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(Patheos)   Guy from 'Duck Dynasty' says: "You want to stop murder worldwide? You're focusing on the wrong weapon. [Picks up Bible] This, this will stop human beings from murdering one another." Maybe if you throw it at the gunman hard enough   ( patheos.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, ridiculous video clip, Gun, Ten Commandments, wonder gun violence, Murder, Firearm, Facebook page, earthly weapon  
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879 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Mar 2018 at 11:50 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-03-06 10:59:46 AM  
strangenotions.comView Full Size


irishhistorypodcast.ieView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 11:01:20 AM  
What if god is a giant duck?
 
2018-03-06 11:01:42 AM  
I go to church regularly and even I know that the Bible has caused way more deaths than guns have.
 
2018-03-06 11:02:00 AM  
None so blind.
 
2018-03-06 11:10:50 AM  
Is it the same guy who said gay people are sinners and black people are racially inferior?
 
2018-03-06 11:10:50 AM  
What an ultra-maroon.  What an embezzle.
 
2018-03-06 11:11:52 AM  

NewportBarGuy: What if god is a giant duck?


He is, I keep him in my garage, but only I am allowed to see him, anyone else, god duck smites them to death.
 
2018-03-06 11:14:16 AM  

Chariset: Is it the same guy who said gay people are sinners and black people are racially inferior?


He also thinks girls should be married by 15 years old.
 
2018-03-06 11:15:24 AM  
It all ended when Moses chiseled down "Thou Shalt Not Kill", which is why murder isn't even illegal any more.
 
2018-03-06 11:18:36 AM  
Just murder anyone who doesn't believe

/It's all so simple!
 
2018-03-06 11:21:42 AM  

HawgWild: Chariset: Is it the same guy who said gay people are sinners and black people are racially inferior?

He also thinks girls should be married by 15 years old.


I can't believe no one is taking him seriously as a sociological authority.
 
2018-03-06 11:23:43 AM  

Chariset: HawgWild: Chariset: Is it the same guy who said gay people are sinners and black people are racially inferior?

He also thinks girls should be married by 15 years old.

I can't believe no one is taking him seriously as a sociological authority.


Nor as a fashion authority! So much style and pizazz! All the 15 year old girls love him!
 
2018-03-06 11:25:01 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: It all ended when Moses chiseled down "Thou Shalt Not Kill", which is why murder isn't even illegal any more.


You forgot his post Commandment genocidal massacre of anybody in Israel who didn't agree with him.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Just murder anyone who doesn't believe

/It's all so simple!


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2018-03-06 11:28:24 AM  
The only Christian theocracy on the planet is the Vatican.  I don't think they've had any murders for years if not decades.  So the premise is sound.
 
2018-03-06 11:35:58 AM  
Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. That bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
 
2018-03-06 11:39:01 AM  

ArkPanda: The only Christian theocracy on the planet is the Vatican.  I don't think they've had any murders for years if not decades.  So the premise is sound.


Well, to be fair, the Vatican moved on from wars and genocides to kiddy diddling.
 
2018-03-06 11:39:50 AM  
I think he's just showing off his legal skills in an effort to get Trump to fire Sessions and appoint him Attorney General.
 
2018-03-06 11:46:08 AM  

ArkPanda: The only Christian theocracy on the planet is the Vatican.  I don't think they've had any murders for years if not decades.  So the premise is sound.


Pope John Paul I would like to have a word.
 
2018-03-06 11:49:34 AM  
He probably means this part of the bible:

Matthew 7:
15Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
 
2018-03-06 11:53:33 AM  

NewportBarGuy: What if god is a giant duck?


He's made of wood?
 
2018-03-06 11:55:56 AM  

NewportBarGuy: What if god is a giant duck?


images.thestar.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 11:56:46 AM  

naughtyrev: [strangenotions.com image 610x374]

[irishhistorypodcast.ie image 850x516]


i2.wp.comView Full Size

And something for the Americans.
 
2018-03-06 11:56:49 AM  

HighOnCraic: Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. That bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.


I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.
 
2018-03-06 11:59:02 AM  

NewportBarGuy: What if god is a giant duck?


img.fark.netView Full Size

He shall return... every six and half years or so?
 
2018-03-06 12:00:16 PM  
Spoken like a man who has never read the Bible.  That book makes GRR Martin look like a pansy.
 
2018-03-06 12:01:02 PM  
Wait, did he say the right words before touching the book?
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 12:02:03 PM  
Hasn't worked yet, dumbass.
 
2018-03-06 12:04:32 PM  

naughtyrev: [strangenotions.com image 610x374]

[irishhistorypodcast.ie image 850x516]


Yeah but DURR that was the morality at the time.
 
2018-03-06 12:04:58 PM  
THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED A LOT MORE PEOPLE WITHOUT THE BIBLE!
 
2018-03-06 12:05:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 12:08:52 PM  

tjsands1118: HighOnCraic: Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. That bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.


I can't take credit for that.

http://www.ibras.dk/comedy/allen.htm
 
2018-03-06 12:10:20 PM  
There's also a specific commandment to wipe out a certain nation (Amalek), and to murder idolators and adulterers and beastialiters and such (oh, wait - Old Testament, which is only useful for hating gays and subjugating women and non-Christian people).

