If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark NotNewsletter: Beware the whole month of March
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2018-02-28 1:44:54 PM (57 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

•       •       •

2473 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2018 at 9:52 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



We're moving into March, which was named for Mars, the Roman god of war. The planet where green aliens live is also named after Mars. March 17th is St. Patrick's Day, when everyone is expected to wear green. A few days later on March 20th is National Alien Abductions Day, an obscure holiday that nobody knows the origins of. Clearly, it was started by Martians. This whole month is obviously one big alien conspiracy. Study it out, people.
 
 
Comment Mentions
 
Dana Loesch - 328
CPAC - 450
Arm teachers - 105
Billy Graham - 190
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
 
Funny:
Pocket Ninja mourned Billy Graham's passing
GRCooper clarified a common expression
hobnail speculated on the effects of Mount Sinabung's eruption
croesius was shocked by a murder with an absinthe bottle
Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste took issue with an article opposing yoga pants
The Goddamn Batman explained why people like a pretty gross beverage
Mike_LowELL had an adventure at the movie theater
zamboni found a photo of yet another person doing the "senior portrait challenge"
baorao reacted to a man with two penes
NeoCortex42 remembered a consequential hit of the 1990s
 
Smart:
swaniefrmreddeer supported freedom of religion
Gubbo put the concern over kids using phones during school shootings into perspective
eurotrader compared a deputy sheriff's salary to a teacher's salary, and added more comments on this comparison
PreMortem discussed the resource deputy at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School not confronting the shooter
Pocket Ninja mourned Billy Graham's passing
hissatsu was unnerved by some of Trump's supporters
PadreScout explained why religion isn't like race, gender, or sexual persuasion
hobnail discussed problems that are caused by "purity culture"
wademh thought about what a high school resource officer was up against
 
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers   
Smart: Barnacles! answered the question, "Who's the oldest person that you would like to see in the nude?"
Funny: casey.lurvs.bacon explained when people show off their homemade sex tapes
Funny: Barry McCockner was had a question about a confusing seduction scenario
Funny: brap had a polite way to relay some awkward information
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Strange friends
Smart:
wademh played kick with the soccer team's outcast
Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village has a friend who is unintentionally funny
 
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
 
Politics Funny:
toraque discovered some shocking information in the Democratic response to the Nunes memo
duppy thought that the CNN Town Hall on the Parkland, Florida shooting looked familiar
boxbot2000 reacted to news that Twitter banned thousands of Russian bot accounts
StopArrestingMe had a plan to replace Twitter
King Something revealed who Mueller is going after in the U.K.
 
Politics Smart:
phrawgh disagreed with an NRA argument against gun control
RJReves explained to Trump why Obama didn't do more about Russian interference
wademh had something to say about Trump mocking John McCain at CPAC
luckyeddie discussed Trump's plans to have a parade this particular Vetarans Day
blastoh listed "the big 5 conservative myths"
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
wickedfish showed us a flock of superdogs
Circusdog320 helped a superhero dog watch over the city
ionthrust made an advertisement for a cool new movie
Iggie replaced the White House Press Secretary
markie_farkie captured an image of a supersonic pooch
Wrongo demonstrated the best way to core an apple
RedZoneTuba gave a compelling reason to join TotalFark
Me_Too_I_Ate_One_Too made a dream come true
Svatch had either a good deal or a threat
Yammering_Splat_Vector let us know what we should do for Farkistan
Alligator reminded us what to do every payday
 
Farktography:
pershing won Farktography Contest No. 668: "It's a Technicality 2" with this here doohickey
 
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
 
Upcoming Fark Parties
 
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 
 
Sunday, March 25th: Forsythe P Jones (Richard Sousa) Celebration of Life
 
 
Fark Headlines of the Week (brought to you by Blythe)
 
Here are your Fark Headlines of the Week for February 11-17!

Thanks to all our submitters!!  We love all our submissions, and Headlines of the Week lets us showcase our absolute favorites.

