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(Metro)   You're naked and need help with the sex toy stuck in your backside. Naturally, your best course of action is to head to the nearest gas station (possible NSFW content on page)   ( metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, petrol station, Dildo, English-language films, Emergency medical services, petrol station forecourt, Buenos Aires Province, Emergency medical technician, Sex toys  
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10458 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2018 at 3:05 PM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-04-11 02:47:18 PM  
LUBE CENTER.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.
 
2018-04-11 02:53:05 PM  
Where the hell did he find a full service station?
 
2018-04-11 02:57:31 PM  
After picking the kids up from school. I'm not a monster.
 
2018-04-11 02:58:56 PM  
Drugs and/or alcohol may have been involved.
 
2018-04-11 02:58:59 PM  
His about we label an auto play video about sex toys
 
2018-04-11 03:03:43 PM  
Million-to-one shot, doc.  Million-to-one.
 
2018-04-11 03:06:37 PM  
Was the alleged dildo keeping in from slipping on a pair of shorts? What the hell dildo dude, have some dignity!
 
2018-04-11 03:06:54 PM  

optikeye: Where the hell did he find a full service station?


You have to go to the bad part of town to get that kind of service where I live.
 
2018-04-11 03:07:28 PM  
Reports suggest the man was taken away from the scene in the ambulance to have the alleged dildo inside his anus removed.

It's always an dildo not his/hers dildo and it's never confirmed as an dildo until police officially charge it.
 
2018-04-11 03:07:52 PM  
Tut tut it looks like rain
 
2018-04-11 03:08:27 PM  

MrBallou: optikeye: Where the hell did he find a full service station?

You have to go to the bad best part of town to get that kind of service where I live.


FTFY
 
2018-04-11 03:08:32 PM  
Assumed the answer would be to post your conundrum on Fark and ask for help.
 
2018-04-11 03:08:47 PM  
I was thirsty and you gave me drink....I was hungry and you fed me...I was naked and had a...

Nah. Not going there. Too close to hell for me.
 
2018-04-11 03:09:18 PM  
anything is if you're brave enough
 
2018-04-11 03:11:05 PM  
 The guy at the station took one look at it and proclaimed " It's got a big crack down the middle. I can't help you, you need the autobody shop round the corner."
 
2018-04-11 03:11:07 PM  
System of Emergency Medical Attention (SAME)

I think you mean SEMA.
 
2018-04-11 03:11:14 PM  
This thread is worthless without pictures X-Rays

(NSFW)

https://www.elitedaily.com/humor/webs​i​te-compiles-x-rays-things-stuck-people​s-butts/927393

i.imgflip.comView Full Size


/butt stuff trifecta in play.
 
2018-04-11 03:11:30 PM  
D)  Keep pushing until it comes out the other end.
 
2018-04-11 03:12:28 PM  

ChipNASA: This thread is worthless without pictures X-Rays

(NSFW)
https://www.elitedaily.com/humor/websi​te-compiles-x-rays-things-stuck-people​s-butts/927393

[i.imgflip.com image 500x437]

/butt stuff trifecta in play.


Gotta like a good Foreign Body In Rectum x-ray. Livens up any slow ER shift.
 
2018-04-11 03:12:46 PM  
Haha what kind of person ends up in situations like that? Because that's totally not a situation I've ever been in.

/Embracing the Farkie
 
2018-04-11 03:12:59 PM  

Fano: Tut tut it looks like rain


img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:13:20 PM  

optikeye: Where the hell did he find a full service station?


Most full service stations won't even check the oil anymore.
 
2018-04-11 03:14:26 PM  
Not a huge fan of Howard Stern but one day coming home from work with a co-worker, I was in his car and he had the show on. WNBC..

Howard was talking to a health worker over at Riker's island.

Howard: So, tell me what's the weirdest stuff you find up people's butts?

The list was impressive.
 
