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(NASCAR)   The Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series Pennzoil 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway is upon us. Insert NASFARK snark here. 3:30pm ET on FOX   ( nascar.com) divider line
    More: Live, Copyright, Stock Car Auto, NASCAR Digital Media, respective owners, Property, Turner Sports, RaceView trademark, National Association  
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184 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 04 Mar 2018 at 3:00 PM (29 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



212 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-03-04 02:00:22 PM  
Hope it is more exciting than the Kyle Larson 300 yesterday.
 
2018-03-04 03:06:33 PM  

FuLinHyu: Hope it is more exciting than the Kyle Larson 300 yesterday.


 You'd rather have the Kyle Busch 300?

/go Dammit go
 
2018-03-04 03:14:49 PM  
I'm on Xarelto now, so I guess that makes Brian Vickers my driver by default.

How's he doing this season?
 
2018-03-04 03:15:30 PM  
Let's go, SHR!
 
2018-03-04 03:17:51 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: I'm on Xarelto now, so I guess that makes Brian Vickers my driver by default.

How's he doing this season?


"Currently he is involved in numerous projects outside of racing and would welcome the chance to be back in the seat of a race car if the situaiton (sic) made sense for his career and goals. "
 
2018-03-04 03:22:32 PM  
At least with the race being on the West Coast I can actually watch the entire race... :D

But now I need food but I am here at home from work!
 
2018-03-04 03:23:00 PM  
Jimmie Johnson has failed pre-race inspection three times. The Car Chief Jess Saunder and not Chad were ejected. Why ???
 
2018-03-04 03:26:11 PM  
I SAW A SMOKE
 
2018-03-04 03:29:06 PM  
Are you not sports entertained?
biography.comView Full Size

I'm running behind and on mobile, but here's....

Your weekly NASFARK checklist!!!  Updated just slightly less than the NASCAR rulebook.


1) Hardcore gredunzas count, and every 1,100th post is a form of, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"   (Defending double winner:  DanZero - claimed at the 2017 World 600!)
1.MIC)  Post 1,262 is any form of, "Forget the double and screw the gredunza, I've done the triple!!!"  (Defending triple winners:  mikaloyd & bluorangefyre - simulclaimed at the 2017 Daytona 500!)
2) While we were away!
3) Constant reminders that Junior is retired and what it'll do to the sport
4) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
5.1)  Authorized idol usage on cars #48, #22, #2, #11 and #3 only!
6) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
6.1)  Status of the sunshine and who'll be bringing it back
7) Green flag pit party
8) The inevitable race commentator foul up
9) Phantom cautions (Use Code 4-n, where n=car number of the beneficiary)
10) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL Q/DISCORD BE DEPLOYED!
11)  HARUMPH! at each "competetion" caution or segment caution, and checking Brainless Fat France the Least's moisture levels
12-4-A1) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins and celebrations from his fan(s)
12-4-A2) Every single driver tries to take out 2/3rds of Team Penske, specifically HWSNBN 2.2
13) Race is official when any BK Racing driver and/or Min-E brings out the caution
14) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
15) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
16) Something not meant to catch fire does
16.1) Something not meant to fly does
17) Shut up DW!!!
17.1)  Shut up Mikey!!!
18) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
19) "Because #3 car" or "Crayons!"
20) Red flag classic car parade
21) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination that it won't end well
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Idol collateral damage warning
24) Hearing more and more about NASCAR's youth movement
25) The Bestest with your current standings after every stage
26) How well/poorly the anthem is done
27) "Here comes Dick Trickle!"
28) No third slashie because fark Austin Dillon!
29) Harvick shoves somebody into a fight
30) Do NOT deploy narwhals unless you want Macarena
31) Somebody questions the checklist
 
2018-03-04 03:29:52 PM  

bluorangefyre: Are you not sports entertained?
[biography.com image 300x300]
I'm running behind and on mobile, but here's....

Your weekly NASFARK checklist!!!  Updated just slightly less than the NASCAR rulebook.

