If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   The stock market freaked out last August when Trump's chief economic adviser Gary Cohn threatened to quit. Now that he has, let's peek at the Dow Jones futures for tomorrow morning...(Insert Wilhelm Scream here)   ( money.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Dow Jones, Dow Jones Industrial Average, Dow Jones Indices, S&P Dow Jones, Jones Indices LLC, Dow Jones & Company, Dow Jones Trademark, Trademark  
•       •       •

6230 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2018 at 2:57 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



97 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-03-06 09:33:33 PM  
There goes all the 401K's left in the world.
 
2018-03-06 09:42:47 PM  

theteacher: There goes all the 401K's left in the world.


Daily triple-digit moves are quickly becoming the norm with a market at this level. Double-digit moves are the abberation.

With that said, don't be surprised by a 700 or 800 point plummet by the close. Maybe even a grand. No wonder Cohn announced this after the markets closed Tuesday.

These Futures are incredibly optimistic right now. The tariffs, trade wars, and Cohn reckoning collides and explodes tomorrow morning in a triple blowout.
 
2018-03-06 09:45:42 PM  
Wanna hear something scarier?  National Security Advisor John Bolton.
 
2018-03-06 10:06:25 PM  
Wilhelm's not gonna be enough.

The Howie Scream Sound Effect
Youtube wzdF0bVH6e8
 
2018-03-07 12:33:04 AM  
Cohn drafted and almost submit his resignation after Trump couldn't denounce Nazis at UVA. A woman was murdered and a dozen injured by a no-shiat Nazi, the President couldn't say, "Nazis R Bad", and Cohn almost resigned. But tariffs?  That's over the line. Thanks for showing us the way, Gary. This is the kind of leadership we deserve.
 
2018-03-07 02:12:56 AM  
so trump is incredibly unpopular, has pissed off the military beyond belief and now he's going to make a lot of rich people considerably less rich AND very likely make more than a few of them poor.  this on top of him having sex with porn stars and claiming he wants to become president for life.

we REALLY need better script writers.  this season SUCKS
 
2018-03-07 02:31:00 AM  
Remember when Trump was bragging about his stock market, while forgetting to mention any specific policy he implemented to affect it?

Well, now he's implementing policy. Let's watch...
 
2018-03-07 02:37:48 AM  

theteacher: There goes all the 401K's left in the world.


My 401k has done fine this year.  Up almost 6% since Jan 1.  I can't believe the luck I've been having.
 
2018-03-07 03:01:13 AM  

foo monkey: Cohn drafted and almost submit his resignation after Trump couldn't denounce Nazis at UVA. A woman was murdered and a dozen injured by a no-shiat Nazi, the President couldn't say, "Nazis R Bad", and Cohn almost resigned. But tariffs?  That's over the line. Thanks for showing us the way, Gary. This is the kind of leadership we deserve.


He still needed to shepherd the tax cuts.
 
2018-03-07 03:03:30 AM  

Weaver95: so trump is incredibly unpopular, has pissed off the military beyond belief and now he's going to make a lot of rich people considerably less rich AND very likely make more than a few of them poor.  this on top of him having sex with porn stars and claiming he wants to become president for life.

we REALLY need better script writers.  this season SUCKS


Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs. Competing with the Jones's is something the rich do. The rest just hope to not die before 65.
 
2018-03-07 03:04:35 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.


uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.
 
2018-03-07 03:13:12 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.


Have you read no post-apocalyptic literature?  That's when the rich build their own super cities with a permanent worker underclass and leave those not absolutely necessary to the cities' survival to the wasteland.
 
2018-03-07 03:14:17 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.


Mission of Burma - That's when I reach for my revolver (1981)
Youtube I8piMHsOya4


Too soon?
 
2018-03-07 03:14:27 AM  
it is time to heel this shiathole country down the shower drain.
 
2018-03-07 03:14:45 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.


They have more money than God. Move out to some 3rd world country or some poorer U.S. state in the rich enclave. The amount of grandma and grandpa families with 6 million in investments is nothing compared to the trust-fund family sitting on 60 million.
 
2018-03-07 03:15:04 AM  

Summoner101: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

Have you read no post-apocalyptic literature?  That's when the rich build their own super cities with a permanent worker underclass and leave those not absolutely necessary to the cities' survival to the wasteland.


I read that story before.  it always ends badly for the rich people in their shiny city of stagnation and weird sexuality.
 
2018-03-07 03:16:42 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.


This, if there's no money coming into your business to pay anything including shareholders, or that money turns into 'pay shareholders or keep the lights on', we're going to see moderately large companies close down in an effort to effectively keep the shareholders from liquidating everything. It's no longer the symbiotic fiscal relationship at that point, it's parasitic at that point, entitlement beyond what is tenable.
 
