Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(HelenaIR.com)   You're out in maneuvers, and you see an M-1 Abrams lying on its back, unable to move. Why aren't you helping?   ( helenair.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, M1A2 Abrams tanks, United States Army, National Guard tank, M1 Abrams, Depleted uranium, Chobham armour, newest variants, Gulf War  
•       •       •

7563 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2018 at 1:04 AM (40 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-03-07 08:06:15 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

You're going to need a big wrecker.
 
2018-03-07 08:13:12 PM  
The Montana National Guard and out-of-state officials are currently investigating the M1 Abrams tank accident.

Not sure why but that reads less like a "determining what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future" kind of thing and more like "HOLY SHIAT.  TAKE SOME VACATION TIME AND GET THE HELL OUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT THESE ASSHOLES MANAGED TO DO!"
 
2018-03-07 08:29:23 PM  
Poor little feller, probably broke his torsion bar.

PainInTheASP: The Montana National Guard and out-of-state officials are currently investigating the M1 Abrams tank accident.

Not sure why but that reads less like a "determining what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future" kind of thing and more like "HOLY SHIAT.  TAKE SOME VACATION TIME AND GET THE HELL OUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT THESE ASSHOLES MANAGED TO DO!"


CSB TIME: So there I was, eye to eye with the great fish....

Actually, I had just gotten back from leave Christmas Day (my mom's b-day is the 20th, so I went home early for that & could only take 5 days) and someone came into the unit's building and went into the CO's office, and then they both came out a few minutes later, ashen faced, and said that someone had broken into the motor pool and we all had to go down and secure it.

So we walk over there and saw the front gate got cut with bolt cutters. Walk to where the vehicles were parked, and... holy shiat someone stole a tank and went monster truck rally in the motor pool. It was wild. There was a 113 (armored personnel carrier) on it's side, pushed all the way across the motor pool. Someone drove a tank on top of the Alpha company CO's humvee - it was destroyed. Like something out of a movie. They'd driven the tank around, smashing into other tanks and vehicles, but that was the majority of the damage from what I recall. Although it did look like a series of bombs went off.

Then, blackout drunk but training kicking in hard, they parked the tank back on the line where they got it, and covered it with a tarp like nobody would notice the farking destruction that they'd wrought all over the place. Turns out it was a couple of goons from Alpha and Charlie company, respectively, who were getting chaptered out for being losers, so they decided to go out with a bang.

This was 1-66 Armor, which traces it's lineage back to Patton, so it's the oldest armor regiment in the US Army. Once they get the morons in custody, they put one of them in the trophy room. He decided to teach the battalion Sergeant Major a lesson and proceeded to destroy the trophy room, and about 80 years of military awards. Can't make that stuff up. That was a heck of a thing to come back to after leave.

But yeah tanks flip all the time, driving those things is dangerous.
 
2018-03-07 08:40:51 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 09:04:23 PM  

Fingerware Error: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 299x168]
You're going to need a big wrecker.


Bigger than that.
 
2018-03-07 09:10:09 PM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Poor little feller, probably broke his torsion bar.

PainInTheASP: The Montana National Guard and out-of-state officials are currently investigating the M1 Abrams tank accident.

Not sure why but that reads less like a "determining what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future" kind of thing and more like "HOLY SHIAT.  TAKE SOME VACATION TIME AND GET THE HELL OUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT THESE ASSHOLES MANAGED TO DO!"

CSB TIME: So there I was, eye to eye with the great fish....

Actually, I had just gotten back from leave Christmas Day (my mom's b-day is the 20th, so I went home early for that & could only take 5 days) and someone came into the unit's building and went into the CO's office, and then they both came out a few minutes later, ashen faced, and said that someone had broken into the motor pool and we all had to go down and secure it.

So we walk over there and saw the front gate got cut with bolt cutters. Walk to where the vehicles were parked, and... holy shiat someone stole a tank and went monster truck rally in the motor pool. It was wild. There was a 113 (armored personnel carrier) on it's side, pushed all the way across the motor pool. Someone drove a tank on top of the Alpha company CO's humvee - it was destroyed. Like something out of a movie. They'd driven the tank around, smashing into other tanks and vehicles, but that was the majority of the damage from what I recall. Although it did look like a series of bombs went off.

