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(TwinCities.com)   Grabbing someone's ass could soon be illegal in Minnesota. In other news, grabbing someone's ass is currently legal in Minnesota. Tag is for the last part   ( twincities.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Misdemeanor, criminal sexual conduct, buttocks, Al Franken, Human sexual behavior, Crime, Police, United States Senate  
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2269 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2018 at 3:23 AM (31 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-07 10:01:59 PM  
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Proponent of strict grab-ass penalties.
 
2018-03-07 10:04:11 PM  
In a state that cold, grabbing somebody's ass to keep your hands warm might be a life-or-death situation.
 
2018-03-07 10:15:27 PM  
It's like a wildlife refuge for Harvey Weinstein.
 
2018-03-07 10:22:37 PM  
Courtesy of Louisiana_Sitar_Club

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2018-03-07 10:29:12 PM  
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Behold, a gangland assault in Minnesota (or are we talking grab em by the pussy)?
 
2018-03-08 12:27:06 AM  
Minnesota nice
 
2018-03-08 01:00:29 AM  
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2018-03-08 03:26:17 AM  
Kancho is still legal though, right?
 
2018-03-08 03:36:23 AM  
Yeah, subby, that's about the right tag for a Minnesota woman. I'd give her face a seven, and her ass a nine.
 
2018-03-08 04:21:22 AM  
I once grabbed what I thought was my boyfriend's ass at a concert (in Mn, as it happens).  The guy jumped and looked around wildly, clearly upset, and I realized with mortification that the ass I grabbed was a stranger's.

I apologized, but I still feel a little bad about it.
 
2018-03-08 04:26:34 AM  

wingedkat: I once grabbed what I thought was my boyfriend's ass at a concert (in Mn, as it happens).  The guy jumped and looked around wildly, clearly upset, and I realized with mortification that the ass I grabbed was a stranger's.

I apologized, but I still feel a little bad about it.


You shouldn't feel bad.
 
2018-03-08 04:54:36 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 04:57:47 AM  

mr_larry: wingedkat: I once grabbed what I thought was my boyfriend's ass at a concert (in Mn, as it happens).  The guy jumped and looked around wildly, clearly upset, and I realized with mortification that the ass I grabbed was a stranger's.

I apologized, but I still feel a little bad about it.

You shouldn't feel bad.


Why not?  The guy was clearly upset by it.
 
2018-03-08 05:12:22 AM  

wingedkat: I once grabbed what I thought was my boyfriend's ass at a concert (in Mn, as it happens).  The guy jumped and looked around wildly, clearly upset, and I realized with mortification that the ass I grabbed was a stranger's.

I apologized, but I still feel a little bad about it.


Oh puhleeze!
You saw how he was dressed, he was ass-king for it!
 
2018-03-08 05:35:04 AM  
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2018-03-08 05:59:34 AM  
"But a coach's pat on the butt wouldn't be illegal under their proposal unless it was done in with aggressive or sexual intent."

Sure, but it would've been illegal under the existing law if if it hadn't been excepted from the definition of sexual contact, which referred to any nonconsensual touching of "intimate parts," which are defined as "the primary genital area, groin, inner thigh, buttocks, or breast". Absent that exception, the coach's pat would've been *defined* as sexual contact. So the problem wasn't the coach exception, it was failing to include a perv exception to the coach exception.

/assuming you agree with these lawmakers that nonconsensual grabass is fine if it isn't aggressive or sexual
 
2018-03-08 06:14:42 AM  
I like grabbing my wife's ass, so I guess we'll not be moving to MN anytime soon.
 
2018-03-08 06:26:45 AM  
I had my ass grabbed twice coming home from school on the bus. The first time, I did not see who did it. The second time I caught him and smacked him in the face. The guy looked to be about 45. I was 15.
 
2018-03-08 07:32:45 AM  
I met my wife in the late 80s while working at a restaurant and it was a free for all. The staff ranged from early 20s to mid 60s. Sometime we had a male manager, sometimes a woman. The girls hit on us, we hit on them. The grandma who was the greeter could be the raunchiest of them all. Aggressive JR-high like flirting, ass-slaps, double-entendres, and more. National Lampoon would have been embarrassed to make a movie of us.

That said, we self-policed. If you got ONE look from someone, you knew to STOP. And if someone went overboard "justice" was swift. 

Several long term relationships/marriages emerged from that group, including my own.


Was that "institutionalized harrassment" or was that just the way single people got along back then?
 
2018-03-08 07:49:12 AM  
But how will football players and coaches congratulate each other now?
 
