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(CNN)   Someone at United had the crayon removed from their brain and is reinstating the bonuses   ( money.cnn.com) divider line
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1657 clicks; posted to Business » on 05 Mar 2018 at 10:20 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-05 06:13:12 PM  
I did not think it would last.  If killing morale had been the goal, using a lottery system for bonuses would have done it right proper.
 
2018-03-05 06:38:36 PM  
Everyone hated the idea (from another article)

Of roughly 500 comments I read, four were positive (and three of those were from the company's vice president for human resources,

Also: Can you imagine rolling into the employee parking lot in a brand new Mercedes and seeing the looks of all your pissed off co-workers?
 
2018-03-05 07:15:19 PM  
Farking multi-billion dollar company, playing this cheap with its employees.

Headshaking, really.
 
2018-03-05 07:31:59 PM  
Friend of mine works in HR for a major airline. Says they use a standardized test for all executives.
They lock the candidate in a room with a drowning puppy. If the candidate laughs, they're hired. Laughs and masturbates, they're on the board.
 
2018-03-05 08:12:40 PM  
I think this happened for the shareholders' sake, not the workers' sake.
 
2018-03-05 10:12:32 PM  

fusillade762: Everyone hated the idea (from another article)

Of roughly 500 comments I read, four were positive (and three of those were from the company's vice president for human resources,

Also: Can you imagine rolling into the employee parking lot in a brand new Mercedes and seeing the looks of all your pissed off co-workers?


And as a regular passenger, how do you think that I feel about the maintenance employee's dedication to the job?

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic here...but it deeply concerns me.
 
2018-03-05 10:25:12 PM  

Endive Wombat: fusillade762: Everyone hated the idea (from another article)

Of roughly 500 comments I read, four were positive (and three of those were from the company's vice president for human resources,

Also: Can you imagine rolling into the employee parking lot in a brand new Mercedes and seeing the looks of all your pissed off co-workers?

And as a regular passenger, how do you think that I feel about the maintenance employee's dedication to the job?

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic here...but it deeply concerns me.


Fusillade, I think the bigger issue is that this guy rarely interacts with the employees he is responsible for and the environment they work in.

Honestly, after a boneheaded idea like he pulled, I would go through his resume and call up the business school he lists to see if he actually took any coursework in incentivising employees.
 
2018-03-05 10:42:40 PM  
I don't understand. Pitting employees against each other worked so well at Sears...
 
2018-03-05 10:44:36 PM  
The backlash and reversal comes while United is negotiating a new union contract with its pilots. The union wasn't happy with the lottery.

Goddamn commies, can't even let me enjoy a lottery.
 
2018-03-05 11:20:04 PM  
clip from national lampoons - if i had a rubber hose...
Youtube -FsV7hqYU20
 
2018-03-05 11:25:53 PM  
The crayon made homer smarter, subby.
 
2018-03-05 11:49:30 PM  

holdmybones: The crayon made homer smarter, subby.


No, removing it made him smarter, and he decided that he'd rather be his old dumb self and had it re-inserted.
 
2018-03-06 12:04:17 AM  
Imagine a day where all pay for the peasant workers is like this, not just the bonuses.  Instead of the factory workers making $10-$15 an hour average, they all get minimum wage, all of them.  NO benifits, just crap pay.  But.  Once a year, on Christmas, one lucky employee out of say 10,000, gets a cool million dollars.  If he qualifies of course by never missing a day or having any write ups, or it gets refreshed back into company coffers.  But he's still considered the winner if he doesnt get the money, might even win it again next year so keep trying!

They would kill each other for the chance to win it.
 
2018-03-06 12:13:32 AM  
They could do it like Jimmy James on NewsRadio:
Jimmy: Everybody gets an equal bonus of $400.
Dave: That sounds good, sir.
Jimmy: Except for one lucky person who gets a bonus of $3000, or as I like to call it, "The Big Bonus".
Dave: That's very generous of you, sir.
Jimmy: And also, one employee gets a bonus of $0, or as I like to call it "The Shaft".
Dave: You know, the $400 bonus is fine.
Jimmy: I'm glad you like it.
Dave: But the big bonus and the shaft, I prefer not to do those. They just foster an atmosphere of resentment and paranoia in the office.
[Mr. James gives Dave a sly grin]
Dave: Oh, I see.
 
