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Fark NotNewsletter: Everyone's just showing off
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2018-02-13 3:16:23 PM (57 comments) | Permalink
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2216 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2018 at 1:15 PM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



I don't know what's going on with everyone showing off lately. First, President Trump decides he wants to show off with a big military parade. Then SpaceX totally showed off by launching their fancy-ass rocket, with some dummy taking that as an opportunity to fark right off into space and the rocket boosters returning and sitting their asses down like, "We're back, biatches!" Meanwhile, athletes from around the world are totally showing off in Korea. I mean, there are snowboarders showing off by flipping around and shiat with their feet glued to planks like plastic army men. Then ice skaters are doing a bunch of tricks on a slab of ice with, like, knifeshoes strapped to their feet. And the curlers are showing off with, I don't know, how good they are at cleaning the floor? 
 
A message from Drew:
 
Happy Tuesday!  Hope everyone's not too distracted with the Olympics, "Altered Carbon," or whatever your favorite evening pastime might be.  A quick note: Last year, we had a bunch of TotalFark subscribers pick up one-year subscriptions to help with the Google ad revenue shortfall.  That pretty much helped us survive the year.  As of this year, a bunch of those year-long TotalFark subscriptions have lapsed.  If this was you, or you've considered signing up, now would be a fantastic time to get TotalFark or BareFark, and sign up a friend!
 
 
Comment Mentions
 
Parade - 1303
Falcon Heavy - 171
Tesla - 354
PyeongChang - 33
Olympic - 1001
 
 
Comment Votes
 
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
 
Funny:
Mike_LowELL found out what's causing drops in the stock market
anjin-san recognized Obama's time machine at work
markie_farkie thought a stock trader's expression looked familiar
Nadie_AZ was dismayed when someone took a Tesla 3 apart
optikeye reacted to a photo of the Tesla that was shot into space
bearded clamorer donates hair to a strange charity
guestguy summed up the problem with too much snowfall in Moscow
Pocket Ninja explained why some people can't afford to tip 20% on an expensive bottle of wine
H31N0US gave advice on handling stock market dives
enry knew why you shouldn't get a flu shot
 
Bonus FarkStaff Pick:   
These comments were chosen for how they work together. First, Pocket Ninja ridiculed an article about an $85,000 salary not being enough to live in San Jose. Later, another thread was submitted, in which Dr.Fey had this bit of criticism.
 
Smart:
markie_farkie wasn't encouraged by Trump's track record
JerkStore thought that Tesla 3s were being judged too harshly
dailygrinds had an idea of why an expert found so much wrong with a Tesla 3
Kit Fister had an apt description of the stock market
Pocket Ninja discussed merging onto an interstate
Donald Trump's Vagina thought that there should be another benefit to military service
whidbey changed MAGA to MAGDA
FrabjousDay thought of a few things a young couple did wrong
cptjeff didn't think that a particular investment was more stable than the stock market
Ambivalence explained why it's possible for a forced haircut to qualify as abuse
 
TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers   
Funny:ManateeGag comforted someone who found a gray hair down south
Funny:JerseyTim knew why a Farker's kid threw an unauthorized horse party (this whole thread is pretty good)
Funny:Kegovitch had advice for a very sore Farker
Smart:Ace Rockola advised someone who wants to dig a grave in the back yard
Smart:K_Rock thought the party damage could have been much worse
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Things overheard
Smart:
Dodger learned something by overhearing moms talking
Funny:Brawndo found out something unsettling about mom's driving
 
CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email dugitman.
 
Politics Funny:
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That had a question about Donald Trump's desire to have a parade
Slaxl helped Prince William handle hair loss in a dignified way
RJReves compared a politican to the prostitute he solicited
Paris1127 explained why Nancy Pelosi doesn't need adult diapers
Slaxl showed us all the people protesting U.K.'s health care system
 
Politics Smart:
Ambivalence explained why U.K. National Health Service is having problems
Mad Scientist saw irony in Trump's defense of Rob Porter
cman told us why a U.S. military parade would be inappropriate
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That had a question about Donald Trump's desire to have a parade
edmo examined the consequences of boycotting the Republican Party
 
 
Contest Votes
 
Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down
 
Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba made an argument for a superior video format
retrophil recorded over a special occasion
Alligator put a movie in a movie
wickedfish had a reality TV show star sighting
ElectronChaser made a moon be not a moon
sl4psh0t upgraded a video tape
At first, I thought it was supposed to be Don_cos on this tape
wickedfish replaced some frogmen with some frogmen
Circusdog320 found two ships passing in the night
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a great screensaver
Alligator gave this kid a new gig
 
Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 666: "Mark of the Beast" ended with a tie between beerrun's winged friend and CiliarySpasm's horny red head
 
Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact Elsinore or stop by the Farktography Forum.
 