2018-03-08 07:54:17 AM  
Scene: Nightclub, loud music, very dark. Guy leans over girl as they're dancing.
Guy: mumblemumblemumble
Gal: what??
Guy: mumblemumbleMUMBLE
Gal: WHAT??
Guy/ Can I grab your *mumble*

/nightclubs will be fun under this law
 
2018-03-08 07:55:30 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: But how will football players and coaches congratulate each other now?


In Minnesota, I believe the custom celebration is to rent a party boat.
 
2018-03-08 07:56:21 AM  

GardenWeasel: Tyrone Slothrop: But how will football players and coaches congratulate each other now?

In Minnesota, I believe the custom celebration is to rent a party boat.


*customary
 
2018-03-08 08:18:16 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: "But a coach's pat on the butt wouldn't be illegal under their proposal unless it was done in with aggressive or sexual intent."

Sure, but it would've been illegal under the existing law if if it hadn't been excepted from the definition of sexual contact, which referred to any nonconsensual touching of "intimate parts," which are defined as "the primary genital area, groin, inner thigh, buttocks, or breast". Absent that exception, the coach's pat would've been *defined* as sexual contact. So the problem wasn't the coach exception, it was failing to include a perv exception to the coach exception.

/assuming you agree with these lawmakers that nonconsensual grabass is fine if it isn't aggressive or sexual


I never did sportsball in school so I'm a little mystified by the congratulatory ass-pat tradition. Seems like that's one of those things that could stand to be retired, alongside racist mascots and multiple concussions.
 
2018-03-08 08:21:44 AM  
Because until recently no one thought there was a need to waste time making a law specifically for this.
 
2018-03-08 08:25:20 AM  

wingedkat: I once grabbed what I thought was my boyfriend's ass at a concert (in Mn, as it happens).  The guy jumped and looked around wildly, clearly upset, and I realized with mortification that the ass I grabbed was a stranger's.

I apologized, but I still feel a little bad about it.


Unless you slipped in a digit or 2 don't worry.
 
2018-03-08 08:26:09 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: But how will football players and coaches congratulate each other now?


Privately
 
2018-03-08 09:09:31 AM  
Ass grabbing? Pfffft! Lightweights! D2S doesn't bother with such trivial Assets!
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2018-03-08 09:28:04 AM  
lol
so keep those hands up, gentlemen
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2018-03-08 09:31:28 AM  
Butt thread be lagging. Needs moar energy..

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2018-03-08 09:32:19 AM  

daffy: I had my ass grabbed twice coming home from school on the bus. The first time, I did not see who did it. The second time I caught him and smacked him in the face. The guy looked to be about 45. I was 15.


If you're still riding the school bus at 45, it's time to give up on that high school diploma dream.
 
2018-03-08 09:40:15 AM  

RJReves: Butt thread be lagging. Needs moar energy..

[img.fark.net image 424x289]


How about this?  Is this enough energy?
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2018-03-08 09:53:37 AM  

pueblonative: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 300x168]

Behold, a gangland assault in Minnesota (or are we talking grab em by the pussy)?


It's only weird when other people do it.
 
2018-03-08 09:53:45 AM  
"County attorneys and city attorneys aren't going to prosecute this frivolously,"  Marty said.

Uh huh.  Sure they aren't.  Have you ever met a persecutor, Marty?  They're often not good people, and an easy conviction is an easy conviction.

Having been the recipient of unwanted ass grabs, I think it's very reasonable to say that this should not be a farking crime.  Having your ass grabbed is an annoyance, it's not worth ruining somebody's life over.  Stop trying to make up new farking crimes, you farking assholes.  This country already has far, far too many people in prison.  Want to do something good?  Start repealing crimes.  Start lowering maximum sentences.
 
2018-03-08 11:00:32 AM  
That's right, subby, the ass is the last part.
 
2018-03-08 01:58:03 PM  

doubled99: Because until recently no one thought there was a need to waste time making a law specifically for this.


Except for the other 49 states where it's illegal?
 
2018-03-08 02:28:06 PM  
As a Minnesotan, not knowing this....I feel like Ive wasted my life./not really
 
2018-03-08 02:41:57 PM  
ASS ASS ASS ASS!  I DIDN'T BLOW UP!
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2018-03-08 03:21:47 PM  
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2018-03-08 03:29:33 PM  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael​_​H._Kenyon

Frank Zappa - The Legend of the Illinois Enema Bandit (Lather Version)
Youtube eYo9oXBsE5M
 
2018-03-08 04:17:42 PM  

Chemlight Battery: daffy: I had my ass grabbed twice coming home from school on the bus. The first time, I did not see who did it. The second time I caught him and smacked him in the face. The guy looked to be about 45. I was 15.

If you're still riding the school bus at 45, it's time to give up on that high school diploma dream.


It was a public bus not a school bus. Sorry, should have said that.
 
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