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(NBC New York)   Man spends the last $200 in his bank account on a fake hit man, instantly makes everybody reading this story feel better about their worst financial choices   ( nbcnewyork.com) divider line
    More: Fail, hit man, Organized crime, Rosquette, tour bus driver, undercover FBI agent, gas station operator, Pleading, KILL  
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3591 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2018 at 6:20 PM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-07 06:11:22 PM  
"And -- apparently because he was still having trouble raising money for the job -- he asked the hit man to first kill a gas station operator who kept a safe in a back room to pay for the other two killings."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 06:23:27 PM  
"Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.
 
2018-03-07 06:27:52 PM  

derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.


This.

Most reputable (disreputable?) hitmen are not freelancers. They're fixers for politicians, mob bosses, drug kingpins, and people like Erik Prince.

And they rarely touch metal for less than 15 grand.
 
2018-03-07 06:30:22 PM  

baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

This.

Most reputable (disreputable?) hitmen are not freelancers. They're fixers for politicians, mob bosses, drug kingpins, and people like Erik Prince.

And they rarely touch metal for less than 15 grand.


Alrighty, already 4 or 5 comments and you Farkers have *WAY* too many specific details about hiring a hit man.

*clicks on X to close thread*.

(whistles and walks away)
 
2018-03-07 06:31:46 PM  
You won't have bad financial decisions if you don't have any money.

i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size


/so poor...
 
2018-03-07 06:32:35 PM  
I'd have been a fake hit man for half that much.
 
2018-03-07 06:33:20 PM  
I half suspected this story was going to be about Sam Nunberg.
 
2018-03-07 06:35:03 PM  
I might be a bit peeved that my offing was only worth a couple hundred bucks. I'm sure sometime in the past it might have been done for free but still...
 
2018-03-07 06:37:09 PM  
Maybe he had a coupon.
 
2018-03-07 06:38:23 PM  
The rest of it he wasted.
 
2018-03-07 06:38:33 PM  
Now he'll never have to worry about money again.  Just his butthole.
 
2018-03-07 06:38:37 PM  

derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.


I used to live in a crack neighborhood.  You could get someone killed for about $20 of rock back then.  Farking crackheads.
 
2018-03-07 06:41:14 PM  
the undercover agent texted Rosquette to say he had killed the gas station attendant that morning and made it look like a robbery, adding that he got $12,000 from the safe.

Call me crazy, but that sounds like more than looking like a robbery.
 
2018-03-07 06:41:23 PM  
HITMAN # 2018 Game Trailer HD
Youtube Y89NlJConXs
 
2018-03-07 06:48:50 PM  
Man spends the last $200 in his bank account on a fake hit man, instantly makes everybody reading this story feel better about their worst financial choices

Getting married and having 3 kids? I dunno, kind of a toss-up.
 
2018-03-07 06:54:25 PM  

BigNumber12: Man spends the last $200 in his bank account on a fake hit man, instantly makes everybody reading this story feel better about their worst financial choices

Getting married and having 3 kids? I dunno, kind of a toss-up.


I use to boast that I never pad for sex.  Then, I went through a separation.
 
2018-03-07 06:55:14 PM  

ChipNASA: baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

This.

Most reputable (disreputable?) hitmen are not freelancers. They're fixers for politicians, mob bosses, drug kingpins, and people like Erik Prince.

And they rarely touch metal for less than 15 grand.

Alrighty, already 4 or 5 comments and you Farkers have *WAY* too many specific details about hiring a hit man.

*clicks on X to close thread*.

(whistles and walks away)


He knows a guy.
 
2018-03-07 07:00:46 PM  
$200?  I'd give a dirty glance at a target for $200.
No kids though.  I have standards.
 
2018-03-07 07:02:04 PM  
Well, he certainly rubbed one out, didn't he?
 
2018-03-07 07:05:48 PM  
What if he got into Bitcoin @ $19k? That'd be way more embarrassing.
 
2018-03-07 07:05:54 PM  

derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.


You need a pet to disappear?  I got your guy.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 07:07:58 PM  

Wendigogo: ChipNASA: baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"
He knows a guy.


Rumour had it (taken from some reasonably "non-fiction" source but likely as bad as the "are you a cop" literary legend) that part of joining the mob was to swear not to kill for money.  Presumably "mob hit men" are contractors to the mob or mobsters doing it as a favor.  Or more likely eventually they just cut out the middle man and put a price on the favor.  But I'm sure having money change hands helps the DA.
 
2018-03-07 07:09:44 PM  
Wow.  That's such a stupid story that nobody but a cop could make it up.

No surprise here of course, it was made up by cops.
 
