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(Some Guy)   What are your deepest secret fears? I mean BESIDES a spy in the house of love who knows the dreams that I'm dreaming of? Oh, and ending a sentence with a preposition   ( morepotatoes.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Nazi Viking Ninjas, horse bit me..., English-language films, fear, Japanese attacking Pearl, health class teaching, nuclear implosion, bare my soul  
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265 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 25 Feb 2018 at 8:39 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-25 05:02:03 AM  
My biggest fear is that the economy will collapse and the only available job will be extracting semen from race horses and that it will give me carpel tunnel syndrome...
 
2018-02-25 07:05:02 AM  

bigfatbuddhist: My biggest fear is that the economy will collapse and the only available job will be extracting semen from race horses and that it will give me carpel tunnel syndrome...


*sigh*

*zip*
 
2018-02-25 08:07:59 AM  
I said, "I wanna be a singer like Lou Reed."
"I like Lou Reed, " she said, sticking her tongue in my ear.
"Let's go, let's sit, let's talk, politics goes so good with beer.
And while we're at it, baby,
Why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?"
I said, "Losing my penis to a whore with disease."
Just kidding.
I said, "Losing my life to a whore with disease."
She said, "Excuse me, please?"
I said, "Losing my life to a horrible disease."
She said, "Please."
Well, I'm a humble guy with healthy desires
Don't give me no sh*t because I've been tired.
 
2018-02-25 08:13:27 AM  
My greatest fear is that the afterlife will be anything like my dreams. I dreamt last night that I was an imposter astrophysicist at Cal Tech where Cal Tech was my old high school but it wasn't and the air in the lab wasn't air but water and all the real astrophysicists were depending on me to keep the large jellyfish in the room alive which was impossible because the lab is on the Moon and here come the aliens so pass out the plasma rifles. Jeeeezuuus.
 
2018-02-25 08:15:24 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: I said, "I wanna be a singer like Lou Reed."
"I like Lou Reed, " she said, sticking her tongue in my ear.
"Let's go, let's sit, let's talk, politics goes so good with beer.
And while we're at it, baby,
Why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?"
I said, "Losing my penis to a whore with disease."
Just kidding.
I said, "Losing my life to a whore with disease."
She said, "Excuse me, please?"
I said, "Losing my life to a horrible disease."
She said, "Please."
Well, I'm a humble guy with healthy desires
Don't give me no sh*t because I've been tired.


Lighten up, (Black) Francis...
 
2018-02-25 08:17:59 AM  
My biggest fears are irrational, and I hate irrational things, so I try to make them miserable.  I'm scared of sharks so I swim with them.  I'm scared of heights so I climb volcanoes.  I'm scared of constrained spaces so I explore caves.  Suffer, stupid fears.  Suffer and die.
 
2018-02-25 08:20:05 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: I said, "I wanna be a singer like Lou Reed."
"I like Lou Reed, " she said, sticking her tongue in my ear.
"Let's go, let's sit, let's talk, politics goes so good with beer.
And while we're at it, baby,
Why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?"
I said, "Losing my penis to a whore with disease."
Just kidding.
I said, "Losing my life to a whore with disease."
She said, "Excuse me, please?"
I said, "Losing my life to a horrible disease."
She said, "Please."
Well, I'm a humble guy with healthy desires
Don't give me no sh*t because I've been tired.


And the African-American girls go,
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
 
2018-02-25 08:23:06 AM  

August11: My greatest fear is that the afterlife will be anything like my dreams. I dreamt last night that I was an imposter astrophysicist at Cal Tech where Cal Tech was my old high school but it wasn't and the air in the lab wasn't air but water and all the real astrophysicists were depending on me to keep the large jellyfish in the room alive which was impossible because the lab is on the Moon and here come the aliens so pass out the plasma rifles. Jeeeezuuus.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-25 08:58:11 AM  
My biggest fear is that you'll find out my second biggest fear.
 
2018-02-25 09:09:02 AM  
When it's real cold out like below zero stuff and I run out quick with just my pants t-shirt and shoes on to put garbage in the bin I get the strange fear that what if I were to be suddenly transported to the middle of nowhere far away from anyone or anything. That would really suck and I'd probably freeze to death.

/hasn't happened yet
 
2018-02-25 09:21:07 AM  
Why do only the African girls have to go doo doo?
 
2018-02-25 09:35:52 AM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: Why do only the African girls have to go doo doo?


shiathole countries, m'man.
 
2018-02-25 09:36:18 AM  
I'm petrified that many adults aren't just ignorant, which is lamentable but correctable,but actually stupid, which is not.
 
2018-02-25 09:42:01 AM  
Was (Not Was) - Spy In The House Of Love
Youtube k8PjjxJ7v78
 
2018-02-25 09:55:40 AM  
Death
 
2018-02-25 10:12:56 AM  
I fear that when the clown comes to take me in my sleep he won't because i'm not pretty enough.
 
