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(Guardian)   Latest study from the Ric Romero Institute suggests adult children who move back home worsen parents' quality of life   ( theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, family home, London School of Economics, young adults, Quality, Mother, adult children, Europe, Family  
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1930 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2018 at 11:20 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-03-07 09:57:53 AM  
Funny how quickly it can go from "Why don't you visit more often?" to "Why don't you f*ck off already?"
 
2018-03-07 10:34:56 AM  
I should forward this to my parents. After 9 years abroad, I'm being made to take a mandatory 12 month holiday from the place I consider home.
 
2018-03-07 10:47:32 AM  

Gubbo: I should forward this to my parents. After 9 years abroad, I'm being made to take a mandatory 12 month holiday from the place I consider home.


From the Cayman's?  How come?
 
2018-03-07 10:59:31 AM  

fly_gal: Gubbo: I should forward this to my parents. After 9 years abroad, I'm being made to take a mandatory 12 month holiday from the place I consider home.

From the Cayman's?  How come?


You can only stay 9 years without becoming a permanent resident. And living there for 9 years doesn't qualify you.

You can apply, but because I've only just become responsible enough to think about buying a house, I won't qualify.

/why yes, I do have a lot of sympathy with the Dreamers
 
2018-03-07 11:02:50 AM  

Gubbo: fly_gal: Gubbo: I should forward this to my parents. After 9 years abroad, I'm being made to take a mandatory 12 month holiday from the place I consider home.

From the Cayman's?  How come?

You can only stay 9 years without becoming a permanent resident. And living there for 9 years doesn't qualify you.

You can apply, but because I've only just become responsible enough to think about buying a house, I won't qualify.

/why yes, I do have a lot of sympathy with the Dreamers


My mother used to live there.  She loved it.  Sorry you have to go.
 
2018-03-07 11:23:17 AM  

fly_gal: Gubbo: fly_gal: Gubbo: I should forward this to my parents. After 9 years abroad, I'm being made to take a mandatory 12 month holiday from the place I consider home.

From the Cayman's?  How come?

You can only stay 9 years without becoming a permanent resident. And living there for 9 years doesn't qualify you.

You can apply, but because I've only just become responsible enough to think about buying a house, I won't qualify.

/why yes, I do have a lot of sympathy with the Dreamers

My mother used to live there.  She loved it.  Sorry you have to go.


You and me both. Well 12 months isn't that long........
 
2018-03-07 11:23:41 AM  
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2018-03-07 11:26:05 AM  
Adult parents who move back in with their children also worsen their quality of life.
 
2018-03-07 11:27:22 AM  
good. They can be reminded daily of the failures they brought in to this world.
 
2018-03-07 11:28:48 AM  
As a group, parents would prefer their offspring support themselves?

As a group, the adult offspring would prefer to be able to do so.
 
2018-03-07 11:31:08 AM  
Crimped sex lives for everyone involved.
 
2018-03-07 11:32:14 AM  

professionalenabler: [scontent-sea1-1.cdninstagram.com image 480x480]


If you can't embarrass your kids out of your house, you've failed as a parent.
 
2018-03-07 11:32:52 AM  
Guess they should have voted better all those years.

"Mom, before we split our daily meal, tell me again why you felt Ronald Reagan was an excellent leader."
 
2018-03-07 11:34:26 AM  
Did you help your mother or did you zip up?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 11:34:31 AM  
Maybe they shouldn't have voted to cut every single lifeline, safety net, and other social program that let them move away from their parents' house so soon.
 
2018-03-07 11:35:27 AM  
You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.
 
2018-03-07 11:35:44 AM  
I'm sure the fact that everyone is probably trying to work three jobs to pay the bills doesn't help either.
 
2018-03-07 11:37:57 AM  

Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.


Just because something's true doesn't make it right.
 
2018-03-07 11:39:56 AM  

Sophont: Maybe they shouldn't have voted to cut every single lifeline, safety net, and other social program that let them move away from their parents' house so soon.


Don't forget that now everyone is supposed to go to college, and tuition has skyrocketed.
 
2018-03-07 11:41:16 AM  
I did that when I lost my job in 2012 or 2011?  Worst 3 or 4 months ever.  Sucked for me and sucked for my folks.

Nice thing is they had a spare bedroom, Netflix, high speed internet, and a spare car I could borrow - so thanks mom and dad for that!
 
2018-03-07 11:42:08 AM  

Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.


In traditional societies, sure.  I wonder what the stats actually look like, broken down by country?
 
2018-03-07 11:42:58 AM  
I was 41 when I moved back home with my 82 year old grandmother who raised me. Of course, that was to take care of her for her final 3 years, in which she deteriorated and her quality of life went down, so I guess the article is spot on...
 