2018-03-07 07:27:40 PM  
Accept no substitutes
hydra.cdn.sqexeu.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 07:28:13 PM  

DarkVader: Wow.  That's such a stupid story that nobody but a cop could make it up.

No surprise here of course, it was made up by cops.


You'd think - but other articles seem to indicate that that's exactly what happened.  Including phone intercepts, recordings, and the like making the case against this dude.  Never underestimate the power of farking stupid.
 
2018-03-07 07:28:49 PM  

derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.


Nobody in their right mind would steal $200 from someone so divorced from reality and willing to murder.
 
2018-03-07 07:29:16 PM  
Free room and board for $200? He is making out like thieves.
 
2018-03-07 07:33:25 PM  
Challenge accepted!

I once drunkenly bought a theremin in college for $300.
 
2018-03-07 07:33:50 PM  

baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

This.

Most reputable (disreputable?) hitmen are not freelancers. They're fixers for politicians, mob bosses, drug kingpins, and people like Erik Prince.

And they rarely touch metal for less than 15 grand.


I also agree to this based on my information exclusively gathered from TV and Movies.  I don't actually f*cking know what I'm talking about.  I'm hoping you guys know more than TV and movies.  You do, right?

Right?
 
2018-03-07 07:41:07 PM  
Farking.

Moran.
 
2018-03-07 07:46:15 PM  
If you are hiring a hit man and you don't personally know a hit man that hit man you hire is the cops. Thought that was a rule that everyone knew.
 
2018-03-07 07:50:25 PM  
A hit for only $200, I'm thinking.....
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 07:54:30 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

I used to live in a crack neighborhood.  You could get someone killed for about $20 of rock back then.  Farking crackheads.


but they are not reliable and are best disposed of after the fact. so you're better off DIY.
 
2018-03-07 07:55:26 PM  
So if they are not REAL hitmen and are actually LEOs, they have to give him his $200 back; right?

/adding insult to injury
//maybe they'll put it in his prison account
///What $200?
 
2018-03-07 08:07:36 PM  
Should have gone the DIY route
 
2018-03-07 08:17:15 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: Wendigogo: ChipNASA: baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"
He knows a guy.

Rumour had it (taken from some reasonably "non-fiction" source but likely as bad as the "are you a cop" literary legend) that part of joining the mob was to swear not to kill for money.  Presumably "mob hit men" are contractors to the mob or mobsters doing it as a favor.  Or more likely eventually they just cut out the middle man and put a price on the favor.  But I'm sure having money change hands helps the DA.


Mob hitmen kill only on orders (or are only supposed to at any rate). They don't take contracts, they don't freelance. They work for the mob, usually have a "legit" job for which they are paid a salary, and then periodically they get a call or an envelope with a name.

Sometimes the mob will take a contract out on someone, then the freelancers get involved.

/this is all just based on a bunch of true crime novels I read.
 
2018-03-07 08:17:21 PM  
This might be a case of "Guy pays $20,000 for hit.  Didn't realize he it was a cop he gave the $2000 to.  Police report indicates he made the $200 payment when informed of the "hit" "

 I mean, it's as believable as a guy thinking you can buy a hit for $200.
 
2018-03-07 09:06:57 PM  
He's paying top dollar.  Her just needs a list,  you know a guy.

typeset-beta.imgix.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 09:15:03 PM  
I bet someone 3k that Trump wouldn't win.

They were never going to pay me the 3k they owed me, so I didn't really lose anything.

Yup, Subby's headline checks out.
 
2018-03-07 09:21:43 PM  

sinko swimo: NotThatGuyAgain: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

I used to live in a crack neighborhood.  You could get someone killed for about $20 of rock back then.  Farking crackheads.

but they are not reliable and are best disposed of after the fact. so you're better off DIY.


They always got caught, and quickly.

There was an incident not 100 feet from my front door where two crackheads ripped off another and shot him dead.  Then one of them shot and killed the other to eliminate the witness.  It was over about $50 of crack and the guy was arrested less than an hour later.

Sad thing was he was out of prison in less time than a moron I knew who sold a kilo of blow to an undercover cop.  Actually 1,043 grams so with the charges he may as well have sold them 100 kilos.

/stay away from coke, kids.
 
2018-03-07 10:38:05 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: sinko swimo: NotThatGuyAgain: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

I used to live in a crack neighborhood.  You could get someone killed for about $20 of rock back then.  Farking crackheads.

but they are not reliable and are best disposed of after the fact. so you're better off DIY.

They always got caught, and quickly.

There was an incident not 100 feet from my front door where two crackheads ripped off another and shot him dead.  Then one of them shot and killed the other to eliminate the witness.  It was over about $50 of crack and the guy was arrested less than an hour later.

