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(Mother Nature Network)   Don't get too close to me or you might catch my stress   ( mnn.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Brain, stress, Human brain, post-traumatic stress disorder, Male, Neuron, Female, Psychological trauma  
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1536 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Feb 2018 at 2:03 PM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-02-17 11:09:44 AM  
I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.
 
2018-02-17 12:25:50 PM  
IS THE NOISE IN MY HEAD BOTHERING YOU?
 
2018-02-17 02:15:00 PM  
So does this mean that contact highs are also real?

and that an actual and effective way to combat contact stress is to get stoned because it will mellow out the stress source?
 
2018-02-17 02:15:56 PM  

beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.


Man, I'm very sorry to hear that. My ex-wife was very similar.  We tried for years to adjust her medication. (Bi-polar). Some made her gain drastic amounts of weight, which only amplified her anxiety and feelings of self worth, some made her so lethargic she was a lump on the couch when she wasn't working, others kept her up at night and again added to her anxiety. I dealt with it for 8 years, until I just couldn't anymore. Now, I'm married to a woman almost as chill as me, and my life is Soooooo much better. The ex and I get along better as friends than we ever did as a couple, and I think  it's greatly in part that we don't have to see each other but once or twice a year (no kids), family stuff. I honestly hope it works out for you my friend.
 
2018-02-17 02:33:09 PM  
I w
 
2018-02-17 02:34:24 PM  
I wonder if that is because we subconsciously think someone must be going on if people near us are being twitchy.

/Premature posting happens to everyone
//Consult your doctor if it negatively impacts your life
 
2018-02-17 02:50:39 PM  
I have PTSD, and the day I got my medical card for cannabis, the entire family started to unclench.
 
2018-02-17 02:52:52 PM  
Whenever I'm feeling really stressed I rub one out, I think the article is right though because man is everyone else on the bus on edge afterwards.
 
2018-02-17 02:53:10 PM  
This is why you gotta keep your vibes strong.
 
2018-02-17 03:01:43 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Whenever I'm feeling really stressed I rub one out, I think the article is right though because man is everyone else on the bus on edge afterwards.


OHHHHH shiat, that made my day.

I thought I was the only one.
 
2018-02-17 03:41:18 PM  
So Multiple Miggs was just trying to get people to catch his stress?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-17 04:17:20 PM  
Or, you could just stop reading the Politics tab.
 
2018-02-17 04:51:02 PM  
Herd animals gonna herd, yo.
 
2018-02-17 05:49:52 PM  
Watch how quickly panic can spread through a crowd from the point of the incident through to folks far removed.  You will never question the contagion affect again.
 
2018-02-17 06:05:54 PM  

beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.


Came here to say... Pretty much exactly this.

'I'm not picking a fight - I'm just talking. Can't I talk?' No, you're going on and on about every negative thing you can ever imagine. That's not 'just talking'

Ugh...
 
2018-02-17 08:55:36 PM  
Like the old man in that book by Nabukov?
 
2018-02-17 09:52:05 PM  
This makes sense. Emotions are contagious. We sense people's vibes is a layman way to put it. The good and the bad as well. Positivity, optimism, peace, but also toxic negativity, cynicism, and stress. That's why we surround ourselves with good people who have good intentions. Negative emotions are poison, but positive emotions are the antidote.
 
2018-02-17 10:37:53 PM  

beezeltown: Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress.


This.
With my ex, everything was the end of the world.  I'm very laid back as well and that was very stressful.
 
2018-02-18 12:27:08 AM  

Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: I have PTSD, and the day I got my medical card for cannabis, the entire family started to unclench.


Just how tightly were they clenching you?
 
2018-02-18 05:41:01 AM  

beezeltown: Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.


Yep.  It's not contagious in the classical sense, but it's contagious in the same sense that alcoholism/drug addiction is considered a disease (which, I'm sure, just saying that will result in my being excoriated).  The anxiety is transmitted to everyone around them, resulting in anxiety for everyone (cue the Oprah meme).

My wife and older daughter (especially my older daughter) deal with the same kind of anxiety as your wife.  My daughter has almost-daily panic attacks for which she has to be medicated.  It's a rare month where I don't receive a call from her during her school day saying that she's suddenly ill and needs me to come pick her up at school.  The illness is a panic attack which cripples her to the point of crying jags and extreme nausea.
 
2018-02-18 07:19:54 AM  

beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.


Sounds miserable. Why stay?
 
2018-02-18 10:18:54 AM  

Unikitty: beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.

Sounds miserable. Why stay?


Because he loves her and knows she's a good person dealing with her own demons?
/that's my reason in a very similar situation.
 
2018-02-18 11:48:38 AM  

beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.


