops up without a top on. Or you're backstage taping the Celebrity Apprentice and one of the hot female leads keep laughing at your jokes and while you're backstage packing up your stuff for the weekend, security opens the door and lets her slip in wearing nothing but her bathrobe and carrying a bottle of champagne to share on the dressing room couch...

Put most men in those situations and I guarantee the number of "zippers up" will be depressingly small. Men are swine.


Keep telling yourself that that's how all men do/would behave.
 
2018-04-23 08:06:56 AM  

AirForceVet: I'm game.

/I like kids.


img.fark.netView Full Size


/I keed
 
2018-04-23 08:11:03 AM  

Shaggy_C: WegianWarrior: I'm willing to bet that most of us knows a lot of men who can keep their zippers up.

Yes, keep telling yourself that. It's a different world when you have that level of money; women actively throw themselves at you. You're at a party and go take a piss in the upstairs bathroom, and as you step back out into the hallway you find a supermodel-level babe completely nude and grabbing your crotch to guide you towards a bedroom. "Our secret" she laughs as she shuts the door. You are at the country club and having a post-round drink, and the cart girl comes to congratulate you on your great round with a smile you haven't seen from your wife in years. You head to the locker room to change and suddenly she pops up without a top on. Or you're backstage taping the Celebrity Apprentice and one of the hot female leads keep laughing at your jokes and while you're backstage packing up your stuff for the weekend, security opens the door and lets her slip in wearing nothing but her bathrobe and carrying a bottle of champagne to share on the dressing room couch...

Put most men in those situations and I guarantee the number of "zippers up" will be depressingly small. Men are swine.


Actually,

At that level of money any one with three neurons firing would realize that farking the help or some rando is not a good idea. A lot of men can keep their dick in their pants, because they think about the consequences.  The Trumps never had any.

I taught at a Colombian university where I had to rotate out of my regular teaching job to teach stewardesses and tv commentators English.  It was like being a candy store of beauty.  I got offers every day or invited out fo drinks or. "Can you come over to practice with me?"  I never did it because I liked my job, and I used to be the biggest dog on the planet.

You know what is sad though? When your only reason for being a player is because you have money and gold diggers want to suck up to you.

None of the Trumps have ever been incognito in a bar, club, shopping center, and have struck up a conversation out of the blue with someone without saying "I am a Trump."
 
2018-04-23 08:14:06 AM  

Felgraf: Keep telling yourself that that's how all men do/would behave.


Ok, I will? Notice I said nothing about the men's behaviour, only showed you the kinds of situations that money and desperation creates. I'm sure some broke men experience similar types of situations, but they need to be 10/10 on the looks scale and most Farkers aren't going to be able to relate.

Turbo Cojones: What are you talking about?  She looks perfectly..    OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!


They do say that after a long time together, spouses begin to look alike. I see a lot of The Donald in that orange, plastic face.
 
2018-04-23 08:19:10 AM  
I wonder how common it is for the men of their income strata to be unfaithful to their spouses (ie. compared to the general public)?  My gut feel is that it's par for the course.
 
2018-04-23 08:24:44 AM  

theflatline: None of the Trumps have ever been incognito in a bar, club, shopping center, and have struck up a conversation out of the blue with someone without saying "I am a Trump."


In fact, at their first social event didn't D2S deliberately repeat to Vanessa that Half Scoop was a Trump? Just so she'd know.  Gotta remind 'em.  Obviously he knew that the boy's pussy trolling skills were weak otherwise.
 
2018-04-23 08:25:53 AM  
Thanks a lot for the advice Ernest Borgnine in drag!
 
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