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(Digital Spy)   Bruce Willis's Death Wish remake is more odious than Garfield and will make you wish for a quick death   ( digitalspy.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Film, absolute wrong time, absolute wrong movie, Movie theater, Death Wish, Feature film, Grindhouse, Movie projector  
•       •       •

1811 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Mar 2018 at 12:19 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-03-02 09:55:45 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-02 09:58:33 PM  
Unless it has Christopher Guest I'm not sure what the point is.
 
2018-03-03 12:20:59 AM  
Whoopee-ki-ay, motherf*cker
 
2018-03-03 12:27:03 AM  
Eli Roth is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible director. Terrible.
 
2018-03-03 12:27:47 AM  
There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

Charles Bronson Murders Everyone!
Youtube KRAT1-c7q98
 
2018-03-03 12:28:31 AM  
I'm probably going to see it tomorrow because I've got some time to kill. Talked a couple people who have seen it, and they said it was a solid B movie. Surprisingly, Bruce Willis seemed to be awake during this one according to them.
 
2018-03-03 12:34:22 AM  
The Simpsons: Charles Bronson on The Simpsons
Youtube GDIoy9deFAc
 
2018-03-03 12:42:07 AM  
I see dead careers. They don't know they're dead.
 
2018-03-03 12:43:03 AM  

rassleholic: [YouTube video: The Simpsons: Charles Bronson on The Simpsons]


Now I want to visit Bronsonville.
 
2018-03-03 12:46:10 AM  
The one saving grace for the Bronson films (before Cannon started milking a dry cow with 3) is that he genuinely had justification for it. Before people get up in arms, he's shown to really hate guns in the beginning as well.

The new film is a (predictable) Roth wankfest where Roth again, doesn't understand a goddamn thing about plot, writing, character development or directing. He's the thinking man's Michael Bay, which isn't saying much.
 
2018-03-03 12:47:21 AM  

Smackledorfer: rassleholic: [YouTube video: The Simpsons: Charles Bronson on The Simpsons]

Now I want to visit Bronsonville.


No dice.
 
2018-03-03 12:50:40 AM  

DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]


the death wish movies after the first one are basically just slasher films where the music queues are mixed up
 
2018-03-03 12:59:54 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Approves
 
2018-03-03 01:24:35 AM  

DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube KRAT1-c7q98 image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]


Bronson's fascinating in Death Wish 3-5.  He's visibly bored in every scene but still somehow delivers.
 
2018-03-03 01:26:14 AM  

Outshined_One: Smackledorfer: rassleholic: [YouTube video: The Simpsons: Charles Bronson on The Simpsons]

Now I want to visit Bronsonville.

No dice.


This ain't ova
 
2018-03-03 01:31:34 AM  

Biledriver: DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube KRAT1-c7q98 image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]

Bronson's fascinating in Death Wish 3-5.  He's visibly bored in every scene but still somehow delivers.


Visibly bored was Bronson's acting style throughout his career. I have no interest in this remake, no one can top Bronson.
 
2018-03-03 01:40:01 AM  
A white male lone wolf vigilante with guns. Terrific
 
2018-03-03 01:40:26 AM  

Biledriver: DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube KRAT1-c7q98 image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]

Bronson's fascinating in Death Wish 3-5.  He's visibly bored in every scene but still somehow delivers.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 01:51:36 AM  

DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube KRAT1-c7q98 image 480x270][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]


I'm pretty sure if you held an M1919 like that your hand would melt to the barrel.
 
2018-03-03 02:00:46 AM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Eli Roth is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible director. Terrible.


You said terrible 5 times.
 
2018-03-03 03:25:47 AM  
I had no idea this was a thing until I happened on a trailer a few days ago. I was aghast. First, for remaking the damn thing. As if you can't just have a vigilante story and call it John Wick or something, you have to do Death Wish. And second, for just how tone-deaf it is to revisit Death Wish at this point. May as well call it White Justice.
 
2018-03-03 04:07:05 AM  
I think we can all agree that Garfield was more Odieous.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 04:58:48 AM  
Even accepting the premise that Death Wish needs to be remade............Willis? Really?
His jokey panache is perfect for a certain type of action hero - but Bronson's protagonist was only comprehensible as Bronson played him - dead serious and cold to the bone.
I can't see Willis pulling it off without rewriting the entire role.
 
