Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Bloomberg)   Pasta? You're cooking it wrong. Che sei grullo?   ( bloomberg.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Tomato sauce, pasta, Cooking, pasta cooking, Water, pasta cooking water, expensive artisanal pasta, Boiling  
•       •       •

7258 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Apr 2018 at 1:33 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-04-15 10:52:26 AM  
the only problem I ever have with the way pasta is cooked is when it's overcooked to the point of being mushy.  Al dente is the way to go.
 
2018-04-15 10:55:36 AM  
The only problem I ever have with the way Pasta is cooked is when it falls through the grate onto the coals.
 
2018-04-15 11:09:16 AM  
No I don't. She even says so.
 
2018-04-15 11:18:28 AM  
I tried cooking pasta once but no matter how long I fried it it would never get soft.
 
2018-04-15 11:21:23 AM  
Apparently I'm some sort of pasta super genius.
 
2018-04-15 11:34:28 AM  
Nah, we know that stuff. We need someone to teach us how to make pasta from scratch so it doesn't turn into a sticky pile of mush before it even goes in the pot.
 
2018-04-15 11:41:27 AM  
#2 is #2.

Oil is used during boiling as a defoamer.  And oil is a piss poor defoamer.  Use a small pat of butter.

And if your defoamer is even noticeable, you're doing it wrong.
 
2018-04-15 11:49:21 AM  
My dad's family moved here from Sicily shortly before he was born. We were raised as an oddly Italian family in an area full of Polish and German folk. Family in Jersey would ship us things like olive oil, dried sausage or fish, imported pasta and other items not available in the Midwest. I'm pretty sure that despite the fact that I'm not following the arbitrary rules imposed by someone on the internets my pasta is just fine because I learned how from my mother.
Now if this internet expert wants to talk smack about my dear, sainted mother and her wonderful pasta, then Fredo ain't the only one going fishing today. Capisce?
 
2018-04-15 12:13:34 PM  
Saving some pasta water is good. Saving the whole pot? No.
 
2018-04-15 12:46:06 PM  

mainsail: Saving some pasta water is good. Saving the whole pot? No.


Seems inconvenient if you are using a very large pot and lots of water, as suggested. Just pull out a few ladles of water and put it in the pan you'll be mixing the pasta and sauce in. That's more than enough.
 
2018-04-15 01:13:11 PM  

Leandros A: Nah, we know that stuff. We need someone to teach us how to make pasta from scratch so it doesn't turn into a sticky pile of mush before it even goes in the pot.


Hel-lo
 
2018-04-15 01:14:12 PM  

TwoHead: oddly Italian family


It really only takes one Italian to infect the entire family.
 
2018-04-15 01:38:18 PM  
If there's a chef in the U.S. who can offer advice on the subject, it's Missy Robbins of Lilia in Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood.

And there's where I stopped reading. Any asshole can move to Williamsburg and open a cronut/pasta slop counter.
 
2018-04-15 01:38:37 PM  

flucto: TwoHead: oddly Italian family

It really only takes one Italian to infect the entire family.


You spelled infect wrong.
 
2018-04-15 01:39:26 PM  

TwoHead: My dad's family moved here from Sicily shortly before he was born. We were raised as an oddly Italian family in an area full of Polish and German folk. Family in Jersey would ship us things like olive oil, dried sausage or fish, imported pasta and other items not available in the Midwest. I'm pretty sure that despite the fact that I'm not following the arbitrary rules imposed by someone on the internets my pasta is just fine because I learned how from my mother.
Now if this internet expert wants to talk smack about my dear, sainted mother and her wonderful pasta, then Fredo ain't the only one going fishing today. Capisce?


I'm sure your pasta is wonderful but this is a weird way to evoke it. "Look my dad's family is Italian, but let's ignore that in this discussion on how to cook pasta. My non-Italian mother taught me how to cook real well!"
 
2018-04-15 01:39:43 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: #2 is #2.

Oil is used during boiling as a defoamer.  And oil is a piss poor defoamer.  Use a small pat of butter.

And if your defoamer is even noticeable, you're doing it wrong.


Can also put a wooden spoon in the water or a wooden clothespin on the side of the pan.
 
