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(Mirror.co.uk)   This just in: Time traveler from 2030 risks his life to come back and let us know what the future has in store. Bonus: He passed a lie detector test   ( mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, lie detector test, Time travel, Future, Time, Donald Trump, Science fiction, Lie, Lie detection  
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13188 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2018 at 11:35 AM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-02-13 11:07:50 AM  
128 votes:
Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.
OOF
2018-02-13 11:37:28 AM  
35 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:36:32 AM  
26 votes:
It's not John Titor?
2018-02-13 11:43:24 AM  
24 votes:
This just in: Mentally ill man demonstrates unreliability of quack device known as a "lie detector", thus upholding the scientific consensus on the device.
2018-02-13 11:42:11 AM  
20 votes:
So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?
2018-02-13 11:29:13 AM  
19 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


Thread over, everyone go home.
2018-02-13 11:45:19 AM  
18 votes:
His younger self is currently alive and well in 2018.  Find him, check finger prints and DNA, if they match, that proves it.
2018-02-13 11:46:05 AM  
15 votes:

snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.


Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.
2018-02-13 11:52:31 AM  
12 votes:
To all time travelers:

If you want to be taken seriously, bring back a list of powerball results. Hell, take the first one for yourself then release the rest. Your claims will be vetted very quickly.

If you don't do that, you're not from the future.
2018-02-13 11:59:44 AM  
9 votes:

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


The difference is where(when) the time machine is located.
When a machine is located in the future, and sends you back {12 Monkeys}, you can only return to your original timeline, making paradoxes impossible. When the machine comes along with you {Back to the Future}, you're free to drift into whatever alternate timeline you create.
Hope I cleared that up.
2018-02-13 11:40:59 AM  
8 votes:
Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

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2018-02-13 11:39:38 AM  
8 votes:
Ah, The Mirror.  When the Daily Mail is too high-brow.
2018-02-13 11:38:10 AM  
8 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."


So much this. Their primary purpose is to be misunderstood by subjects who think they work and wind up confessing since they think they'll be found out.
2018-02-13 11:43:03 AM  
7 votes:

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.
2018-02-13 11:39:32 PM  
6 votes:
This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.
2018-02-13 11:46:05 AM  
6 votes:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


No, companies will achieve citizenship in 2022. Owning stock will be declared a form of slavery in 2023. In 2024, BP Oil successfully runs for senate, and later storms the presidential election in 2028. After that it's open season on anyone not "invested" in the growth of the company.

I see humanity ending once Big Corp. becomes sentient in 2040.
hej
2018-02-13 11:41:23 AM  
6 votes:
Not one single John Titor reference?  Seriously?
OOF
2018-02-13 11:44:40 AM  
5 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 02:51:01 PM  
4 votes:

Oh-Blonde-One: beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.
I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!


The Berlin wall one...sorry. "winds of change" by the Scorpions. That farking song played for at least two years straight.
2018-02-13 12:33:17 PM  
4 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Also unimpressed.
2018-02-13 12:15:47 PM  
4 votes:
Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove
-"stop, collaborate and ____"
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed?
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group?
Etc, etc...
2018-02-13 12:11:36 PM  
4 votes:
2030, eh? Give me some artifacts. Simple pocket change from 2030. Forget the big stuff- who plays goal for the Red Wings in the 2030-31 season? A simple picture of them in net, please.
2018-02-13 11:48:34 AM  
4 votes:
Was he able to find a working IBM 5100 on eBay?

/not obscure.

foo monkey: Ah, The Mirror.  When the Daily Mail is too high-brow.


Have seen the story elsewhere, but then who trusts i09 anymore?
OOF
2018-02-13 11:47:54 AM  
4 votes:
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2018-02-13 11:43:54 AM  
4 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:25:02 AM  
4 votes:
I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?
2018-02-13 07:26:40 PM  
3 votes:

special20: Fake news.
If this was real, the time traveler would prevent Trump from wining in 2020.


Trump may be the consequence. A proverbial wake up call to the American people to stop voting party lines and actually consider WHO they are voting for and why. It's his purpose to fail and screw the country so hard that it changes the future and facilitates major cultural and societal change.
2018-02-13 06:40:31 PM  
3 votes:

jayessell: Hey Time Travelers of 2030...