 
Upcoming Fark Parties
 
See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 
 
Saturday, February 24th: Houston Fark Party
 
 
Fark Headlines of the Week (brought to you by Blythe)
 
We love all our submissions and submitters, and we want to give an extra shout out to a couple tabs this week. The entertainment tab and sports tab are two of the hardest tabs to make funny, and this past week, both were hilarious. Go take a look at the Fark Headlines of the Week if you have a chance.
________________________ 
 
Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. You can join TotalFark here.
· · ·

57 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-02-13 03:19:56 PM  
Boobies

This is exactly now, why I'm voting for Trump in 2020 to continue making America Great.
 
2018-02-13 03:21:22 PM  
Is the showing off part about me promising to post my balls if that thread hit 1000? You'd show off too if your balls were as marvelous.
 
2018-02-13 03:23:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 03:23:38 PM  
Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!
 
2018-02-13 03:27:41 PM  

STDMan69: Is the showing off part about me promising to post my balls if that thread hit 1000? You'd show off too if your balls were as marvelous.

ALERT! ALERT!!! DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON

gifimage.netView Full Size



i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 03:28:24 PM  
But....but but!
 
2018-02-13 03:29:33 PM  

Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!


There must be a rift in the space-time continuum, I got 40 smarts for a word salad a couple of days ago.
 
2018-02-13 03:29:39 PM  
I guess enry won the coin toss.

/harumph
 
2018-02-13 03:30:08 PM  
And I'd just like to say, congratulations Kegovitch.
One of us.
one of us.
one of us.
 
2018-02-13 03:31:58 PM  
Then ice skaters are doing a bunch of tricks on a slab of ice with, like, knifeshoes strapped to their feet.

pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 03:35:48 PM  
PyeongChang - 33

Does that include all the "P.F. Chang's" comments, as well?
 
2018-02-13 03:38:08 PM  
It's true, nobody likes a show-off...but sometimes a little dickbutt waving is justified.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 03:39:13 PM  

Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!


Now you have 13.  But I'll be damned if I'm giving out a Smart without a significant bribe.
 
2018-02-13 03:40:57 PM  

Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!


I don't know if you're joking or not.

bighairyguy: I guess enry won the coin toss.

/harumph


Sorry, it was Fark's coin toss. enry's came up first in the results. I didn't even notice the next one had the same number of votes, to be honest. :(
 
2018-02-13 03:46:19 PM  

STDMan69: Is the showing off part about me promising to post my balls if that thread hit 1000? You'd show off too if your balls were as marvelous.


I have seen these balls, and they are marvelous.
img.fark.netView Full Size

Except that one, it's kind of deflated.
 
2018-02-13 03:46:43 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!

I don't know if you're joking or not.

bighairyguy: I guess enry won the coin toss.

/harumph

Sorry, it was Fark's coin toss. enry's came up first in the results. I didn't even notice the next one had the same number of votes, to be honest. :(


I'll get over it.
 
2018-02-13 04:26:32 PM  
...and the rocket boosters returning and sitting their asses down like, "We're back, biatches!"

I heard one didn't make it.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 04:28:21 PM  
I'd post, but I'd be showing off.
 
2018-02-13 04:35:48 PM  
Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back! Also,

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
Azz [TotalFark]
2018-02-13 04:37:25 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back!


It's visible on mobile
 
2018-02-13 04:38:23 PM  

Azz: thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back!

It's visible on mobile


What, for the poors? Yeesh.
 
2018-02-13 04:39:37 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back! Also,

[i.imgur.com image 550x305]


Go to the top or bottom of the thread and look for "View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest." Only on the full site, though. Not on mobile yet.
 
2018-02-13 04:40:15 PM  

Azz: thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back!

