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(NBC Washington)   Look we've all got our kinks, and far be it for us to judge, but if you DO have a hot date that's going to involve condoms and oatmeal, maybe you BUY it rather than shoplifting it from the Walmart where you are working in "loss prevention", Officer   ( nbcwashington.com) divider line
    More: Ironic, Jose A. Barahona, Theft, Montgomery County, Maryland, Police, Security, Walmart loss prevention, off-duty security job, Maryland police officer  
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2756 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2018 at 3:05 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-03-13 03:12:52 PM  
7 votes:

slackananda: [img.fark.net image 500x627]


All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, loss-prevention officers get access to more top-shelf grocery productsthan you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Walmart Corporation will last you a lifetime.
2018-03-13 03:21:31 PM  
6 votes:
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have used "Like a condom full of oatmeal" as my "body type" description on my dating profile.
2018-03-13 02:58:54 PM  
5 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-03-13 03:17:00 PM  
4 votes:
I've always wondered about the creepy smile on the face of that guy on the Quaker oats box.
2018-03-13 03:13:26 PM  
4 votes:

IDisposable: Safe sex, followed by breakfast the next morning?  That doesn't sound especially weird, subby.

I mean, I seriously doubt he is going to cook the oatmeal, stuff the cooked oatmeal into a condom, and then pleasure himself American Pie style.

(On second thought, maybe that's exactly what he is going to do.)


OK Mr Oatmeal Dick.
2018-03-13 03:10:44 PM  
4 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-03-13 03:58:14 PM  
3 votes:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: The last time I was in Walmart, I saw a very unfortunate looking woman with an average but very uncomfortable looking man carrying a pregnancy test.

Sooner or later the person at the register is going to find out he hit that.


Sowing one's oats doesn't involve actual oatmeal.
2018-03-13 03:19:44 PM  
3 votes:

steklo: I see nothing odd about buying oatmeal and condoms at the same time. Quite often when I buy condoms, I'm at the store getting other items too.


Either that or I grab a couple impulse items since the condoms are never anywhere near the entrance to the store.

"remember, he likes the Magnums but not the one with lube, he gets itchy, ooh, French fries, I can't remember if there's any more in the freezer, do we need creamer?"
2018-03-13 05:00:24 PM  
2 votes:

steklo: I see nothing odd about buying oatmeal and condoms at the same time. Quite often when I buy condoms, I'm at the store getting other items too.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
OOF
2018-03-13 09:58:02 PM  
1 vote:

robodog: OOF: [img.fark.net image 288x162]

Wtf internet why is that a thing? I mean a condom, a speculum, and oatmeal?!?


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-03-13 05:46:03 PM  
1 vote:
First he goes to quake her.
Then he goes for the Quaker.
OOF
2018-03-13 03:43:00 PM  
1 vote:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-03-13 03:23:59 PM  
1 vote:

Me_Too_I_Ate_One_Too: Well I did put oatmeal in a sock then take it into the bath with me yesterday.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
2018-03-13 03:20:00 PM  
1 vote:
Well I did put oatmeal in a sock then take it into the bath with me yesterday.
2018-03-13 03:19:27 PM  
1 vote:

steklo: I see nothing odd about buying oatmeal and condoms at the same time. Quite often when I buy condoms, I'm at the store getting other items too.


like a bellaclava?
2018-03-13 03:12:32 PM  
1 vote:
Safe sex, followed by breakfast the next morning?  That doesn't sound especially weird, subby.

I mean, I seriously doubt he is going to cook the oatmeal, stuff the cooked oatmeal into a condom, and then pleasure himself American Pie style.

(On second thought, maybe that's exactly what he is going to do.)
 
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