Thanks especially to the Sports and Business tab submitters this week again - these tabs have usually been hard to make funny, and submitters have been knocking it out of the park on a consistent basis recently.

Any headline is in consideration for Headline of the Week, but to vote you need to be a member of TotalFark. Thanks to all our TotalFark voters!

Headlines of the Week for February 18-24 is processing and will be posted Thursday or Friday; in the meantime, enjoy these February 11-17 Headlines of the Week!
________________________ 
 
Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. You can join TotalFark here.
· · ·

57 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-02-28 01:48:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 01:48:28 PM  
Well my kid does turn 18 this month
 
2018-02-28 01:49:22 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 01:49:49 PM  
s2.quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 01:51:49 PM  
The planet where green aliens live

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

Well, he wears green.
 
2018-02-28 01:52:26 PM  

Fingerware Error: The planet where green aliens live

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 195x259]
Well, he wears green.


Must be St. Patrick's Day.
 
2018-02-28 02:16:21 PM  

loonatic112358: Well my kid does turn 18 this month


Shelter in place.
Lock the fridge.
Hide the car keys.
 
2018-02-28 02:17:34 PM  
Wow, just wow!

One of my headlines was judged funny.

/Like a broken clock being right once per day.
 
2018-02-28 02:17:56 PM  
I made the newsletter!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:21:35 PM  

Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]


Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.
 
2018-02-28 02:24:16 PM  

guestguy: Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]

Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.


More likely M(oobs)IE
 
2018-02-28 02:27:40 PM  

Barry McCockner: guestguy: Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]

Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.

More likely M(oobs)IE


When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.
 
2018-02-28 02:28:21 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:32:27 PM  
imagizer.imageshack.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:33:07 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Barry McCockner: guestguy: Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]

Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.

More likely M(oobs)IE

When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.


Well, be grateful no more...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:34:11 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:34:50 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.


You've got mail.

/seriously, and not at all related to this, but it was the closest comment I could grab
 
2018-02-28 02:42:29 PM  

mama2tnt: DisseminationMonkey: When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.

You've got mail.

/seriously, and not at all related to this, but it was the closest comment I could grab


BOOBALACHE!!!
 
2018-02-28 02:53:31 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 02:55:34 PM  

bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]


img.fark.netView Full Size

Bingo?
 
2018-02-28 02:58:06 PM  

bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]


Holy crap, I think I've done all except sponsoring someone.

This means something. Perhaps I need my head examined.
 
2018-02-28 02:59:50 PM  

cyberspacedout: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Holy crap, I think I've done all except sponsoring someone.

This means something. Perhaps I need my head examined.


Nooope.

Hey, who needs some sponsoring?  cyberspacedout is buying!
 
2018-02-28 03:10:01 PM  

SansNeural: cyberspacedout: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Holy crap, I think I've done all except sponsoring someone.

This means something. Perhaps I need my head examined.

Nooope.

Hey, who needs some sponsoring?  cyberspacedout is buying!


What, and ruin my reputation as a cheapskate? I'd be hesitant to even sponsor someone at an AA meeting.
 
2018-02-28 03:15:40 PM  
"Arm teachers"
I missed their arm classes.
 
2018-02-28 03:17:05 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Fingerware Error: The planet where green aliens live

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 195x259]
Well, he wears green.

Must be St. Patrick's Day.


And spring training is happening...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 03:50:21 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 400x275]


If I weren't outside taking a cigarette break, my desk would now be covered in diet Coke.
 
2018-02-28 04:08:47 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 05:13:30 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Barry McCockner: guestguy: Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]

Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.

More likely M(oobs)IE

When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.


You want we should make up to you for that?  'Cause we totally can.

I'll start...
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 05:15:58 PM  

bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]


Never met Drew, otherwise would've had a bingo.
:-{(
 
2018-02-28 05:17:52 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: mama2tnt: DisseminationMonkey: When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.

You've got mail.