Build a self contained device able to record the Analog Television Signals of the late 1940s to the mid 1960s.
You'll probably need a 10P Hard Drive or whatever it is you use.
Go to 1945 and hide it in the Empire State building.
(A few walls had to be repaired after that Bomber ran into it. Put it inside one.)
In 2031 remove it.
(You removed it after you put it in. No Paradox.)
Copy the more popular and interesting shows to old fashioned VHS tapes that you purchased in the 1980s.
(You sold the tapes after you purchased them. No Paradox)
Repeat using DVDs.
Repeat using flash drives.


Addendum to this: Enterprising time travellers in NYC wouldn't even need to do up to 1960 for proof of time travel.  Focus on 441 line television from 1940-1941 (none of which has been preserved) and focus after 1945 or so on broadcasts from DuMont Television Network from 1946 to 1956.

Considering that practically the entire DuMont Television Network library was destroyed in 1970--about the only shows that appeared on DuMont that have survived in their entirety are The Honeymooners and The John Hopkins Science Review, in both cases because production companies kept tapes--merely having video of surviving DuMont shows is going to be proof positive of successful time travel.  Hell, having a single farking episode of Cash and Carry (first TV game show on DuMont, no surviving episodes exist) or the full run of Captain Video and his Video Rangers (one of first bits of TV programming done for kids, ran from 1949-1955, only 24 episodes are known to have survived) or the DuMont runs of The Original Amateur Hour from 1946-1949 (one of the first major TV hit shows, none of the DuMont episodes have survived) or more than four episodes of the DuMont run of The Eddie Kovacs Show (only a single episode and three partials have survived from the 1954-1955 run on DuMont) would be proof in and of itself of time travel--all they'd have to do is have a 525-line NTSC receiving rig recording WABD channel 5 :D

For bonus points: Pretty much a verifiable full run of any of the shows on this list dating before 1955, but especially:

a) Going to London and recording an original recording in 405-line format of the original 1955 broadcast of The Quatermass Experiment (this would DEFINITELY suffice--not even the BBC has a surviving tape or kinescope of this, as this was one of the first shows the BBC tried to telerecord and it went so poorly the attempt was abandoned after the first two episodes)
b) Going to London and recording the original 11 February 1938 broadcast of R.U.R. or in fact any pre-war BBC broadcasting in 405 line format, particularly the live recording of the coronation of King George VI or the full run of Vanity Fair (yes, as in what was probably the first regular series on fashion ever broadcast, yes, named for the magazine; the series dates from 1939).  No pre-war broadcasting in the 405 line format has survived; in fact, the only pre-war broadcasting that has survived in the UK are some old phonograph recordings (yes, seriously!) of experimental broadcasts in Baird mechanical 30-line format dating from the early thirties.  (Telerecording did not become common at the BBC until the mid-50s, and pretty much almost all programming before 1953 was live and was never recorded in any format.)
c) Verifiable recordings of any live television show produced before 1947 outside of Nazi Germany.  (In general, Nazi Germany used telefilm--recording to film via camera and then broadcasting the film.  The British did prewar electronic format broadcasting from 1936-1939 in 405 line format (which survived until the 90s) and only a telecine recording of sporadic E skip reception exists; no examples exist of the early 455 line service in France; likewise almost nothing exists of the 441 line standard in use in the US before 1941 (which used the now-defunct channel 1, and which was the first commercial TV broadcasting in the world).  That last link, of note, includes a convenient broadcast schedule for time travelers who want to record some real television history that is now lost :D

For extra bonus points--if the time traveller is feeling particularly brave and wants to risk being in the Blitz: Get the full recordings of the closedown of BBC Television on 1 September 1939 and the restart of transmissions in 1946. :D  There's an AWFUL lot of mythology surrounding those two, and no actual recordings of the final broadcast and restart of broadcasting exist.

If the time traveller is not feeling quite so brave (or confident re the survivability of his equipment), they might try some BBC programmes in London dating from pre-telerecording era known to be lost.  Some are fairly...mundane (like The Care Of Your Car dating from 1947, arguably the first "backyard mechanic" show) whilst some are significant but lost (like Don't Look Now which aired in 1950, or the first known television production of Sherlock Holmes which was a live teleplay in 1951)

So the time travelers need to get to it :D  Come on, the broadcast archives are depending on YOU :D
2018-02-13 12:30:54 PM  
3 votes:
So this person made an unauthorized trip back in time to warn us about the future, and the warnings are ... that google glass will be popular, trump will win 2020, and that electric cars will go fast?
2018-02-13 12:27:47 PM  
3 votes:
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The first rule of Time Travel Club?  No pocket change.  It messes everything up.
2018-02-13 12:07:45 PM  
3 votes:
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2018-02-13 11:49:36 AM  
3 votes:

BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.