2018-03-07 03:18:46 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

They have more money than God. Move out to some 3rd world country or some poorer U.S. state in the rich enclave. The amount of grandma and grandpa families with 6 million in investments is nothing compared to the trust-fund family sitting on 60 million.


move where?  they're STILL gonna need infrastructure, a moderately educated, healthy and at least quasi  skilled middle class to run everything, not to mention a customer base that can afford to buy their products.

pulling up stakes, taking the money, and building a volcano lair somewhere in the south pacific might work fine for an Ayn Rand novel, but that's not how things work in the real world.  these people's wealth is based on manufacturing, sales and shipping which means they need a certain level of world stability in order for them to STAY rich.
 
2018-03-07 03:20:04 AM  
H&R Block up though. Everyone's gonna be trying hard for those magic rebates to save their shirts
 
2018-03-07 03:20:53 AM  

foo monkey: Cohn drafted and almost submit his resignation after Trump couldn't denounce Nazis at UVA. A woman was murdered and a dozen injured by a no-shiat Nazi, the President couldn't say, "Nazis R Bad", and Cohn almost resigned. But tariffs?  That's over the line. Thanks for showing us the way, Gary. This is the kind of leadership we deserve.


One is Trump not taking a stand on a social issue that had zero tangible effect on anything.

The other is Trump specifically telling you that He Does What He Wants, that he is better than you AT THE JOB HE HIRED YOU TO DO, and not wanting your name associated with the fallout.

These are totally different things, and your boss telling you that your expertise means nothing is the one that you are supposed to resign for.
 
2018-03-07 03:23:12 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

They have more money than God. Move out to some 3rd world country or some poorer U.S. state in the rich enclave. The amount of grandma and grandpa families with 6 million in investments is nothing compared to the trust-fund family sitting on 60 million.

move where?  they're STILL gonna need infrastructure, a moderately educated, healthy and at least quasi  skilled middle class to run everything, not to mention a customer base that can afford to buy their products.

pulling up stakes, taking the money, and building a volcano lair somewhere in the south pacific might work fine for an Ayn Rand novel, but that's not how things work in the real world.  these people's wealth is based on manufacturing, sales and shipping which means they need a certain level of world stability in order for them to STAY rich.


Well, I must have missed them in the unemployment lines back in 2008.
 
2018-03-07 03:23:24 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.


Yeah , right, EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR JERBS!


Keep smoking that pipe.
 
2018-03-07 03:23:34 AM  

Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

They have more money than God. Move out to some 3rd world country or some poorer U.S. state in the rich enclave. The amount of grandma and grandpa families with 6 million in investments is nothing compared to the trust-fund family sitting on 60 million.

move where?  they're STILL gonna need infrastructure, a moderately educated, healthy and at least quasi  skilled middle class to run everything, not to mention a customer base that can afford to buy their products.

pulling up stakes, taking the money, and building a volcano lair somewhere in the south pacific might work fine for an Ayn Rand novel, but that's not how things work in the real world.  these people's wealth is based on manufacturing, sales and shipping which means they need a certain level of world stability in order for them to STAY rich.


Really, what the 'smart' ones are doing is shifting their money to other markets and making arrangements to live elsewhere.

The stupid ones are banking on 'political inertia', that Trump's going to be prevented from actually deep-dicking the economy into a full-on crash by the adults, but not realizing that they're the adults who need to actually stop him in a terrible interpretation of the Bystander Paradox. They're expecting someone to Adult and stop Trump for them, but they haven't the intellectual perception to understand the situation where no, there /isn't/ an adult to stop Trump until the damage is actually done.
 
2018-03-07 03:24:53 AM  
I just read today that AC/DC are getting ready to release a new album. Every-time they have a new release the economy tanks. We are doomed.
 
2018-03-07 03:25:14 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

They have more money than God. Move out to some 3rd world country or some poorer U.S. state in the rich enclave. The amount of grandma and grandpa families with 6 million in investments is nothing compared to the trust-fund family sitting on 60 million.


10% == Nothing.

Fark math.
 
2018-03-07 03:25:21 AM  

enry: Wanna hear something scarier?  National Security Advisor John Bolton.


How about "Trump's new chief economic adviser, Bobby Jindal"?
 
2018-03-07 03:32:35 AM  
 The rich investment class is just tantrumming because they don't want to have to pay real sustainable prices for anything. Don't get  sucked into their fear game.
 
