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(Mirror.co.uk)   This just in: Time traveler from 2030 risks his life to come back and let us know what the future has in store. Bonus: He passed a lie detector test   ( mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, lie detector test, Time travel, Future, Time, Donald Trump, Science fiction, Lie, Lie detection  
•       •       •

13188 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2018 at 11:35 AM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

OOF
2018-02-13 11:37:28 AM  
73 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:39:32 PM  
45 votes:
This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.
2018-02-13 11:40:59 AM  
38 votes:
Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:34:42 AM  
37 votes:

Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?


600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.
2018-02-13 11:42:14 AM  
24 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Oh boy
2018-02-13 11:46:42 AM  
23 votes:
The international time traveler meeting has been postponed to yesterday
2018-02-13 12:14:44 PM  
21 votes:
thethingswesay.comView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:30:01 AM  
20 votes:
The self-declared 'time-traveller' - who goes by the name of "Noah"

Oh.  I've seen this Netflix series.
2018-02-13 11:43:54 AM  
17 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:18:36 AM  
16 votes:
Thanks Obama.
2018-02-13 11:18:40 AM  
13 votes:
So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.
2018-02-13 11:59:17 AM  
12 votes:
images2.onionstatic.comView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:41:04 AM  
11 votes:
Second day in a row I get to use this:

Dietrich Voice Analyzer
Youtube iFWK-r9B6QA
2018-02-13 11:58:03 AM  
10 votes:

Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.


He already prevented the Bowling Green Massacre, one man can only do so much
2018-02-13 11:51:50 AM  
9 votes:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


Nah, betting on sports is where the money is.

static.tvtropes.orgView Full Size
OOF
2018-02-13 11:47:54 AM  
9 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:20:10 PM  
8 votes:

Myrdinn: probability foam


That has been debunked, it is not in fact an effective contraceptive.
2018-02-13 11:52:11 AM  
8 votes:

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:42:14 AM  
8 votes:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


fm.cnbc.comView Full Size

Just told his broker to buy lots of zinc.
2018-02-13 11:41:11 AM  
8 votes:
All you skeptics didn't see how the word 'true' popped up on the YouTube video. Incontrovertible.
2018-02-13 11:36:32 AM  
8 votes:
It's not John Titor?
2018-02-13 01:47:49 PM  
7 votes:

OOF: [img.fark.net image 390x116]


You forgot the other two....
i1.kym-cdn.comView Full Size


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2018-02-13 01:20:19 PM  
6 votes:
"Humans fly to Mars in 2028 - the same year time travel is made public"

If made public and the technology is released, an average walmart shopper buying the device is pictured below.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:25:02 AM  
6 votes:
I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?
2018-02-13 11:45:51 AM  
5 votes:
Old news is so exciting:
Zlad! - Elektronik Supersonik HD BEST QUALITY Remastered Sound
Youtube MNyG-xu-7SQ
2018-02-13 12:36:44 PM  
4 votes:
ask him what a big mac is called at mcdonalds, we all know everything is taco bell in the future.
2018-02-13 12:26:22 PM  
4 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:07:45 PM  
4 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:06:04 PM  
4 votes:

ceejayoz: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

So much this. Their primary purpose is to be misunderstood by subjects who think they work and wind up confessing since they think they'll be found out.


Wait, they don't actually work? I had to take one for my first job when I was 15 which was sacking groceries. Being in such a crucial job with access to TS-SCI information like the code to the trash compactor made it necessary, I suppose. I controlled my breathing and thoughts while I lied many times on it and passed. I thought I was just really slick, and might have a future in espionage. You're telling me that was all bullshiat?
2018-02-13 11:47:52 AM  
4 votes:

darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.


Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?
d23 [BareFark]
2018-02-13 11:46:15 AM  
4 votes:

vudukungfu: This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.


And I thought the Mods had lost their sense of humor.
2018-02-13 11:45:39 AM  
4 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:43:56 AM  
4 votes:
Trump is re-elected and he comes back just to take a lie-detector test?

