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(Wikipedia)   If you went on "Drunk History," what story would you choose to tell? Link goes to Subby's choice   ( en.m.wikipedia.org) divider line
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504 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 06 Mar 2018 at 2:35 PM (39 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-03-06 02:17:05 PM  
The obscenity trial of James Joyce's Ulysses

I would, in great detail, explain the dirtiest bits of the book. And there are a lot of them.
 
2018-03-06 02:20:52 PM  
Mad Jack Churchill.
Or the story of the battleship USS Colorado, grampa served on it.
 
2018-03-06 02:22:54 PM  
 
2018-03-06 02:24:59 PM  
The night Donald Trump was elected
 
2018-03-06 02:26:24 PM  

neglogon: The night Donald Trump was elected


I'd have to get carefully drunk to recreate the happy, nervous, worried, despair feelings.

Those coincided with an increase in drinking
 
2018-03-06 02:30:21 PM  
Sam Nunberg
 
2018-03-06 02:31:10 PM  
Sir John A MacDonald - Canuckistan's first prime-minister AND a raging alcoholic.
Cheers!
 
2018-03-06 02:31:18 PM  
 
2018-03-06 02:32:18 PM  
 
2018-03-06 02:34:08 PM  
 
2018-03-06 02:37:53 PM  
I wrote a few parts of my dissertation drunk, so probably those.  The Dissolution of the Monasteries section would benefit from a few pre-explanation shots.
 
2018-03-06 02:46:31 PM  
The History Fark Website Design
 
2018-03-06 02:47:07 PM  
9/11
 
2018-03-06 02:48:01 PM  
Super bowl 48.
 
2018-03-06 02:55:44 PM  
 
2018-03-06 02:58:01 PM  

BooksontheBrain: The obscenity trial of James Joyce's Ulysses

I would, in great detail, explain the dirtiest bits of the book. And there are a lot of them.


No one can explain Ulysses.
 
2018-03-06 02:58:12 PM  
The Sultana and Lincoln's complicity is the nation's worst maritime disaster.
 
2018-03-06 03:04:59 PM  

neglogon: The night Donald Trump was elected


The ending will make a better episode than the beginning.
 
2018-03-06 03:07:27 PM  
George Washington and the Battle of Fort Duquesne
 
2018-03-06 03:17:50 PM  

RJReves: Sam Nunberg


That might be the first time on the show where the actors are more drunk than the story-tellers.

/I love Drunk History
 
2018-03-06 03:18:02 PM  

This text is now purple: BooksontheBrain: The obscenity trial of James Joyce's Ulysses

I would, in great detail, explain the dirtiest bits of the book. And there are a lot of them.

No one can explain Ulysses.


Yeah, but you can find whatever it is you want to find. You pervert.
 
2018-03-06 03:21:18 PM  
Grant & Sherman.  Grant should actually be a full length movie.  Going from a drunk washed out of the army to winning the Civil War.
 
2018-03-06 03:22:42 PM  
Not sure what story to tell, but I want Paget Brewster to take part in telling the story.
 
2018-03-06 03:23:43 PM  

This text is now purple: BooksontheBrain: The obscenity trial of James Joyce's Ulysses

I would, in great detail, explain the dirtiest bits of the book. And there are a lot of them.

No one can explain Ulysses.


You're thinking of Finnegans Wake
 
2018-03-06 03:23:58 PM  
Would Martha Mitchell be too meta?  I could also talk about the Know-Nothings.
 
2018-03-06 03:26:24 PM  
Louie Armstrong walking on the moon.  NASA couldn't send a lot of air up there, so the chose him cause he could cheek a days worth of air in his...   you know...  those things...  cheeks.  Yeah!

Probably just segue in to The Police's Walking on the Moon.  First regular, than rap, then howling country and finally me sobbing in the corner of the room saying 'walkin...walkin...walkin....
 
2018-03-06 03:28:22 PM  
helen keller. the real helen keller story and not the urban legend she turned her airplane around because she was nearly out of gas after flying almost around the world.  no one knows why she hid in her apartment.
 
2018-03-06 03:55:09 PM  
 
2018-03-06 04:01:06 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: Not sure what story to tell, but I want Paget Brewster to take part in telling the story.


Now here's a man with his priorities straight.
 
