Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SETI)   Scientists say space aliens could hack our planet, ask for help moving funds for a prince from Alpha Centauri   ( seti.org) divider line
    More: Scary, space aliens, SETI, Computer, Astrophysicists Michael Hippke, Personal computer, Extraterrestrial life, real compatibility problem, odious aliens  
•       •       •

960 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Mar 2018 at 10:51 AM (38 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-17 07:23:28 AM  
That's always been easy for them; the most difficult part is passing for human.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 07:25:58 AM  
Whatever. Just give Jeff Goldblum a new Macbook.

cdn2.expertreviews.co.ukView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 08:11:33 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 09:14:00 AM  
Oh.  My.  God.

That article is the worst piece of sensationalist tripe that I have read in a long time.  Hack the planet by a virus? Seriously?

Astrophysicists should not try to IT.
 
2018-03-17 09:20:14 AM  
Follow the quatloos.
 
2018-03-17 10:59:16 AM  
media.ebaumsworld.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 11:00:32 AM  

RJReves: [img.fark.net image 423x176]


never forget: the space people r evil and violent. humans r the opposite. now repeat to yourself 10 times a day for the rest of ur natural life.
 
2018-03-17 11:12:50 AM  
We're safe as long as they keep using just OSX
 
2018-03-17 11:14:19 AM  
This is... I mean the farking journalist who was told to write this shiat up managed to knock down those "concerns."

Who at SETI is responsible for this crap? They can't even manage a good Daily Fail level sensationalist clickbaut article. At least I'll click on a DF link if the headline seems like it could be amusing. This was basically their own writer snarking on concerns he was handed to dress up.

Hacking the planet, BTW, is different than hacking our systems. Hacking the planet would be something like causing the moon to accelerate away from the earth disrupting the surface conditions here or somehow affecting the local magnetic or gravity fields. The concerned "scientist" is talking about hacking human systems. Which wouldn't even be impressive since we have that down cold.
 
2018-03-17 11:15:08 AM  

Linux_Yes: RJReves: [img.fark.net image 423x176]

never forget: the space people r evil and violent. humans r the opposite. now repeat to yourself 10 times a day for the rest of ur natural life.


Not evil, just devious..

files.explosm.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 11:31:07 AM  
Scientists, or computer scientists?
 
2018-03-17 11:34:12 AM  

pup.socket: Scientists, or computer scientists?


Boffins, actually.
 
2018-03-17 11:40:44 AM  

RJReves: pup.socket: Scientists, or computer scientists?

Boffins, actually.


Boffins, actually, are the guys we'll throw at them in hopes of discovering something useful.

I look forward to that day of their sacrifice.
 
2018-03-17 11:48:35 AM  
The only thing I want is matter replication... and a Marvel symbiote.
 
2018-03-17 11:50:50 AM  

RJReves: pup.socket: Scientists, or computer scientists?

Boffins, actually.


Boffins of the ElReg definition?
 
2018-03-17 11:51:52 AM  
Hopefully, it's just the computers that they hack:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 12:00:12 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 12:07:44 PM  
The trick with any malware is to get the user to load it themselves. A Turing machine is a Turing machine anywhere in the universe, so if nothing else they could send us some insanely complex mathematical description (portable code, as it were) and somebody would try implementing it.
 
2018-03-17 12:10:56 PM  
Another example might be the "Interoceter" from "This Island Earth." or "The Machine" from "Contact." We didn't know what it did, but we built it anyway.
 
2018-03-17 12:11:01 PM  
Nice try, aliens.  I already completed the Hunter-Seeker Algorithm secret project so my bases are immune to probe team hacks.
 
2018-03-17 01:04:14 PM  
Why bother? What would be the point? To harvest our resources? There are vast, easily (for advanced, spare-faring beings) harvested mineral resources/water/hydrogen/etc. just lying around all over the universe. There's nothing particularly special about Earth, and in a universe that theoretically has forms of life advanced enough to cross the galaxy, there's nothing particularly special about us as a species. I doubt that a bunch of shaved monkeys with relatively primitive technology would be of particular interest to an advanced being. Infiltrating our government, hacking our computer systems, etc. just seems like a complete waste of time for a civilization that has advanced to the point that they can travel the universe. If they simply wanted to harvest us for use as food, slaves, entertainment, etc., (and why would a species with advanced technology need slaves anyways?), they could swoop down in the middle of some remote, third-world shiathole and scoop up as many as they want with minimal resistance. Hell, just dropping into orbit and zapping our satellites would practically paralyze every modern military on the planet. Believing that we are even worth the trouble of subjugating seems like the height of arrogance to me.
 
2018-03-17 01:27:36 PM  
Any aliens that have figured out interstellar travel would look on Earth as a zoo filled with particularly violent animals. If we're lucky they might be interested in our primitive art.
 
2018-03-17 01:51:41 PM  
Difficulty: there are only 55 stars within 15 light years.  With a thirty-year round trip to study our systems and inject an attack, you might come up with something like the Morris worm (which basically took out  the entire internet, but isn't a current threat now).  There are 10 stars within 10 light years which could presumably send a deadly variant of the Melissa virus (and find out who is still using XP).