2018-03-06 12:13:36 AM  

orclover: Imagine a day where all pay for the peasant workers is like this, not just the bonuses.  Instead of the factory workers making $10-$15 an hour average, they all get minimum wage, all of them.  NO benifits, just crap pay.  But.  Once a year, on Christmas, one lucky employee out of say 10,000, gets a cool million dollars.  If he qualifies of course by never missing a day or having any write ups, or it gets refreshed back into company coffers.  But he's still considered the winner if he doesnt get the money, might even win it again next year so keep trying!

They would kill each other for the chance to win it.


No they wouldn't.

They'd sabotage other employees so if they did win it, they wouldn't be able to claim it.  People generally find it far easier to make everyone else as miserable as they are rather than taking the chance that improving themselves will actually pay off.
 
2018-03-06 12:18:29 AM  

Mindlock: orclover: Imagine a day where all pay for the peasant workers is like this, not just the bonuses.  Instead of the factory workers making $10-$15 an hour average, they all get minimum wage, all of them.  NO benifits, just crap pay.  But.  Once a year, on Christmas, one lucky employee out of say 10,000, gets a cool million dollars.  If he qualifies of course by never missing a day or having any write ups, or it gets refreshed back into company coffers.  But he's still considered the winner if he doesnt get the money, might even win it again next year so keep trying!

They would kill each other for the chance to win it.

No they wouldn't.

They'd sabotage other employees so if they did win it, they wouldn't be able to claim it.  People generally find it far easier to make everyone else as miserable as they are rather than taking the chance that improving themselves will actually pay off.


Or, maybe they quit, and find a job that pays for real, and not some lottery type sytem of payment?
 
2018-03-06 12:44:36 AM  
Transfer to JetBlue.
 
2018-03-06 01:02:51 AM  
Sounds like corporate floated a trial balloon and the employees flew a 747 right through it.
 
2018-03-06 01:20:55 AM  

AintNoAmoeba: They could do it like Jimmy James on NewsRadio:
Jimmy: Everybody gets an equal bonus of $400.
Dave: That sounds good, sir.
Jimmy: Except for one lucky person who gets a bonus of $3000, or as I like to call it, "The Big Bonus".
Dave: That's very generous of you, sir.
Jimmy: And also, one employee gets a bonus of $0, or as I like to call it "The Shaft".
Dave: You know, the $400 bonus is fine.
Jimmy: I'm glad you like it.
Dave: But the big bonus and the shaft, I prefer not to do those. They just foster an atmosphere of resentment and paranoia in the office.
[Mr. James gives Dave a sly grin]
Dave: Oh, I see.


Just found the complete NewsRadio dvd box set at Value Village. Unopened. For $6. Was very happy. Show still stands up except for a lot of season 5...
 
2018-03-06 01:46:19 AM  
but we misjudged how these changes would be received by many of you

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-06 05:58:21 AM  

morg: Goddamn commies, can't even let me enjoy a lottery.


You kidding, this is exactly the kind of lottery the Soviets loved.
 
2018-03-06 06:15:14 AM  

Excelsior: holdmybones: The crayon made homer smarter, subby.

No, removing it made him smarter, and he decided that he'd rather be his old dumb self and had it re-inserted.


Fark me. I'm my defense, my crayon doesn't come out until next month. Dr Nick is shockingly busy these days.
 
2018-03-06 06:35:57 AM  

Endive Wombat: fusillade762: Everyone hated the idea (from another article)

Of roughly 500 comments I read, four were positive (and three of those were from the company's vice president for human resources,

Also: Can you imagine rolling into the employee parking lot in a brand new Mercedes and seeing the looks of all your pissed off co-workers?

And as a regular passenger, how do you think that I feel about the maintenance employee's dedication to the job?

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic here...but it deeply concerns me.


I would worry more about what the airline is doing to cut corners on maintenance cost.
 
2018-03-06 07:01:23 AM  
Glengarry, Glenross was not a documentary.
 
2018-03-06 07:18:59 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Who wants Lottery Tickets?
 
2018-03-06 06:33:42 PM  
If this bonus program is anything like the periodic "improvements" airlines make to their Frequent Flyer programs, you can guarantee that the total amount they would have paid out in bonuses, cars, vacations, etc. is significantly less than what they've been paying out under their old plan.
 
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