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(Guardian)   German sailors 132 years ago were on a 69-year-long experiment to track ocean currents with messages in bottles. One has just been found. So much efficiency   ( theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Australia, Kym Illman, husband Kym Illman, Ship, 132-year-old gin bottle, Perth, Western Australia, Tonya Illman, sailing ship Paula  
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5385 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2018 at 9:50 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-03-06 08:58:53 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


A crummy commercial?
 
2018-03-06 09:01:33 AM  
132 years for a message in a bottle experiment?  Ha!  That's gotta Sting.
 
2018-03-06 09:56:38 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 09:59:19 AM  
"5c refundable deposit if returned"
 
2018-03-06 09:59:52 AM  
Seems I'm not alone in being alone.
 
2018-03-06 10:02:08 AM  

hogans: Seems I'm not alone in being alone.


Just a castaway, searching for a hoooom-ommme..
 
2018-03-06 10:03:53 AM  
69 year long experiment?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 10:05:42 AM  
So where's the link to the study results? No map of coordinates of the start and discovered points of the bottles?
 
2018-03-06 10:07:34 AM  
Sure, the Germans do it with a gin bottle and it's an experiment; I do it with my Natty Light cans and it's "polluting a navigable waterway"....
 
2018-03-06 10:07:49 AM  

whatsupchuck: 69 year long experiment?

[img.fark.net image 325x325]


Not just efficient but thorough.

/ No one's made a "they found a 132-year-old German sailor" joke?
 
2018-03-06 10:08:14 AM  
I wonder what they could sell that for.  Article doesn't mention if it has any monetary value, although I'm sure it does.
 
2018-03-06 10:09:10 AM  
I gotta admire whatever German captain managed to BS his way into sailing around for seventy years, drinking gin, chucking the bottles overboard, and getting paid for it.
 
2018-03-06 10:09:49 AM  
because obviously
The Police - Message In A Bottle
Youtube MbXWrmQW-OE
 
2018-03-06 10:10:18 AM  
I once saw a bottle with a note in it washed up on a beach. I was so excited to pick it up and open it to see what the letter read. Was it from a ship-wreck, is someone stuck on a remote island? I was so anxious to read it. So I opened the bottle, and pulled the note out and read it.

"Hi...thanks for finding this note. Please make sure this bottle and note gets into a garbage bin. Thank you!"
 
2018-03-06 10:13:55 AM  
Kind of ironic that a German message in a bottle would end up on a beach in Hitler's homeland.
 
2018-03-06 10:20:39 AM  

NephilimNexus: I gotta admire whatever German captain managed to BS his way into sailing around for seventy years, drinking gin, chucking the bottles overboard, and getting paid for it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 10:20:54 AM  
Kym Illman said that after bringing it home the damp and ancient paper was put in the oven for five minutes to dry it out.

So, is that 5 minutes at 325 degrees?
 
2018-03-06 10:23:06 AM  

AllyOop: So where's the link to the study results? No map of coordinates of the start and discovered points of the bottles?


I looked up German Naval Observatory in wikipedia and found my way to the Federal Maritime and Hydrographic Agency of Germany. Linked page is in English.

Bundesamt für Seeschifffahrt und Hydrographie - Messages in Bottles
 
2018-03-06 10:27:16 AM  
Kym Illman said that after bringing it home the damp and ancient paper was put in the oven for five minutes to dry it out.

He then basted it in a honey glaze and placed it next to the mashed potatoes.

"A FEAST THAT HAS BEEN UNSEEN BY MORTAL MEN FOR 100 YEARS!" he cried, as he dug in with unbelievable gusto.  "IT TASTES LIKE GIN AND DESPAIR!" he said, as the demon in the bottle began to laugh and point. "EAT! EAT IT! EAT THE PAPER OF DOOOOOOOOOOM!"
 
2018-03-06 10:28:38 AM  

CrazyCurt: whatsupchuck: 69 year long experiment?

[img.fark.net image 325x325]

Not just efficient but thorough.