2018-03-03 06:09:41 AM  
In some alternate universe, we're discussing the ninth installment of the Hudson Hawk franchise and I'm happy.
 
2018-03-03 06:17:39 AM  
It may not be the movie American wants, but it is the movie America needs right now.
 
2018-03-03 06:40:51 AM  
Angry white male psychopath with limitless guns. Suuuuure, this is a great thing to release now.

This movie is as ill-timed as Slayer releasing "God Hates Us All" on 9/11/2001. Granted, they couldn't have known what was going to happen.
 
2018-03-03 06:54:39 AM  

Aaron469: It may not be the movie American wants, but it is the movie America needs is right now.


FTFY
 
2018-03-03 06:55:06 AM  

meera's frog spear: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Eli Roth is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible director. Terrible.

You said terrible 5 times.


I like terrible. No, wait-
 
2018-03-03 07:07:47 AM  
Dammit.  There was a 70s revenge porn movie on recently...found it: Rolling Thunder (1977), starring William Devane and Tommy Lee Jones. Just throwing that out there.

Pacing and soubd was a bit weird, plot pretty much what you expect.
 
2018-03-03 08:41:13 AM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Eli Roth is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible director. Terrible.


'Thanksgiving' was awesome though!
 
2018-03-03 08:54:34 AM  

tlchwi02: DeltaPunch: There's no point in remaking any of the Death Wish movies, because nothing can ever top the god-awful awesomeness that is Death Wish 3.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KRAT1-c7​q98]

the death wish movies after the first one are basically just slasher films where the music queues are mixed up


They just line up?
 
2018-03-03 09:25:58 AM  

swahnhennessy: I had no idea this was a thing until I happened on a trailer a few days ago. I was aghast. First, for remaking the damn thing. As if you can't just have a vigilante story and call it John Wick or something, you have to do Death Wish. And second, for just how tone-deaf it is to revisit Death Wish at this point. May as well call it White Justice.


It was going to come out in November, but got delayed due to the Vegas shooting.  They picked a new release date ahead of time.  Oops.

/at least the reviews are hilarious
 
2018-03-03 09:46:11 AM  
It'd have been more interesting to remake this with Morgan Freeman.
 
2018-03-03 10:04:42 AM  

Znuh: The one saving grace for the Bronson films (before Cannon started milking a dry cow with 3) is that he genuinely had justification for it. Before people get up in arms, he's shown to really hate guns in the beginning as well.

The new film is a (predictable) Roth wankfest where Roth again, doesn't understand a goddamn thing about plot, writing, character development or directing. He's the thinking man's Michael Bay, which isn't saying much.


It's also the wrong era for rebooting this movie. The original came out before crime began to plummet around America. There really was a sense that we'd descend into some mad max society back then and the vigilante justice thing struck a cord. I haven't bothered with this remake... don't bother with most. (Ocassionaly there's a good one like The Fly). Maybe if they had tried to do something slightly different to fit our current outlook... for example, instead if big city crime, Kersey's family is attacked in their rural home by a bunch of tweakers looking for oxy at his home. Then it's not about this pasee idea of out of control crime in our mad max cities but about the encroachment of violent crime in our rural areas.
 
2018-03-03 10:35:41 AM  
It was gonna be Mel Gibson's Anti-Semetic Death Wish, Sugar Tits, but the studios backed out for some reason.
 
2018-03-03 10:45:01 AM  

fusillade762: Unless it has Christopher Guest Jeff GoldblumI'm not sure what the point is.

 
2018-03-03 10:58:36 AM  
I don't see why people would hate it....the trailers just show him killing a bunch of white guys.
 
2018-03-03 11:18:18 AM  
How in the world could you possibly top Charles Bronson in the first place? This was doomed to failure right from the beginning.
 
2018-03-03 11:25:15 AM  

Streetwise Hercules: In some alternate universe, we're discussing the ninth installment of the Hudson Hawk franchise and I'm happy.


