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(Onion AV Club)   Marky Mark's "Six Billion Dollar Man" movie to finally come out next year. Bettah, strongah, fastah, contractually obligated to say "Hi" to Oscah Goldman's mothah   ( avclub.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Million Dollar Man, Film, recent Transformers movie, Warner Bros., The Weinstein Company, inflation-adjusted film version, slow-motion action sequences, Mark Wahlberg  
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1340 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Mar 2018 at 11:45 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-03 09:26:25 AM  
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no way he pulls it off.  he doesn't have the range.
 
2018-03-03 09:33:41 AM  
When he gets rebuilt, does he get Dirk Diggler's penis?
 
2018-03-03 10:31:50 AM  

Brawndo: When he gets rebuilt, does he get Dirk Diggler's penis?


Of course. There's a lot of inflation involved here.
 
2018-03-03 11:06:56 AM  

elvisaintdead: [img.fark.net image 580x549]


no way he pulls it off.  he doesn't have the range.


Bigfoot did have a lot of lines in that episode.  What's crazy is I still remember it.  The double crazy is that before VCR's, DVR's, on demand, and extreme syndication.  You see the episode at the most twice a year unless it gets really good ratings when they might bring it out some other thing.  So seeing an hour of TV once or twice and 40+ years later.  I can still remember it.
 
2018-03-03 11:50:01 AM  
He's halfway there.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 12:03:13 PM  
Wahlberg - 'What? No!'
Youtube jEbl-umsFOM
 
2018-03-03 12:08:36 PM  
It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.
 
2018-03-03 12:13:17 PM  

wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.


I am working some OT from home today, and am currently helping an Asian lady on the phone.  I am trying not to laugh, it is ROUGH!
 
2018-03-03 12:18:14 PM  
Why'd they make him so short?
 
2018-03-03 12:21:32 PM  

theflatline: wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.

I am working some OT from home today, and am currently helping an Asian lady on the phone.  I am trying not to laugh, it is ROUGH!


*LOUGH
 
2018-03-03 12:29:42 PM  

jayphat: theflatline: wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.

I am working some OT from home today, and am currently helping an Asian lady on the phone.  I am trying not to laugh, it is ROUGH!

*LOUGH


Hahahahaha.  I am still on the phone with her, and still trying not to crack up, she just said "you sound so happy to be working on a Saturday"
 
2018-03-03 12:30:19 PM  

jayphat: theflatline: wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.

I am working some OT from home today, and am currently helping an Asian lady on the phone.  I am trying not to laugh, it is ROUGH!

*LOUGH


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 12:31:17 PM  
Still less than spent rescuing Matt Damon
 
2018-03-03 12:32:19 PM  
"Hey, bro!  Here's uh Bionic Eye tuh replace thu one l poked outta yuh head, bro."
 
2018-03-03 12:32:34 PM  
Mr.Wu.wmv
Youtube LJVqeWDXjqc
 
2018-03-03 12:38:14 PM  

theflatline: jayphat: theflatline: wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.

I am working some OT from home today, and am currently helping an Asian lady on the phone.  I am trying not to laugh, it is ROUGH!

*LOUGH

Hahahahaha.  I am still on the phone with her, and still trying not to crack up, she just said "you sound so happy to be working on a Saturday"


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 01:06:10 PM  
This thread has taken a turn toward "I'm going to hell for laughing"

I'm ok with that

Last thing I remember hearing about a 6M$man movie, it was to be a comedy based on the fact that 6mil doesn't go nearly as far as it used to. Anyone else hear the same thing, or was that one of those times where I mixed medications?
 
2018-03-03 01:13:58 PM  

Ghost Roach: This thread has taken a turn toward "I'm going to hell for laughing"

I'm ok with that

Last thing I remember hearing about a 6M$man movie, it was to be a comedy based on the fact that 6mil doesn't go nearly as far as it used to. Anyone else hear the same thing, or was that one of those times where I mixed medications?


You mixed meds and were watching Inspector Gadget.
 
2018-03-03 01:14:03 PM  
I hope they have the favorite baddies: Fembots
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and a Venus space probe
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2018-03-03 01:36:45 PM  
I have been going nuts trying to find a Steve Austin, Six-Million-Dollar-Man-styled red track suit, with the white piping and no logos, in a Men's 4x, for cosplay.  Anybody got a source?
 
2018-03-03 01:41:13 PM  
Marky Mark's Bionic Man:  Able to beat the crap out of multiple Asian men in half the time required by a normal Bostonian.
 
2018-03-03 01:43:11 PM  
Will there also be a Bionic Woman love interest (who won't get a headache, as she did in the TV show) to give us a bionic love scene, or will she resort to a 6 million dollar Steely Dan?

And what about the dog?
 
2018-03-03 01:52:24 PM  
At first I was like

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elvisaintdead: [img.fark.net image 580x549]


no way he pulls it off.  he doesn't have the range.


but then I was like

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 01:56:22 PM  
*fart* "what, you don't know how to play David Bannah?"
 