Obviously he is not following his actual orders...
2018-02-13 02:53:14 PM  
3 votes:

Oh-Blonde-One: beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.
I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!


#4 - Scorpions - Winds Of Change.
Play 02 21 34 43 44 with the Powerball of 12.
You are welcome.
2018-02-13 02:09:09 PM  
3 votes:

Klom Dark: HAMMERTOE: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) ...

Fourth Point: Reverse time-travel is a physical impossibility. Forward time-travel is a fact; we're all doing it right now at a nominal 1:1 rate.

Picture two typical film projectors pointed at the same screen (that screen representing physical "reality".) Both projectors are set up to display a single object, be it a person, or a simple rubber ball, both beginning at a specific point in time.. The difference: one projector will project the "natural" sequence of events (time running forward.) The second projector will project the "reverse" sequence of events, (time running backward.) A random "starting point" is selected, and both projectors are synchronized, simulating the exact instant reverse time-travel would begin. During the very first attosecond, both projectors will show the object occupying the same point in space. Two of the same object, occupying the same point in space, is a paradox. Even if the object were travelling at the speed of light, a sufficiently thin slice of time will still produce the same paradox of one forward-travelling object and one backward-travelling object occupying the same point.  Unlike the more jovial thought exercise of considering "becoming your own father", I suspect that this more essential sort of paradox might result in some sort of matter/ anti-matter reaction between the two objects, each given a sort of "temporal polarity" by their direction of time travel.

Does this make sense?

 According to couple of doctors, it's a paradox.


One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history-the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.

The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.

Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
2018-02-13 12:23:13 PM  
3 votes:
No I didn't.
2018-02-13 12:02:05 PM  
3 votes:
...And the Cleveland Browns will STILL be in a rebuilding year in 2030...
d23 [BareFark]
2018-02-13 11:57:18 AM  
3 votes:

OOF: [img.fark.net image 182x277]


Stop it, Castleton Snob.
2018-02-13 11:47:49 AM  
3 votes:

dittybopper: Shostie: Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?

600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.

How did he get back?


He didn't. Seth McFarlane is now playing the "Elon Musk" character for interviews and press events.
2018-02-13 11:46:05 AM  
3 votes:

snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.


Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.
2018-02-13 11:44:37 AM  
3 votes:
I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.
2018-02-13 11:43:03 AM  
3 votes:

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.
2018-02-13 11:42:11 AM  
3 votes:
So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?
hej
2018-02-13 11:41:23 AM  
3 votes:
Not one single John Titor reference?  Seriously?
2018-02-13 11:39:38 AM  
3 votes:
Ah, The Mirror.  When the Daily Mail is too high-brow.
2018-02-13 08:03:02 PM  
2 votes:

Danger Mouse: aseras: I passed every polygraph i ever had to take for my security clearance. I'm immortal, I'm superman and I'm batman too. Never lost any of my clearances.

after 3 straight, i never had to do another test, but everyone else did.

Did you answer every question truthfully?


I lied on the control questions ( which I was supposed to do ). Which didn't register as a lie. I was asked if I were my age, yes. If I were born in whatever state, yes.

Then the "no way questions" I was told to answer yes to, "are you superman"? Yes, lie "Have you ever done drugs?" Yes,lie ( but also wanted to point out so many things are drugs but....) "have I ever stolen from anyone?" No (questionable) "have I ever told a lie in the past 10 years?" No (definite lie) no change from baseline. They are all yes or no questions and they create a baseline from your true answers and your false ones. They couldn't get one on me. I even told the polygraph guy that he was a very beautiful woman and passed. It was fun. There were obviously "real" questions mixed in like "have you ever stolen anything from work?" Or "have you disclosed classified information without authorization" or "have you ever held open the door to a secure facility to let someone tailgate you in" typical bs squirm questions. I did answer yes to "have I ever gained unauthorized access to a system" which was true and I had to explain why. ( I hacked my bosses PC during our usual pranks and back in ancient times I set the baud rate of his NIC to 300 baud ( BNC and AUI days...) to screw with him to get back at him posting thousands of IE icons all going to random porn sites on my desktop, and I also put a non bootable disk in a floppy drive hidden inside his case and put another one in the real floppy that was disconnected ) It took him weeks to figure it out. Good times.

