Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TC Palm)   Florida man asks one of the eternal questions of life: "What would happen if I stole some beer?"   ( tcpalm.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Vero Beach, Florida, Maxwell, Bud Light, Indian River County, Florida, Rolls Royce rental, law enforcement officer, Christopher Maxwell, Criminal law  
•       •       •

2965 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2018 at 6:50 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-04-16 03:38:22 PM  
Bud Light?

Look, I'm not a hardcore beer snob, but if you are going to steal beer in Florida, go with Cigar City Jai Alai IPA or Yeungling instead.
 
2018-04-16 03:54:35 PM  
I think the more important question is where he was able to get a haircut appointment at 2:30am.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 06:52:26 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 06:54:31 PM  

The_Sponge: Cigar City Jai Alai IPA


heck yes to this.


/I also loved that he was charged with two counts of battery against police AND resisting arrest.
//But mostly, because he took a "bladed stance"  ... ?
 
2018-04-16 06:56:24 PM  

The_Sponge: Bud Light?

Look, I'm not a hardcore beer snob, but if you are going to steal beer in Florida, go with Cigar City Jai Alai IPA or Yeungling instead.


I won't go to jail for anything less than craft beer.
 
2018-04-16 06:58:01 PM  
Wrong subby.  The correct "eternal" question is:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 07:01:11 PM  
depending on how you do it, you might have some free/stolen beer, but your chances of getting more start to drastically decrease with each attempt.
 
2018-04-16 07:01:45 PM  
What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?
 
2018-04-16 07:08:31 PM  
Florida man, Florida man
Steals some beer, in a can
What time is it? It's not important
Florida man
Is he a drunk, or is he a jerk?
Does he drink way too after work?
Oh work?  I must be outta my head?
Nobody knows, Florida man
 
2018-04-16 07:08:40 PM  
And he's still wondering.
 
2018-04-16 07:10:03 PM  

adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?


So glad you asked!

Watch as Gina learns from Tae Kwon Douglas.
 
2018-04-16 07:11:19 PM  

adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?


In the circles I frequent, a "Bladed Stance" would be better known as an "On guard, ready to fight" position.

Up on the balls of your feet, slightly turned away from opponent, leading with one side or the other to protect the center line.

Not something you should really try with a cop no matter what your skin color I would think.
 
2018-04-16 07:15:48 PM  

mekkab: adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?

So glad you asked!

Watch as Gina learns from Tae Kwon Douglas.


Thank you this lesson has made me feel safe again knowing i can blade stance
 
2018-04-16 07:17:05 PM  

Skyd1v: adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?

In the circles I frequent, a "Bladed Stance" would be better known as an "On guard, ready to fight" position.

Up on the balls of your feet, slightly turned away from opponent, leading with one side or the other to protect the center line.

Not something you should really try with a cop no matter what your skin color I would think.


20$ says he didn't drop the cases of beer and did a karate kid pose
 
2018-04-16 07:18:39 PM  

adj_m: Skyd1v: adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?

In the circles I frequent, a "Bladed Stance" would be better known as an "On guard, ready to fight" position.

Up on the balls of your feet, slightly turned away from opponent, leading with one side or the other to protect the center line.

Not something you should really try with a cop no matter what your skin color I would think.

20$ says he didn't drop the cases of beer and did a karate kid pose


Oh Lord I do hope you are right.

...and there is body/dash cam footage somewhere.
 
2018-04-16 07:26:06 PM  
The article didn't answer the most important question, is the beer safe?
 
2018-04-16 07:30:04 PM  

Burr: Wrong subby.  The correct "eternal" question is:

[img.fark.net image 425x256]


So Rowsdower, is that a stupid name? Or...
 
2018-04-16 07:30:34 PM  
$0.89 for a Bud Light?  That's robbery right there.
 
2018-04-16 07:47:18 PM  

adj_m: Skyd1v: adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?

In the circles I frequent, a "Bladed Stance" would be better known as an "On guard, ready to fight" position.

Up on the balls of your feet, slightly turned away from opponent, leading with one side or the other to protect the center line.

Not something you should really try with a cop no matter what your skin color I would think.

20$ says he didn't drop the cases of beer and did a karate kid pose


Put him in a bodybag, johnny!
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 07:47:32 PM  

baddecaf: $0.89 for a Bud Light?  That's robbery right there.


Are you a resident of Haiti?
 
2018-04-16 07:50:05 PM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: The article didn't answer the most important question, is the beer safe?


It is. Full of both Coors and Coors Light (thanks for farking up the river!), Keystone Light and Michelob Ultra.

static1.squarespace.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 07:54:20 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Burr: Wrong subby.  The correct "eternal" question is:

[img.fark.net image 425x256]

So Rowsdower, is that a stupid name? Or...


Is he a makeup-less clown?
 
2018-04-16 07:55:55 PM  

mekkab: The_Sponge: Cigar City Jai Alai IPA

heck yes to this.


/I also loved that he was charged with two counts of battery against police AND resisting arrest.
//But mostly, because he took a "bladed stance"  ... ?


It's impossible...or close to impossible if you want to get Cigar City beers in my state (WA).  When I was in Florida last December, I made sure to bring as much beer home as I could....without going over the weight limit for checked luggage.  My haul included cans of Jai Alai, and it was awesome seeing it for sale in grocery stores down there.
 
2018-04-16 08:01:24 PM  
Blue Laws

Gotta love those conservative counties man
 
2018-04-16 08:18:38 PM  

EyeHaveRisen: Blue Laws

Gotta love those conservative counties man


Unfortunately, I live in a blue state that has shiatty liquor laws and taxes.
 
2018-04-16 08:45:00 PM  
"Police encountered Maxwell about a quarter-mile away, at Indian River Boulevard and Martin Avenue."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 08:49:36 PM  

adj_m: mekkab: adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?

So glad you asked!

Watch as Gina learns from Tae Kwon Douglas.

Thank you this lesson has made me feel safe again knowing i can blade stance


 Yeah, but can you breakdance? That's the true measure of a man's will.
 
2018-04-16 10:58:52 PM  
There aren't enough opportunities to watch Steve on the Skyjack, so, here ya go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30InB​g​GhiSo
 
2018-04-16 11:11:55 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-17 12:43:02 AM  
Anybody else curious how the situation changes if he left enough cash to cover the beer.
 
2018-04-17 12:56:29 AM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: The article didn't answer the most important question, is the beer safe?


What beer?  He stole Bud Light.
 
2018-04-17 04:59:25 AM  
Where the hell were Cory and Trevor?
 
2018-04-17 05:27:49 AM  

GummyBearOverlord: Anybody else curious how the situation changes if he left enough cash to cover the beer.


I was wondering that as well.

If he was smart, which we can rule out, he could put the money on the counter, and tell the clerk to ring it up at 7AM. He wouldn't get change though. Hmm, so he should purchase something else, so that he'd have exact change.

If the beer was in a fridge, they ought to have a padlock on it.
 
2018-04-17 07:43:37 AM  

Burr: Wrong subby.  The correct "eternal" question is:

[img.fark.net image 425x256]


Came here for Rowsdower, leaving satisfied.
 
2018-04-17 10:55:24 AM  

adj_m: What the fark is a 'bladed stance'. Is that cop speak 'he should be glad he's not a minority'?


cdn-static.denofgeek.comView Full Size
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report