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(Lifehacker Australia)   Retired journeyman cook Anthony Bourdain offers three non-negotiable tips for making a better burger, plus advice not to add crazy toppings for sake of crazy toppings   ( lifehacker.com.au) divider line
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1120 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 02 Mar 2018 at 10:30 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-03-02 06:26:10 PM  
That's actually pretty good advice.
 
2018-03-02 06:38:45 PM  
1. Not really a fan of potato rolls.
2. Well, duh, everything's better if you use higher quality ingredients.
3. I honestly prefer less melty cheeses.  I like putting the cheese on as I'm making my burger too.  The hot/cold contrast is delicious.
 
2018-03-02 06:47:48 PM  
Geezus he looks like a well-done burger in that video..  Sunscreen much, Tony?

And his video is spot-on, however I do prefer to toast the buns with a little butter on a flat top or in a skillet.
 
2018-03-02 06:50:23 PM  
A burger should be able to be eaten without unhinging your jaw.

If you have to deconstruct it and cut it up...it's not really a burger anymore
 
2018-03-02 06:56:04 PM  
I wanna know how to be a better burglar, Bourdain.

markie_farkie: Geezus he looks like a well-done burger in that video..  Sunscreen much, Tony?


His GF is Italian... I think it's sexually transmitted (says the 1/4 Italian guy).
 
2018-03-02 06:58:03 PM  
Grilled meat patty on a bun is the only requirement for a burger to a burger. Anything extra is to diner's indulgence.
 
2018-03-02 07:01:54 PM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: I wanna know how to be a better burglar, Bourdain.


Don't leave evidence, don't get caught.
 
2018-03-02 07:32:01 PM  
Great beef.  Great blue cheese.  Great bacon.  Great buns.

Can't miss.
 
2018-03-02 07:32:29 PM  
ilovefoodandbeer.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2018-03-02 07:41:35 PM  

RedPhoenix122: 1. Not really a fan of potato rolls.


Potato rolls are for perverts.
 
2018-03-02 08:00:39 PM  

RedPhoenix122: 1. Not really a fan of potato rolls.
2. Well, duh, everything's better if you use higher quality ingredients.
3. I honestly prefer less melty cheeses.  I like putting the cheese on as I'm making my burger too.  The hot/cold contrast is delicious.


1. I prefer an onion roll.  Buttered and grilled.
2. Agreed, good meat is important.  There's a local shop that makes a brisket and steak ground beef that is pretty amazing.
3. Agreed, I don't like processed (gooey) cheeses.  A quality thick - or multiple slices - cheddar or swiss will make people think you're a great chef.
 
2018-03-02 08:24:15 PM  
No mustard?
 
2018-03-02 08:26:06 PM  
Salisbury steak topped with a velveeta slice, on a cheap white burger roll.
It ain't gourmet, but it's still damn tasty at 4am.
 
2018-03-02 08:28:09 PM  
Definitely agree about places that make those stupid oversized burgers. If it's taller than it is wide GTFO. I don't want to have to fight with my meal.
 
2018-03-02 08:47:05 PM  
Bun of your choice (Onion roll previously suggested is a great option)
Burger patty (1/4-1/3 lb)
Cheese of your choice (I prefer Colby)
Onion
Pickle


No "added goop" (if you need ketchup or mayo because your burger is dry don't blame the burger. Blame yourself for drying it out)
 
2018-03-02 09:12:36 PM  

fusillade762: No mustard?


Dijon only.
 
2018-03-02 09:37:08 PM  

foo monkey: fusillade762: No mustard?

Dijon only.


You probably wear a tan suit while eating eating that you horrible monster.
 
2018-03-02 09:50:30 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Looks messy
 
2018-03-02 10:21:24 PM  

TheManofPA: foo monkey: fusillade762: No mustard?

Dijon only.

You probably wear a tan suit while eating eating that you horrible monster.


And puts arugula on it.
 
2018-03-02 10:28:10 PM  

fusillade762: TheManofPA: foo monkey: fusillade762: No mustard?

Dijon only.

You probably wear a tan suit while eating eating that you horrible monster.

And puts arugula on it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-02 10:34:47 PM  

foo monkey: fusillade762: TheManofPA: foo monkey: fusillade762: No mustard?

Dijon only.

You probably wear a tan suit while eating eating that you horrible monster.

And puts arugula on it.

[img.fark.net image 401x200]


My mommy warned me the internet was filled with bullies, trolls, and evil people but you sir, you sir go too far. Too far indeed. I'm going to have to bathe myself in ketchup to cleanse.
 