2018-03-07 03:37:28 AM  
the rich understand that they NEED a certain level of stability to maintain their wealth.  Trump is costing them that stability.  rule number one of rich white republican club is that you DO NOT piss off the rich.  Donny isn't just pissing 'em off, he's actively costing them money.

all of which means that impeachment is likely going to be much easier now that the rich have started to turn against Donny.  so long as Donny was only f*cking over the poor and middle class, the rich were ok with whatever else Donny was doing.  But now that Donny is costing them money?  oh you'd better believe they'll put a stop to that shiat fast!  and if Donny won't listen, well - Mueller sure seems ready to go with his impeachment stuff.
 
2018-03-07 03:39:21 AM  

theteacher: There goes all the 401K's left in the world.


I don't see any reason to panic as long as the Fed remains independent and is not somehow subverted by the Trump administration or GOP.

Even if the GOP goes along with stupid tariffs, you can still invest in foreign securities.

The point at which everyone should panic is when the government starts printing money and instituting currency controls to prevent you from trading dollars for hard currency.

The bedrock of our current economic system is that the Fed is independent, and mandated to control inflation. I'm not sure what happens if we have a recession like 1981 though - people might be marching with pitchforks if we had interest rates and unemployment like we did then.
 
2018-03-07 03:50:15 AM  

Weaver95: Summoner101: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

Have you read no post-apocalyptic literature?  That's when the rich build their own super cities with a permanent worker underclass and leave those not absolutely necessary to the cities' survival to the wasteland.

I read that story before.  it always ends badly for the rich people in their shiny city of stagnation and weird sexuality.


After several hundreds or thousands of years
 
2018-03-07 03:52:03 AM  

Summoner101: Weaver95: Summoner101: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

Have you read no post-apocalyptic literature?  That's when the rich build their own super cities with a permanent worker underclass and leave those not absolutely necessary to the cities' survival to the wasteland.

I read that story before.  it always ends badly for the rich people in their shiny city of stagnation and weird sexuality.

After several hundreds or thousands of years


nah, it starts falling apart almost immediately.  you think rich people know how plumbing works?  or how to patch concrete?  maintain outer defense networks?

hedonism sets in almost immediately.
 
2018-03-07 03:55:17 AM  
Well, looks like I got my market hedge set up just in time, then.
 
2018-03-07 03:57:50 AM  
Meh... 1% drop?
/I was working in the brokerage industry on October 19, 1987 when the DJIA dropped by 22.6% in a single day. The computers crashed so hard it took 3 days to get them back on line.
//Get out of stocks while you can
///This is the priciest market ever
 
2018-03-07 04:00:57 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: I don't see any reason to panic as long as the Fed remains independent and is not somehow subverted by the Trump administration or GOP.


given the levels of greed and stupidity coming out of this administration, I cannot imagine the Fed remaining independent for much longer.  had the federal reserve not been built with paranoia in mind, I suspect we would already have a corrupt and incredibly shiatty series of unfair economic policies in place.

soon as Trump gets a chance to corrupt the Fed reserve, he'll take it.  because f*ck you, that's why.
 
2018-03-07 04:11:55 AM  
I think this is all about Trump calling out China for their shiat and nothing more. Everything from faked goods being sold in our country to them subsidizing major industries. China is a pariah in world trade. They cut corners and produce inferior goods. They counterfeit everything of value and the government turns a blind eye. It's about time they get called out on their shiat.
 
TWX
2018-03-07 04:15:49 AM  

Weaver95: Summoner101: Weaver95: Summoner101: Weaver95: AppleOptionEsc: Rich people won't get poor, they will just sell off and close jobs.

uh huh.  and what happens when NOBODY has a job anymore?  kinda hard to stay rich when you've got all the money and nobody can afford to buy all your stuff.

Have you read no post-apocalyptic literature?  That's when the rich build their own super cities with a permanent worker underclass and leave those not absolutely necessary to the cities' survival to the wasteland.

I read that story before.  it always ends badly for the rich people in their shiny city of stagnation and weird sexuality.

After several hundreds or thousands of years

nah, it starts falling apart almost immediately.  you think rich people know how plumbing works?  or how to patch concrete?  maintain outer defense networks?

hedonism sets in almost immediately.


Or revolution.

One thing to remember about say, the Bolshevik Revolution, life for the average Russian was pretty tough under the Czar, and might have actually improved some under the Soviet system. Plus initially the wealthy class was killed-off and it couldn't directly tax the peasant population anymore.

For the French Revolution, life improved for the average person when a permanent upper class was destroyed, as those noblemen directly taxed the people. The people might still have had to toil at the same work they did before, but they didn't have to turn it over to the local nobleman.

The denizens of this sort of dstyopian city might well do the same thing, after going through other possible steps to curb power, such as forming guilds for various skilled trades. Kind of hard to get that concrete patched if the wealthy person has fallen afoul of the guild and no one will do business with him.
 