2018-03-07 11:42:59 AM  

chaoswolf: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.

Just because something's true doesn't make it right.


Certainly it depends on the family involved, but I've known a few here in the States that have worked out well for everyone involved.  It's not a bad model if everyone can get along.
 
2018-03-07 11:43:01 AM  
No wonder Trump is always angry.
 
2018-03-07 11:44:10 AM  
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2018-03-07 11:44:10 AM  
Been there - presently experiencing that

'Would one of you millennials tear yourself away from that anime cartoon & feed the damn cat?'
 
2018-03-07 11:46:50 AM  
Sweet dreams in your new old room!

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2018-03-07 11:47:37 AM  
That's because it's never the rich ones that move back in.
 
2018-03-07 11:50:13 AM  

walkerhound: Adult parents who move back in with their children also worsen their quality of life.


Came here to say im looking forward to a little payback.
 
2018-03-07 11:50:46 AM  
All three of my adult daughters have moved back home at least once.

Only one of them didn't end up getting kicked out because of their behavior in my home.
She was the one that didn't revert back to childhood.
 
2018-03-07 11:58:13 AM  

kindms: good. They can be reminded daily of the failures they brought in to this world.


This is the same generation that mocks thd older ones as outdated, racist, homophobic, the root cause of evil capitalism, screwed up the world for them, etc....

And these farks want to move home? Your rent just went up to desl with your shiat again.
 
2018-03-07 11:58:25 AM  

Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: chaoswolf: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.

Just because something's true doesn't make it right.

Certainly it depends on the family involved, but I've known a few here in the States that have worked out well for everyone involved.  It's not a bad model if everyone can get along.


Except, it is a Bad Move for the school districts in North America.   School districts whose capacity is based on 'single family dwellings' and an expected family of 4 average.

Suddenly,  you've got multiple homes in the school district with a family of 12 or more and the schools are overwhelmed.

I get why it happens, but, North America as a society is uniquely unsuited for it at this point in time.
 
2018-03-07 12:00:03 PM  

EyeballKid: Guess they should have voted better all those years.

"Mom, before we split our daily meal, tell me again why you felt Ronald Reagan was an excellent leader."


spot. on. sure many dislike Trump but holy Hannah the predecessors - holy shiat.
 
2018-03-07 12:02:07 PM  
When I was getting divorced, we sold our house when we separated. Due to timelines not working out, the sale closed before I could move into my new place. I ended up back with my parents for a few weeks.

My god, it sucked. My one saving grace was that I was working long hours and had a long commute, so I spent very few waking hours there.

My parents are good people, but I spent enough of my life living with them.

/Oddly enough, the old man suggested I stay there longer to save up money
//Or at least I think that's what he was saying as the door closed behind me...
 
2018-03-07 12:16:39 PM  

Sophont: Maybe they shouldn't have voted to cut every single lifeline, safety net, and other social program that let them move away from their parents' house so soon.


Between then and now? The oldest millennials are 30 or so. That's pmenty if time to get off the teat* and figure life out for yourself, not the gov't or your parents

*certain conditions apply, I'm not heartless
 
2018-03-07 12:20:57 PM  

Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.


So what? I don't live on $2/day salary that requires 25 people to make rent to a slumlord. I like my space.
 
2018-03-07 12:21:09 PM  
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2018-03-07 12:22:51 PM  
When we bought our house, we expected to have the in-laws move in at some point in the future.  Instead, they sold their home and moved to Florida.  Then as they aged, they whined about no one coming to visit.  So their youngest son started visiting, and when he got laid off, he moved in.  It was a 55 and over type community, and his social life dropped to zip.  Meanwhile, our oversized house with the unfinished basement is closer to being paid off, and one of my kids will never be independent, so we've been planning to finish the basement for him to have a sense of independence.  One of my other kids just got hired as an electrician's helper.  He asked about setting up his checking account to direct 20% of his pay into retirement, 20% towards a car, 20% to his parents' savings, and the rest to his debit card.  He wants to start helping with expenses he said because he wants us and the never leaving kid to have a place.  It sounded so noble until we realized he wants us in one place and he's looking for his own somewhere far, far away!  At this point, who cares?  The sheetrock is being ordered this weekend.
 
2018-03-07 12:25:24 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: chaoswolf: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.

Just because something's true doesn't make it right.

Certainly it depends on the family involved, but I've known a few here in the States that have worked out well for everyone involved.  It's not a bad model if everyone can get along.

Except, it is a Bad Move for the school districts in North America.   School districts whose capacity is based on 'single family dwellings' and an expected family of 4 average.

Suddenly,  you've got multiple homes in the school district with a family of 12 or more and the schools are overwhelmed.