It's visible on mobile


On the desktop site, you just click the vote result links at the bottom of the page, like before the live vote counters were in place
 
2018-02-13 04:41:17 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back! Also,

[i.imgur.com image 550x305]

Go to the top or bottom of the thread and look for "View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest." Only on the full site, though. Not on mobile yet.


38 seconds. Grr.

/shakes fist
 
2018-02-13 04:41:58 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back! Also,

[i.imgur.com image 550x305]

Go to the top or bottom of the thread and look for "View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest." Only on the full site, though. Not on mobile yet.


Twould be nice if the Smart and Funny counts were still visible in the thread as well, though...just sayin'.
 
Azz [TotalFark]
2018-02-13 04:42:57 PM  

cyberspacedout: Azz: thisisyourbrainonFark: Hey, Drew, I'd like to know how many funnies a post got, but you've eliminated that when a thread closes. Please bring back!

It's visible on mobile

On the desktop site, you just click the vote result links at the bottom of the page, like before the live vote counters were in place


I rarely use the full site. So... screw you all 😁🐑🍉🎃
 
2018-02-13 04:43:22 PM  

Azz: It's visible on mobile


I always forget what's on mobile because I don't use it that often. It's easier for me to work on my laptop.
 
2018-02-13 04:45:00 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 04:58:36 PM  
"I don't know what's going on with everyone showing off lately. "

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 05:00:10 PM  
Big thanks to all those spending money by signing up to keep Fark going! Outstanding.
 
2018-02-13 05:21:07 PM  
im4.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 05:33:32 PM  
im4.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 05:36:09 PM  
im4.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 05:41:34 PM  
im4.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 05:55:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 06:05:44 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 06:07:00 PM  

ChipNASA: STDMan69: Is the showing off part about me promising to post my balls if that thread hit 1000? You'd show off too if your balls were as marvelous.

ALERT! ALERT!!! DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON
[gifimage.net image 458x335]


[i.imgur.com image 651x546]


I watched the Baywatch movie a couple weeks ago at a friend's house.  (We sort of do a MSTK3000 thing on movie night.)

Low and behold, there was a chair slat scene.  I wonder what the writer's fark handle is.
 
2018-02-13 06:14:10 PM  

HoratioGates: Low and behold, there was a chair slat scene. I wonder what the writer's fark handle is.


Damn it, now I might have to watch that. :(
 
2018-02-13 08:05:16 PM  
For those about to wed, we salute you...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 11:53:52 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-14 12:02:14 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-14 12:53:05 PM  
Why is this back stuck to the top?

Is there something super important in this one?
 
2018-02-14 12:57:47 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-14 01:01:33 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-14 01:01:33 PM  

Shostie: Why is this back stuck to the top?

Is there something super important in this one?


We're showing off the NotNewsletter.
 
2018-02-14 01:03:59 PM  

Shostie: Why is this back stuck to the top?

Is there something super important in this one?


Usually I post them in the morning and bump them in the evening, but I posted late yesterday, so I bumped it today. Not as early as I meant to, though, because I forgetted.

xanadian: We're showing off the NotNewsletter.


Or maybe this.
 
2018-02-14 01:08:29 PM  

Shostie: Why is this back stuck to the top?

Is there something super important in this one?


Clearly it's because I made the newsletter, and everyone is super stoked on me.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-14 01:18:16 PM  

bazbt3: Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!

There must be a rift in the space-time continuum, I got 40 smarts for a word salad a couple of days ago.


Meh, I have 71 funnies in a thread from yesterday.
 
2018-02-14 01:24:24 PM  

guestguy: Shostie: Why is this back stuck to the top?

Is there something super important in this one?

Clearly it's because I made the newsletter, and everyone is super stoked on me.

[img.fark.net image 480x360]


The system is rigged. They wouldn't even give me all the internet points on my birthday.

F*ckers.
 
2018-02-14 01:27:18 PM  

Unikitty: bazbt3: Al_Ed: Man, I had 12 funny votes a few days ago.

This is BULLsh*t!

There must be a rift in the space-time continuum, I got 40 smarts for a word salad a couple of days ago.

Meh, I have 71 funnies in a thread from yesterday.


Yeah, but they're laughing at you
 
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