/I'm an extremely high functional aspergers. Those kind of tests just don't work on me at all. I'm way way too in control. I don't get social cues or when it's my turn to speak in conversations. I'm always interrupting someone because I misread a cue.
//I have an eidetic memory, so I never forget anything, usually. Unless I'm super obsessed and totally dissociated from reality. Even then I can usually close my eyes and "rewind" and reread or relisten to something I missed.
///everyone thinks I'm some kind of super genius, but I just want to be dumb and normal, and that's not getting into any of my medical or genetic problems.
2018-02-13 07:39:36 PM  
2 votes:
If it's not Art Bell's Time Traveler's open line, then it is simply not true.

In another timeline John Titor laughs at this pathetic poser.
2018-02-13 05:33:25 PM  
2 votes:

Adebisi: That reads like the beginning of a chapter in a Douglas Adams' book.


That's probably because it wioll haven be.


I am actually embarrassed that I did not recognize it as exactly what it was.
2018-02-13 04:32:23 PM  
2 votes:

Altoid: Adebisi: Klom Dark: HAMMERTOE: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) ...

Fourth Point: Reverse time-travel is a physical impossibility. Forward time-travel is a fact; we're all doing it right now at a nominal 1:1 rate.

Picture two typical film projectors pointed at the same screen (that screen representing physical "reality".) Both projectors are set up to display a single object, be it a person, or a simple rubber ball, both beginning at a specific point in time.. The difference: one projector will project the "natural" sequence of events (time running forward.) The second projector will project the "reverse" sequence of events, (time running backward.) A random "starting point" is selected, and both projectors are synchronized, simulating the exact instant reverse time-travel would begin. During the very first attosecond, both projectors will show the object occupying the same point in space. Two of the same object, occupying the same point in space, is a paradox. Even if the object were travelling at the speed of light, a sufficiently thin slice of time will still produce the same paradox of one forward-travelling object and one backward-travelling object occupying the same point.  Unlike the more jovial thought exercise of considering "becoming your own father", I suspect that this more essential sort of paradox might result in some sort of matter/ anti-matter reaction between the two objects, each given a sort of "temporal polarity" by their direction of time travel.

Does this make sense?

 According to couple of doctors, it's a paradox.

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history-the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were suppos ...

That reads like the beginning of a chapter in a Douglas Adams' book.


That's probably because it wioll haven be.
2018-02-13 01:49:20 PM  
2 votes:

Sword and Shield: 2030, eh? Give me some artifacts. Simple pocket change from 2030. Forget the big stuff- who plays goal for the Red Wings in the 2030-31 season? A simple picture of them in net, please.


If he can provide a photo shopped image of a future-dated USA today, that's all the proof I need.
2018-02-13 01:07:25 PM  
2 votes:
Time travel? Bullshiat. Everybody knows we slipped into an alternate dimension where Trump is president due to that damn Large Hadron Collider.

/Everybody knows
//But not everyone knows
///WheeeOoooo sounds
2018-02-13 01:00:19 PM  
2 votes:
He's got a time machine, and he only goes 12 years into the past?

Noob.
2018-02-13 12:58:24 PM  
2 votes:

Once and Future Lurker: Thanks Obama.


User name checks out
2018-02-13 12:49:18 PM  
2 votes:

beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove Oh, god, it was AWFUL
-"stop, collaborate and ____" listen
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? laughed at you
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? no idea
Etc, etc...


/born in 76
2018-02-13 12:33:16 PM  
2 votes:

tuxq: Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.

It's not possible to go back and change things like that. Doing so would negate your reason of going back in time, cancelling out.


It is imperative that they go back in time and assassinate Flugelman, though.

Who's Flugelman, you ask?  Exactly.
2018-02-13 12:30:09 PM  
2 votes:
There is pretty much no way to disprove that someone is a time traveler.  Conversely, there is no way to prove it either.

Unless they can actually show evidence like, "In two minutes, a bird will hit that window" kind of thing.

