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(NYPost)   German doctor is charged with killing his lover by sprinkling cocaine on himself before having her perform oral sex, which gives a whole new meaning to "coke head"   ( nypost.com) divider line
    More: Sick, German doctor lover, oral sex, Sexual intercourse, consensual oral sex, Dr.Andreas Niederbichler, Hospital, Chief prosecutor Hal, Medicine  
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8423 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2018 at 2:29 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



97 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-04-16 12:11:04 AM  
We would have also accepted "blow job".
 
2018-04-16 12:55:15 AM  
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie,
Cockaine
 
2018-04-16 01:13:12 AM  
The jokes in this thread are going to be painfully bad.
 
2018-04-16 02:07:18 AM  
In the 80's this was called Tuesday.
 
2018-04-16 02:10:38 AM  
He tried giving her dick to mouth resuscitation, but it was just too late.
 
2018-04-16 02:34:31 AM  
I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?
 
2018-04-16 02:34:51 AM  
Ween - Put The Coke On My Dick
Youtube zpnAJ-zvHj8
NSFW lyrics
 
2018-04-16 02:35:23 AM  
How does that kill a person?  There's no way in hell I'm clicking the post to find out.
 
2018-04-16 02:36:14 AM  
TFA is from the NYP which is this side of the pond's Daily Fail, so now I doubt the existence of oral sex, cocaine, and Germans.
 
2018-04-16 02:37:18 AM  

crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?


Gosh you're innocent.
 
2018-04-16 02:37:22 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 02:38:26 AM  
Shame on you, Dr. Freud!
 
2018-04-16 02:38:42 AM  
He is also being quizzed for

Not questioned, quizzed.

1) The sex was concensual   True   False

2) Which substance did you put on your penis
a) peanut butter
b) chocolate syrup
c) cocaine
d) catnip

etc
 
2018-04-16 02:38:56 AM  
I like the lack of German source information.  It gives me warm feels right in the credibles.
 
2018-04-16 02:40:35 AM  

King Something: [img.fark.net image 850x637]


rs1197.pbsrc.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 02:41:03 AM  
"Cocaine".

/guess the spider was taking the quiz, too
 
2018-04-16 02:42:35 AM  
Grandmaster & Melle Mel - White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
Youtube Z49bfaXGX78

White Lines....Blow a way...
 
2018-04-16 02:43:10 AM  

crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?


Uuuhhhh. Your homework is to taste some cocaine. It very definitely has a synthetic taste to it. But synthetic is miles away from saying something tastes like gasoline or kerosene. But even if that WAS a reasonable basis for comparison I'm left to wonder just how many people have tasted kerosene to use that similarity as a warning?
 
2018-04-16 02:47:28 AM  
I thought Hugh Hefner died.
 
2018-04-16 02:49:27 AM  
Renegade Soundwave - Cocaine Sex (LP original)
Youtube Px9VWsSZYP0
 
2018-04-16 02:49:47 AM  

crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?


Nah but it does have a distinctive smell, kinda smells like ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS WE'RE CLEANING THE APARTMENT TODAY, PUT IT OFF WAY TOO LONG.
 
2018-04-16 02:50:23 AM  

BlazeTrailer: crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?

Uuuhhhh. Your homework is to taste some cocaine. It very definitely has a synthetic taste to it. But synthetic is miles away from saying something tastes like gasoline or kerosene. But even if that WAS a reasonable basis for comparison I'm left to wonder just how many people have tasted kerosene to use that similarity as a warning?


I read here that the more it smells like a petroleum product, the less cut it was since petroleum products are a popular choice as a solvent early in the process. I'm not going to go work for the cartels to find out for sure.
 
2018-04-16 02:53:14 AM  
This thread, so far:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 02:53:25 AM  

adj_m: crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?

Nah but it does have a distinctive smell, kinda smells like ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS WE'RE CLEANING THE APARTMENT TODAY, PUT IT OFF WAY TOO LONG.


BUT FIRST WE NEED TO GET MORE COKE
 
2018-04-16 02:54:21 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 02:59:24 AM  
See, what they say in the movies is never realistic.

memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-16 03:06:30 AM  

mr_larry: [img.fark.net image 425x326]


I dunno about that.  Errol Flynn supposedly used to do that.  Of course, he also asserted that when he was working at a sheep ranch in New Zealand, he would castrate the rams by biting their nuts off, so take what he says with a grain of salt.  Or a line of coke, whichever you prefer.
 
2018-04-16 03:13:38 AM  
Errol Flynn used to sprinkle cocaine onto his penis for the ladies' pleasure.

In Like Flynn, baby!
 
2018-04-16 03:40:50 AM  
As punishment he should be forced to buy us all enough cocaine to recreate the experience
 
2018-04-16 03:43:47 AM  
I just want to go on record as saying that guy looks like he would still be a virgin if he wasn't making doctor's pay.
 