/ No one's made a "they found a 132-year-old German sailor" joke?


I only know a little German.

img.fark.netView Full Size
/ba
//dummm
///tsssssssh!
 
2018-03-06 10:31:58 AM  

swamp_of_dumb: CrazyCurt: whatsupchuck: 69 year long experiment?

[img.fark.net image 325x325]

Not just efficient but thorough.

/ No one's made a "they found a 132-year-old German sailor" joke?

I only know a little German.

[img.fark.net image 348x352]/ba
//dummm
///tsssssssh!


popkey.coView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 10:34:23 AM  
I prefer 5 year long experiments to see how many green skinned alien babes I could have sex with.
 
2018-03-06 10:40:29 AM  
Someone on a merchant ship tosses a bottle into the Indian Ocean and when it is found 132 years later, a German government agency produces paperwork proving this event actually happened.
That's German bureaucracy in a seashell for you.

Article with pctures:
http://www.dw.com/en/worlds-oldest-me​s​sage-in-a-bottle-discovered-in-austral​ia-sent-from-germany/a-42840270
 
2018-03-06 10:42:58 AM  

priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]


Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.
 
2018-03-06 10:45:50 AM  
"Fan mail from some flounder?"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 10:46:23 AM  
Rotten Tomatoes hated that movie (32%), but Amazon loves it.
 
2018-03-06 10:49:50 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]

Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.


Awww. somebody woke up cranky. Poor widdle ting
 
2018-03-06 10:59:53 AM  

FatherChaos: [img.fark.net image 659x413]

A crummy commercial?


der Scheißkerl  !
 
2018-03-06 11:13:35 AM  

jaytkay: AllyOop: So where's the link to the study results? No map of coordinates of the start and discovered points of the bottles?

I looked up German Naval Observatory in wikipedia and found my way to the Federal Maritime and Hydrographic Agency of Germany. Linked page is in English.

Bundesamt für Seeschifffahrt und Hydrographie - Messages in Bottles


The form found in this bottle is one of those for the German agency mentioned at the start of your link.
Here's an article with the German form, a map of the ship's bottle-tossing, and a chart of Indian Ocean bottle drifts: https://www.kymillman.com/old​est-messa​ge-in-a-bottle/
 
2018-03-06 11:14:57 AM  
My dad once got a free subscription to Time magazine from a message in a bottle.
 
2018-03-06 11:15:34 AM  
The real note read:

"In 2014, an airliner will disappear near here. The pearl is in the river."
 
2018-03-06 11:23:03 AM  
AllyOop
So where's the link to the study results? No map of coordinates of the start and discovered points of the bottles?


That museum in Australia has a report about this find on its website:
http://museum.wa.gov.au/maritime-arch​a​eology-db/paula-1886-message-in-a-bott​le

It includes a copy of a German map with results from 1897:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 11:28:01 AM  

KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]

Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.

Awww. somebody woke up cranky. Poor widdle ting


I woke up just fine, thanks. But if you want to defend that cartoon's merits, we're all ears.
 
2018-03-06 11:53:50 AM  
(Manuscript found on the coast of Yucatan.)

On August 20, 1917, I, Karl Heinrich, Graf von Altberg-Ehrenstein, Lieutenant-Commander in the Imperial German Navy and in charge of the submarine U-29, deposit this bottle and record in the Atlantic Ocean at a point to me unknown but probably about N. Latitude 20°, W. Longitude 35°, where my ship lies disabled on the ocean floor. I do so because of my desire to set certain unusual facts before the public; a thing I shall not in all probability survive to accomplish in person, since the circumstances surrounding me are as menacing as they are extraordinary, and involve not only the hopeless crippling of the U-29, but the impairment of my iron German will in a manner most disastrous...
 
2018-03-06 12:03:31 PM  

MythDragon: I prefer 5 year long experiments to see how many green skinned alien babes I could have sex with.


Shatner is that you?
 
2018-03-06 12:15:08 PM  

Loucifer: (Manuscript found on the coast of Yucatan.)