Hudson Hawk is a good movie for about the first 40 minutes or so. Once Andie MacDowell's Vatican spy character is introduced, it gets irredeemably ridiculous.
 
2018-03-03 11:46:15 AM  

mikemoto: How in the world could you possibly top Charles Bronson in the first place? This was doomed to failure right from the beginning.


In the trailer I saw Willis is just yelling at everybody. Bronson never once raised his voice.
 
2018-03-03 11:56:07 AM  

SamFlagg: I think we can all agree that Garfield was more Odieous.

[i.pinimg.com image 236x239]

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-03 12:07:38 PM  
I was talking about this movie with my buddy about this movie the other day.  I brought up that at the end of the first movie Bronson's character has lost his humanity.  My buddy brought up the fact that "Deathwish" never finds the original attackers.  Based on the previews they thoroughly missed the point with this movie.
 
2018-03-03 12:08:16 PM  

riot_kid: I was talking about this movie with my buddy about this movie the other day.  I brought up that at the end of the first movie Bronson's character has lost his humanity.  My buddy brought up the fact that "Deathwish" never finds the original attackers.  Based on the previews they thoroughly missed the point with this movie.


Jesus Christ, I need a coffee.
 
2018-03-03 01:01:38 PM  

Your_Huckleberry: It'd have been more interesting to remake this with Morgan Freeman.


Or Morgan Fairchild!
 
2018-03-03 01:25:03 PM  
Eli Roth has really embraced the alt-right, going so far as to use terms like "SJW" and "cuck" unironically.  Plus, it recycles this tired right-wing trope that Chicago is this lawless hellhole (spoiler alert: not really.). This is a hard pass for me.
 
2018-03-03 01:29:42 PM  

born_yesterday: Dammit.  There was a 70s revenge porn movie on recently...found it: Rolling Thunder (1977), starring William Devane and Tommy Lee Jones. Just throwing that out there.

Pacing and soubd was a bit weird, plot pretty much what you expect.


it's too soon to talk about InSinkErator control.
 
2018-03-03 01:56:41 PM  

born_yesterday: Dammit.  There was a 70s revenge porn movie on recently...found it: Rolling Thunder (1977), starring William Devane and Tommy Lee Jones. Just throwing that out there.

Pacing and soubd was a bit weird, plot pretty much what you expect.


Yep, that movie was awesome for many reasons, one of which was that James Best (Roscoe P. Coletrane) was the main bad guy.  All sweaty and menacing.
 
2018-03-03 03:17:30 PM  
JESUS THIS CROWD. DEATH WISH IS LIKE THE REDNECK BLACK PANTHER
- ZODIAC MOTHERfarkER (@ZODIAC_MF) March 3, 2018
 
2018-03-03 03:37:19 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: JESUS THIS CROWD. DEATH WISH IS LIKE THE REDNECK BLACK PANTHER
- ZODIAC MOTHERfarkER (@ZODIAC_MF) March 3, 2018


His followup is even better:

BETWEEN TRAILERS IM GONNA JUMP UP AND YELL "HILLARY WAS ROBBED!" JUST FOR THE fark OF IT
1:43 PM - 3 Mar 2018
 
2018-03-03 04:51:05 PM  

kbronsito: Znuh: The one saving grace for the Bronson films (before Cannon started milking a dry cow with 3) is that he genuinely had justification for it. Before people get up in arms, he's shown to really hate guns in the beginning as well.

The new film is a (predictable) Roth wankfest where Roth again, doesn't understand a goddamn thing about plot, writing, character development or directing. He's the thinking man's Michael Bay, which isn't saying much.

It's also the wrong era for rebooting this movie. The original came out before crime began to plummet around America. There really was a sense that we'd descend into some mad max society back then and the vigilante justice thing struck a cord. I haven't bothered with this remake... don't bother with most. (Ocassionaly there's a good one like The Fly). Maybe if they had tried to do something slightly different to fit our current outlook... for example, instead if big city crime, Kersey's family is attacked in their rural home by a bunch of tweakers looking for oxy at his home. Then it's not about this pasee idea of out of control crime in our mad max cities but about the encroachment of violent crime in our rural areas.


I'm surprised someone hasn't remade this:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
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