I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.
d23 [BareFark]
2018-02-13 11:46:15 AM  
3 votes:

vudukungfu: This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.


And I thought the Mods had lost their sense of humor.
2018-02-13 11:45:39 AM  
3 votes:
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2018-02-13 11:44:37 AM  
3 votes:
I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.
2018-02-13 05:03:02 PM  
2 votes:
He doesn't seem to be taking any risks with his predictions. And it is well known that a lot of people can pass a "lie detector" test, including people who believe the crap they are saying, such as DJT.

The riskiest prediction seems to be that pennies will still be in use in 2030. Canada has already abandoned pennies and either the UK or the USA could do so soon even if they are more conservative about such things.

Trump could win in 2020. His impeachment is not a fore-gone concluion and even if impeached he could continue to hold office--Clinton did. Unless he is charged with something that will send him to jail, he might make it to 2020 without being impeached and continue to hold office well into a second term.

Then again, he is the oldest US President, probably the only reluctant and unprepared one, and he could die of natural causes, which in his case includes being Nuked by North Korea, some other enemy, or a friendly power, possibly his own government.

NOW THAT WOULD BE A PREDICTION TO BRING TO US FROM THE FUTURE!

US Military Nukes Florida Golf Course and stages anti-Trump coup!

Don't hold your breath. But the kid has some good ideas, as hoaxers often do. Do try to invest more in clean energy and fighting climate change. You obviously can't count o Bushes, Trumps or even Clintons and Obamas to do a lot.

Under Bill Clinton US energy use per $1million of goods and services declined by 18%. Which is about what Obama promised, meaning his goals were somewhat unambitious, consisting of what business and consumers chose to do spoontaneously to save money. and make more profits. There's still a lot of cheap or free gains to be made--one little slice at a time. There are also a lot of things we can do which will cost money, starting at very low costs and easy things to give up, and ranging up to $200 a tonne or more.

China has promised 25% cuts as they modernize their energy production and use, not to mention manufacturing, etc. And they are delivering because their ambitions are small and hard to avoid as well.

But do your best to help and not hinder progress towards a carbon-free economy and an end to pollution and waste.
2018-02-13 03:16:10 PM  
2 votes:

beezeltown: Oh-Blonde-One: beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.
I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!

The Nintendo glove...a very much hyped must-have for Christmas about 1990 or so. Supposed to be cool..turned out to be a complete piece of shiat gimmick. 10-12 year old boys in that era definitely knew about the glove, and were universally disappointed by it.


Everyone remembers the Power Glove, probably because of that movie, but the world seems to have forgotten the Uforce.

img.fark.netView Full Size


The craziest thing about the Uforce is that it actually worked.
2018-02-13 01:53:50 PM  
2 votes:
Hey Time Travelers of 2030...

Build a self contained device able to record the Analog Television Signals of the late 1940s to the mid 1960s.
You'll probably need a 10P Hard Drive or whatever it is you use.
Go to 1945 and hide it in the Empire State building.
(A few walls had to be repaired after that Bomber ran into it. Put it inside one.)
In 2031 remove it.
(You removed it after you put it in. No Paradox.)
Copy the more popular and interesting shows to old fashioned VHS tapes that you purchased in the 1980s.
(You sold the tapes after you purchased them. No Paradox)
Repeat using DVDs.
Repeat using flash drives.
2018-02-13 12:52:52 PM  
2 votes:
"Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020, Artificial Intelligence will gain momentum and Google-glasses style machines will take over."

Man those predictions are BOLD and SPICY! And not at all easily believable and vague. I mean, AI?! We don't hear about that at ALL these days!
2018-02-13 12:40:23 PM  
2 votes:

tuxq: Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.

It's not possible to go back and change things like that. Doing so would negate your reason of going back in time, cancelling out.

Depends on the time travel rules. In Orson Scott Card's Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus, (Spoilers!!)
the time travelers did change the past in such a way as to not only wipe out their reason for going back, but their own existence and that of all of the intervening generations of their ancestors, all of the history, whole nations, whole genres of literature and entertainment, technology, religions (including Card's own Mormonism which could never come into existence in the re-altered timeline), etc., all to be replaced by new versions of each. The time travelers themselves were immune from this because for the brief instant of time travel, they were outside of the flow of causality. They "remembered" their "past" because of the neural structures of their brains where those memories were stored which remained unaltered, but that "past" would now never happen.