1) Hardcore gredunzas count, and every 1,100th post is a form of, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"   (Defending double winner:  DanZero - claimed at the 2017 World 600!)
1.MIC)  Post 1,262 is any form of, "Forget the double and screw the gredunza, I've done the triple!!!"  (Defending triple winners:  mikaloyd & bluorangefyre - simulclaimed at the 2017 Daytona 500!)
2) While we were away!
3) Constant reminders that Junior is retired and what it'll do to the sport
4) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
5.1)  Authorized idol usage on cars #48, #22, #2, #11 and #3 only!
6) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
6.1)  Status of the sunshine and who'll be bringing it back
7) Green flag pit party
8) The inevitable race commentator foul up
9) Phantom cautions (Use Code 4-n, where n=car number of the beneficiary)
10) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL Q/DISCORD BE DEPLOYED!
11)  HARUMPH! at each "competetion" caution or segment caution, and checking Brainless Fat France the Least's moisture levels
12-4-A1) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins and celebrations from his fan(s)
12-4-A2) Every single driver tries to take out 2/3rds of Team Penske, specifically HWSNBN 2.2
13) Race is official when any BK Racing driver and/or Min-E brings out the caution
14) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
15) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
16) Something not meant to catch fire does
16.1) Something not meant to fly does
17) Shut up DW!!!
17.1)  Shut up Mikey!!!
18) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
19) "Because #3 car" or "Crayons!"
20) Red flag classic car parade
21) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination that it won't end well
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Idol collateral damage warning
24) Hearing more and more about NASCAR's youth movement
25) The Bestest with your current standings after every stage
26) How well/poorly the anthem is done
27) "Here comes Dick Trickle!"
28) No third slashie because fark Austin Dillon!
29) Harvick shoves somebody into a fight
30) Do NOT deploy narwhals unless you want Macarena
31) Somebody questions the checklist


I question the checklist
 
2018-03-04 03:29:54 PM  
Checking in......Mikey walk.
 
2018-03-04 03:31:45 PM  
.38 Special? Wow
 
2018-03-04 03:31:45 PM  
Who?
 
2018-03-04 03:32:34 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: .38 Special? Wow


.45 Grave would have been cooler.
 
2018-03-04 03:32:54 PM  
That was .....interesting.
 
2018-03-04 03:34:09 PM  

SeikaArashi: Who?


38 Special - Hold On Loosely
Youtube vJtf7R_oVaw
 
2018-03-04 03:34:29 PM  
Note to self: Don't go see .38 Special.
 
2018-03-04 03:36:00 PM  

Tenga: Note to self: Don't go see .38 Special.


Could be a tribute band with the original back up bass player ?
 
2018-03-04 03:37:51 PM  
VEGAS BABY !!!     (but the traffic there sucks)
 
2018-03-04 03:38:14 PM  
NASCAR is quoting HST now?
Oh well.
 
2018-03-04 03:38:41 PM  
I hope we get a nice 30-45 minute red flag so it delays whatever Billy Graham special they have planned.

Do evangelicals use Twitter?
 
2018-03-04 03:39:07 PM  
Good command
 
2018-03-04 03:40:01 PM  

Professor Farksworth: I hope we get a nice 30-45 minute red flag so it delays whatever Billy Graham special they have planned.

Do evangelicals use Twitter?


What we the odds they cover the truly horrific things he said about Jews and gays?
 
2018-03-04 03:41:42 PM  
'lots of las vegas glitz'

*shows carrot top*

youkeepusingthatword.jpg
 
2018-03-04 03:41:44 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Professor Farksworth: I hope we get a nice 30-45 minute red flag so it delays whatever Billy Graham special they have planned.

Do evangelicals use Twitter?

What we the odds they cover the truly horrific things he said about Jews and gays?


Precisely zero, which is ironic because they'll be sucking his dick the whole special.
 
2018-03-04 03:43:19 PM  
I'll take my boys #4 Happy, #14 Itchy and #41 Meds. Anybody see the dragstrip in the background ? They widened it to 4 lanes over the winter  (which I'm not a fan of 4 wide racing).
 
