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(Uproxx)   Um...to use the Force and...um... rescue Han while... dammit, it makes no sense there goes the childhood   ( uproxx.com) divider line
    More: Fail, luke, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jabba, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, R2-D2, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi  
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5432 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Mar 2018 at 2:43 PM (33 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-03-03 09:52:07 AM  
Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.
 
2018-03-03 10:44:53 AM  
I have developed a genuine hatred of movies where the big plan for the hero or villain involves being captured.
 
2018-03-03 11:08:11 AM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


Always seemed really obvious to me.
 
2018-03-03 11:22:54 AM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


It's a movie for kids. If it takes adults drinking adult drinks and having loud arguments to flesh out plot points, they are obviously trying too hard.

The only one who was unaware was 3PO, but only because that is his static character trait and Luke used that to his advantage. It's always better to go into a known fight with backup than alone - even if you are a Jedi.
 
2018-03-03 11:34:52 AM  
Everything went just as planned of course. It is obvious that Luke took a dive and didn't even try to use the Jedi mind trick. He didn't even wave his hand at Jabba. If Luke just walked out of there with Han by asking we would all have missed out on the Slave Leia Metal Bikini.

Luke is just a sick fark that way.
 
2018-03-03 11:45:57 AM  
Luke's plan always involved getting Leia captured so he could see her in a metal bikini. That's why he sent her in first - knowing she would be captured.

He just wanted to see his sister's tittays
 
2018-03-03 12:26:28 PM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


I can get on board with this, especially pertaining to Lando going undercover, but if this is the case then Leia got froggy and jumped early, trying to free Han and getting captured in the process. If the plan always revolved around Luke's big move, then she should've stayed in disguise until he arrived. It also meant potentially sacrificing Chewbacca in the process. What if Jabba had sent him into the Rancor pit? I'm not confident he would win that without force powers.
 
2018-03-03 12:47:04 PM  

domino324: bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.

I can get on board with this, especially pertaining to Lando going undercover, but if this is the case then Leia got froggy and jumped early, trying to free Han and getting captured in the process. If the plan always revolved around Luke's big move, then she should've stayed in disguise until he arrived. It also meant potentially sacrificing Chewbacca in the process. What if Jabba had sent him into the Rancor pit? I'm not confident he would win that without force powers.


Didn't say it was a GOOD plan. Also, stuff happens. People jump the gun, make mistakes, etc.
 
2018-03-03 01:15:46 PM  
Hey "YourBlogSucks" writer:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 01:35:35 PM  
Just on a hunch... I'd think Luke's (aka Mark Hamill) idea was to follow the script.
 
2018-03-03 01:37:54 PM  
It's almost like someone was just making sh*t up
 
2018-03-03 01:49:54 PM  
I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.
 
2018-03-03 01:51:02 PM  
Maybe a bit off topic, but the more I think about it, I feel this has a place here:


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 01:52:12 PM  
Sorry, I meant to say planets like Hoth.  I'm aware that they...shiat.  This is a lost cause. Nevermind.

/Fanbois gonna fan.
 
2018-03-03 01:57:13 PM  

PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.


The Rebellion probably didn't care about rescuing one random smuggler when they're losing pilots all the time, and Luke et al. were personally loyal to Han?
 
2018-03-03 02:49:12 PM  
I always assumed that there were two separate, independent plans (Leia/Lando's working together, Luke working alone because he's kind of cocky after "completing" his training) that just sort of merged into one.
 
2018-03-03 02:50:22 PM  

PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.


The entire original Star Wars trilogy in three lines:

Luke, Han, and/or Leia: "I'm gonna do this thing."
Everyone else: "Don't do the thing."
Luke, Han, and/or Leia: *does the thing anyway*
 
2018-03-03 02:52:03 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 02:56:11 PM  
Wow, an article discussing the plot holes in a 35 year-old kids film.

How delightfully droll!
 