2018-03-03 02:16:56 PM  
For $6 Billion, he better have the gadgets of Inspector Gadget.  Yeah, I know $6m doesn't go as far as it used to, but electronic developments means we can have far more for the buck than they would've back in the 80s.  He should be a Transformer, Inspector Gadget, Robocop hybrid.
 
2018-03-03 03:03:38 PM  
I have a hard time believing this won't suck. Partly due to how much I watched the tv show as a kid, I fully admit that.

The Bigfoot episodes were cool, the Death Probe one's were cool, all the throwdowns with the Fembots ( like when Steve decapitated an Oscar Goldman robot with a karate chop) the time when a space rage enhanced BJ Honeycutt kicked Steve's ass, the Seven Million Dollar Man, etc.
Plus, the pure awesome ways he took out bad guys: with a football to the rifle in the episode with Dick Butkus and Larry Csonka, a wound up ball of wire he checks through a window and bags a sniper, a hubcap to the chest, a bionic Jim Kirk style flying drop kick that had to have killed Yamel the thug.
But my personal favorite, by far, ripping a steel fence post out of the ground, complete with concrete block on the end and winging it into the side of a sonic weapon truck.
 
2018-03-03 03:17:59 PM  
I always found it amusing that Steve Austin, who in story cannon, was an Apollo Astronaut and walked on the Moon... would be able to go under cover as a secret agent, and nobody would ever recognize him.   Then again, maybe not - how many "average" Americans could recognize any Apollo astronauts on the street, except for Neil and Buzz?

BTW, The Martin Caidin books that inspired the TV show are really good and hold up pretty well.
 
2018-03-03 03:44:37 PM  
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Can I tell his mother to frig off instead?
 
2018-03-03 03:45:29 PM  
Here's Malk Wahlberg in character.
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2018-03-03 03:55:46 PM  

The5thElement: Here's Malk Wahlberg in character.[img.fark.net image 425x530]


Now with vitamin R?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 04:07:28 PM  

Thong_of_Zardoz: The5thElement: Here's Malk Wahlberg in character.[img.fark.net image 425x530]

Now with vitamin R?

[img.fark.net image 259x195]


Ah yes, preview is my friend.
 
2018-03-03 05:51:08 PM  
Will he finally have a bionic spine for the nitpickers?
 
2018-03-03 06:39:06 PM  

wellreadneck: It'll be a tad ironic if his new bionic eye comes from Asia.


img.fark.netView Full Size

is not amused by your shenanigans.
 
2018-03-03 07:51:32 PM  
I'll see this if Marky Mark pays me $10,000. Not a dime less.

He sucks donkey dicks.
 
2018-03-03 08:11:44 PM  
hoaxblog.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 09:04:10 PM  
Six Billion Dollar Man
Now With High Pitched Girly Voice!
 
2018-03-03 09:26:06 PM  
I really don't like Wahlbergs acting in 80% things. His range blows. This'll flop
 
2018-03-03 10:15:18 PM  

berylman: I really don't like Wahlbergs acting in 80% things. His range blows. This'll flop


He's horrendous.
 
2018-03-03 10:44:35 PM  

BizarreMan: elvisaintdead: [img.fark.net image 580x549]


no way he pulls it off.  he doesn't have the range.

Bigfoot did have a lot of lines in that episode.  What's crazy is I still remember it.  The double crazy is that before VCR's, DVR's, on demand, and extreme syndication.  You see the episode at the most twice a year unless it gets really good ratings when they might bring it out some other thing.  So seeing an hour of TV once or twice and 40+ years later.  I can still remember it.


Bizarre,Man. But back then we weren't butt-stuffed with a world wide web of non stop information, entertainment and what not. Things used to be consumable and sometimes memorable.
 
2018-03-04 02:33:02 AM  
I have terrible taste. Will check out.
 
2018-03-04 02:38:47 PM  
I've  been reminiscing about 80s TV shows lately. Air Wolf, Magnum PI, the A-Team, and so on. If they stick  to the formula they can make it work. Lotta action sequences.   Interesting sidekicks. Hot women. Cool gadgets. And set a tone and stick to it - tongue-in-cheek or serious or Campy or whedon or whatever.  And don't have whalberg act.
 
2018-03-04 04:52:47 PM  

trapped-in-CH: I've  been reminiscing about 80s TV shows lately. Air Wolf, Magnum PI, the A-Team, and so on. If they stick  to the formula they can make it work. Lotta action sequences.   Interesting sidekicks. Hot women. Cool gadgets. And set a tone and stick to it - tongue-in-cheek or serious or Campy or whedon or whatever.  And don't have whalberg act.


There's a new show on the CBC called Caught that looks a lot like those old '80s shows in the promos.  They even use the old-fashioned CBC logo in the show's banner.  Haven't watched it yet so I don't know if it's any good, but you might want to give it a try, eh?

Caught - Official Trailer
Youtube l3XJayjTtYY


http://www.cbc.ca/mediacentre/program​/​caught
 
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