2018-04-15 01:43:14 PM  
"Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood...."

Stopped reading there. Pretentious white gentrified wanking.
 
2018-04-15 01:45:13 PM  
1. No I'm not.
2. Go fark yourself.
 
2018-04-15 01:46:15 PM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: "Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood...."

Stopped reading there. Pretentious white gentrified wanking.


Because white people don't know pasta? There is a woman here whose college roommate told her she wasn't white because she is Italian.
 
2018-04-15 01:46:49 PM  

flucto: I tried cooking pasta once but no matter how long I fried it it would never get soft.


Mine keeps catching fire on the grill.
 
2018-04-15 01:47:25 PM  

Leandros A: Nah, we know that stuff. We need someone to teach us how to make pasta from scratch so it doesn't turn into a sticky pile of mush before it even goes in the pot.


Dust it with corn starch as you roll it out and cut it; flour works okay too but corn starch works better at absorbing excess moisture and keeping the pasta from sticking to itself.  And you should use enough flour in the dough such that it has the consistency of Play-Doh before you shape it.
 
2018-04-15 01:48:14 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: Play-Doh


No
 
2018-04-15 01:48:37 PM  
Stormy Noodles' lawyer: #Pasta
 
2018-04-15 01:48:50 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: If there's a chef in the U.S. who can offer advice on the subject, it's Missy Robbins of Lilia in Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood.

And there's where I stopped reading. Any asshole can move to Williamsburg and open a cronut/pasta slop counter.


Wait... a jelly cronut stuffed with spaghetti-os? ME GUSTA

/not really
 
2018-04-15 01:49:40 PM  
Personally, I like using my old grade school art projects for my signature pasta.  Just chuck the whole piece of construction paper into a boiling pot of water.  When the glue holding the pieces on melts away it usually indicates it's fit to eat.  (Plus, if the pieces were painted before they were glued on, it makes the plating much more colorful.)
 
2018-04-15 01:54:00 PM  

OhioUGrad: Marcus Aurelius: #2 is #2.

Oil is used during boiling as a defoamer.  And oil is a piss poor defoamer.  Use a small pat of butter.

And if your defoamer is even noticeable, you're doing it wrong.

Can also put a wooden spoon in the water or a wooden clothespin on the side of the pan.


Earwax works great! Ask any bartender.
 
2018-04-15 01:55:30 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-15 01:58:47 PM  
I'm currently digesting pasta, so I'm getting a kick...

List was dumb/pretentious/obvious in turns, but the recommendation of De Cecco pasta is a good one. Slightly rough texture on the outside so it doesn't stick to itself in the pot.
 
2018-04-15 01:59:33 PM  
I like to boil pasta in olive oil before adding it to my chicago pineapple hot dog pizza and pouring a whole jar of ketchup on top.
 
2018-04-15 02:00:10 PM  
I usually just cook it until it's "All Done-tay" and it comes out fine.

Side note:  I'm cooking it tonight.  It's nice out, I think we'll dine outside, like Al Francesco always did.
 
2018-04-15 02:03:32 PM  
Maybe I read too fast, but I didn't see anything about salting the water and reserving the pasta water.
 
2018-04-15 02:04:05 PM  
"Use a lot of water, but don't throw out the starchy water....oh" this article
 
2018-04-15 02:04:24 PM  
Also:

1. Obvious, we've heard it before, ad nauseum.
2. Obvious, we've heard it before, ad nauseum.
3. Stupid, use a colander unless you actually have a need to save the cooking water. You're at home, not at a "pasta destination" restaurant. For most pastas, you've salted that water, as well, so keep that in mind if you plan on cooking with it. Some pots have a basket insert because it's unsafe to move that much boiling water in a line kitchen and, if you're not making restaurant-sized quantities of pasta, chances are you won't be using that water again for pasta in any case.
4. There's a big difference between preference and technique. I didn't ask you what you liked - I asked you "am I cooking pasta wrong?" That is the farking point of the article, after all.
5. No, you really shouldn't, as it depends largely on the sauce, the pasta, and the dish. Unilaterally stating something that isn't unilaterally true is the hallmark of someone you probably don't want to ask for advice. Only a Sith chef cooks in absolutes.
6. Again, there's a big difference between preference and technique. If the dish calls for lots of sauce, use lots of sauce. If not, don't. Again, if you utter unilateral bullshiat, expect folks to unilaterally treat you like an idiot.
7. See 3 and 6, above. The author really can't separate opinion from fact.
8. Don't hoist a strawman, then knock it down and proclaim yourself a champion. I've never heard anyone say "pasta is just for cold weather," not with all of the spring & summer pasta salad recipes floating around out there.
9. See 3, 6, and 7, above. It obviously depends on the amount of leftovers, and what you've done with them.