Also the bit about not bringing peace, but the sword.
 
2018-03-06 12:10:50 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


*throws bible*
 
2018-03-06 12:13:07 PM  

Trocadero: naughtyrev: [strangenotions.com image 610x374]

[irishhistorypodcast.ie image 850x516]

[i2.wp.com image 560x353]
And something for the Americans.


Here's the background on some of those related massacres.

https://www.history.com/news/native-a​m​ericans-genocide-united-states

Slaughtering Christian Native American converts has to be the lowest.
 
2018-03-06 12:17:29 PM  
Because it's not murder when God says you can kill the heathens.
 
2018-03-06 12:17:48 PM  
To expand a bit on my previous post

https://www.wired.com/2007/04/old-tes​t​ament-m/
 
2018-03-06 12:18:22 PM  
1 Samuel 15:3: "This is what the Lord Almighty says ... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.' "

Amen
Religion of Peace
 
2018-03-06 12:19:55 PM  

pueblonative: Marcus Aurelius: It all ended when Moses chiseled down "Thou Shalt Not Kill", which is why murder isn't even illegal any more.


You forgot his post Commandment genocidal massacre of anybody in Israel who didn't agree with him.


And there's the whole genocide/ mass child sex slavery thing with the Midianites:
"Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them. "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord's people. Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man."
 
2018-03-06 12:22:30 PM  
tell you what ....lets let these Soggy Bottom Boys wanna be's test the power of their holy book...by placing it over their hearts while we shoot progressively larger calibers of bullets at it and see what wins out...science or faith...

something tells me their "faith" will lose out to anything over a .32 short.
 
2018-03-06 12:23:59 PM  
I liked that one episode of Duck Dynasty where they contrasted their authentic homespun values and customs with that of our go-go modern world.  They're a rags to riches story getting into snobs vs slobs hijinks like a fish out of water.
 
2018-03-06 12:25:09 PM  

Bslim: 1 Samuel 15:3: "This is what the Lord Almighty says ... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.' "

Amen
Religion of Peace


You know, I'm not sure who it is that changed warfare from a parade of forces, some light skirmishes, a quick peace treaty, and then back home in time for tea and medals. I believe the Greeks are rumored to have farked the then current rules of war but once we stopped eating each other, we apparently had settled down into a reasonably less-than-total-erasure-of-your-enemie​s mode.

It is nice to see that the religious leaders had to make sure the average guy had learned the idea that fair play and mercy were right out. It's good that religion has that kind of power in shaping human behavior.
 
2018-03-06 12:26:19 PM  
I can think of hundreds of ways to stop murder worldwide, and one of them isn't having more people read the !@#$ing bible -- a book made up by a bunch of geriatric old dudes that uses fearmongering to extort people out of money and into servitude.
 
2018-03-06 12:26:52 PM  

Stratohead: tell you what ....lets let these Soggy Bottom Boys wanna be's test the power of their holy book...by placing it over their hearts while we shoot progressively larger calibers of bullets at it and see what wins out...science or faith...

something tells me their "faith" will lose out to anything over a .32 short.


Only if you place barrel somewhere around Ephesians.
 
2018-03-06 12:27:42 PM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 12:28:36 PM  
II Corinthians 9mm 10mm and so on.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 12:36:54 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 12:38:08 PM  
Pandering jerks like this duck dynasty asshole are the "flatterers" that were talked about in Psalms, Proverbs, and all over the New Testament. This guy's god HATES him. Maybe somebody should point that out to him.
 
2018-03-06 12:38:36 PM  

naughtyrev: [strangenotions.com image 610x374]

[irishhistorypodcast.ie image 850x516]


So...it's been hundreds of years...
Can you find something more recent?

/difficulty: no muslims
 
2018-03-06 12:42:30 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Bslim: 1 Samuel 15:3: "This is what the Lord Almighty says ... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.' "

Amen
Religion of Peace

You know, I'm not sure who it is that changed warfare from a parade of forces, some light skirmishes, a quick peace treaty, and then back home in time for tea and medals. I believe the Greeks are rumored to have farked the then current rules of war but once we stopped eating each other, we apparently had settled down into a reasonably less-than-total-erasure-of-your-enemie​s mode.

It is nice to see that the religious leaders had to make sure the average guy had learned the idea that fair play and mercy were right out. It's good that religion has that kind of power in shaping human behavior.


Besides that... the blatant, stupidly blatant truth of the matter is that we've had the bible for a long time and it hasn't stopped people from killing each other.

It has already proven to be ineffective at what he claims it will do, here, all around the world, and from ancient history to the modern day. Christians are the overwhelming majority of people in the US, and people who are Christian get caught murdering all the time.

And then there's the fact that the bible itself orders followers to commit murder, rape, and even genocide in different places. And the other fact that plenty of violence and awful shiat in our history has been justified by those executing it by using the bible

Basically, this reality show star is a farking idiot who is utterly clueless about even his own religion. Fark him. He just wants to get attention and justify his pedophiliac desires.
 
2018-03-06 12:42:56 PM  

MrBallou: He probably means this part of the bible:

Matthew 7:
15Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.


Is ... is Jesus advocating cutting down and burning "evil" people? So THAT'S where it came from!

/ Man those temple tax collectors got off easy with just an ass-whoopin'
 
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