2018-03-07 04:21:35 AM  

mr_larry: I think this is all about Trump calling out China for their shiat and nothing more.


That's like saying "I think invading Iraq is all about Bush calling out Bin Laden for his shiat and nothing more".
 
2018-03-07 05:26:12 AM  

mr_larry: I think this is all about Trump calling out China for their shiat and nothing more. Everything from faked goods being sold in our country to them subsidizing major industries. China is a pariah in world trade. They cut corners and produce inferior goods. They counterfeit everything of value and the government turns a blind eye. It's about time they get called out on their shiat.


Derpa derpa doo...biting on the bait....

2.9% of US steel imports are from China

the biggest exporter to the United States for steel is Canada, followed by Brazil

the biggest exporter of aluminum to the United States... also Canada, followed by - surprise! Russia.

It's almost like we have a bunch of shiat-flinging monkeys in the White House.
 
2018-03-07 05:29:30 AM  

mr_larry: I think this is all about Trump calling out China for their shiat and nothing more.


no, I think Donny was mad about Hope Hicks leaving and he was pissed off at Mueller so Donny, being kinda dumb and rather impulsive, decided to trigger a trade war to make himself feel better.  this wasn't well thought out, and NOBODY at the commerce department had any idea this was in their future.

Trump is going to start a trade war for no reason other than its a distraction from his various scandals.  every time Donny gets caught up in something new, he goes and breaks something as a distraction.  this time, he's decided to break the economy.  next time - who knows?
 
2018-03-07 05:34:15 AM  

mr_larry: Meh... 1% drop?
/I was working in the brokerage industry on October 19, 1987 when the DJIA dropped by 22.6% in a single day. The computers crashed so hard it took 3 days to get them back on line.
//Get out of stocks while you can
///This is the priciest market ever


Did they try turning them off and back on again?
 
2018-03-07 05:37:54 AM  

mr_larry: I think this is all about Trump calling out China for their shiat and nothing more. Everything from faked goods being sold in our country to them subsidizing major industries. China is a pariah in world trade. They cut corners and produce inferior goods. They counterfeit everything of value and the government turns a blind eye. It's about time they get called out on their shiat.


China also buys 60% of US soybeans. But go on, tell us about this trade war we're going to win.
 
2018-03-07 05:41:03 AM  
Time to roll out the worried looking stock trader pictures!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-07 05:52:47 AM  

Weaver95: so trump is incredibly unpopular, has pissed off the military beyond belief and now he's going to make a lot of rich people considerably less rich AND very likely make more than a few of them poor.  this on top of him having sex with porn stars and claiming he wants to become president for life.

we REALLY need better script writers.  this season SUCKS


It insists upon itself.
 
2018-03-07 06:06:20 AM  

Harry_Seldon: foo monkey: Cohn drafted and almost submit his resignation after Trump couldn't denounce Nazis at UVA. A woman was murdered and a dozen injured by a no-shiat Nazi, the President couldn't say, "Nazis R Bad", and Cohn almost resigned. But tariffs?  That's over the line. Thanks for showing us the way, Gary. This is the kind of leadership we deserve.

He still needed to shepherd the tax cuts.


The only reason he took the job was to write the tax bill that will save him and his buds millions/billions. Mission accomplished.
 
2018-03-07 06:12:42 AM  
Jump you farmers.jpg
 
2018-03-07 06:13:14 AM  
Yea, Fu autocorrect.
 
2018-03-07 06:15:25 AM  
Numb
I am just numb to Trump's disgraceful antics
Where is a checks and balances system when you need one
sigh
 
2018-03-07 06:18:03 AM  

foo monkey: Cohn drafted and almost submit his resignation after Trump couldn't denounce Nazis at UVA. A woman was murdered and a dozen injured by a no-shiat Nazi, the President couldn't say, "Nazis R Bad", and Cohn almost resigned. But tariffs?  That's over the line. Thanks for showing us the way, Gary. This is the kind of leadership we deserve.


That's a fun line for a comedian, but there's a difference between being a piece of shiat boss, and being a piece of shiat boss that deliberately goes against precisely the kind of advice you are hired to give, in a fit of pique. One is related to your job and reflects on your ability.
 
2018-03-07 06:20:46 AM  
I'll put good money down on Donny Tradewar blaming today's drop on that damn 0bummer's forward-traveling time machine.

/see ya in a few hours when I regain consciousness to find out!
 
2018-03-07 06:51:23 AM  
OMG we may be looking at a 0.25% "tank".  Please save the children.
 
Displayed 50 of 97 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report