2018-03-06 04:03:20 PM  

BMFPitt: Grant & Sherman.  Grant should actually be a full length movie.  Going from a drunk washed out of the army to winning the Civil War.


That was only round I, and he never stopped being a drunk. On the upside, he (Grant) was loyal to his friends.
 
2018-03-06 04:07:44 PM  
They could probably do an entire special on Bill Brasky.
 
2018-03-06 04:22:46 PM  
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2018-03-06 04:28:43 PM  
The Battle of Midway or The Johnstown Flood.

Boston's Great Molasses Flood would also be interesting material, but they've already done at least two of these.
 
2018-03-06 04:33:42 PM  
I do not understand the concept of the show.
 
I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.
 
2018-03-06 04:49:53 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.
 
I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.


Maybe not, but the sober people acting out their drunken ramblings, verbatim, are.
 
2018-03-06 04:50:31 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.
 
I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.


Yet here you are on Fark.
 
2018-03-06 04:52:25 PM  

BMFPitt: Grant & Sherman.  Grant should actually be a full length movie.  Going from a drunk washed out of the army to winning the Civil War.


Sherman (the father of urban renewal) and his development of modern battlefield tactics (starting with Kennesaw Mountain).
 
2018-03-06 05:05:44 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.

I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.

Yet here you are on Fark.


Here, I don't have to listen to people talk or watch them try to compose their sentences.  People are slow enough as it is...
 
2018-03-06 05:21:16 PM  
The creepy munchausen-doctor who became so fixated on a female patient that he kept telling her she was sick, and poisoning her so that she'd have to keep seeking care from him. Eventually moved her into his home for "hospice". At the time the story was presented as if the benevolent doctor was simply so distraught with his inability to cure her that he kept providing more and more free medical care as she continued to deteriorate; a lovely fairy tale which was revealed for the creepy obsession it was when, after he killed her (arsenic), he kept digging her up to try to turn her into a zombie-sexdoll.

All very romantic. I would relish the opportunity to get blasted and tell this hideous tale on national television.
 
2018-03-06 05:22:23 PM  
Lyudmila Pavlichenko, Soviet Sniper

Add Woody Guthrie's song about her to the soundtrack
 
2018-03-06 05:24:30 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: OtherLittleGuy: SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.

I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.

Yet here you are on Fark.

Here, I don't have to listen to people talk or watch them try to compose their sentences.  People are slow enough as it is...


Wait until Drew makes arrangements to connect the Fark servers with Siri/Alexa.....
 
2018-03-06 05:29:02 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: OtherLittleGuy: SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.

I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.

Yet here you are on Fark.

Here, I don't have to listen to people talk or watch them try to compose their sentences.  People are slow enough as it is...


Yes but they all get superpissy if you don't pretend to follow "traditional" conversational rules when spewing random thoughts onto the internet.

I don't understand people who need to pretend that the internet is their friend. It makes me think they must be unbelievably needy.
 
2018-03-06 05:35:58 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: SoundOfOneHandWanking: OtherLittleGuy: SoundOfOneHandWanking: I do not understand the concept of the show.

I hate being around drunk people, they are not funny.

Yet here you are on Fark.

Here, I don't have to listen to people talk or watch them try to compose their sentences.  People are slow enough as it is...

Wait until Drew makes arrangements to connect the Fark servers with Siri/Alexa.....


Sometimes I think he already has.
The headlines are definitely being written to personally insult me, specifically. It's not a coincidence, it's my farking spyphone communicating all my painfully boring and not-even-scandalous secrets to all the servers on all the internets, where they are then sarcastically relayed back at me in mocking headlines on fark.

You didn't think the Singularity was gonna announce itself with a farking Urgent Memo, did you? Nope. It'll just start farking with your head in really mean ways, mocking you for carrying a CIA tracking device in your pocket. It has a sense of humor.
 
2018-03-06 05:36:04 PM  

rustyfark: The creepy munchausen-doctor who became so fixated on a female patient that he kept telling her she was sick, and poisoning her so that she'd have to keep seeking care from him. Eventually moved her into his home for "hospice". At the time the story was presented as if the benevolent doctor was simply so distraught with his inability to cure her that he kept providing more and more free medical care as she continued to deteriorate; a lovely fairy tale which was revealed for the creepy obsession it was when, after he killed her (arsenic), he kept digging her up to try to turn her into a zombie-sexdoll.