Then, blackout drunk but training kicking in hard, they parked the tank back on the line where they got it, and covered it with a tarp like nobody would notice the farking destruction that they'd wrought all over the place. Turns out it was a couple of goons from Alpha and Charlie company, respectively, who were getting chaptered out for being losers, so they decided to go out with a bang.

This was 1-66 Armor, which traces it's lineage back to Patton, so it's the oldest armor regiment in the US Army. Once they get the morons in custody, they put one of them in the trophy room. He decided to teach the battalion Sergeant Major a lesson and proceeded to destroy the trophy room, and about 80 years of military awards. Can't make that stuff up. That was a heck of a thing to come back to after leave.

But yeah tanks flip all the time, driving those things is dangerous.


Wow, that is indeed a CSB!

The only cool thing I ever came back from leave to discover was that CID had busted a SGT in 3rd PLT for running a coke ring. He was our company drug-control NCO.

/don't know where all those TLAs came from.
 
2018-03-07 09:14:31 PM  
Hilda, I have invented a maneuver!

img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2018-03-08 01:06:44 AM  
What's an M-1 Abrams?
 
2018-03-08 01:07:15 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


"An Abrams? What's an Abrams?"
 
2018-03-08 01:07:34 AM  
You want me to tell you about my mother?
 
2018-03-08 01:07:49 AM  
What do you mean I'm not helping?
 
2018-03-08 01:08:43 AM  
 
2018-03-08 01:10:03 AM  
Who says I'm not helping, subby?
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 01:10:40 AM  
How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?
 
2018-03-08 01:11:00 AM  

Thong_of_Zardoz: Worship me like a God.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 01:11:15 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


Women drivers. Amirite???
 
2018-03-08 01:17:12 AM  
I know older generations of tanks could suffer a turret separation in a rollover, but does that happen to the Abrams? It's just a matter of installing a retention mechanism of some sort.
 
2018-03-08 01:17:33 AM  
"On" not "in"
 
2018-03-08 01:19:03 AM  
Dio-The Last In Line
Youtube mEV4Tov1GBM
 
2018-03-08 01:22:49 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


Even tanks have a center of gravity, and hills are plentiful. Not that I know anything about tank driving, but all it takes is a driver that doesn't know enough to temper his/her confidence.
 
2018-03-08 01:23:06 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


Go over a pile of rubble off-center.
 
2018-03-08 01:25:21 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


You give it to the National Guard.
 
2018-03-08 01:25:57 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

How tanks right themselves.
 
2018-03-08 01:26:18 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


Hold my beer.

Just kidding.  I doubt I could manage to get a tank started, let alone flip it.
 
2018-03-08 01:29:14 AM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Poor little feller, probably broke his torsion bar.

PainInTheASP: The Montana National Guard and out-of-state officials are currently investigating the M1 Abrams tank accident.

Not sure why but that reads less like a "determining what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future" kind of thing and more like "HOLY SHIAT.  TAKE SOME VACATION TIME AND GET THE HELL OUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT THESE ASSHOLES MANAGED TO DO!"

CSB TIME: So there I was, eye to eye with the great fish....

Actually, I had just gotten back from leave Christmas Day (my mom's b-day is the 20th, so I went home early for that & could only take 5 days) and someone came into the unit's building and went into the CO's office, and then they both came out a few minutes later, ashen faced, and said that someone had broken into the motor pool and we all had to go down and secure it.

So we walk over there and saw the front gate got cut with bolt cutters. Walk to where the vehicles were parked, and... holy shiat someone stole a tank and went monster truck rally in the motor pool. It was wild. There was a 113 (armored personnel carrier) on it's side, pushed all the way across the motor pool. Someone drove a tank on top of the Alpha company CO's humvee - it was destroyed. Like something out of a movie. They'd driven the tank around, smashing into other tanks and vehicles, but that was the majority of the damage from what I recall. Although it did look like a series of bombs went off.