On August 20, 1917, I, Karl Heinrich, Graf von Altberg-Ehrenstein, Lieutenant-Commander in the Imperial German Navy and in charge of the submarine U-29, deposit this bottle and record in the Atlantic Ocean at a point to me unknown but probably about N. Latitude 20°, W. Longitude 35°, where my ship lies disabled on the ocean floor. I do so because of my desire to set certain unusual facts before the public; a thing I shall not in all probability survive to accomplish in person, since the circumstances surrounding me are as menacing as they are extraordinary, and involve not only the hopeless crippling of the U-29, but the impairment of my iron German will in a manner most disastrous...


Does the story involve dinosaurs?
 
2018-03-06 12:47:34 PM  

punkwrestler: MythDragon: I prefer 5 year long experiments to see how many green skinned alien babes I could have sex with.

Shatner is that you?


KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!
 
2018-03-06 01:06:53 PM  

g.fro: Does the story involve dinosaurs?


No, Atlantis
 
2018-03-06 01:21:06 PM  
Three years ago I found a miniature glass message in a bottle, written on a threaded cloth wound tightly.

I still haven't opened it.

Most people would open it, and one of my best friends is actually mad at me for not opening (she feels if the universe brought the bottle to me, it i my obligation to open it and complete the cycle). Personally, its much more fun wondering... its like Schrodinger's Bottle- the message could be any one of millions, but the moment I open it the possibilities are reduced to one....
 
2018-03-06 01:38:57 PM  
 
2018-03-06 01:39:33 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]

Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.

Awww. somebody woke up cranky. Poor widdle ting

I woke up just fine, thanks. But if you want to defend that cartoon's merits, we're all ears.


Looks on par with Gary Larson's The Far Side, or at least along the same ilk. Are "badly-conceived" ( as opposed to the more common ill-conceived) and trite code words for "I cried that night in November," I wonder? One man's utter sh*t is another man's comedy. I awfully sorry She was a deeply flawed candidate in a race to the bottom.

{You needs a hug?}

/ current count is 19 funny, i snart
 
2018-03-06 02:05:26 PM  

Loucifer: (Manuscript found on the coast of Yucatan.)

On August 20, 1917, I, Karl Heinrich, Graf von Altberg-Ehrenstein, Lieutenant-Commander in the Imperial German Navy and in charge of the submarine U-29, deposit this bottle and record in the Atlantic Ocean at a point to me unknown but probably about N. Latitude 20°, W. Longitude 35°, where my ship lies disabled on the ocean floor. I do so because of my desire to set certain unusual facts before the public; a thing I shall not in all probability survive to accomplish in person, since the circumstances surrounding me are as menacing as they are extraordinary, and involve not only the hopeless crippling of the U-29, but the impairment of my iron German will in a manner most disastrous...


I bet you miss Kleine, even if he was only a Rhinelander and commoner.
 
2018-03-06 02:47:59 PM  

KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]

Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.

Awww. somebody woke up cranky. Poor widdle ting

I woke up just fine, thanks. But if you want to defend that cartoon's merits, we're all ears.

Looks on par with Gary Larson's The Far Side, or at least along the same ilk. Are "badly-conceived" ( as opposed to the more common ill-conceived) and trite code words for "I cried that night in November," I wonder? One man's utter sh*t is another man's comedy. I awfully sorry She was a deeply flawed candidate in a race to the bottom.

{You needs a hug?}

/ current count is 19 funny, i snart


As I said, ignoring the politics of it, that is a sh*t cartoon. It's like clip art where you can add your own weak caption. But enjoy.
 
2018-03-06 03:08:38 PM  
 
2018-03-06 03:20:31 PM  

E.S.Q.: Three years ago I found a miniature glass message in a bottle, written on a threaded cloth wound tightly.

I still haven't opened it.

Most people would open it, and one of my best friends is actually mad at me for not opening (she feels if the universe brought the bottle to me, it i my obligation to open it and complete the cycle). Personally, its much more fun wondering... its like Schrodinger's Bottle- the message could be any one of millions, but the moment I open it the possibilities are reduced to one....