2018-03-04 03:46:14 PM  
37 starters. That's sad
 
2018-03-04 03:46:21 PM  
48 trying to slip something through?  you don't say
 
2018-03-04 03:47:06 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: 37 starters. That's sad


up one from last week
 
2018-03-04 03:47:11 PM  
KyBu or Logan in a fight?
I don't care. As long as it is a long bloody slobber knocker we all win.
 
2018-03-04 03:48:41 PM  
BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY
ROLL THEM DICE AND DON'T CRAP OUT
 
2018-03-04 03:48:51 PM  
sorry for no standings at the end of last race. Elimination Chamber was on and the race itself kinda made me not give a crap.

Nevertheless, no excuses.. here are your pre-race standings:

1. Jowy - 89
2. Blaney - 83 (1)
3. Surprise - 77
4. Happy - 75w (6)
5. Itchy - 74
6. Asshat - 70w (5)
7. Truex the Greater - 69
8. Xanax - 68 (1)
9. a paint roller from Menard's - 66
10. Bacon - 66
11. Shrub - 61
12. Horsie - 58 (1)
13. Dammit - 54
14. Bubba - 52
15. a towel - 52
16. Strax - 49
--------------------------
17. A-Bow - 46
18. Buescher - 45
19. Gnome - 44
20. Wrecky Spinhouse - 43
21. MacMary - 41
22. Dinger - 36
23. Cubert - 35
24. Ol' Man Bayne - 33
25. Lord Byron - 33
26. Southbound - 27
27. Raygun - 25
28. Min-E - 19
29. Kahne - 19
30. Gaulding - 1
----------------------
31. Guido - 16
32. Mark Thompson - 15
33. Kennington - 13
34. Crayons - 12
35. HWSNBN - 11
36. Gaughan - 9
37. Cool Whip - 9
38. Harrion Rhodes - 4
39. Princess Crumplefenders - 2
40. LaJoie - 1
 
2018-03-04 03:50:20 PM  

AngryDesertDweller: Tenga: Note to self: Don't go see .38 Special.

Could be a tribute band with the original back up bass player ?


Met them one time, and I usually don't even bring it up.
 
2018-03-04 03:50:33 PM  
NEW LEADER: HAPPY HARVICK!!

QMB's panties reporting rain.
 
2018-03-04 03:51:52 PM  
kybu go out on the town and relieve some stress last night or is he going to be cursing his team all day again
 
2018-03-04 03:52:16 PM  

Professor Farksworth: NEW LEADER: HAPPY HARVICK!!

QMB's panties reporting rain.


This is not your personal erotica site
 
2018-03-04 03:53:06 PM  
Jimmie is up 8 spots :)
 
2018-03-04 03:54:01 PM  
The pace is gonna change "dramasticly"?

That there is a perfectly cromulent word, Jeff
 
2018-03-04 03:54:19 PM  
The track is going to change dramastically.
 
2018-03-04 03:54:53 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: The pace is gonna change "dramasticly"?

That there is a perfectly cromulent word, Jeff


gosh darn.
 
2018-03-04 03:54:55 PM  
Dramasticly. I like it.
 
2018-03-04 03:55:20 PM  

Obscene_CNN: Jimmie is up 8 spots :)


So the check or payoff of Brainless gambling debts to get him in the race worked
 
2018-03-04 03:55:27 PM  
It needs to be put in next week's headline.
 
2018-03-04 03:57:53 PM  
Hey! A wild Warchild appeared!
 
2018-03-04 03:57:57 PM  
The difference in Blaney's look, with and without the long hair, is very dramastic
 
2018-03-04 03:58:46 PM  

Obscene_CNN: Jimmie is up 8 spots :)


And hit the wall, but not hard enough
 
2018-03-04 03:59:58 PM  
and here I thought I butcher words like crazy... At least my Youtube channel is only so many subscribers and not on live TV when I do that. :D
 
2018-03-04 04:00:10 PM  
Dramastic is the stuff they cover the stage with to keep it clean while painting scenery.
 
2018-03-04 04:03:29 PM  
I'm gonna start using dramastically.
 
2018-03-04 04:04:40 PM  

Mztlplx: Dramastic is the stuff they cover the stage with to keep it clean while painting scenery.


Dramasticate is when someone chews loudly so you know they're eating?
 
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