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(Deadspin)   All we know about hockey is a lie   ( deadspin.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Stanley Cup, medalist Amanda Kessel, National Hockey League, NHL brother Phil, hot dogs, Toronto Maple Leafs, Pittsburgh Penguins, Boston Bruins  
•       •       •

3990 clicks; posted to Sports » on 08 Mar 2018 at 3:20 PM (32 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-08 02:04:47 PM  
He may be trolling Toronto fans, which is kinda our secret national sport.
 
2018-03-08 02:13:57 PM  
Puck off
 
2018-03-08 02:24:06 PM  
Eddie Shore?

/Old Time Hockey?
 
2018-03-08 02:40:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Old news is old. But it's still a funny story, there is no reason to let the truth get in the way of a good story..
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 02:44:42 PM  
It's not true, that's impossible!
Youtube MHJMLChYufI
 
2018-03-08 03:00:41 PM  
Yeah he does. He likes hot dogs BECAUSE HE LIKES C**KS IN HIS MOUTH, SON! SULLY FROM WORCESTER, BIATCHES!

Goon (2/12) Movie CLIP - Hot Ice (2011) HD
Youtube ViXH47OcqYA
 
2018-03-08 03:32:50 PM  
But what if I know that everything we know about hockey is a lie?
 
2018-03-08 03:34:30 PM  
I guess he can't skate fast enough to catch any kind of dog.
 
2018-03-08 03:37:10 PM  
Amanda Kessel + my hotdog = 4 eva
 
2018-03-08 03:37:46 PM  
I've got a hot dog for Amanda.

No, seriously. I'm grilling some for lunch.

Amanda, call me.
 
2018-03-08 03:40:20 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

'Doggin' it hot, bro.'
'Kesselzy prefers the sandos, bro.'
'Don't like the missile meat -total disgrace to skatey-punchy!'
'Needs to give his balls a tug!'
 
2018-03-08 03:40:29 PM  
Bullshiat

img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 03:41:26 PM  
 
2018-03-08 03:48:13 PM  
thepensnation.comView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size


Yowza.
 
2018-03-08 03:54:28 PM  

fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.


She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 03:57:36 PM  
So the hot dog barely made the Kessel run?
 
2018-03-08 04:00:03 PM  
is this a euphemism?

/funnier if it's a euphemism
 
2018-03-08 04:02:06 PM  

rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]


She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes
 
2018-03-08 04:39:08 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: He may be trolling Toronto fans, which is kinda our secret national sport.


Nah, Kessel and Leafs Nation get along fine.  Kessel and the Hogtown media is another story.
 
2018-03-08 04:40:53 PM  
Phil regarding Amanda:

media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 04:48:42 PM  

fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes


I'm doing my best not to imagine what you did when her ESPN Body Issue photos were released.
 
2018-03-08 04:56:37 PM  

Polish Hussar: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

I'm doing my best not to imagine what you did when her ESPN Body Issue photos were released.


You know.
 
2018-03-08 05:14:14 PM  
It's still real to me, dammit

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 05:23:30 PM  
I do enjoy Phil not being eaten alive by Toronto fans/sports news/idiots.  "I have Crosby and Malkin, I don't have to be 'The Savior.'"
 
2018-03-08 05:37:44 PM  

fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes


It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knigh​t-joins​-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.1021719
 
2018-03-08 05:40:04 PM  

fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes


She's definitely too young for my old ass, but:

LIVING THE DREAM IN 2017
Youtube N2d52QaodD0
 
2018-03-08 05:44:58 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9


Boston Bruins Hockey Rules - Date
Youtube shQ9JvbegV0


/the one in the ad is cute too
//still would
 
2018-03-08 05:55:54 PM  
Hockey is boring and hot dogs are disgusting.

/threadshiat off
 
2018-03-08 06:07:13 PM  

fatalvenom: Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/shQ9Jvbe​gV0]

/the one in the ad is cute too
//still would


I would too, and she could even wear the gold medal during the whole thing.
 