Meanwhile, the guy who threw it in the water is trapped on a deserted island starving death because you won't open the bottle and send help!
 
2018-03-06 03:55:06 PM  

Carousel Beast: Loucifer: (Manuscript found on the coast of Yucatan.)

On August 20, 1917, I, Karl Heinrich, Graf von Altberg-Ehrenstein, Lieutenant-Commander in the Imperial German Navy and in charge of the submarine U-29, deposit this bottle and record in the Atlantic Ocean at a point to me unknown but probably about N. Latitude 20°, W. Longitude 35°, where my ship lies disabled on the ocean floor. I do so because of my desire to set certain unusual facts before the public; a thing I shall not in all probability survive to accomplish in person, since the circumstances surrounding me are as menacing as they are extraordinary, and involve not only the hopeless crippling of the U-29, but the impairment of my iron German will in a manner most disastrous...

I bet you miss Kleine, even if he was only a Rhinelander and commoner.


Dont forget his womanishness. Always a plus on a submarine.
 
2018-03-06 04:05:30 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: KyDave: Barricaded Gunman: priapic_abandon2: [img.fark.net image 400x343]

Politics aside, how did this possibly get 9 "funny" votes? It's badly-conceived, poorly-drawn, and trite. It's the sort of non-clever garbage cartoon I'd expect to find on a placemat in a small-town diner, or used to fill some empty column space in the Weekly Penny Saver flyer.

It's utter sh*t, is what I'm getting at here.

Awww. somebody woke up cranky. Poor widdle ting

I woke up just fine, thanks. But if you want to defend that cartoon's merits, we're all ears.

Looks on par with Gary Larson's The Far Side, or at least along the same ilk. Are "badly-conceived" ( as opposed to the more common ill-conceived) and trite code words for "I cried that night in November," I wonder? One man's utter sh*t is another man's comedy. I awfully sorry She was a deeply flawed candidate in a race to the bottom.

{You needs a hug?}

/ current count is 19 funny, i snart

As I said, ignoring the politics of it, that is a sh*t cartoon. It's like clip art where you can add your own weak caption. But enjoy.


So I guess the https://www.cartoonstock.com/ watermark wasn't a clue? Cranky, touchy, and limited ability to observe the obvious. Gotcha. Oh, I'm enjoying the hell out of it, thanks! xoxoxo

/ 23 and counting
 
2018-03-06 04:26:55 PM  
'When Christopher Columbus got into a storm on his return voyage and feared that the ship would sink he is said to have thrown a small cedarwood barrel overboard containing notes on the discovery of America.'

Holy crap can you imagine coming across the remains of that?  If it actually exists would there even be a chance that the notes could still be salvaged in some way?
 
2018-03-06 04:28:57 PM  

tothekor: E.S.Q.: Three years ago I found a miniature glass message in a bottle, written on a threaded cloth wound tightly.

I still haven't opened it.

Most people would open it, and one of my best friends is actually mad at me for not opening (she feels if the universe brought the bottle to me, it i my obligation to open it and complete the cycle). Personally, its much more fun wondering... its like Schrodinger's Bottle- the message could be any one of millions, but the moment I open it the possibilities are reduced to one....

Meanwhile, the guy who threw it in the water is trapped on a deserted island starving death because you won't open the bottle and send help!


No no.  He simultaneously exists in a state of
- being dead
- starving to death, marooned on an island
- marooned on an island with a tribe of Amazons, and he is the only available man
- sitting at home, unaware someone found his confession to murdering his wife at sea
- sitting at his cube at work, wondering if his experiment will work, and if he will get a call out of the blue

If you collapse the wave function, you doom the poor man to a solitary life!
 
2018-03-06 05:19:27 PM  

jaytkay: g.fro: Does the story involve dinosaurs?

No, Atlantis


Ah.

One of these days I have to get around to reading more than one of his stories.
 
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