If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WTKR)   Funny how often 'shots fired' and 'Waffle House' appear together   ( wtkr.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Virginia, Sentara Norfolk General, Norfolk Police Department, Waffle House, Norfolk, Virginia, Waffle House restaurant, early Wednesday morning, non-life threatening injuries  
•       •       •

2075 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2018 at 9:05 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-03-07 07:46:41 AM  
Although, I can see Trump running into. A Waffle House.
 
2018-03-07 07:59:15 AM  
Guess Waffle House needs to start arming its employees.
 
2018-03-07 08:48:12 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Guess Waffle House needs to start arming its employees.


Then the shooters will simply go to softer targets.  Denny's could really use the business.
 
2018-03-07 09:00:19 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Then the shooters will simply go to softer targets.  Denny's could really use the business.


I'm seeing a way for this to open up an entirely new line of advertising for these sort of "fast casual" restaurants, though. Because, let's face it, they've all basically hit the wall when it comes to food quality. I mean, how many more ways can Denny's try to get you to eat one of its Grand Slams? But if we introduce the concept of diner safety to the equation -- well, that could be a game changer. Like, maybe Denny's airs a new ad where a diverse group of hungry diners comes in and orders a round of Grand Slam Breakfasts, and they eat them while music plays and the narrator talks about quality and low price, and then they all drive away into the rising sun to face an exciting new day. Good ad, right? But now, the very next ad starts with the same family walking into the same Denny's, and the viewer is saying, "huh, guess they doubled up." But right as the narrator starts talking, a gunman bursts into the restaurant and kills everybody. The final shot is him driving away on a motorcycle with the diverse diners' heads in a bag. Then we cut to a similar scene with new diners in a Waffle House. The same gunman pulls up, drops the bag of heads at his feet, and walks inside. But just as he pulls his gun, BLAM BLAM BLAM. Three precision shots drop him dead -- one from the short order cook, one from the waitress, and one from the busboy. The diners look  up at the camera, smile, and keep eating. Fade to slogan: Waffle House. Good Food Fast. Good Food Safe.
 
2018-03-07 09:11:48 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Pocket Ninja: Guess Waffle House needs to start arming its employees.

Then the shooters will simply go to softer targets.  Denny's could really use the business.


they sure as shiat know not to step to chuck e. cheese.
 
2018-03-07 09:12:42 AM  
"Whatcha shootin' for?"
 
2018-03-07 09:15:40 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Its not guns one has to worry about at Waffle House...it's the waffles...
 
2018-03-07 09:15:43 AM  

Pocket Ninja: I'm seeing a way for this to open up an entirely new line of advertising for these sort of "fast casual" restaurants, though. Because, let's face it, they've all basically hit the wall when it comes to food quality. I mean, how many more ways can Denny's try to get you to eat one of its Grand Slams? But if we introduce the concept of diner safety to the equation -- well, that could be a game changer. Like, maybe Denny's airs a new ad where a diverse group of hungry diners comes in and orders a round of Grand Slam Breakfasts, and they eat them while music plays and the narrator talks about quality and low price, and then they all drive away into the rising sun to face an exciting new day. Good ad, right? But now, the very next ad starts with the same family walking into the same Denny's, and the viewer is saying, "huh, guess they doubled up." But right as the narrator starts talking, a gunman bursts into the restaurant and kills everybody. The final shot is him driving away on a motorcycle with the diverse diners' heads in a bag. Then we cut to a similar scene with new diners in a Waffle House. The same gunman pulls up, drops the bag of heads at his feet, and walks inside. But just as he pulls his gun, BLAM BLAM BLAM. Three precision shots drop him dead -- one from the short order cook, one from the waitress, and one from the busboy. The diners look  up at the camera, smile, and keep eating. Fade to slogan: Waffle House. Good Food Fast. Good Food Safe.


Just make sure you get some smiling kids in there, have them look straight at the camera, so you can see who the hard-working men and women of Waffle House protected on this day.  Other than that, I can't improve on your commercial.

