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(Lifehacker)   Lifehack: How to poop when you're traveling   ( lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Polyethylene glycol, entirely different gut, Laxative, normal gut activity, NYU Langone Health, Dr. Brooke Gurland, Constipation, microbiologist Elizabeth Bik  
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9742 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2018 at 4:57 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-03-12 07:31:26 PM  
Step 1: Sit down
Step 2: ??
Step 3: Profit?
 
2018-03-12 07:36:08 PM  
Yeah... that isn't an issue
 
2018-03-12 07:40:14 PM  
I prefer to stop before pooping, but maybe that's just me.
 
2018-03-12 07:40:53 PM  
Not in your pants
 
2018-03-12 07:51:50 PM  
Find some dahl soup.

/goes right through me
 
2018-03-12 08:15:21 PM  
My partner always gets backed up when we travel. At a wayside rest on I-94 in MN, he overflowed two toilets. There was no plunger. Outside there were two employees shooting the breeze. They had no idea what was waiting for them.
 
2018-03-12 08:20:55 PM  
Is this where we are with "lifehacks" now?

Abrupt changes to your diet and routine can lead to constipation.  Lifehack: minimize abrupt changes to your diet and routine.
 
2018-03-12 08:33:13 PM  
What a crap article.
 
2018-03-12 08:44:15 PM  
I just open my arse and it falls out.
 
2018-03-12 08:48:56 PM  

RJReves: What a crap article.


Too anal for you?
 
2018-03-12 09:19:54 PM  
I admit I get pretty backed up when I fly. I think it has something to do with the pressure changes, honestly. Driving long distances doesn't bother me, diet changing or not changing doesn't bother me, but I hop on a flight for even an hour and I'm all messed up for 2 days.
 
2018-03-12 09:28:40 PM  
A 20oz ribeye and a few immodium.
 
2018-03-12 09:42:42 PM  

Ken S.: RJReves: What a crap article.

Too anal for you?


The author is full of shiat.
 
2018-03-12 10:49:42 PM  
Shiat while you're on holiday... It's defecation of a lifetime!!
 
2018-03-12 10:51:04 PM  
"The world is divided into those who can shiat and those who cannot." --- Gabriel García Márquez , Love in the Time of Cholera
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2018-03-12 11:24:04 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-12 11:56:28 PM  
I've given up any shame of pooping in a public restroom . If I have to go,  I'm going to go. The only time I couldn't go during a vacation was when I was dehydrated.  Otherwise it's find a toilet  (or dig a hole if you're in the wilderness), squat, and go.
 
2018-03-13 12:00:54 AM  
When I was in Tanzania I had to poop really badly at one point but the only option was a hole in the (really, really filthy) floor. I held it, but the bumpy off road ride back to civilization was less than pleasant.
 
2018-03-13 12:14:05 AM  
I learned the hard way to always take a Pepto before a job interview whether I need it or not.
 
2018-03-13 12:27:03 AM  

4seasons85!: I've given up any shame of pooping in a public restroom . If I have to go,  I'm going to go. The only time I couldn't go during a vacation was when I was dehydrated.  Otherwise it's find a toilet  (or dig a hole if you're in the wilderness), squat, and go.


I don't get being ashamed of pooping in a public restroom.  I take pride in my achievements, and I can clear out an airport men's room with a black bean quesadilla and two rum and cokes after a five hour flight.  I mean, I can turn it up from there, but I try not to commit war crimes.

Why would anyone not take credit?  I mean, I'm proud of my gastrointestinal bacteria.  They put the "bad" in badass.
 
2018-03-13 12:30:31 AM  
Sorry everyone, I was bored and clicked on the link while it was still in the queue, I think that may have helped this go green by doing that. It won't happen again.
 
2018-03-13 12:55:15 AM  
Second. Cup. Of. Coffee.
 
2018-03-13 01:39:00 AM  
". High-fiber foods like fruit and vegetables are helpful, and choosing a salad over a pastry at the airport food court "

Ya think? Really? Definitely yes, no argument from me.

Actually I recall one time being constipated overseas and thinking I should seek out an apple or two for fiber. Pho and all those yummy tropical fruits in Vietnam don't have the fiber of our coldland fruitstar the apple.
 
2018-03-13 02:25:29 AM  
Generally speaking, I go with toilets. Everyone appreciates it when you use the commode. Welp, except maybe your brother-in-law because he wants you to lay a steamer on his neighbor's hood, but that has a lot more to with him than you...
 
2018-03-13 02:34:41 AM  

girlygirlmpls: My partner always gets backed up when we travel. At a wayside rest on I-94 in MN, he overflowed two toilets. There was no plunger. Outside there were two employees shooting the breeze. They had no idea what was waiting for them.


I stayed at a hotel in San Diego that I overflowed the toilet from peeing.

They gave me a plunger and some towels.  Good luck out there.
 
2018-03-13 04:25:36 AM  
Step 1: Remember which alt you're logged in as.
 
2018-03-13 05:00:25 AM  
I thought we stopped calling everything a "hack" 5 years ago.
 