2018-03-02 10:44:51 PM  
ground sirloin
melt some butter, add a splash of Worcestershire Sauce, lots of pepper
add this to the meat
form patty to as big as your palms
350 degree cooking surface
salt one side of the patty
cook 4 minutes per side.

crusty on outside, pink inside

toasted bun, couple rings of red onion, only enough lettuce to cover the bun, beefsteak tomato slice, Velveeta or blue cheese
 
2018-03-02 10:55:48 PM  
Really, his three tips for making a good burger are good bun, good meat, and cheese that melts. No shiat.

Actually, salt and pepper are more important than two of those ingredients.
 
2018-03-02 11:17:41 PM  

FDR Jones: Really, his three tips for making a good burger are good bun, good meat, and cheese that melts. No shiat.

Actually, salt and pepper are more important than two of those ingredients.


I imagine he, like most people that make recipes or cooking suggestions, doesn't expect his audience to be FARKEN MORONS.
I mean he didn't say  'well, you should cook it' either did he?
 
2018-03-02 11:42:44 PM  
What? No Peanut Butter!
 
2018-03-02 11:54:51 PM  
I can't even count the times I've taken a bite of a hamburger then taken my napkin and wiped all the crap off so I could tasted the hamburger and not the stuff they piled on it.  I can request light on the condiments all day and they will take a chalk gun and squirt that crap on it.  If the stuff you put on a hamburger over power the taste then you are failing.  Same with taco's and cilantro.
 
2018-03-03 01:13:21 AM  
Horseradish sauce, or a good brown mustard, but not both.  Thin, crisp, onion below the patty. Smoked paprika in the patty before grilling.   Two strips bacon, beech wood smoked.  One sunny side up egg, yolk still runny.
 
2018-03-03 01:21:01 AM  
As someone who has a jaw that dislocates easily I get this.  I really wanted him to show an example of the perfect burger.  Ketchup? gtfo.  Mustard and mayo please.
 
2018-03-03 01:26:21 AM  
we like to mince pickled hot peppers and shallots and then use a little bit of bread crumbs to help hold it together.

really though, the biggest difference in burgers is if you can grind your own meat. a decent piece of chuck, ground and immediately turned into patties and cooked will beat out store bought or frozen meat regardless of what you do to it.
 
2018-03-03 01:35:55 AM  
Half ground sirloin, half ground lamb for the fat. Grilled medium with rosemary herbed goat cheese and a tomato on an onion bun.

Alternatively: full patty of ground round done medium with cheddar, sunnyside up egg , and garlic aioli on bun of your choice.
 
2018-03-03 01:43:04 AM  

tlchwi02: we like to mince pickled hot peppers and shallots and then use a little bit of bread crumbs to help hold it together.

really though, the biggest difference in burgers is if you can grind your own meat. a decent piece of chuck, ground and immediately turned into patties and cooked will beat out store bought or frozen meat regardless of what you do to it.


When you start needing binders like breadcrumbs or egg to hold a patty together you are getting dangerously close to meatloaf on a bun territory.
 
2018-03-03 01:50:35 AM  
1 Toasted/grilled Sesame seed or onion roll
2 smoked gouda
3 roasted red peppers
4 schmear of Dijon or horseradish mustard

And of course, high quality beef, salt & pepper seasoned. Maybe bacon ground into the patty
 
2018-03-03 04:42:29 AM  
Stop with the mondo patty sh*t.

13mm (half inch) is enough meat.

/I order a burger at any place that offers one. Mexican restaurants have better cheese.
 
2018-03-03 07:15:20 AM  
This works for me.
1 egg per 1/3 pound off beef(adds springiness and hold the burger together during cooking)
chipotle flakes
on a plate, smashed to a height of no more than 1/2 inch(helps to easily cook the whole burger to medium)
cooked in a butter puddle in the pan or either slashed with butter on the grill
sesame seed bun, I have a favorite brand with the perfect spongy chewineness but I can't remember the brand I just know what the package looks like at my local grocery store
bun buttered and browned in a pan on the stove or grilled
I keep toppings simple b/c it's not a damn salad or a science project, pickles and mustard usually
 
2018-03-03 07:33:50 AM  
I have long said american cheese singles have two purposes: grilled cheese sandwiches and cheeseburgers.

But I'll be honest, I'm hardly interested in a burger without pickles.
 
2018-03-03 07:42:01 AM  
Delete the cheese. Thin slice of vidalia onion (put on patty in the last two minutes on grill) and good mustard.
 