Lucky for you, I know a guy who works for Waffle House, he's a very important guy, makes the waffles.  I'll let him know about your ad, it should get to the Chief Officer of Delicious Eats in no time.

Not many people can crack the CODE, but dammit, you sure did.
 
2018-03-07 09:16:27 AM  
Considering how many Waffle House establishments are gun store adjacent, you'd think there would be more "good guys with guns" to prevent this type of thing.
 
2018-03-07 09:18:00 AM  

johnny queso: they sure as shiat know not to step to chuck e. cheese.


Any time I'm preparing for one of my professional fights, I try to get two or three days in at the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.  It's absolutely vicious stuff, my coaches wouldn't even let me think about it until I got my purple belt.  But even then, you gotta be ready.
 
2018-03-07 09:19:24 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Just make sure you get some smiling kids in there, have them look straight at the camera, so you can see who the hard-working men and women of Waffle House

img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2018-03-07 09:19:38 AM  

Mike_LowELL: Pocket Ninja: Guess Waffle House needs to start arming its employees.

Then the shooters will simply go to softer targets.  Denny's could really use the business.


Our town's Denny's closed last year.  :(  Not sure where our shooters would go.  Maybe Huddle House.
 
2018-03-07 09:27:21 AM  
"We'd like to send you notifications."

Does ANYBODY ever say yes to that?
 
2018-03-07 09:28:47 AM  

Yanks_RSJ: Considering how many Waffle House establishments are gun store adjacent, you'd think there would be more "good guys with guns" to prevent this type of thing.


I've never once seen a WH next to a gun store.
 
2018-03-07 09:30:00 AM  
Log Cabin Boyz vs Jemimaz
Sticky situation
 
2018-03-07 09:32:05 AM  
Waffle House is where all the former Trump officials are going to be working in a few years.  It is the only place where their toxic resumes would be a plus.

"Oh I see you are used to working in a complete clusterfark.  We have an opening on night shift."
 
2018-03-07 09:33:50 AM  
I'm certainly more likely to go to a Waffle House after a few shots.
 
2018-03-07 09:34:48 AM  
Huddle House it is then. I'm sure it's safer.
 
2018-03-07 09:35:17 AM  

winedrinkingman: Waffle House is where all the former Trump officials are going to be working in a few years.  It is the only place where their toxic resumes would be a plus.

"Oh I see you are used to working in a complete clusterfark.  We have an opening on night shift."


What has 7 eyes and 12 teeth?


The night crew at Waffle House

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 09:36:31 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 09:40:05 AM  

Mike_LowELL: johnny queso: they sure as shiat know not to step to chuck e. cheese.

Any time I'm preparing for one of my professional fights, I try to get two or three days in at the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.  It's absolutely vicious stuff, my coaches wouldn't even let me think about it until I got my purple belt.  But even then, you gotta be ready.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 09:42:01 AM  

NotThatGuyAgain: "We'd like to send you notifications."

Does ANYBODY ever say yes to that?


"HI, I SEE YOU'RE USING AN AD BLOCKER, WOULD YOU CONSIDER TURNING IT OFF?"
"THIS WEBSITE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION."
"WE'D LIKE TO SEND YOU NOTIFICATIONS."
"WAIT, DON'T GO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR FREE EMAIL NEWSLETTER?"
"SPIN THIS WHEEL TO WIN A NEW IPAD!!!!"
 
2018-03-07 09:42:01 AM  

NotThatGuyAgain: "We'd like to send you notifications."

Does ANYBODY ever say yes to that?


If so, what does it do exactly and is it reversible?
 
2018-03-07 10:13:19 AM  

steklo: winedrinkingman: Waffle House is where all the former Trump officials are going to be working in a few years.  It is the only place where their toxic resumes would be a plus.

"Oh I see you are used to working in a complete clusterfark.  We have an opening on night shift."

What has 7 eyes and 12 teeth?


The night crew at Waffle House

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


first time in my life I saw someone with gold teeth was a waitress in a Waffle House. blew my farking mind.
 
2018-03-07 10:16:45 AM  

Mike_LowELL: johnny queso: they sure as shiat know not to step to chuck e. cheese.