Basically you are looking at some guys who are completely embarrassing themselves.  I will admit that as time passes, there will exist security holes that go back even more decades (a pentium pro [1995] has issues with spectre), but the chance of an extraterrestrial attack containing one should be zilch.  I've heard the idea that "all the world is a Vax x86" but it is a stretch to assume that "all the galaxy uses x86".
/it would be zero if modern systems were sane about the difference between data and executables
//alas, Microsoft trained an entire industry to ignore security
///and Android has further shown how to be even worse
 
2018-03-17 02:19:03 PM  

maxheck: Another example might be the "Interoceter" from "This Island Earth." or "The Machine" from "Contact." We didn't know what it did, but we built it anyway.


Or they could have some adolescent boys build it.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 02:50:55 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Hopefully, it's just the computers that they hack:

[img.fark.net image 425x249]


Saw that yesterday. Was good but can understand why a bunch of people didn't see it on the big screen.

/the bear was actually scary
 
2018-03-17 02:56:31 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-17 03:01:30 PM  

mod3072: Why bother? What would be the point? To harvest our resources? There are vast, easily (for advanced, spare-faring beings) harvested mineral resources/water/hydrogen/etc. just lying around all over the universe. There's nothing particularly special about Earth, and in a universe that theoretically has forms of life advanced enough to cross the galaxy, there's nothing particularly special about us as a species. I doubt that a bunch of shaved monkeys with relatively primitive technology would be of particular interest to an advanced being. Infiltrating our government, hacking our computer systems, etc. just seems like a complete waste of time for a civilization that has advanced to the point that they can travel the universe. If they simply wanted to harvest us for use as food, slaves, entertainment, etc., (and why would a species with advanced technology need slaves anyways?), they could swoop down in the middle of some remote, third-world shiathole and scoop up as many as they want with minimal resistance. Hell, just dropping into orbit and zapping our satellites would practically paralyze every modern military on the planet. Believing that we are even worth the trouble of subjugating seems like the height of arrogance to me.


shhhhhh!!  damit keep it on the downlow. we want the space people to think we're the only planet with ample saltwater so we can clean up on the price we'll charge. u have to think long term if u want to stay in control of the market.
there is a planet made largely of diamond so we already lost that market.
 
2018-03-17 03:04:29 PM  

mod3072: Why bother? What would be the point? To harvest our resources? There are vast, easily (for advanced, spare-faring beings) harvested mineral resources/water/hydrogen/etc. just lying around all over the universe. There's nothing particularly special about Earth, and in a universe that theoretically has forms of life advanced enough to cross the galaxy, there's nothing particularly special about us as a species. I doubt that a bunch of shaved monkeys with relatively primitive technology would be of particular interest to an advanced being. Infiltrating our government, hacking our computer systems, etc. just seems like a complete waste of time for a civilization that has advanced to the point that they can travel the universe. If they simply wanted to harvest us for use as food, slaves, entertainment, etc., (and why would a species with advanced technology need slaves anyways?), they could swoop down in the middle of some remote, third-world shiathole and scoop up as many as they want with minimal resistance. Hell, just dropping into orbit and zapping our satellites would practically paralyze every modern military on the planet. Believing that we are even worth the trouble of subjugating seems like the height of arrogance to me.


hard to imagine homo sapiens being arrogant and self centered.
they're the center of the universe you know
star wars said so!
 
2018-03-17 03:05:49 PM  

Duke of Madness Motors: Any aliens that have figured out interstellar travel would look on Earth as a zoo filled with particularly violent animals. If we're lucky they might be interested in our primitive art.


planet of the apes is us. giggle
 
2018-03-17 03:10:16 PM  

Dr. Nick Riviera: Nice try, aliens.  I already completed the Hunter-Seeker Algorithm secret project so my bases are immune to probe team hacks.


All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
 
2018-03-17 03:58:20 PM  

Gordon Bennett: maxheck: Another example might be the "Interoceter" from "This Island Earth." or "The Machine" from "Contact." We didn't know what it did, but we built it anyway.

Or they could have some adolescent boys build it.

[img.fark.net image 800x1200]


That third kid got shafted by that poster.
 
2018-03-17 04:21:22 PM  
How is this a surprise? Am I like the only FARKer that actually read through the entire Sprawl Trilogy? Did everyone else just give up halfway through 'Count Zero', or something?
 
2018-03-17 08:26:09 PM  
This article made me think that when aliens come here we'll be farked in the ass, then I remembered all the anal probing and realized OMG, it's already happened!
 
2018-03-17 08:46:17 PM  
'Scientists'.  Article needed to add that.
 
2018-03-17 11:11:16 PM  
"Do this for us, or we'll make your sun go supernova and destroy Earth."

img.fark.netView Full Size


Your species is so paranoid.
 
2018-03-18 12:49:25 AM  
I hope the anal probes tickle.
 
Displayed 36 of 36 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report