That novel makes a fascinating case that we currently live in a deliberately altered timeline. ⇒ Time viewers from a previous iteration of history sent back a device that caused Columbus to think he'd experienced a vision of the Holy Trinity telling him to sail west to reach the Orient.
2018-02-13 12:26:22 PM  
2 votes:
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2018-02-13 11:59:17 AM  
2 votes:
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2018-02-13 11:51:50 AM  
2 votes:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


Nah, betting on sports is where the money is.

static.tvtropes.orgView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:44:32 AM  
2 votes:
Well, some of his predictions, made just before the peak of the shiatcoin craze, seem suspect already.
2018-02-13 11:41:11 AM  
2 votes:
All you skeptics didn't see how the word 'true' popped up on the YouTube video. Incontrovertible.
2018-02-13 11:34:42 AM  
2 votes:

Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?


600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.
2018-02-13 11:27:28 AM  
2 votes:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


With one exception

[...]2028 - the same year time travel is made public
2018-02-13 08:18:57 PM  
1 vote:
I probably couldn't live long enough to watch a PentaByte of anything.
Not sure how many hours that would be.
2018-02-13 08:09:17 PM  
1 vote:
Great Porn Dragon:
Thanks for expanding/explaining my concept better than I could.
I wanted to see the Tom Corbet Space Cadet and Space Patrol shows.
Didn't the Captain Video & Video Rangers use Old Western Serials??

Actually watching PentaGigs of 50s TV might take some of the shine off of The Golden Age of Television.
2018-02-13 08:03:02 PM  
1 vote:

Danger Mouse: aseras: I passed every polygraph i ever had to take for my security clearance. I'm immortal, I'm superman and I'm batman too. Never lost any of my clearances.

after 3 straight, i never had to do another test, but everyone else did.

Did you answer every question truthfully?


I lied on the control questions ( which I was supposed to do ). Which didn't register as a lie. I was asked if I were my age, yes. If I were born in whatever state, yes.

Then the "no way questions" I was told to answer yes to, "are you superman"? Yes, lie "Have you ever done drugs?" Yes,lie ( but also wanted to point out so many things are drugs but....) "have I ever stolen from anyone?" No (questionable) "have I ever told a lie in the past 10 years?" No (definite lie) no change from baseline. They are all yes or no questions and they create a baseline from your true answers and your false ones. They couldn't get one on me. I even told the polygraph guy that he was a very beautiful woman and passed. It was fun. There were obviously "real" questions mixed in like "have you ever stolen anything from work?" Or "have you disclosed classified information without authorization" or "have you ever held open the door to a secure facility to let someone tailgate you in" typical bs squirm questions. I did answer yes to "have I ever gained unauthorized access to a system" which was true and I had to explain why. ( I hacked my bosses PC during our usual pranks and back in ancient times I set the baud rate of his NIC to 300 baud ( BNC and AUI days...) to screw with him to get back at him posting thousands of IE icons all going to random porn sites on my desktop, and I also put a non bootable disk in a floppy drive hidden inside his case and put another one in the real floppy that was disconnected ) It took him weeks to figure it out. Good times.

/I'm an extremely high functional aspergers. Those kind of tests just don't work on me at all. I'm way way too in control. I don't get social cues or when it's my turn to speak in conversations. I'm always interrupting someone because I misread a cue.
//I have an eidetic memory, so I never forget anything, usually. Unless I'm super obsessed and totally dissociated from reality. Even then I can usually close my eyes and "rewind" and reread or relisten to something I missed.
///everyone thinks I'm some kind of super genius, but I just want to be dumb and normal, and that's not getting into any of my medical or genetic problems.
2018-02-13 07:51:03 PM  
1 vote:

Yaw String: I've always wondered how a time traveler would actually end up on the earth's surface after moving forward or backward in time? Since the earth is both rotating at approx 1000 mph and orbiting the sun at approx. 67,000 mph, and our solar system itself is moving at approx. 514,000 mph, seems any movement through time would find your ass floating in space.


