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(The Hollywood Reporter)   What it's like to spend five minutes with Madonna   ( hollywoodreporter.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, MDNA SKIN, Human skin color, Elbow, Madonna, skin care, skin care line, Skin, MDNA SKIN guru  
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5469 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Mar 2018 at 1:54 AM (32 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-07 11:20:43 PM  
It's like spending 1500 years with THE Madonna. But not as fun.
 
2018-03-08 01:56:59 AM  
[Sponsored Link]
 
2018-03-08 02:20:10 AM  
Is there a mod trying to drink all the Kentucky bourbon before it gets tariffed right out of his cold shaky hands?
 
2018-03-08 02:40:15 AM  
MDMA MDNA - whats the diff?
 
2018-03-08 02:44:26 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 02:53:39 AM  

minorshan: [78.media.tumblr.com image 500x245]


Wouldn't  a straw work better?
 
2018-03-08 03:03:20 AM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 03:16:48 AM  
confusedschnouser.jpg
 
2018-03-08 03:18:33 AM  
Who?

Is this someone I should know of?
 
2018-03-08 05:48:05 AM  

minorshan: [78.media.tumblr.com image 500x245]


If she can still do that I won't need the whole 5 minutes.
 
2018-03-08 06:41:42 AM  
Guessing after spending 5 minutes with her one might need to go to one of these?

denverpublichealth.orgView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 07:03:24 AM  
It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway
 
2018-03-08 07:17:47 AM  

Alien Robot: Who?

Is this someone I should know of?


She was popular about the time I was born. I'm 32.

She tried to make a comeback song recently that flopped, perhaps because it constantly used a record-scratching sound that sounded more like someone opening a roll of packaging tape.
 
2018-03-08 07:34:19 AM  
What the fark is this
 
2018-03-08 07:52:56 AM  
The rings-on-every-finger look creeps me out.

I'm not a fan of jewelry to begin with, but I just don't like how that looks.
 
2018-03-08 08:07:19 AM  
Wayne's World already explored this topic:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bl​6​e

/i can't believe this wasn't already posted...I must be old
 
2018-03-08 08:22:42 AM  

plecos: Wayne's World already explored this topic:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bl6​e

/i can't believe this wasn't already posted...I must be old

What I got:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 09:23:13 AM  
I thought that was Willem Dafoe, opps
 
2018-03-08 09:25:18 AM  
Pantera - 5 Minutes Alone (Official Video)
Youtube 7m7njvwB-Ks
 
2018-03-08 09:50:28 AM  
I bet she smells like pee.  She looks like she smells like pee.
 
2018-03-08 10:19:32 AM  
Is it still 1984? If not, I'll pass.
 
2018-03-08 10:32:49 AM  
Everything I ever read about people who have had contact with her, including other celebs, is that she's pretty and talented with an awful personality.
 
2018-03-08 10:42:16 AM  

buntz: The rings-on-every-finger look creeps me out.

I'm not a fan of jewelry to begin with, but I just don't like how that looks.


I guess you didn't spot the diamond grills.
 
2018-03-08 10:50:27 AM  

ebell: What the fark is this


An advertisement.
 
2018-03-08 11:15:25 AM  

ZMugg: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bl​6​e


It's the SNL skit

https://vimeo.com/4760357
 
2018-03-08 11:18:33 AM  
Hey look kids, an ad for.... something... skin suits or elbow macaroni or something...
 
2018-03-08 11:40:10 AM  
She's 59 and I would still disappoint her with my best 45 seconds.
 
2018-03-08 11:43:36 AM  

jaytkay: ZMugg: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bl6​e

It's the SNL skit

https://vimeo.com/4760357


Thanks, I think...
 
2018-03-08 12:32:55 PM  
french and saunders
Youtube 7_l0H5WusxM
 
2018-03-08 12:52:11 PM  

zappaisfrank: Everything I ever read about people who have had contact with her, including other celebs, is that she's pretty and talented with an awful personality.


I'd agree with you, but the pic with the article gives contradictory evidence on the "pretty" qualifier.
 
2018-03-08 01:32:20 PM  

minorshan: [78.media.tumblr.com image 500x245]


I remember seeing that before I started dating and being impressed.  Then after I started dating I realized she's really bad at that.
 
2018-03-08 01:53:52 PM  

LewDux: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/7_l0H5Wu​sxM]


https://biqle.ru/watch/4129217_157391​5​44
 
2018-03-08 01:57:09 PM  

tcaptain: zappaisfrank: Everything I ever read about people who have had contact with her, including other celebs, is that she's pretty and talented with an awful personality.

I'd agree with you, but the pic with the article gives contradictory evidence on the "pretty" qualifier.


Well, she's almost 60 and she was unable to resist the lure of the knife which is unfortunate. Once upon a time, though, I'd have hit that into the stratosphere.
 
2018-03-08 02:05:19 PM  

zappaisfrank: tcaptain: zappaisfrank: Everything I ever read about people who have had contact with her, including other celebs, is that she's pretty and talented with an awful personality.

I'd agree with you, but the pic with the article gives contradictory evidence on the "pretty" qualifier.