All very romantic. I would relish the opportunity to get blasted and tell this hideous tale on national television.


Heard a good story on the radio in the wee hours about a mother who told her nine-year old daughter that she (daughter) had terminal cancer.  She convinced her husband and family as well, "taking her to the doctor" every so often; she would drug the daughter in the car before the "appointment" and the daughter would wake up "after" and Mom would tell her the latest prognosis.  She even began fundraising accounts that townspeople contributed to, and one time shaved daughter's head while she slept (or was drugged) to try and replicate the effects of chemo.  Months later, the daughter's teacher clicked that something was wrong when the hair was growing back.  Did a little checking, and there was no doctor, no doctor's office, nothing.  Complete fraud.  Mom went to jail (Dad, too, but not for as long).  Daughter somehow came out of it all right, but changed her name and completely alienated herself from mother.  Dad was working so much that he didn't know what was going on - Mom, the "martyr" took care of her "dying baby".  Strange but true story.
 
2018-03-06 05:42:30 PM  

Billy Liar: rustyfark: The creepy munchausen-doctor who became so fixated on a female patient that he kept telling her she was sick, and poisoning her so that she'd have to keep seeking care from him. Eventually moved her into his home for "hospice". At the time the story was presented as if the benevolent doctor was simply so distraught with his inability to cure her that he kept providing more and more free medical care as she continued to deteriorate; a lovely fairy tale which was revealed for the creepy obsession it was when, after he killed her (arsenic), he kept digging her up to try to turn her into a zombie-sexdoll.

All very romantic. I would relish the opportunity to get blasted and tell this hideous tale on national television.

Heard a good story on the radio in the wee hours about a mother who told her nine-year old daughter that she (daughter) had terminal cancer.  She convinced her husband and family as well, "taking her to the doctor" every so often; she would drug the daughter in the car before the "appointment" and the daughter would wake up "after" and Mom would tell her the latest prognosis.  She even began fundraising accounts that townspeople contributed to, and one time shaved daughter's head while she slept (or was drugged) to try and replicate the effects of chemo.  Months later, the daughter's teacher clicked that something was wrong when the hair was growing back.  Did a little checking, and there was no doctor, no doctor's office, nothing.  Complete fraud.  Mom went to jail (Dad, too, but not for as long).  Daughter somehow came out of it all right, but changed her name and completely alienated herself from mother.  Dad was working so much that he didn't know what was going on - Mom, the "martyr" took care of her "dying baby".  Strange but true story.


There are so many instances of that story, I can't even guess which one you mean. Bunches.
Gypsy Rose Somethingorother went to prison for having her boyfriend kill her mom, but got a light sentence when it turned out she wasn't even really paraplegic.
 
2018-03-06 05:46:49 PM  
 
2018-03-06 05:52:26 PM  

Gubbo: neglogon: The night Donald Trump was elected

I'd have to get carefully drunk to recreate the happy, nervous, worried, despair feelings.

Those coincided with an increase in drinking


I spent the whole year pissing off a my acquaintances by insisting he was going to win. By election night I had been called crazy and stupid so many times that I believed it, I was so convinced he wouldnt win that I didn't even bother to watch any election coverage. It was a few days before I realized I had been right all along (I lead a VERY isolated life), and that he won, and that,  once again, all the people who called me crazy and stupid were actually, in fact, crazy and stupid.

Is America great again yet? I haven't really been paying attention.
 
2018-03-06 05:54:11 PM  

Myrdinn: neglogon: The night Donald Trump was elected

The ending will make a better episode than the beginning.


Planet of the Apes. ...
If you want to see how it ends.
 
2018-03-06 05:56:31 PM  

andrewagill: Would Martha Mitchell be too meta?  I could also talk about the Know-Nothings.


Interesting.
I think of Martha every time people call me stupid and crazy. Because it usually turns out I'm right.... as well as stupid, and also batshiat farking crazy.
 
2018-03-06 06:14:00 PM  
I'd just talk about the time I dropped a paper grocery bag full of bottled beer on the steps at Russell Hall at UGA, knelt down in the broken glass and picked up the unbroken bottles, then continued up the stairs oblivious to the large shards of broken glass sticking out of my knees and the blood that was pouring down my legs.  Who needs history?  I'm amazed I survived my freshman year.
 
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