Naturally, any technology sufficiently advanced to allow time travel should have the computing power to predict the rotation of the earth, revolutions around the sun, and calculate a destination point based on that..
2018-02-13 03:12:28 PM  
1 vote:
Fake news.
If this was real, the time traveler would prevent Trump from wining in 2020.
2018-02-13 02:57:28 PM  
1 vote:

Oh-Blonde-One: beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.
I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!


The Nintendo glove...a very much hyped must-have for Christmas about 1990 or so. Supposed to be cool..turned out to be a complete piece of shiat gimmick. 10-12 year old boys in that era definitely knew about the glove, and were universally disappointed by it.
2018-02-13 02:37:42 PM  
1 vote:

ceejayoz: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

So much this. Their primary purpose is to be misunderstood by subjects who think they work and wind up confessing since they think they'll be found out.


So nobody else is bringing Bunk and the "lie detector"? Really? "The bigger the lie, the more they believe."

The Wire - Bunk's interrogation techniques
Youtube rN7pkFNEg5c
2018-02-13 02:21:41 PM  
1 vote:

beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

I was in high school during these years, so here goes...

-tell me about the Nintendo glove - NO CLUE what you're talking about.  Now ask me about t.v. shows popular at that time, and I might be able to help you.
-"stop, collaborate and ____" - LISTEN.  (Because Ice is back, ya know).
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? - Snickered at you.  Stoopid dog.
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? - The Berlin Wall had its own theme song?  How did I not know this??
Etc, etc...

You need to work on these questions.  I couldn't answer half of them and I'm from this timeline!
2018-02-13 02:09:21 PM  
1 vote:
I've always wondered how a time traveler would actually end up on the earth's surface after moving forward or backward in time? Since the earth is both rotating at approx 1000 mph and orbiting the sun at approx. 67,000 mph, and our solar system itself is moving at approx. 514,000 mph, seems any movement through time would find your ass floating in space.
2018-02-13 01:52:39 PM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.


Difficulty:  Mueller and the upcoming impeachments.
2018-02-13 01:37:32 PM  
1 vote:

beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove
-"stop, collaborate and ____"
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed?
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group?
Etc, etc...


You mean the Power Glove? I had one- hard as hell to use.
Listen.
Laughed.
Beats me.

Hell, I was born in 82 and don't remember the last.
2018-02-13 01:31:47 PM  
1 vote:

durbnpoisn: There is pretty much no way to disprove that someone is a time traveler.  Conversely, there is no way to prove it either.

Unless they can actually show evidence like, "In two minutes, a bird will hit that window" kind of thing.


Space and time are related so It should scientifically be possible. But to go back in time you also need to be able to also teleport through space. The earth is always moving, as is the galaxy, universe etc. So if you went anywhere in time even a few hours, the earth would be moving around the sun at 67,000 mph and the solar system is orbiting the galaxy at 515,000 mph and we have no idea how fast the universe itself is moving.
If you are off by a fraction of a millisecond you are floating in space or crushed, or inside the planet or the sun or worse.

Suppose you can do it and can prove it ala the "Biff Almanac" or something. Then you seriously alter history and the whole timeline. Maybe you are supposed to. Maybe the reasons humans are on earth is someone farked up and got stranded on this rock. Every possible outcome becomes possible and then you can dabble into multiverse theory and really break your perception of reality.
2018-02-13 01:07:25 PM  
1 vote:
Time travel? Bullshiat. Everybody knows we slipped into an alternate dimension where Trump is president due to that damn Large Hadron Collider.

/Everybody knows
//But not everyone knows
///WheeeOoooo sounds
2018-02-13 12:49:18 PM  
1 vote:

beezeltown: Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove Oh, god, it was AWFUL
-"stop, collaborate and ____" listen
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed? laughed at you
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group? no idea
Etc, etc...


/born in 76
2018-02-13 12:37:27 PM  
1 vote:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) ...


Fourth Point: Reverse time-travel is a physical impossibility. Forward time-travel is a fact; we're all doing it right now at a nominal 1:1 rate.

Picture two typical film projectors pointed at the same screen (that screen representing physical "reality".) Both projectors are set up to display a single object, be it a person, or a simple rubber ball, both beginning at a specific point in time.. The difference: one projector will project the "natural" sequence of events (time running forward.) The second projector will project the "reverse" sequence of events, (time running backward.) A random "starting point" is selected, and both projectors are synchronized, simulating the exact instant reverse time-travel would begin. During the very first attosecond, both projectors will show the object occupying the same point in space. Two of the same object, occupying the same point in space, is a paradox. Even if the object were travelling at the speed of light, a sufficiently thin slice of time will still produce the same paradox of one forward-travelling object and one backward-travelling object occupying the same point.  Unlike the more jovial thought exercise of considering "becoming your own father", I suspect that this more essential sort of paradox might result in some sort of matter/ anti-matter reaction between the two objects, each given a sort of "temporal polarity" by their direction of time travel.