2018-03-03 09:00:28 AM  
I agree with the list. Including the potato bun. But you got to shop to find a good one. Some grocery chains have potato buns that suck. And they need to be fresh. You can taste it in the older ones. But to be fair, this is negotiable. I have enjoyed many other types of rolls. Again freshness is the key.

The ground meat has to have a good amount of fat if you are grilling. If it is too lean it dries out and starts to resemble and taste like a hockey puck.

Other than that the best toppings are thin sliced onion and tomato, when the tomato is picked off the plant in your garden.

But not bacon. Bacon deserves its own meal. It is too good to share with other flavors.
 
2018-03-03 09:33:10 AM  
Ctrl+F provolone.

Heathens.
 
2018-03-03 10:09:11 AM  

RedPhoenix122: 1. Not really a fan of potato rolls.
2. Well, duh, everything's better if you use higher quality ingredients.
3. I honestly prefer less melty cheeses.  I like putting the cheese on as I'm making my burger too.  The hot/cold contrast is delicious.


We acquired some soft pretzel hamburger rolls the other day AND THEY WERE AMAZING! Mrs. Harlee and I prepared them with 93% lean hamburger, fresh tomatoes, sliced American cheese, mushed avocado, and a homemade Thousand Island dressing (mayo, dill relish, ketchup). Tip: cut in half with a bread knife and lightly toast the buns.
 
2018-03-03 10:15:46 AM  

FDR Jones: Really, his three tips for making a good burger are good bun, good meat, and cheese that melts. No shiat.

Actually, salt and pepper are more important than two of those ingredients.


Salt and pepper?  Sorry, I'm not Ethnic.
 
2018-03-03 10:42:59 AM  
I am one of those people who likes a fried egg on my hamburger.
 
2018-03-03 12:55:45 PM  
Really good ground lamb
Really good blue cheese
Very slowly sauteed onions
Focaccia style bun heated, but not toasted.
Maybe some grainy dijon mustard under the meat or a shot of your favourite hot pepper sauce on top of the onions. Not both.

Yea, lamb. Seriously.
 
2018-03-03 01:07:11 PM  
The other day, I had a hamburger with toppings that Anthony Bourdain and several commenters dislike. I will go to the euthanasia chamber as soon as I finish making my bed.
 
2018-03-03 01:45:19 PM  
Non-Negotiable Burger Tip #4:

pics2.ds-static.comView Full Size


/also works on popcorn
 
2018-03-03 04:13:54 PM  

sno man: Really good ground lamb
Really good blue cheese
Very slowly sauteed onions
Focaccia style bun heated, but not toasted.
Maybe some grainy dijon mustard under the meat or a shot of your favourite hot pepper sauce on top of the onions. Not both.

Yea, lamb. Seriously.


Lamburgers are great.
Had a "Ham and Lamb" pizza once; tasted pretty good, but it was greasy as hell, between the lamb and the cheese.  Would do it again, though.
 
2018-03-03 08:15:58 PM  

2wolves: Horseradish sauce, or a good brown mustard, but not both.  Thin, crisp, onion below the patty. Smoked paprika in the patty before grilling.   Two strips bacon, beech wood smoked.  One sunny side up egg, yolk still runny.


The sunny side up egg is heavenly, but it risks making the burger dangerously unmanageable. Make it a smaller egg and make the patty a 1/4 lb. or less (but still med rare) and slice the onion very thin. Less is more, this isn't an all-you-can eat special.
If you must add pickle, put it on the side.
Now, what manner of beer?
 
2018-03-03 08:17:02 PM  

Millennium: Non-Negotiable Burger Tip #4:

[pics2.ds-static.com image 300x300]

/also works on popcorn


You know what is a surprisingly good seasoning for burgers? Coffee grounds.

I'm 100% serious, they add a rich flavor that works well with beef.

/learn that from my old kitchen manager.
 
2018-03-04 09:43:50 AM  

RedPhoenix122: 1. Not really a fan of potato rolls.
2. Well, duh, everything's better if you use higher quality ingredients.
3. I honestly prefer less melty cheeses.  I like putting the cheese on as I'm making my burger too.  The hot/cold contrast is delicious.


I like the contrast in cheese vs. burger too.  A thick slice of cheddar on a just off the grill medium-well burger, still dripping, with a nice, fresh, sesame seed bun.  Doesn't even need any condiments.

I have a friend who really freaks out if the cheese isn't completely melted though.  Claims it's not a cheeseburger, but just a hamburger with cheese on it.
 
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