For this guy to be coming out with these predictions only means something to the people that hope they come true.  Everyone else won't believe it at all.

One thing I cannot believe for a moment is that Trump would be reelected in 2020.  I seems pretty clear that much of this country lost it's mind in the last election.  But it seems equally clear now that we won't be making that mistake again.

Unless, you know, something really really really seriously goes wrong.  Like Trump has all his opponents assassinated.  And suddenly he starts showing glaring approvals in the polls.  And he wins the election in a landslide on the platform of, "Vote for me, or we kill your family".
2018-02-13 12:26:38 PM  
2 votes:
damn it Barry!
2018-02-13 12:07:18 PM  
2 votes:
Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

I played the shiat out of that scenario.
C&C Red Alert - Dagger Falls on Map of Europe & Europe Turns Red
Youtube qP6BhAdhSKs
2018-02-13 12:02:59 PM  
2 votes:
Many have been sceptical of what he says - so he agreed to take a lie detector test.

Many?  Not all, Daily Mail?
2018-02-13 11:55:59 AM  
2 votes:
It's time for one more Seinfeld reference:

img.fark.netView Full Size


"Is he from the future?"
2018-02-13 11:50:49 AM  
2 votes:

pheelix: BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.

I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.


Use the South Park method - cut off an arm and see if that same arm disappears on the future guy.  When it does, reveal that you only faked cutting off your arm
2018-02-13 11:49:38 AM  
2 votes:

dittybopper: Shostie: Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?

600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.

How did he get back?


Silly rabbit, the wayback machine is invented in 2018 by a 12yo girl in Chicago to get back home. But after the Coal Wars of 2019, there was no power and the secret was lost until the United States of Manysnowta ran oft the GOP in 2029 and excavated the Chicago Valley.
2018-02-13 11:48:33 AM  
2 votes:
Given the source, I now doubt the concept of time.
2018-02-13 11:46:05 AM  
2 votes:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


No, companies will achieve citizenship in 2022. Owning stock will be declared a form of slavery in 2023. In 2024, BP Oil successfully runs for senate, and later storms the presidential election in 2028. After that it's open season on anyone not "invested" in the growth of the company.

I see humanity ending once Big Corp. becomes sentient in 2040.
2018-02-13 11:45:19 AM  
2 votes:
His younger self is currently alive and well in 2018.  Find him, check finger prints and DNA, if they match, that proves it.
2018-02-13 11:43:33 AM  
2 votes:

Shostie: Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?

600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.


How did he get back?
2018-02-13 11:43:24 AM  
2 votes:
This just in: Mentally ill man demonstrates unreliability of quack device known as a "lie detector", thus upholding the scientific consensus on the device.
2018-02-13 11:43:15 AM  
2 votes:

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?


That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.
2018-02-13 05:19:32 PM  
1 vote:

vudukungfu: This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.


I see this has just sort of been covered, but shouldn't that be

This wioll haven been a repeat...?
2018-02-13 05:08:40 PM  
1 vote:

zepillin: A confused incarnate with partial memories of futures past.

It happens.


Wait, I saw this movie. This is the one where Wolverine goes back to the 60s to kill Tyrion Lannister and the robot David is there?
2018-02-13 03:43:14 PM  
1 vote:

Wine Sipping Elitist: guestguy: OldRod: Deep Contact: darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?

[78.media.tumblr.com image 500x318]

Probably "Primer" rules

Damnit, I'd better start recording my conversations...

I hate the 'spelling' of the word 'damnit'. It's either two words, damn it, or one word spelled dammit.

I get why it's done. I simply hate looking at it.

https://www.google.com/search?q=define​+damnit

/Sorry not sorry
//Not a game


If your levee has lice, they might leave damnits.
2018-02-13 03:30:00 PM  
1 vote:

beezeltown: Oh-Blonde-One: beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.
I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!

The Berlin wall one...sorry. "winds of change" by the Scorpions. That farking song played for at least two years straight.