Sad thing was he was out of prison in less time than a moron I knew who sold a kilo of blow to an undercover cop.  Actually 1,043 grams so with the charges he may as well have sold them 100 kilos.

/stay away from coke, kids.


coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.
 
2018-03-07 11:06:31 PM  

duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.


Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.
 
2018-03-07 11:12:14 PM  

wax_on: If you are hiring a hit man and you don't personally know a hit man that hit man you hire is the cops. Thought that was a rule that everyone knew.


Tim Lambesis nods approvingly.....
 
2018-03-07 11:24:25 PM  

Smackledorfer: duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.

Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.


Um.  No.  It has nothing to do with race but thanks for bringing that into the discussion.  What's next, bringing Trump into the equation?

Ass.
 
2018-03-07 11:40:04 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: Smackledorfer: duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.

Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.

Um.  No.  It has nothing to do with race but thanks for bringing that into the discussion.  What's next, bringing Trump into the equation?

Ass.


Do your ignorant self a favor and compare crack and cocaine prison sentences.

This has fark all to do with Trump, and everything to do with poor/black vs rich/white.

The only thing objectively scary about crack is that people you don't identify with use it more.

Fwiw, I'm 90+%income white male.
 
2018-03-07 11:49:25 PM  

baronbloodbath: derpes_simplex: "Today, we foiled this murder-for-hire scheme, sparing three innocent lives a most unfortunate fate,"

Oh STFU no actual hitman would have agreed to kill so much as a dog for $200.  The best he could have done is find someone to steal it from him and not return his calls.

This.

Most reputable (disreputable?) hitmen are not freelancers. They're fixers for politicians, mob bosses, drug kingpins, and people like Erik Prince.

And they rarely touch metal for less than 15 grand.


It should be somewhere around 20-30 grand to do a hit and that's still on the low side.
 
2018-03-07 11:52:00 PM  
Ok I compiled links showing the sentencing disparity between crack and cocaine and tried posting them a dozen times.

Fark refused to let me post. fark you drew.

Anyways, if you process cocaine into crack you get a massively inflated sentence, for no logical reason.

So to the person who called me an ass, go fark yourself. Crack is just cocaine processed down with baking soda and water, and associated with blacks.
 
2018-03-07 11:53:23 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: Smackledorfer: duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.

Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.

Um.  No.  It has nothing to do with race but thanks for bringing that into the discussion.  What's next, bringing Trump into the equation?

Ass.


Oh, by all means justify the difference in sentencing without race. I'll wait.
 
2018-03-08 01:47:09 AM  

Smackledorfer: duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.

Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.


Crack is disgusting stuff. Coke (if it's actually coke) is most definitely not the same. Doesn't mean it makes you crazy, not what I'm talking about.

It's been many years since, but I recall coke being $50 a bit wrapped in tin foil about the size of the tip of my thumb. I imagine the price is much higher now. I remember crack being some nasty looking stuff, but it wasn't cheap either. cheaper. dont know how cheap, the people I knew never bought it. just the way they would buy coke was already scary enough - swapping money in abandoned buildings in the dark. one time this guy walked into the house holding a handful of clearly fake (movie prop) bills. the transaction had been so uncomfortably sketchy that he hadn't even bothered to check his change, he just ran out the door. haha.

anyway, you're right that it probably got demonized as a black people thing. but tbh, you can't pretend stomped up coke isn't disgusting. a bit of pills, a bit of this a bit of that...
 
2018-03-08 03:07:30 AM  

duenor: Smackledorfer: duenor: coke and crack are not the same, as whitney houston loved to point out.

Crack is only the devil due to association with blacks.

Don't be fooled by racist policies.

Crack is disgusting stuff. Coke (if it's actually coke) is most definitely not the same. Doesn't mean it makes you crazy, not what I'm talking about.

It's been many years since, but I recall coke being $50 a bit wrapped in tin foil about the size of the tip of my thumb. I imagine the price is much higher now. I remember crack being some nasty looking stuff, but it wasn't cheap either. cheaper. dont know how cheap, the people I knew never bought it. just the way they would buy coke was already scary enough - swapping money in abandoned buildings in the dark. one time this guy walked into the house holding a handful of clearly fake (movie prop) bills. the transaction had been so uncomfortably sketchy that he hadn't even bothered to check his change, he just ran out the door. haha.

anyway, you're right that it probably got demonized as a black people thing. but tbh, you can't pretend stomped up coke isn't disgusting. a bit of pills, a bit of this a bit of that...


8 year old poster I never realized existed until two weeks ago. .

I farkied you as a racist piece of shiat on the the topic of blacks vs whites in prison the moment I realized you existed.

I saved the fark thread 9928275, and it turned TF retroactively. .
Hmmmmmmm.

Gfy. Gfy you racist troll, and gfy drew.
 
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