Any time I'm preparing for one of my professional fights, I try to get two or three days in at the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.  It's absolutely vicious stuff, my coaches wouldn't even let me think about it until I got my purple belt.  But even then, you gotta be ready.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 10:22:06 AM  
"I've seen a gun five times in my life. Three of those times were at a Waffle House." -Jim Gaffigan
 
2018-03-07 10:22:28 AM  

sinko swimo: first time in my life I saw someone with gold teeth was a waitress in a Waffle House. blew my farking mind.


My wife is a yankee, never been south of the Mason Dixon line and so while visiting my family down in GA, I took her to a waffle house. I told her that joke about the 7 eyes and 12 teeth...sure enough, our waitress comes over and opens her mouth...Missing teeth. The wife looks at me and I look at my wife and we did our best not to laugh by putting our heads down into the menu.

The booth we sat at was next to the counter. At that particular section was the kitchen garbage pail. So anytime staff had to toss something it was right next to our table. It turned off my wife, big time.

After we left, and are in the car, the wife turns to me and tells me never ever ever take her to Waffle House again.
 
2018-03-07 10:29:11 AM  

steklo: winedrinkingman: Waffle House is where all the former Trump officials are going to be working in a few years.  It is the only place where their toxic resumes would be a plus.

"Oh I see you are used to working in a complete clusterfark.  We have an opening on night shift."

What has 7 eyes and 12 teeth?


The night crew at Waffle House

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

img.fark.netView Full Size

-----

I just can't let this slide.... the hell is going on with the fuzzy fowl on the counter next to the waffle station? At least pluck the plumage off the thing before bringing it up front in view of the customers.
 
2018-03-07 10:34:41 AM  

DiggityDynomite: I just can't let this slide.... the hell is going on with the fuzzy fowl on the counter next to the waffle station? At least pluck the plumage off the thing before bringing it up front in view of the customers.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 10:42:40 AM  
are waffle house and shots fired not synonymous? Imagine: "Attention officers, we have a domestic dispute in which waffle houses have occurred. I repeat waffle houses." Not as funny now that i wrote it out.
 
2018-03-07 10:47:36 AM  

cilvre: are waffle house and shots fired not synonymous? Imagine: "Attention officers, we have a domestic dispute in which waffle houses have occurred. I repeat waffle houses." Not as funny now that i wrote it out.


I used to be in a bar band in NC back in the day. After a gig, at 2AM or so we would head over to  Waffle House. (usually the only food places that were open at that time). But we would also pick the ones that had cops either in the parking lot or inside. We would park the car, look inside first. If it looked crowded or rowdy, we left.

No point in risking our lives for a freaking under cooked waffle and stale cup of coffee.

Sitting At The Counter Of A Waffle House
Youtube K2p7YFWvjBs
 
2018-03-07 10:48:16 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Usually it's a brawl, so really bad day I guess. RIP Waffle bangers
 
2018-03-07 10:50:50 AM  
Nothing good happens at a Waffle House after 10pm.
 
2018-03-07 10:51:10 AM  
I grew up near an all-night diner that appeared every week in the local paper's police blotter. Every Friday or Saturday night, or both, some drunk would get in a fight with the cook. I guess it was the place to go if you'd been kicked out of Denny's one too many times.
 
2018-03-07 10:58:42 AM  

steklo: After we left, and are in the car, the wife turns to me and tells me never ever ever take her to Waffle House again.


I don't live where there are Waffle Houses. However, I have read (probably on Fark) where people praise their omelettes or hash browns or whatever. My experience while travelling in southern parts is that their...wait for it...WAFFLES are the best* thing they serve. So I don't get why people go there for other things - it's in the name, people!

*They're not fantastic, but they're better than Denny's, IHOP, etc.
 
2018-03-07 11:01:36 AM  

Hoopy Frood: I grew up near an all-night diner that appeared every week in the local paper's police blotter. Every Friday or Saturday night, or both, some drunk would get in a fight with the cook. I guess it was the place to go if you'd been kicked out of Denny's one too many times.