/seriously, and not at all related to this, but it was the closest comment I could grab

BOOBALACHE!!!


I've heard of mustaches referred to by many phrases, but never THAT one.
 
2018-02-28 05:20:44 PM  

cyberspacedout: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Holy crap, I think I've done all except sponsoring someone.

This means something. Perhaps I need my head examined.


You're correct, you DO need your head examined.

The yellow pages has an extensive list of urologists practicing in your area.
 
2018-02-28 05:28:25 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Never met Drew, otherwise would've had a bingo.
:-{(


I've not only met him, I've actually taken a beer away from him.  Lived to talk about because the DTs set in before he could kick me in the nuts.
 
2018-02-28 05:36:27 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: DisseminationMonkey: Barry McCockner: guestguy: Barry McCockner: I made the newsletter!

[img.fark.net image 245x245]

Purge your inbox in preparation for the massive influx of BIE.

More likely M(oobs)IE

When I started writing the Fark NotNewsletter, I thought I'd end up with an avalanche of WIE and BIE, but that hasn't happened. And I'm grateful.

You want we should make up to you for that?  'Cause we totally can.

I'll start...
[img.fark.net image 425x264]


Giggity.
 
2018-02-28 05:37:34 PM  

bighairyguy: Diocletian's Last Cabbage: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Never met Drew, otherwise would've had a bingo.
:-{(

I've not only met him, I've actually taken a beer away from him.  Lived to talk about because the DTs set in before he could kick me in the nuts.


That's not anything I need to worry about.  My ex-wife ripped mine off a long time ago.
 
2018-02-28 05:39:14 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 05:48:13 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 06:04:16 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-28 06:12:42 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 400x225]


NO SELF-PORTRAITS IN THE NOTNEWSLETTER, DUDE!!!

/some people just won't follow the rules no matter what, eh?
 
2018-02-28 06:23:38 PM  

mama2tnt: Non Sequitur Man: [img.fark.net image 400x225]

NO SELF-PORTRAITS IN THE NOTNEWSLETTER, DUDE!!!

/some people just won't follow the rules no matter what, eh?


They had no problem when I posted my Welcome to Fark video and I was singing in my brightly lit garage. So I figured I'd give it a shot, doggone it.
 
2018-02-28 07:43:02 PM  
I finally said something smart.
 
2018-02-28 08:41:48 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: I finally said something smart.


I finally said something funny.

Intentionally, no less.
 
2018-02-28 09:53:54 PM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: bighairyguy: [img.fark.net image 508x476]

Never met Drew, otherwise would've had a bingo.
:-{(


Be thankful.  That could have been a Multiple Drug Resistant Bingo.
 
2018-03-01 04:12:46 AM  
Only 9 to go! w00t!

img.fark.netView Full Size


Also, T-shirt!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-01 05:19:31 AM  

Non Sequitur Man: Only 9 to go! w00t!


You've never gotten banned? *sniffs* Noob. Happens to me every week.

/just kidding, DisseminationMonkey! please don't b
 
2018-03-01 10:09:54 AM  
Hat trick
 
2018-03-01 02:09:48 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-01 02:19:28 PM  

real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 300x224]


Good god, which level of hell is that?
 
2018-03-01 02:27:13 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 300x224]

Good god, which level of hell is that?


Hell?  We haven't even gotten on the road to Hell.  We're still stuck in the suburbs.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-03-01 02:39:14 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 300x224]

Good god, which level of hell is that?


TotalFark?
 
2018-03-01 02:44:16 PM  

mama2tnt: DisseminationMonkey: real_headhoncho: [img.fark.net image 300x224]

Good god, which level of hell is that?

TotalFark?


No.. it is just regular fark when you are suffering a depression cycle and everyone is being a whiny little biatch about what you are posting.  Otherwise known as Tuesday.
img.fark.netView Full Size

/if you haven't watched One Punch Man, go watch it.  It is hilarious.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report