2018-02-25 10:45:55 AM  
That the people I spent most of my life serving are going to just hand their country over to Russia.
 
2018-02-25 10:45:58 AM  
I fear that I might die in a nuclear implosion

implosion but not explosion.
 
2018-02-25 10:49:18 AM  
My biggest fear isn't a secret. Heights. I'm fu^king terrified of heights. I fell off a 50 foot scaffold ~25 years ago. Amazingly I was uninjured (I hit every cross-member on the way down - think Homes Simpson falling into Springfield gorge) but ever since then I've been a little gun-shy around high places that don't have solid railings. If there's a rail or other barrier higher than my center of gravity I'm good, but if there's even a remote chance that my corpulent ass could catch air, I'm frozen.

/I would not do well in the Star Wars universe
 
2018-02-25 10:52:56 AM  
Remote viewers reading every horrible thought I have and misunderstanding my rigged brain.

It's a secret fear because it's stupid.
 
2018-02-25 10:54:15 AM  

Tyrosine: My biggest fear isn't a secret. Heights. I'm fu^king terrified of heights. I fell off a 50 foot scaffold ~25 years ago. Amazingly I was uninjured (I hit every cross-member on the way down - think Homes Simpson falling into Springfield gorge) but ever since then I've been a little gun-shy around high places that don't have solid railings. If there's a rail or other barrier higher than my center of gravity I'm good, but if there's even a remote chance that my corpulent ass could catch air, I'm frozen.

/I would not do well in the Star Wars universe


I wouldn't call that fear of heights, it is more a healthy respect.
 
2018-02-25 11:01:39 AM  

American-Irish eyes: Tyrosine: My biggest fear isn't a secret. Heights. I'm fu^king terrified of heights. I fell off a 50 foot scaffold ~25 years ago. Amazingly I was uninjured (I hit every cross-member on the way down - think Homes Simpson falling into Springfield gorge) but ever since then I've been a little gun-shy around high places that don't have solid railings. If there's a rail or other barrier higher than my center of gravity I'm good, but if there's even a remote chance that my corpulent ass could catch air, I'm frozen.

/I would not do well in the Star Wars universe

I wouldn't call that fear of heights, it is more a healthy respect.


No, it's sheer terror. My job requires me to go on building roofs occasionally and that always requires me dipping into my secret stash of diazepam.

/Same trick gets me into amusement parks.
 
2018-02-25 11:03:46 AM  
That Kate Beckinsale will find out I've been living in her attic for two years.
 
2018-02-25 11:47:01 AM  
My biggest fear is that when I die, the soundtrack in the afterlife is only songs by Kenny G.
 
2018-02-25 12:44:32 PM  
That tens of millions will perish in nuclear hellfire because an orange shiathole with small hands is desperate to deflect attention after a pee tape is released.
 
2018-02-25 02:30:27 PM  

August11: My greatest fear is that the afterlife will be anything like my dreams. I dreamt last night that I was an imposter astrophysicist at Cal Tech where Cal Tech was my old high school but it wasn't and the air in the lab wasn't air but water and all the real astrophysicists were depending on me to keep the large jellyfish in the room alive which was impossible because the lab is on the Moon and here come the aliens so pass out the plasma rifles. Jeeeezuuus.


Mine is hendecaphobia, jerk.
 
2018-02-25 02:57:03 PM  
That I won't die alone.  That it will be in some mundane activity in public that will cause a brief commotion where I am the center of attention (I don't like that) that will result in a very expensive and futile hospital run that will produce a large invoice for no result.  To top it off, I'll probably be delirious and make advances toward a paramedic, ending a (life) sentence with a proposition.
 
2018-02-25 03:58:13 PM  
Ferris wheels.
 
2018-02-25 05:25:35 PM  
Biggest, deepest, secret fear? Pfft, I have anxiety. Given everyday is hell on earth, I'm hardly going to ferret around in my inner psyche looking for bigger fears.
 
2018-02-25 07:09:45 PM  
Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with I shall not put.
 
2018-02-25 07:11:54 PM  
That they'll find the bodies.

/I mean spiders. My biggest fear is spiders. Because, that's normal. And I'm normSTOP LOOKING AT ME
 
2018-02-25 11:09:55 PM  
My biggest fears all came true so I guess I don't have any left.
/no, what didn't kill me did not make me stronger
//yes it did kill me
///just twitching now
 
2018-02-25 11:16:19 PM  

Rann Xerox: My biggest fear is that when I die, the soundtrack in the afterlife is only songs by Kenny G.


I've been there. It is.
 
2018-02-26 01:02:26 PM  
Mine is that one where they replace someone with someone you know with someone else who looks exactly like one of them, but they aren't. Then you realize you've been chatting with whoever it was and they want information for some sinister plot.
 
2018-02-26 08:21:30 PM  
Nice Doors reference, sub.
 
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