2018-04-11 03:14:36 PM  
More than 30 years later and they're still taking the Falklands War loss pretty hard, I see.
 
2018-04-11 03:15:40 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Well, there's your problem...it's  your exhaust.
 
2018-04-11 03:16:39 PM  
alicia-logic.comView Full Size


Don't touch it! It's evil!!!!!
 
2018-04-11 03:16:42 PM  
Isn't that part of the body literally built for expelling things?  Why would you need help?
 
2018-04-11 03:16:58 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:17:28 PM  

MrBallou: optikeye: Where the hell did he find a full service station?

You have to go to the bad part of town to get that kind of service where I live.


Help might be closer than you think.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:18:43 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:21:18 PM  

Ambivalence: Exhibitionism may have been involved.


FTFY
 
2018-04-11 03:22:13 PM  
Sigh. Why is it always a dude?
 
2018-04-11 03:22:22 PM  

wildbill0712: Assumed the answer would be to post your conundrum on Fark and ask for help.


Ahhh, I'll always remember.  I was here live on Fark for the legendary thread when the guy got his ballsack caught in the slats of a wooden chair and he asked us for advice...   Good Times, Good Times..
 
2018-04-11 03:22:27 PM  

Bowen: System of Emergency Medical Attention (SAME)

I think you mean SEMA.


El Sistema de Atención Médica de Emergencias.

/El is Spanish for the.
 
2018-04-11 03:22:59 PM  
This is the oil change place near my house....

img.fark.netView Full Size


Notice how the older, more seasoned Lube Boy is behind the younger catamite Lube Boy, guiding his hand, teaching him the proper lubing technique.

 It's quality training like this that must be handed down in traditional methods.
 
2018-04-11 03:23:01 PM  
If it was a windshield wiper the service station won't touch it.
 
2018-04-11 03:23:17 PM  
To be fair, their new emergency number isn't very user friendly.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:24:46 PM  
let's be honest, who hasn't had this happen at one time or another.

I mean if I had a nickel...
 
2018-04-11 03:24:52 PM  
It's true, Subby. Any problem a gas station can not solve can be solved by a phonecall from a gas station.
 
2018-04-11 03:25:33 PM  

Snarfangel: To be fair, their new emergency number isn't very user friendly.
[img.fark.net image 850x478]


3
 
2018-04-11 03:25:38 PM  

BullBearMS: MrBallou: optikeye: Where the hell did he find a full service station?

You have to go to the bad part of town to get that kind of service where I live.

Help might be closer than you think.

[img.fark.net image 650x836]


Two voteys. NO COMMENT.
 
2018-04-11 03:25:53 PM  

remus: wildbill0712: Assumed the answer would be to post your conundrum on Fark and ask for help.

Ahhh, I'll always remember.  I was here live on Fark for the legendary thread when the guy got his ballsack caught in the slats of a wooden chair and he asked us for advice...   Good Times, Good Times..


I was as well.

For anyone who doesn't know about bigz2k's nutsack

https://www.fark.com/comments/2018473​/​Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-scared​-Help-Details-In-thread#new

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:27:11 PM  
I just wanna see someone else try it first. Now that I have....
 
2018-04-11 03:27:24 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [img.fark.net image 425x425]


I never knew that H.R. Giger designed consumer products but it makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.
 
2018-04-11 03:28:28 PM  

DeadGeek: Snarfangel: To be fair, their new emergency number isn't very user friendly.
[img.fark.net image 850x478]

3


Now you see the problem.
 
2018-04-11 03:28:46 PM  
Actual sign seen at a Jiffy Lube somewhere in central PA on my way to Jim Thorpe:

TUESDAY NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT!
 
2018-04-11 03:29:38 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:30:04 PM  
Earlier that day.....

"I'm NOT gonna pay a lot for this muffler!"

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:30:52 PM  
artsology.comView Full Size
 
2018-04-11 03:34:07 PM  
Rectum For A Heavyweight.
 
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