Then, blackout drunk but training kicking in hard, they parked the tank back on the line where they got it, and covered it with a tarp like nobody would notice the farking destruction that they'd wrought all over the place. Turns out it was a couple of goons from Alpha and Charlie company, respectively, who were getting chaptered out for being losers, so they decided to go out with a bang.

This was 1-66 Armor, which traces it's lineage back to Patton, so it's the oldest armor regiment in the US Army. Once they get the morons in custody, they put one of them in the trophy room. He decided to teach the battalion Sergeant Major a lesson and proceeded to destroy the trophy room, and about 80 years of military awards. Can't make that stuff up. That was a heck of a thing to come back to after leave.

But yeah tanks flip all the time, driving those things is dangerous.


Hence the saying "5% of your soldiers will take up 95% of your time."
 
2018-03-08 01:33:29 AM  
Oh henderson.
 
2018-03-08 01:34:59 AM  

wildcardjack: I know older generations of tanks could suffer a turret separation in a rollover, but does that happen to the Abrams? It's just a matter of installing a retention mechanism of some sort.


So, Turret's Syndrome?
 
2018-03-08 01:47:41 AM  
Obviously, the tank did not have the proper rites performed upon it. Call for the TechPriest.
 
2018-03-08 01:57:35 AM  

Fingerware Error: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 299x168]
You're going to need a big wrecker.


One of these:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 02:01:52 AM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Turns out it was a couple of goons from Alpha and Charlie company

, respectively, who were getting chaptered out for being losers

Did YOU smash a bunch of shiat with a tank?  No?

Then why the fark do you think you've got any possible right to call THEM losers?

Sounds like YOU are the loser.
 
2018-03-08 02:47:23 AM  
Great headline subby.   Because I read your headline first, when I clicked on the article I read it as "Ford Harrison".
 
2018-03-08 03:05:56 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 03:33:59 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Just answer the questions please.
 
2018-03-08 03:38:21 AM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes:

CSB TIME: So there I was, eye to eye with the great fish....


Oh no. Oh nooooooo. As a former company commander and XO, and a lifelong 42B, this hurts me in sooo many ways. ;_;
 
2018-03-08 04:02:01 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 04:26:30 AM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Poor little feller, probably broke his torsion bar.

PainInTheASP: The Montana National Guard and out-of-state officials are currently investigating the M1 Abrams tank accident.

Not sure why but that reads less like a "determining what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future" kind of thing and more like "HOLY SHIAT.  TAKE SOME VACATION TIME AND GET THE HELL OUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU GOTTA SEE WHAT THESE ASSHOLES MANAGED TO DO!"

CSB TIME: So there I was, eye to eye with the great fish....

Actually, I had just gotten back from leave Christmas Day (my mom's b-day is the 20th, so I went home early for that & could only take 5 days) and someone came into the unit's building and went into the CO's office, and then they both came out a few minutes later, ashen faced, and said that someone had broken into the motor pool and we all had to go down and secure it.

So we walk over there and saw the front gate got cut with bolt cutters. Walk to where the vehicles were parked, and... holy shiat someone stole a tank and went monster truck rally in the motor pool. It was wild. There was a 113 (armored personnel carrier) on it's side, pushed all the way across the motor pool. Someone drove a tank on top of the Alpha company CO's humvee - it was destroyed. Like something out of a movie. They'd driven the tank around, smashing into other tanks and vehicles, but that was the majority of the damage from what I recall. Although it did look like a series of bombs went off.

Then, blackout drunk but training kicking in hard, they parked the tank back on the line where they got it, and covered it with a tarp like nobody would notice the farking destruction that they'd wrought all over the place. Turns out it was a couple of goons from Alpha and Charlie company, respectively, who were getting chaptered out for being losers, so they decided to go out with a bang.

This was 1-66 Armor, which traces it's lineage back to Patton, so it's the oldest armor regiment in the US Army. Once ...