2018-03-08 06:12:25 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/shQ9Jvbe​gV0]

/the one in the ad is cute too
//still would

I would too, and she could even wear the gold medal during the whole thing.


randymarshcumsplosion.jpg
 
2018-03-08 06:29:20 PM  
I see both stabs at the KHL fix-is-in story failed to green, and given the h/l this is as fine a place to dump this as anywhere...
http://scoutingtherefs.com/2018/03/21​7​94/khl-ska-severstal-ot-goal-offside/

the whole twitter thread - story here:  https://twitter.com/SlavaMalamud/stat​u​s/971595788315918336

Sad for Datsyuk. Not sure he can make this disappear.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 06:40:10 PM  

naugahyde monkey: https://www.wingingitinmotown.com/201​4​/10/17/6994629/report-what-does-phil-k​essel-do-for-a-living

/from when twitter was fun
// for slashing


Ok, that was freaking clever.
 
2018-03-08 07:27:54 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9


I sort of love that the Montreal NWHL team is Les Canadiennes and their nickname is the Fabs.

/I want a Riveters sweater
 
2018-03-08 09:35:21 PM  
Two things - One: obvious tag is missing. Duh.
Two: f*ck you if you're making Amanda into something sexual. You lonely little creep. Should she make you a sandwich, too, asshole?
 
2018-03-08 09:56:27 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 09:59:52 PM  
s.yimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 10:10:45 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-09 12:05:52 AM  
Brats are better anyway.

Bought the best brats I've ever had from Shipshewana this past weekend.  We're talking too good to put mustard on brats.
 
2018-03-09 10:15:56 AM  

drivingsouth: [s.yimg.com image 540x303]


Those men look god damned ridiculous. (No, not the guy in the hockey jersey)
 
2018-03-09 10:44:34 AM  
Phil Kessel is the best example of a professional athlete (a star player, no less!), who looks absolutely nothing like a professional athlete, and instead looks like an average shlub fan.

The next best example would probably be some pitchers in MLB, but I think Kessel has them beat.
 
2018-03-09 11:22:42 AM  

Doc Daneeka: Phil Kessel is the best example of a professional athlete (a star player, no less!), who looks absolutely nothing like a professional athlete, and instead looks like an average shlub fan.

The next best example would probably be some pitchers in MLB, but I think Kessel has them beat.


There are some good professional golf examples too.  Charlie Hoffman comes to mind.
 
2018-03-09 11:38:04 AM  

cettin: There are some good professional golf examples too.  Charlie Hoffman comes to mind.


Hoffman less so since he cut his hair.

Beef Johnston, on the other hand...
 
2018-03-09 05:04:11 PM  

Doc Daneeka: Phil Kessel is the best example of a professional athlete (a star player, no less!), who looks absolutely nothing like a professional athlete, and instead looks like an average shlub fan.

The next best example would probably be some pitchers in MLB, but I think Kessel has them beat.


So the John Kruk of the NHL then?
 
2018-03-09 06:49:39 PM  

Mole Man: Doc Daneeka: Phil Kessel is the best example of a professional athlete (a star player, no less!), who looks absolutely nothing like a professional athlete, and instead looks like an average shlub fan.

The next best example would probably be some pitchers in MLB, but I think Kessel has them beat.

So the John Kruk of the NHL then?


"I'm not an athlete, ma'am.  I'm a ballplayer."
 
2018-03-09 07:32:49 PM  

fatalvenom: Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9

[Youtube shQ9JvbegV0 image 480x360][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/shQ9Jvbe​gV0]

/the one in the ad is cute too
//still would


I miss those. And the posters. I dig the bear.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-09 07:56:29 PM  

discgolfguru: fatalvenom: Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: fatalvenom: rohar: fatalvenom: [thepensnation.com image 735x1024]
[img.fark.net image 350x734]

Yowza.

She's cute and all, but Nicole Court has my heart:

[img.fark.net image 750x486]

She looks really young from the front, wow

I'm more of a Hilary Knight guy anyway.

/prefer brunettes

It's gonna sting when you hear about her new team: https://www.tsn.ca/hilary-knight​-joins-montreal-s-canadiennes-1.102171​9

[Youtube shQ9JvbegV0 image 480x360][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/shQ9Jvbe​gV0]

/the one in the ad is cute too
//still would

I miss those. And the posters. I dig the bear.

[img.fark.net image 779x554]


The Lightning one was funny, if I recall it was something about Tampa fans being so old a hip check means something different, I forget
 
2018-03-09 08:15:31 PM  

oldfarthenry: [img.fark.net image 380x199]
'Doggin' it hot, bro.'
'Kesselzy prefers the sandos, bro.'
'Don't like the missile meat -total disgrace to skatey-punchy!'
'Needs to give his balls a tug!'


I'm seeing the Letterkenny tour show tomorrow.

I got a kick out of this reply.
 
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