I get why it happens, but, North America as a society is uniquely unsuited for it at this point in time.


I mean, maybe we should not be tying school funding to property taxes anyway....?
 
2018-03-07 12:26:50 PM  
 I'm proud to say I've never stayed a single night with my parents since I moved out at 19. Of course, my spending habits are not normal;  no cable, satellite , or home internet. I always buy a cheap phone and only when I manage to break my old one. I eat at home most every night, drive a 15 year old car,  and don't buy video game/ systems until they're last-gen. I did learn pretty quick that cheap clothes don't last, but if you actually pay attention to sales,  you can get mid - range and better brands at less than Wal-Mart prices.
     Life isn't easy, but most of us are the root of our own problems, is my point.

/ yes, I know my situation isn't the same as everyone else's.
// no, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with living with ones parents
///i just wanted to share.
 
2018-03-07 12:32:29 PM  
Latest study from the Ric Romero Institute suggests adult children who move back home worsen parents' quality of life
 
2018-03-07 12:37:11 PM  
Economic feedback loop.

Parents become GrandParents while still supporting their children. They take on more work to support 2, maybe 3 households. They never retire and they wonder why their kids cant find a job.

Kids cant find a job because parents never retire.
 
2018-03-07 12:40:52 PM  
It's pathetic that people move back in with their parents at all, in the richest country on Earth.

We could have had living wages in the past 30 years, but noooooo...

Right wing paradigm shift since Reagan.
 
2018-03-07 12:48:18 PM  
It gets worse when they bring their kids.
 
2018-03-07 12:59:22 PM  
fly_gal:
/why yes, I do have a lot of sympathy with the Dreamers

My mother used to live there.  She loved it.  Sorry you have to go.


The US is crazy in that sense. I got my degree here, I bought a home, I paid it off, I am doing aerospace work that has already been deemed strategically significant, GIVE ME MY PAPERS ALREADY.
 
2018-03-07 01:11:26 PM  
One of my daughters and her kids has moved back in with my ex.
99.98% due to the idiot manchild who abdicated on his parental duties.

Every time I talk to my ex, she complains about it.

/I laugh
//just a little
///very quietly
\\\\to myself
 
2018-03-07 01:16:04 PM  

Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: ObscureNameHere: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: chaoswolf: Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate: You know, in most parts of the world homes are multi-generational.

Just because something's true doesn't make it right.

Certainly it depends on the family involved, but I've known a few here in the States that have worked out well for everyone involved.  It's not a bad model if everyone can get along.

Except, it is a Bad Move for the school districts in North America.   School districts whose capacity is based on 'single family dwellings' and an expected family of 4 average.

Suddenly,  you've got multiple homes in the school district with a family of 12 or more and the schools are overwhelmed.

I get why it happens, but, North America as a society is uniquely unsuited for it at this point in time.

I mean, maybe we should not be tying school funding to property taxes anyway....?


Yeah, infrastructure strain is another issue.
Anyways, in my province of Ontario in Canada, school funding preference is declared on income taxes.  Basically 'Public' or 'Catholic' (long history on why that is), and I think if you don't indicate it just goes to Public.
 
2018-03-07 01:19:41 PM  
Moved back home after getting out of the army in 1970 at 22. Stayed a couple months then got my own place. Fast forward 35 years. Dad who had been living alone since mom died in 96 got to the point where he couldn't live alone anymore. Mrs. Huntceet and I who had become empty nesters the previous fall decided we could take him in. He insisted on paying us room and board so I just took that money and put it in a separate account just to keep track of it. It was sort of nice having someone always home sort of as a house watcher. It was about seven years later that he decided he couldn't drive anymore because his reflexes weren't what they used to be. That was right about the time I had decided to retire so things worked out pretty well for taking him around to his various doctor appointments etc. Last summer he asked me to take him to the bank to do some business. He added me to his bank account as an owner. Something was up and as it happens he died last month at 95. So we've got 14 years of memories of living with dad and a sizable amount of money in the bank. According to his wishes I'll be dividing the money in the joint account amongst me and my four brothers and sister. The house is quieter now and me and Mrs. Huntceet have gone back to walking around naked again.
 
2018-03-07 01:56:09 PM  
I came back home at age 28 because I was having problems with my PTSD from serving in Iraq. My relationship with my parents deteriorated and now I haven't spoken to them in 5 years. They were zero help with my problems and now I have more. that asshole is the piece of shiat that talked me into serving, enlisting ten days before 9/11. Serving was the biggest mistake of my entire life, but at least it helped facilitate cutting ties with shiatty people, even if they are family.
 
2018-03-07 02:24:45 PM  
I just want to know how you get the kids to go in the first place
Its going to kill the wife when daughter moves out/if ever
 
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