There is a Denny's near where I live which, the first thing that Google Maps shows, is a quote from an article about how it was one of the top local health department violators.
 
2018-03-07 11:01:49 AM  
Even more common?  "Waffle House" and "smothered".
 
2018-03-07 11:06:45 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: steklo: After we left, and are in the car, the wife turns to me and tells me never ever ever take her to Waffle House again.

I don't live where there are Waffle Houses. However, I have read (probably on Fark) where people praise their omelettes or hash browns or whatever. My experience while travelling in southern parts is that their...wait for it...WAFFLES are the best* thing they serve. So I don't get why people go there for other things - it's in the name, people!

*They're not fantastic, but they're better than Denny's, IHOP, etc.


I rag on Waffle House but at the same time, I love Waffle House. I find them interesting, and cheap and never had a bad meal.
 
2018-03-07 11:09:09 AM  
Once you get south of the Mason-Dixon line there are Waffle Houses on every street (both sides) and every corner. If you are driving on an over pass or bridge in a major southern city you will see them everywhere you look. Because, of their sheer numbers, I believe it is mathematically inevitable that these things happen at Waffle House on a regular basis.
 
2018-03-07 11:12:43 AM  
After a major disaster the Federales survey for Waffle House closures to use as the indicator of shiatt hitting the fan severity.

Waffle House Index - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_H​ouse_Index
The Waffle House Index is an informal metric used by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to determine the effect of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disasterrecovery. "If you get there and the Waffle House is closed? That's really bad. That's when you go to work." ...
Missing: federales survey
 
2018-03-07 11:16:07 AM  
I won't step foot in one again. Not just because of the hoodrats and gang bangaz potentially trying to keep it real, but because the last time we took the kids there it really sucked. The waffles are different than they used to be. They tasted nothing like a good waffle, but frozen and generic. They really cheaped out on their ingredients, so I won't be returning.
 
2018-03-07 11:19:14 AM  
I blame the corn syrup.
 
2018-03-07 11:26:55 AM  

steklo: I rag on Waffle House but at the same time, I love Waffle House. I find them interesting, and cheap and never had a bad meal.


My main criterion is whether the bacon is sufficiently crispy. I hate chewy, undercooked bacon.

Something I discovered is that you can get bacon totally crispy using a microwave, but I don't think anybody does it commercially, because word would get out and people would be horrified. Microwaved bacon sounds terrible, but it really works.
 
2018-03-07 11:30:42 AM  

foo monkey: Although, I can see Trump running into. A Waffle House.


He wouldn't run anywhere. I'm surprised he hasn't done this already:

nathanbickel.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 11:46:26 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: steklo: I rag on Waffle House but at the same time, I love Waffle House. I find them interesting, and cheap and never had a bad meal.

My main criterion is whether the bacon is sufficiently crispy. I hate chewy, undercooked bacon.

Something I discovered is that you can get bacon totally crispy using a microwave, but I don't think anybody does it commercially, because word would get out and people would be horrified. Microwaved bacon sounds terrible, but it really works.


Big fan of bacon. One could cook it on the motor of a car and I would still eat it...
 
2018-03-07 11:51:11 AM  
scattered, smothered and splatted
 
2018-03-07 01:10:35 PM  

steklo: DiggityDynomite: I just can't let this slide.... the hell is going on with the fuzzy fowl on the counter next to the waffle station? At least pluck the plumage off the thing before bringing it up front in view of the customers.

[img.fark.net image 648x484]


They should sprinkle those scattered nuggets of goodness seen all around the waffle-presses onto the waffles... They're like the 'burnt bits' that are the most treasured part of good BBQ.
 
2018-03-07 01:11:37 PM  
Maybe waffle houses should start cultivating a better client base.  Maybe less gun toting.
 
2018-03-07 01:21:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 04:14:41 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: foo monkey: Although, I can see Trump running into. A Waffle House.

He wouldn't run anywhere. I'm surprised he hasn't done this already:

[nathanbickel.files.wordpress.com image 595x327]


From the upcoming movie, Waffle House Down ...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
Displayed 50 of 51 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report