2018-04-16 03:47:12 AM  
"Without her knowledge"
Bullshiat.
/also, I barely remember you Anne, but thank you for the times I do
 
2018-04-16 03:48:39 AM  

winedrinkingman: I just want to go on record as saying that guy looks like he would still be a virgin if he wasn't making doctor's pay.


To be fair, he must have a pretty huge dick if someone can OD one coke that was "sprinkled" on it.
 
2018-04-16 03:51:06 AM  

joepennerlives: mr_larry: [img.fark.net image 425x326]

I dunno about that.  Errol Flynn supposedly used to do that.  Of course, he also asserted that when he was working at a sheep ranch in New Zealand, he would castrate the rams by biting their nuts off, so take what he says with a grain of salt.  Or a line of coke, whichever you prefer.


TRUE STORY one of my high school ag teachers and a local 4H leader used to tell us that was how they did it in the old days. He claimed that somehow they healed up better if you bit them off which never made any sense to me and we all thought he was making it up to try and trick one of us into trying it out, especially as he used to dare kids to try and do it. The old men always took unholy glee in showing off the various castration devices, antique and modern, to the boys.
 
2018-04-16 03:54:21 AM  

Anastacya: The jokes in this thread are going to be painfully bad.


Need something to dull the pain, it is an oral analgesic, I forgot the name but its right on the tip of my...
 
2018-04-16 04:11:06 AM  

adj_m: Nah but it does have a distinctive smell, kinda smells like ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS WE'RE CLEANING THE APARTMENT TODAY, PUT IT OFF WAY TOO LONG.


*nods and takes notes*  And why isn't this distributed in every parenting center, college library, and home hardware store??
 
2018-04-16 04:14:59 AM  
ProTip: You're supposed to snort it off, not lick it off.
 
2018-04-16 04:16:24 AM  

crispy pizza: BlazeTrailer: crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?

Uuuhhhh. Your homework is to taste some cocaine. It very definitely has a synthetic taste to it. But synthetic is miles away from saying something tastes like gasoline or kerosene. But even if that WAS a reasonable basis for comparison I'm left to wonder just how many people have tasted kerosene to use that similarity as a warning?

I read here that the more it smells like a petroleum product, the less cut it was since petroleum products are a popular choice as a solvent early in the process. I'm not going to go work for the cartels to find out for sure.


Well and further, the more you smell it to rate its quality the less you are in position to be performing serious research
 
2018-04-16 04:20:18 AM  

crispy pizza: BlazeTrailer: crispy pizza: I thought coke had a distinct taste like gasoline or kerosene. How did she not smell/taste that shiat and be like WTF no?

Uuuhhhh. Your homework is to taste some cocaine. It very definitely has a synthetic taste to it. But synthetic is miles away from saying something tastes like gasoline or kerosene. But even if that WAS a reasonable basis for comparison I'm left to wonder just how many people have tasted kerosene to use that similarity as a warning?

I read here that the more it smells like a petroleum product, the less cut it was since petroleum products are a popular choice as a solvent early in the process. I'm not going to go work for the cartels to find out for sure.


Your mouth would go numb.  It's in the same family of some local anesthetics.

And no, no other local anesthetics in use today  get you high.
 
2018-04-16 04:24:49 AM  
Unless they had just been dusting some cakes in the kitchen, one would think she would notice.
 
2018-04-16 04:31:07 AM  
I was having sex with this woman, and my cock was so big it was hurting her, so she got a temporary restraining order to keep me away. The order came down just before I was about to climax, so of course I pulled out right away, leaving me with the most painful case of blue-balls I've ever had. I had heard that coke is an anesthetic, so I covered my dick with it and sure enough it solved the aching caused by the legal order. You might say it was a TRO-pain.
 
2018-04-16 04:38:31 AM  
In my day we called those 'gummers' and we liked it. That wasn't an onion on our belt, it was an 8 ball.
 
2018-04-16 05:15:20 AM  
I have vague memories of a joke about Sherlock boning Watson. This is a fragment.

Hickory dickory Doc
It's been three hours on the clock
Quite simple my Watson
A put cocaine on my cock
 
2018-04-16 05:44:20 AM  
The headcheese probably covered the smell and taste.
 
2018-04-16 06:10:47 AM  
Damn dude, you already had her sucking your dick, save your coke for yourself.
 
2018-04-16 06:26:50 AM  
E-40 - Sprinkle Me ft. Suga-T
Youtube byuQVTdlfos
 
2018-04-16 06:37:36 AM  
It's not possible to OD from an amount of cocaine that you wouldn't notice.
 
2018-04-16 06:49:36 AM  
But why? At least let them finish first, that's just asking for blue balls.
 
2018-04-16 06:51:09 AM  
I bet he has 8 balls
 
2018-04-16 07:06:24 AM  
Otherwise known as a "hum and coke".
 
2018-04-16 07:19:59 AM  
Pour some sugar on me...
 
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