You CSB beats the hell out of mine but I'll still tell it.

Nasty Guard.  We were out in the woods for our MUTA 4 and one of the guys needs to move a M106 (like a M113 but modified for the 4.2" mortar).  He didn't have a ground guide so he lowers the back ramp so he can look out the back as he's backing up.  But he had lowered the ramp too far down and it dug in but he didn't realize it.  Keeps backing up until the ass end of the 106 is propped up in the air and the ramp is near vertical underneath.  Ripped the shiat out of the entire lift mechanism.  Took about 1/2 dozen guys to lift the ramp up to get it locked closed.  I don't know how somebody didn't lose a strip but there must have been some sort of BS involved because the following month a guy brought in a diorama with a Revell model M113 in the woods with its ass jacked in the air on its ramp.  The LT saw it and lost his shiat "Get that f*cking thing out of here.  What the f*ck?  Are you trying to get me court martialed?"  CSB
 
2018-03-08 04:54:59 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [img.fark.net image 253x209]

"An Abrams? What's an Abrams?"


Know what a T-90 is?

c1.staticflickr.comView Full Size


Same thing.
 
2018-03-08 05:03:56 AM  
The article would be more helpful with pictures....

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-08 05:05:26 AM  

LesserEvil: The article would be more helpful with pictures....

[img.fark.net image 534x401]


Another reason why it was a bad idea to get rid of the escape hatch.
 
2018-03-08 05:18:44 AM  

g.fro: LesserEvil: The article would be more helpful with pictures....

[img.fark.net image 534x401]

Another reason why it was a bad idea to get rid of the escape hatch.


How did they get out?   Looks rough.
 
2018-03-08 05:27:49 AM  

relaxitsjustme: a diorama with a Revell model M113 in the woods with its ass jacked in the air


Did that end up in the local bar off-duty facility?
 
2018-03-08 06:39:48 AM  

bphlater: g.fro: LesserEvil: The article would be more helpful with pictures....

[img.fark.net image 534x401]

Another reason why it was a bad idea to get rid of the escape hatch.

How did they get out?   Looks rough.


Ejector seats?
 
2018-03-08 07:03:19 AM  
Love the headline and comments.
 
2018-03-08 07:34:20 AM  

Thong_of_Zardoz: What's an M-1 Abrams?


"Something that's hard to change a track on, and for which you won't be given enough tools. So go to the Sears in Phenix City and buy a bunch of big sockets on sale. Make sure you get your name engraved on them or they'll vanish the first five minutes"
 
2018-03-08 07:35:07 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


It generally requires stupidity and a ditch that's juuuust deep enough.
 
2018-03-08 07:48:58 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


Low ground pressure and ice makes a 70 ton hockey puck. Without ice growsers it is incredibly dangerous to operate on slopes with these things in the winter and slightly less in the summer. Tanks are for killing, they don't care who.
 
2018-03-08 07:55:27 AM  

Smoking GNU: How in the name of Zeus' great big blue thundering butthole do you roll over a 60 ton tank?


If you look at the pictures of it farther down (assuming that's actually the tank in the article) you'll see a hill right behind it. They were probably trying to drive over the hill and fell off. Happens from time to time. I had a buddy from basic go out on an FTX (field training exercise) his first weekend at his first duty station, his tank commander drove him over a cliff. They flipped, and he hurt his back so bad that his military career was over. It can happen easily, since your're basically off-roading.
 
2018-03-08 08:34:00 AM  

LesserEvil: The article would be more helpful with pictures....

[img.fark.net image 534x401]


They helpfully included a picture of a model of the tank. The epitome if "What a tank may look like"
 
2018-03-08 08:50:58 AM  

relaxitsjustme: [img.fark.net image 440x659]


Just fire the gun.  It'll be fine, trust me.
 
2018-03-08 10:58:47 AM  
Like this?

The A Team - Tank Falling From The Sky Scene 2015
Youtube PiiK75igWLU
 
Displayed 50 of 63 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report