2018-03-13 05:03:33 AM  
Everything you wanted to know about vacating on vacation but didn't need to ask.
 
2018-03-13 05:14:01 AM  
And at the end of TFA, they recommend a laxative. If you're going to take the nuclear option, try to get hold of some colonoscopy prep medicine - but drink a lot of water first. My GP explained it thusly: "Your colon usually extracts water from the material passing through it. This stuff causes it to act the opposite way. After the laxative has finished its job - encouraging the colon to get along with it, this stuff provides a cleansing flush, so the staff don't have to give you a high colonic enema before sticking the scope up for a look."
 
2018-03-13 05:18:02 AM  
"In a coffee can" doesn't seem to be on the list
 
2018-03-13 05:21:57 AM  

FNG: [img.fark.net image 226x223]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-13 05:24:30 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-13 05:29:01 AM  
"Try not to change up your diet, avoid excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol, "

This sentence , how it contradicts itself. And I hate it.
 
2018-03-13 05:30:11 AM  
I went on a several day hiking trip in the mountains when I was a teenager. Between the copious exercise and being a teen, I ate a ton of food. Never felt the urge to poop until we were hiking out on the final day. I have never pooped so much in one day in my entire life.
 
2018-03-13 05:30:53 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-13 05:34:04 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-13 05:37:20 AM  
I saw it as a plus when i was doing 14 hour bus rides to get home from uni for the holidays. On the specific route it took you did not want to touch any surface at a bathroom when at a rest stop. Or breathe too deeply. Didn't last too long after getting home, though, so it wasn't that big a problem.
 
2018-03-13 05:42:44 AM  
If you use a toilet on a plane you are using a toilet going ~500 miles an hour.in the sky.
The future is here people. This is the culmination of man's dreams.
 
2018-03-13 05:44:49 AM  

Hoban Washburne: Is this where we are with "lifehacks" now?

Abrupt changes to your diet and routine can lead to constipation.  Lifehack: minimize abrupt changes to your diet and routine.


I read an article about five years ago about 'hacking' your energy bill by using a ceiling fan. 
One of the 'tips' was to install the fan. 
The next tip was turning the fan on. 

I've done my best to avoid anything with the word hack in it since.
 
2018-03-13 05:46:00 AM  
Airplane toilets should have seat belts.
 
2018-03-13 05:53:27 AM  

Don Gato: Airplane toilets should have seat belts.

Airplane toilets should have ejection seats.

 
2018-03-13 05:56:14 AM  
According to David Poopers, MD, PhD, a gastroenterologist at NYU Langone Health

FTFY
 
2018-03-13 05:56:31 AM  
Same way as when you're not. Coffee.
 
2018-03-13 05:59:46 AM  

bekovich: "Try not to change up your diet, avoid excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol, "

This sentence , how it contradicts itself. And I hate it.


It's like they don't know how their colons work. Caffeine, in the form of coffee, seems the most reliable option.

Frankly, wouldn't drinking the local water also solve the issue? Montezuma's revenge and similar.
 
2018-03-13 06:00:48 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-13 06:05:38 AM  
Find toilet, sit, click on Fark and shiat
 
2018-03-13 06:06:32 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Without explaining how to use one of these things, it's a fail. For instance, there's no paper roll. So, umm... what do you do afterwards? There's no flush handle either. How do you get rid of it? Which way do you face? Are the raised pads for your feet or do you straddle it? Etc.
 
2018-03-13 06:11:14 AM  

Alien Robot: [img.fark.net image 600x800]

Without explaining how to use one of these things, it's a fail. For instance, there's no paper roll. So, umm... what do you do afterwards? There's no flush handle either. How do you get rid of it? Which way do you face? Are the raised pads for your feet or do you straddle it? Etc.


Yes, it's basically the original squatty potty.  You put your feet on those pads, and let fly.  No, you don't flush.  You pour water from the bucket down to flush.  You fill the bucket with the hose.  You face the way you came in.  And no, no toilet paper, you spray your sphinter with the hose and use your hand to clean things off.  Wash your hands when you're done.

As bizarre as it seems, the human arse is designed to snap off a loaf that way.  Actual porcelain thrones are the aberration, not the standard.  We are only just not beginning to learn this.  That's why we get delightful products like the western form of the squatty potty:

This Unicorn Changed the Way I Poop - #SquattyPotty
Youtube YbYWhdLO43Q


Yes, that is an actual thing, and yes, I do want you to watch it.
 
2018-03-13 06:15:39 AM  
I have a digestive system of iron. Seriously nothing affects it, not eating, not traveling. Probably not even most viruses or bacteria.

However, one time I did get travelers diarrhea.  Fortunately, I was alone on a road trip, in a populated party of the country, so I could take all the rest stops I needed.  About the only scare I had was in Newport, Rhode Island.  Foolishly got out of my car to walk around, thinking I was ok for awhile.  I wasn't.  Managed to hang on until I got to a Panera Bread.
 
2018-03-13 06:20:34 AM  

Cpl.D: And no, no toilet paper, you spray your sphinter with the hose


Won't that get your pants wet? Or do you remove them completely first?
 
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