Does this make sense?
2018-02-13 12:20:51 PM  
1 vote:

Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.


It's not possible to go back and change things like that. Doing so would negate your reason of going back in time, cancelling out.
2018-02-13 12:14:44 PM  
1 vote:
thethingswesay.comView Full Size
2018-02-13 12:11:47 PM  
1 vote:
Lie Detector, you say?  Is that one of those things that's *not* admissible in court, because it isn't all that accurate?
2018-02-13 12:08:30 PM  
1 vote:

Myrdinn: TheSwizz: To all time travelers:

If you want to be taken seriously, bring back a list of powerball results. Hell, take the first one for yourself then release the rest. Your claims will be vetted very quickly.

If you don't do that, you're not from the future.

You know you'd just create a new timeline, right, with a new observer effect? The powerball numbers are just enough part of the probability foam that they won't roll the same... which means a different winner, different observed states of the universe which results in a new timeline.
Someone with a time machine that tries that will simply end up very, very, very, very, very frustrated.


A list of stock market values ought to be solid enough. Maybe not hit as big as the lottery, but you could make bank even with index funds and shorting other stocks.
2018-02-13 12:02:06 PM  
1 vote:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


1 and 2 are dead on. Also this promotion that it "omg detects lies" only makes things worse. A polygraph is nearly flat-earther levels of junk science.

The google glass part maybe not. It will take more than 20 years to make those dorky farking things cool again. If when the AI come for us they come for us through some stupid shiat like google glass then they dropped the I off the end of their abbreviation.
2018-02-13 12:00:58 PM  
1 vote:

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:54:45 AM  
1 vote:

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


I'm just worried he was sent back to prevent Trump from getting elected and starting WW3, messed up, and now we're stuck in a stable time loop...
2018-02-13 11:52:41 AM  
1 vote:
Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.
2018-02-13 11:51:34 AM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10 20th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.

Stupid typo.


Most Farkers are educated well enough to understand w/o the correction. Never reverse field when the clock is running.
2018-02-13 11:51:28 AM  
1 vote:

Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?


Maybe it's both.
2018-02-13 11:51:26 AM  
1 vote:

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-13 11:50:49 AM  
1 vote:

pheelix: BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.

I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.


Use the South Park method - cut off an arm and see if that same arm disappears on the future guy.  When it does, reveal that you only faked cutting off your arm
2018-02-13 11:48:33 AM  
1 vote:
Given the source, I now doubt the concept of time.
2018-02-13 11:48:04 AM  
1 vote:
It's not hard to answer questions falsely when there is no risk of negative consequences.

I had the pleasure, once, of informally interviewing for a job I didn't need. That was the most related I've been in an interview, and it went amazingly well.
2018-02-13 11:47:55 AM  
1 vote:

OOF: [img.fark.net image 390x116]


This never gets old for me. Maybe it's his steel-cold look of determination, that maybe, just maybe, his cardboard, duct tape & aluminum foil time machine will perhaps work. And when it does, shiat IS GOING TO GET REAL!
2018-02-13 11:46:07 AM  
1 vote:
I passed every polygraph i ever had to take for my security clearance. I'm immortal, I'm superman and I'm batman too. Never lost any of my clearances.

after 3 straight, i never had to do another test, but everyone else did.
2018-02-13 11:43:56 AM  
1 vote:
Trump is re-elected and he comes back just to take a lie-detector test?

Obviously he is not following his actual orders...
2018-02-13 11:43:15 AM  
1 vote:

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?


That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.
2018-02-13 11:42:41 AM  
1 vote:

OOF: [img.fark.net image 390x116]


Obligatory.......
2018-02-13 11:42:14 AM  
1 vote:

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


fm.cnbc.comView Full Size

Just told his broker to buy lots of zinc.
2018-02-13 11:37:32 AM  
1 vote:

Once and Future Lurker: Thanks Obama.


Obama was last seen forming a hit squad to go after this guy... can't let word of his secret time machine get out now, can we?
2018-02-13 11:18:40 AM  
1 vote:
So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.
 
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