2018-03-03 02:57:10 PM  
It's a genuinely terrible movie with some amazing graphics and mise en scene. A disappointment wrapped in a failure made worse by the obvious quality of the ingredients. Like ordering Chanterelle Short Rib Stroganoff and Garden Asaparagus off the menu at Four Seasons, and getting hamburger cream of mushroom soup and green beans in a paper bowl.

It was a prequel to the prequels, honestly. It embodies the exact same kinds of dreadful failure and waste that signal the complete breakdown of a studio property. It was the beginning of the end; its only merit was to complete a narrative continuity in some fashion or another and provide the required minimum catharsis to fulfill the pact between storyteller and audience.
 
2018-03-03 03:03:21 PM  
SPOILER ALERT
 
2018-03-03 03:05:02 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 03:06:13 PM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


This. Hell... even before jedi mind trick, there was a chance that the rebellion could pay off Solo's debt to Jabba and throw in some interests and he'd go for it. He was a business-creature after all. Leia probably dropped the farking ball by trying to steal Solo before Luke tried bargaining though. It would make Jabba look weak to bargain after they tried stealing Solo. Even if they suspected Jabba wouldn't bargain anyways, it was still worth a try.
 
2018-03-03 03:08:39 PM  

PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.


Well, it's worth noting that Leia is a Princess-in-name-only, as her planet (and most of her subjects) was blown away by the first Death Star. And, as you said, Luke is the last Jedi. Who, exactly, are you imagining was jumping up to be the first one to try to tell him what to do? Seriously, he's a mythical figure that, at best, you ask politely and just hope he's nice enough to go along with it. Plus, you know, his dad is the most terrifying m-f- in the galaxy.
 
2018-03-03 03:09:03 PM  

Sid_6.7: PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.

The Rebellion probably didn't care about rescuing one random smuggler when they're losing pilots all the time, and Luke et al. were personally loyal to Han?


This. It's not like "The Rebellion" rescued Han, it was Luke and Leia and Han's friends who rescued him.

I'm sure Ackbar could have gone in with a Calamari cruiser, guns blazing, if the Rebellion wanted to make it a priority.
 
2018-03-03 03:09:22 PM  
This was the plan, and for me, it totally worked. I shut up and gave my money, twice.



CARRIE FISHER no underwear DEBBIE REYNOLDS Funeral PRINCESS LEIA Star Wars GOLD BIKINI
Youtube 64sZn3bU7mY
 
2018-03-03 03:12:39 PM  
Obviously it was to keep Rebel Alliance operatives trickling in to Jabba's place one or two at a time to get captured. Once a few hundred of them were there, prisoner uprising!
 
2018-03-03 03:14:16 PM  

PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place? Leia was a princess involved in the top echelon of an intergalactic rebellion.  The imperial price on her would have been HUGE. There is no way she didn't go everywhere without at least twenty-seven bodyguards, not with that kind of attention. And Luke is pretty much the last Jedi alive--also involved with the same rebellion. And their superiors (if there are any) are just going to let them both go galavanting off into parts unknown just to save Han?  I don't farking think so.  They've got hundreds of bodies freezing their asses off on Hoth.  Here's a clue-by-four:  those guys would GLADLY volunteer for a mission like that.

Luke and Leia SHOULD have been grounded for the entirety of the third movie.


Because. George. Is. Not. A. Good. Writer.

He never was. And I don't want to hear one farking word that it was a kids movie. 1. There's no farking kids in the movie. 2. There are any number of amazingly written kid's stories. Star wars is none of them.
 
2018-03-03 03:26:15 PM  

PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place?


Same reason Kirk was always beaming his ass down into the unknown and/or trouble.
 
2018-03-03 03:32:35 PM  

SFSailor: PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place?

Same reason Kirk was always beaming his ass down into the unknown and/or trouble.


And why is the ship's surgeon always going on away missions?  Or Deanna Troi working undercover disguised as a Romulan?
 