Ahhhh. THAT song. I think I'd blocked it from my memory.
And now I'll hear it playing everywhere I go for the next month.
2018-02-13 03:15:22 PM  
1 vote:

Adebisi: Klom Dark: HAMMERTOE: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) ...

Fourth Point: Reverse time-travel is a physical impossibility. Forward time-travel is a fact; we're all doing it right now at a nominal 1:1 rate.

Picture two typical film projectors pointed at the same screen (that screen representing physical "reality".) Both projectors are set up to display a single object, be it a person, or a simple rubber ball, both beginning at a specific point in time.. The difference: one projector will project the "natural" sequence of events (time running forward.) The second projector will project the "reverse" sequence of events, (time running backward.) A random "starting point" is selected, and both projectors are synchronized, simulating the exact instant reverse time-travel would begin. During the very first attosecond, both projectors will show the object occupying the same point in space. Two of the same object, occupying the same point in space, is a paradox. Even if the object were travelling at the speed of light, a sufficiently thin slice of time will still produce the same paradox of one forward-travelling object and one backward-travelling object occupying the same point.  Unlike the more jovial thought exercise of considering "becoming your own father", I suspect that this more essential sort of paradox might result in some sort of matter/ anti-matter reaction between the two objects, each given a sort of "temporal polarity" by their direction of time travel.

Does this make sense?

 According to couple of doctors, it's a paradox.

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history-the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were suppos ...


That reads like the beginning of a chapter in a Douglas Adams' book.
2018-02-13 02:36:56 PM  
1 vote:
cinema1544.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Maybe he's reached his limit of time leaps?
2018-02-13 02:28:00 PM  
1 vote:
Dimensional Distortion of Odd Order Harmonics Within Time Travel
The 11th dimension is bound by three general forces of which two are the 6th dimension and one is the breakdown of individual nonelastic motion particles which co-exist within a celebrant ultra-universe.  The order of odd harmonics involves increases in magnitude of the second amplification factor while it crosses the NP junction. That is to say for example, while taking two scissors and trying to parallel their cutting edges, these will no doubt find a central point that is mutual or greater than an infinite edge. Likewise, the ultra-universes are in cohabitation along with a duo Decca sharpness of light gathering in the lower sub-atomic extremities of negative obsolesced quirks. Now then, the opposing 6th dimension alternates its bio trajectory to impose a spiral phenomena altarpiece in relation to bipedal anomalies. Passing between the past and the future, the edges of the space time fabric blur together.  There is a finite moment when the odd order harmonic equalizes a centripetally exposed frequency. This frequency is 1.7 times its angular velocity expressed as a vector who's rate of transmission is meters per anon-seconds inducing weightlessness which is sustained during its duration.  This causes the gravitation pull to subside for the duration of the harmonic.  An example of simple factors are existent and exiting the earth's gravitational void.  This process can also be simplified by gaining momentum first.  The big factor of the dimensional distortion is now relevant to the second amplification factor. During this time, the amplification factor distorts into an even multiple of the ultra-universe allowing for indiscriminate time travel.
2018-02-13 02:05:50 PM  
1 vote:

HAMMERTOE: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) ...

Fourth Point: Reverse time-travel is a physical impossibility. Forward time-travel is a fact; we're all doing it right now at a nominal 1:1 rate.

Picture two typical film projectors pointed at the same screen (that screen representing physical "reality".) Both projectors are set up to display a single object, be it a person, or a simple rubber ball, both beginning at a specific point in time.. The difference: one projector will project the "natural" sequence of events (time running forward.) The second projector will project the "reverse" sequence of events, (time running backward.) A random "starting point" is selected, and both projectors are synchronized, simulating the exact instant reverse time-travel would begin. During the very first attosecond, both projectors will show the object occupying the same point in space. Two of the same object, occupying the same point in space, is a paradox. Even if the object were travelling at the speed of light, a sufficiently thin slice of time will still produce the same paradox of one forward-travelling object and one backward-travelling object occupying the same point.  Unlike the more jovial thought exercise of considering "becoming your own father", I suspect that this more essential sort of paradox might result in some sort of matter/ anti-matter reaction between the two objects, each given a sort of "temporal polarity" by their direction of time travel.