Let's face it, if I was going to ask someone about pasta, it wouldn't be some Jenny-come-lately that had been pushed by Bloomberg in the past and had nothing like, say, a Michelin star with which to recommend them as an expert on the subject.

Seriously, this was just an excuse for Bloomberg to push a bunch of links for some of their other content, while name-dropping Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, into an article that doesn't involve yet another goddamned financial or political disaster.
 
2018-04-15 02:05:30 PM  

serpent_sky: mainsail: Saving some pasta water is good. Saving the whole pot? No.

Seems inconvenient if you are using a very large pot and lots of water, as suggested. Just pull out a few ladles of water and put it in the pan you'll be mixing the pasta and sauce in. That's more than enough.


Turns out, #1 is wrong. It doesn't need to be cooked in a big pot. Lower amounts of water also concentrate the starch in the cooking water meaning that the part you reserve for the sauce is even better.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.seri​o​useats.com/amp/2010/05/how-to-cook-pas​ta-salt-water-boiling-tips-the-food-la​b.html
 
2018-04-15 02:06:24 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Maybe I read too fast, but I didn't see anything about salting the water and reserving the pasta water.


It told you not to use a colander but it didn't say why. Guess they realized the point of saving the super starchy water was moot when they told you to use a bunch of water to cook the pasta back in step 1.
 
2018-04-15 02:07:02 PM  
Thank Christ these articles exist.  I had no idea how many things I was doing 100% wrong according to the internet.  Cooking pasta, cooking eggs, cleaning the bathroom, driving my car, showering, brushing my teeth, buying damn near anything.  Hell, according to these articles I even sleep wrong.

//Thank you random internet "journalists" for saving me from myself.
 
2018-04-15 02:08:17 PM  

darthstormer: Thank Christ these articles exist.  I had no idea how many things I was doing 100% wrong according to the internet.  Cooking pasta, cooking eggs, cleaning the bathroom, driving my car, showering, brushing my teeth, buying damn near anything.  Hell, according to these articles I even sleep wrong.

//Thank you random internet "journalists" for saving me from myself.


Have you heard how you're also pooping wrong?
 
2018-04-15 02:13:15 PM  

Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: the only problem I ever have with the way pasta is cooked is when it's overcooked to the point of being mushy.  Al dente is the way to go.


img.fark.netView Full Size
Such a bold, iconoclastic position to take.
 
2018-04-15 02:15:18 PM  
Here's why you're telling me I'm doing it wrong wrong.

1. You use a small pot. Yes I do and it's worked fine my whole life
2. You add oil to your cooking water. No I don't
3. You grab a colander. Unless the recipe calls for it, I have no reason to save any of the water. If I do, I scoop some water out with a measuring cup first
4. You discriminate against the classics.  I prefer regular spaghetti or linguine - $1 box of Barilla FTW
5. You pour sauce on top.Sometimes I do both mixed in and on top. [stoplikingwhatIdontlike.jpg]
6. And you use too much sauce. I like lots of sauce [stoplikingwhatIdontlike.jpg]
7. You believe pasta belongs on a plate. Depends on what else is going with it. Pasta alone, bowl. But I'm not dirtying an extra dish just because you think it's better served in a separate bowl for some reason
8. You think pasta is just for cold weather. Who thinks this? I've never met anyone that does.
9. You throw out the leftovers. No, I don't, if I even have any. I don't usually make more than I can eat in one meal. That's wasteful
 
2018-04-15 02:15:54 PM  
Am I cooking pasta wrong? Well, I'm not an Italian grandmother, so I suppose it's possible.

Is Bloomberg the source that tell's me I'm wrong and show me the right way?

No.
 