2018-03-03 03:33:19 PM  

Spice Must Flow: [img.fark.net image 460x298]


Username checks out.
 
2018-03-03 03:33:22 PM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


Yeah, it's a clickbait article.
 
2018-03-03 03:36:23 PM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


Well, it's sort of bad form to let your sister to be sexually molested by a 10 foot slug in the meantime.

/Was that part of the plan?
 
2018-03-03 03:36:54 PM  
It's just an excuse to have a bunch of fun aliens and action scenes to open the movie (And they had to explain how Han got back once Ford re-upped.)

Realistically, Luke could have just flown his xwing over and threatened to burn the palace to the ground until jabba pushed solo out the front door,  but it would have skipped some fun action stuff and the metal bikini scenes, which would have delayed puberty for several generations of American men.
 
2018-03-03 03:45:09 PM  
As for the original question, it's probably a good time to point out that "planning" isn't exactly Luke's strong suit.
A. My droid ran away! Let me chase him, alone, into Sand People territory!
B. Storm Troopers are likely swarming my home, right now! Let's run directly there, whilst leaving behind the only member of my party with a clue on how to fight!
C. We're already trapped on a massive, planet-killing space station! Let's abandon the current plan to get ourselves out of certain death, and hare off to save a princess-I've-never-met!
D. Who needs a targeting computer?! I'm hearing voices! Surely my potential psychotic break with reality is correct!
E. We're being attacked by giant death-machines! Let's go out and lasso their legs!
F. The most badass force wielder I've ever heard of is after my friends! Surely abandoning my training midway and haring off alone will save them!

Seriously, he's not all that bright, he's just Force-lucky, which gives him the ability to pull Deus ex Machinae from his ass.
 
2018-03-03 03:51:23 PM  
The plan was to sell toys.
 
2018-03-03 03:55:54 PM  
Meh,

I am more annoyed that at the end of Revenge of the Sith the Jedi plan was to quit and either go live in a swamp or desert amd do nothing until Luke randomly shows up with R2.
 
2018-03-03 03:57:12 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 04:00:57 PM  

LongWindedMute: As for the original question, it's probably a good time to point out that "planning" isn't exactly Luke's strong suit.
A. My droid ran away! Let me chase him, alone, into Sand People territory!
B. Storm Troopers are likely swarming my home, right now! Let's run directly there, whilst leaving behind the only member of my party with a clue on how to fight!
C. We're already trapped on a massive, planet-killing space station! Let's abandon the current plan to get ourselves out of certain death, and hare off to save a princess-I've-never-met!
D. Who needs a targeting computer?! I'm hearing voices! Surely my potential psychotic break with reality is correct!
E. We're being attacked by giant death-machines! Let's go out and lasso their legs!
F. The most badass force wielder I've ever heard of is after my friends! Surely abandoning my training midway and haring off alone will save them!

Seriously, he's not all that bright, he's just Force-lucky, which gives him the ability to pull Deus ex Machinae from his ass.


G. Han's kid MIGHT be up to no good, let me throw away everything I've built to run away to exile, putting my sister and her cause in danger!
 
2018-03-03 04:02:14 PM  

bloobeary: Luke's plan was to walk in, and Jedi Mindtrick Jabba into just handing Han over.
The others went in undercover ahead of time to be there as backup, and provide him with a weapon (lightsaber hidden inside artoo) just in case things didn't go smoothly.

I don't see how this is difficult to grasp.


Modern Sperglords work very hard to dislike things everyone enjoys.

As it turns out reality is unrealistic anyway.
 
2018-03-03 04:04:47 PM  

willfullyobscure: It's a genuinely terrible movie with some amazing graphics and mise en scene. A disappointment wrapped in a failure made worse by the obvious quality of the ingredients. Like ordering Chanterelle Short Rib Stroganoff and Garden Asaparagus off the menu at Four Seasons, and getting hamburger cream of mushroom soup and green beans in a paper bowl.