Does this make sense?


 According to couple of doctors, it's a paradox.
2018-02-13 02:05:04 PM  
1 vote:
aseras:


Space and time are related so It should scientifically be possible. But to go back in time you also need to be able to also teleport through space. The earth is always moving, as is the galaxy, universe etc. So if you went anywhere in time even a few hours, the earth would be moving around the sun at 67,000 mph and the solar system is orbiting the galaxy at 515,000 mph and we have no idea how fast the universe itself is moving.

If you are off by a fraction of a millisecond you are floating in space or crushed, or inside the planet or the sun or worse.


I send all my trash and the bodies of my enemies 100 years into the future.
2018-02-13 01:52:39 PM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.


Difficulty:  Mueller and the upcoming impeachments.
2018-02-13 01:09:37 PM  
1 vote:

pheelix: BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.

I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.


I say we see if he weighs more than a duck
2018-02-13 12:46:48 PM  
1 vote:
Does the lie detector look at the 17 pantomimes?
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:37:07 PM  
1 vote:

Gleeman: BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.

You don't want to run into yourself while time traveling, it's very awkward.


No, but it makes that, "excuse me" more apropos.
2018-02-13 12:25:10 PM  
1 vote:

snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.


Farkied as such
2018-02-13 12:21:51 PM  
1 vote:

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

Noah previously told Paranormal Elite he has anorexia and depression and is actually 50-years-old, but took an age rejuvenating drug to turn him into a 25-year-old.


So you see, it's totally legit.
2018-02-13 12:19:37 PM  
1 vote:
It's Mirror so now I doubt existence of lies
2018-02-13 12:15:47 PM  
1 vote:
Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove
-"stop, collaborate and ____"
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed?
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group?
Etc, etc...
2018-02-13 12:12:03 PM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.


Pedantics are the best antics.
2018-02-13 12:10:59 PM  
1 vote:

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


And that's why it'll happen. People will be so busy freaking out during that election that they will forget to vote again.
2018-02-13 12:10:00 PM  
1 vote:

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?


In suspension in a Klein bottle universe because paradox. Second Law of Thermoderpnamics.
OOF
2018-02-13 12:08:41 PM  
1 vote:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:00:58 PM  
1 vote:

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:55:49 AM  
1 vote:
The real question is, where's the other time traveler that's looking for Sarah Connor?
2018-02-13 11:52:36 AM  
1 vote:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Unimpressed
2018-02-13 11:51:26 AM  
1 vote:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:49:36 AM  
1 vote:

BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.


I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.
2018-02-13 11:48:34 AM  
1 vote:
Was he able to find a working IBM 5100 on eBay?

/not obscure.

foo monkey: Ah, The Mirror.  When the Daily Mail is too high-brow.


Have seen the story elsewhere, but then who trusts i09 anymore?
2018-02-13 11:47:55 AM  
1 vote:

OOF: [img.fark.net image 390x116]


This never gets old for me. Maybe it's his steel-cold look of determination, that maybe, just maybe, his cardboard, duct tape & aluminum foil time machine will perhaps work. And when it does, shiat IS GOING TO GET REAL!
2018-02-13 11:47:22 AM  
1 vote:

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?


He had a date in the restaurant across the street.

/Wacky hijinks ensued
2018-02-13 11:46:07 AM  
1 vote:
I passed every polygraph i ever had to take for my security clearance. I'm immortal, I'm superman and I'm batman too. Never lost any of my clearances.

after 3 straight, i never had to do another test, but everyone else did.
OOF
2018-02-13 11:44:40 AM  
1 vote:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:39:35 AM  
1 vote:

Shostie: Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?

600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.


Sure. But he wasn't in it... Or was he?
2018-02-13 11:37:32 AM  
1 vote:

Once and Future Lurker: Thanks Obama.


Obama was last seen forming a hit squad to go after this guy... can't let word of his secret time machine get out now, can we?
2018-02-13 11:23:24 AM  
1 vote:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


Nah, the ebil socializms abolished companies in 2021.
 
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