Yeah, this is fake. Some "reporter" with writer's block watching The Little Rascals reruns while high.

BadReligion: Worthless without pics...

The security camera inside the store wasn't working, but the outside camera captured the getaway vehicle...

When I was in high school, my best friend had an older brother who was of age and would buy us beer. Before he would do it though, he made us swear to never rat him out if we ever got busted. He went as far as making us memorize a cover story, whereby we obtained the beer with the help of a kindly over-the-road trucker named Hank, that we had met at the truck stop outside of town two weeks prior and hadn't seen since. He traded us the beer in exchange for us power washing his trailer. His plates were from Mississippi, but we didn't remember the number. He told us he had a favorable route hauling beer from Canada to California and fruit from California to Canada, so he never had to "deadhead." We thought that meant something about The Grateful Dead, but he laughed and told us, no, that was when you didn't have a return load after reaching your outbound destination, which was an inefficient way to run a trucking business. Last time we saw him, he was heading west at a legal rate of speed.

Only had to use the story twice.