Have you done couples' therapy? I'm the one in my marriage with the anxiety and my poor spouse is in your position.

We've been together for 20 years but my anxiety began to worsen several years ago. In addition to my own treatment, we did very productive couples' therapy for about two years to learn better how to communicate and how we can help each other instead of fighting. It was the best decision we ever made. We interact very differently now when there's an "anxiety fight," there are fewer of them and we resolve them more quickly.

Your wife has a responsibility to learn to manage her behavior and her reactions to you. Some of it is literally not in her control - but a lot of it is. The key is for you both to work together and help each other.

I genuinely wish you the best.
 
2018-02-18 07:55:04 PM  

four-stringed farris: beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.

Have you done couples' therapy? I'm the one in my marriage with the anxiety and my poor spouse is in your position.

We've been together for 20 years but my anxiety began to worsen several years ago. In addition to my own treatment, we did very productive couples' therapy for about two years to learn better how to communicate and how we can help each other instead of fighting. It was the best decision we ever made. We interact very differently now when there's an "anxiety fight," there are fewer of them and we resolve them more quickly.

Your wife has a responsibility to learn to manage her behavior and her reactions to you. Some of it is literally not in her control - but a lot of it is. The key is for you both to work together and help each other.

I genuinely wish you the best.


Thanks. We were supposed to go to therapy several years ago, but she repeatedly had "reasons" she couldn't make the meeting. I agree that it is her responsibility to manage it and she does, to an extent...sometimes it's better, sometimes not.

Her father and both grandmothers had very similar issues. Her dad is short tempered, and loves to push her buttons. He is a simple man, into religion and overreaction. One grandmother was purely dismissive and had a rage deep within that boiled over occasionally. Other grandmother was nearly paralyzed with anxiety and worry. So, in her mind, anger, worry and rage are completely normal conditions in life.

My parents once raised their voice at one another, and I thought the world would end. I didn't grow up with family members treating each other as enemies.
 
2018-02-18 08:44:12 PM  

beezeltown: four-stringed farris: beezeltown: I'm a laid back individual married to a woman whose generalized anxiety disorder has ebbed and flowed. We'll go through periods of several months when her anxiety increases to near-intolerable levels, and she lashes out constantly.

The effect on me is exasperation. I get really tired of walking in eggshells, so I avoid her. Which makes her more upset and distrustful. Which means every interaction leads to a fight (she will fight for ANY reason, ANY time of day or night). If I am in a room and she walks in, she'll huff, turn around, and walk completely around the house to get to the other side of the room I'm in, because she can't stand to be within three feet of me. And god help me if I try to do the dishes or even look at the vacuum cleaner--her torrent of rage is brutal when she doesn't like the way I do something.

Is her anxiety contagious? No. But it does affect others negatively. And causes stress. However, when I leave the house to go to work or wherever, the stress goes away. Chronic anxiety, like my wife's, doesn't go away. She worries constantly, no matter what is going on. Medication polishes off the most jagged edges, but hasn't affected the real disorder.

Have you done couples' therapy? I'm the one in my marriage with the anxiety and my poor spouse is in your position.

We've been together for 20 years but my anxiety began to worsen several years ago. In addition to my own treatment, we did very productive couples' therapy for about two years to learn better how to communicate and how we can help each other instead of fighting. It was the best decision we ever made. We interact very differently now when there's an "anxiety fight," there are fewer of them and we resolve them more quickly.

Your wife has a responsibility to learn to manage her behavior and her reactions to you. Some of it is literally not in her control - but a lot of it is. The key is for you both to work together and help each other.

I genuinely wish you the best.

Thanks. We were supposed to go to therapy several years ago, but she repeatedly had "reasons" she couldn't make the meeting. I agree that it is her responsibility to manage it and she does, to an extent...sometimes it's better, sometimes not.

Her father and both grandmothers had very similar issues. Her dad is short tempered, and loves to push her buttons. He is a simple man, into religion and overreaction. One grandmother was purely dismissive and had a rage deep within that boiled over occasionally. Other grandmother was nearly paralyzed with anxiety and worry. So, in her mind, anger, worry and rage are completely normal conditions in life.

My parents once raised their voice at one another, and I thought the world would end. I didn't grow up with family members treating each other as enemies.


Yes, same. The first time I witnessed a  very animated disagreement in my spouse's family, I mentally curled up waiting for them all to scream at each other and walk out slamming doors and not speak for the rest of the day - like my family was growing up. Nope! They all went back to their day and had dinner together. I was gobsmacked, it was mind-blowing. I now spend as many holidays as possible with them, because they actually like being around each other.

Try to encourage your wife to try again for therapy. Both for you, because she loves you, and for herself, because you love her. And obviously, for the both of you.
 
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