2018-04-15 02:16:16 PM  
Stuff you, I'll eat the way I like.
 
2018-04-15 02:19:34 PM  

J.R. 'Bob' Chinaski: darthstormer: Thank Christ these articles exist.  I had no idea how many things I was doing 100% wrong according to the internet.  Cooking pasta, cooking eggs, cleaning the bathroom, driving my car, showering, brushing my teeth, buying damn near anything.  Hell, according to these articles I even sleep wrong.

//Thank you random internet "journalists" for saving me from myself.

Have you heard how you're also pooping wrong?


What?  NO!  And I'm pooping right now!  Yeah, I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.
 
2018-04-15 02:20:26 PM  

flucto: I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: "Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood...."

Stopped reading there. Pretentious white gentrified wanking.

Because white people don't know pasta? There is a woman here whose college roommate told her she wasn't white because she is Italian.


I've had multiple people straight up ask me if Greeks are white.
 
2018-04-15 02:21:49 PM  
And before someone jumps on the "Michelin star" comment, a bit of research is fun. The site for her restaurant makes a slightly disingenuous claim:

Missy returned to New York in fall of 2008 to be the Executive Chef of A Voce Madison and A Voce Columbus. While there she maintained Michelin stars at both locations for the entirety of her tenure and also was honored to be one of Food and Wine Magazine's Best New Chefs in 2010.

Keep in mind that:
- A Voce Columbus earned its first Michelin star in 2007. before her tenure, and actually lost its Michelin star in 2009. A Voce Madison didn't earn a Michelin star until 2011. Both restaurants lost their stars in 2015, and both closed in 2017.
- Her current restaurant does not have a Michelin star.

So, yeah, I'll stand by my snark.
 
2018-04-15 02:23:18 PM  
The war on Pastafaranity continues.
 
2018-04-15 02:23:59 PM  
Yea that's all way too much effort for me.

Jar of sauce and frozen meatballs in a slow cooker, noodles boiled in whatever pot is clean and then into the colander, then into a stir fry dish, then sauce on top.

Voilà!
 
2018-04-15 02:25:09 PM  

flucto: I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: "Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood...."

Stopped reading there. Pretentious white gentrified wanking.

Because white people don't know pasta? There is a woman here whose college roommate told her she wasn't white because she is Italian.


No, it's because the damn hipsters that took over a traditionally Hasidic neighborhood don't know pasta.  You want to learn pasta?  Go talk to one of the little old ladies out of Bensonhurst or Bay Ridge.
 
2018-04-15 02:25:49 PM  
I like my pasta slightly over-boiled in water using sea salt - and tons of it. I also put a little oil in the water and use a pan that's 'way too big' (there's only myself to cater for) meanwhile, I've got mushroom soup on standby - I hate sauces - soup is where it's at - instant soups preferably. add a little salt & garlic to it = perfect.
grate half a ton of cheese. cheese goes with anything pasta. I only have myself to cater for, so I tend to go a little bit overboard with the cheese (and it's GOT to be a seriously strong cheddar, or forget the whole meal with the pasta and mushroom soup - if you can't get that holy trinity of pasta, soup, & cheese - don't bother.) and no - not that blue veined cheese. that's only good for making into a sauce and topping a burger with.
drop the slightly overcooked pasta into the soup - mix. add some salt. mix. add a little more salt. done. pile cheese as high as possible. if you're not using a dish - forget it - grab a BIG dish.
take a fork to it and enjoy every single mouthful there is. it won't kill you, but also, you're going to feel full - which is a good thing. nothing wrong with comfort food. sometimes, I throw in some Quorn vegan pieces (allergic to animal body parts in my damned food... it sux, but, that's how it is here. meat-free.)
but tonight, I'm going to be having hot buttered cheese scones. because.
 
2018-04-15 02:25:56 PM  
In fact, it's kind of fun to follow a bit of A Voce's decline and fall, as she doesn't really make mention of the fact that A Voce's sales had been in decline since 2011 and that she bailed in 2013. Oddly, it almost sounds like she might be a good fit for the Kushner & Trump crowd...
 
2018-04-15 02:26:40 PM  
Just don't store it too close to the anti-pasta
 
Displayed 50 of 120 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report