It was a prequel to the prequels, honestly. It embodies the exact same kinds of dreadful failure and waste that signal the complete breakdown of a studio property. It was the beginning of the end; its only merit was to complete a narrative continuity in some fashion or another and provide the required minimum catharsis to fulfill the pact between storyteller and audience.


John Simon's corpse just ejaculated
 
2018-03-03 04:05:40 PM  
i.stack.imgur.comView Full Size


That one scene debunks that so-called article.
Dude got paid for that shiat?
 
2018-03-03 04:08:56 PM  

kbronsito: This. Hell... even before jedi mind trick, there was a chance that the rebellion could pay off Solo's debt to Jabba and throw in some interests and he'd go for it. He was a business-creature after all. Leia probably dropped the farking ball by trying to steal Solo before Luke tried bargaining though. It would make Jabba look weak to bargain after they tried stealing Solo. Even if they suspected Jabba wouldn't bargain anyways, it was still worth a try.


Pretty much. Han was a commander in the Rebellion, so there was a large profit to be made. Moreover, Vader dropped the ball when torturing him by not asking for intel. Jabba could have made a fat payday finding the right Imperial and starting a bidding war with the Rebellion.

The good guys in the Star Wars universe have no sense of military structure. Everyone and their brother is a general or admiral. Is rank given by dead man's boots, or crackerjack boxes?
 
2018-03-03 04:10:36 PM  

Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: , SFSailor: PainInTheASP: I've got an honest farking question.  Why the fark were they there in the first goddamn place?

Same reason Kirk was always beaming his ass down into the unknown and/or trouble.

And why is the ship's surgeon always going on away missions?  Or Deanna Troi working undercover disguised as a Romulan?


As Mama Fano always said "because then there wouldn't be a story. Now shut your mouth and go get some popcorn."
 
2018-03-03 04:12:14 PM  
Its like the original Star Wars films were never thought out that deeply and literally made up on the spot as they were filming.

/which they were
//ROFJ was actually a good movie
///mainly because Lucas didn't direct it
/slashies remembers
 
2018-03-03 04:13:45 PM  
He got Jabba to take everyone outside.
Less secure, less men, easier escape.
Only an idiot would try fighting their way out of the palace.

It's the same reason tiny rebel groups ambush convoys instead of attacking the depot.
 
2018-03-03 04:14:23 PM  

snoopy2zero: Meh,

I am more annoyed that at the end of Revenge of the Sith the Jedi plan was to quit and either go live in a swamp or desert amd do nothing until Luke randomly shows up with R2.


They probably should have been shown more desperately going into hiding.

Yoda got a pretty clean getaway for someone who took a shot at the Queen Bee.
 
2018-03-03 04:15:59 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: kbronsito: This. Hell... even before jedi mind trick, there was a chance that the rebellion could pay off Solo's debt to Jabba and throw in some interests and he'd go for it. He was a business-creature after all. Leia probably dropped the farking ball by trying to steal Solo before Luke tried bargaining though. It would make Jabba look weak to bargain after they tried stealing Solo. Even if they suspected Jabba wouldn't bargain anyways, it was still worth a try.

Pretty much. Han was a commander in the Rebellion, so there was a large profit to be made. Moreover, Vader dropped the ball when torturing him by not asking for intel. Jabba could have made a fat payday finding the right Imperial and starting a bidding war with the Rebellion.

The good guys in the Star Wars universe have no sense of military structure. Everyone and their brother is a general or admiral. Is rank given by dead man's boots, or crackerjack boxes?


It makes recruiting very attractive
 
2018-03-03 04:18:45 PM  

Gubbo: I have developed a genuine hatred of movies where the big plan for the hero or villain involves being captured.


Why? It has always worked so well in the past.
imageenvision.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 04:30:20 PM  
One Naboo cruiser got through the blockade.
 
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