Well, she's almost 60 and she was unable to resist the lure of the knife which is unfortunate. Once upon a time, though, I'd have hit that into the stratosphere.


Hard to disagree with you there, but seriously, she's almost unrecognizable in that pic.

Sadly.

I have the notion that she would likely have aged quite well had she not done so much.
 
2018-03-08 03:20:53 PM  

four95: She's 59 and I would still disappoint her with my best 45 seconds.


"Tiger Woods,"
by Dan Bern


I had a friend whose goal in life / was to one day go down on Madonna.
That's all he wanted / that was all / to one day go down on Madonna.
And when my friend was thirty-four / he got his wish in Rome one night.
He got to go down on Madonna / in Rome one night in some hotel.

And ever since he's been depressed / 'cause life is shiat from here on in.
And all our friends just shake their heads / And say, "Too soon, too soon, too soon.
He went down on Madonna too soon. /Too young, too young, too soon, too soon."
 
2018-03-08 03:23:58 PM  

GalFriday: I bet she smells like pee.  She looks like she smells like pee.


Don't tell Trump!
 
2018-03-08 03:31:09 PM  
Oh good, it's fark's bi-monthly We hate Madonna!!!!!111111 thread.  Fantastic.  I was worried I was going to miss it.
 
2018-03-08 03:56:22 PM  
She looks pretty good for 60 (or almost 60). (shrug)
 
2018-03-08 04:12:41 PM  
role models- sean lock
Youtube pKb2Bt5eC7M
 
2018-03-08 05:18:42 PM  
I've got a friend whose goal in life was to one day go down on Madonna...

(NSFW lyrics)
Tiger Woods by Dan Bern
Youtube Tctfq4tplQ4
 
2018-03-08 08:31:55 PM  
She has to be the most vain person breathing today.
 
2018-03-08 10:29:24 PM  
Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.
 
2018-03-08 11:44:34 PM  

morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.


img.fark.netView Full Size

Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

img.fark.netView Full Size
Not with subby's dick.
 
2018-03-09 05:17:35 AM  

69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.


She's like the female version of the creepy old guy still trying to hook up with girls in their late teens/early 20's and trying to look 'cool' even though they're grandpa-aged. And the longer people try to do that, the creepier they get. Like honestly hiring a young hooker now and then at that point is less creepy than trying to hang out with the younglings all the time and dress like them. She doesn't seem able to age gracefully in any sense.
 
2018-03-09 05:32:48 AM  

Dark Side Of The Spoon: 69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.

She's like the female version of the creepy old guy still trying to hook up with girls in their late teens/early 20's and trying to look 'cool' even though they're grandpa-aged. And the longer people try to do that, the creepier they get. Like honestly hiring a young hooker now and then at that point is less creepy than trying to hang out with the younglings all the time and dress like them. She doesn't seem able to age gracefully in any sense.


Why can't she age gracefully like Cyndi Looper?
www4.pictures.stylebistro.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-09 06:22:31 AM  

69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.


It's really depressing to see women who way overdo the plastic surgery and start it when they're way too young. They never look the same.
Priscilla Presley, Cher, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, they were so good looking before and now they look cringey.

I'm a woman and believe in "My body, my choice" but it makes me sad they felt they had to do that to themselves.
 
2018-03-09 09:52:19 AM  

What Fresh Hell Is This: 69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.

It's really depressing to see women who way overdo the plastic surgery and start it when they're way too young. They never look the same.
Priscilla Presley, Cher, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, they were so good looking before and now they look cringey.

I'm a woman and believe in "My body, my choice" but it makes me sad they felt they had to do that to themselves.


Meg Ryan, too. What happened with her and the knife was just tragic.
 
2018-03-09 11:59:25 AM  

zappaisfrank: What Fresh Hell Is This: 69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.

It's really depressing to see women who way overdo the plastic surgery and start it when they're way too young. They never look the same.
Priscilla Presley, Cher, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, they were so good looking before and now they look cringey.

I'm a woman and believe in "My body, my choice" but it makes me sad they felt they had to do that to themselves.

Meg Ryan, too. What happened with her and the knife was just tragic.


Stockard Channing, too. I adore her and hate seeing what she looks like now. I saw her on TV recently and she still can act and crack wise but It's painful to look at her her puffy plastic face and lips.
 
2018-03-09 03:06:38 PM  

What Fresh Hell Is This: zappaisfrank: What Fresh Hell Is This: 69gnarkill69: morg: Which Madonna? Because 1980s Madonna was awesome.

[img.fark.net image 554x554]
Crawl over 2 miles of broken glass to hear her pee in a tin cup.

[img.fark.net image 850x477]Not with subby's dick.

It's really depressing to see women who way overdo the plastic surgery and start it when they're way too young. They never look the same.
Priscilla Presley, Cher, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, they were so good looking before and now they look cringey.

I'm a woman and believe in "My body, my choice" but it makes me sad they felt they had to do that to themselves.

Meg Ryan, too. What happened with her and the knife was just tragic.

Stockard Channing, too. I adore her and hate seeing what she looks like now. I saw her on TV recently and she still can act and crack wise but It's painful to look at her her puffy plastic face and lips.


The knife turned Sharon Osbourne into Leona Helmsley, too...just sad.
 
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