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(Mirror.co.uk)   This just in: Time traveler from 2030 risks his life to come back and let us know what the future has in store. Bonus: He passed a lie detector test   ( mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, lie detector test, Time travel, Future, Time, Donald Trump, Science fiction, Lie, Lie detection  
•       •       •

13189 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2018 at 11:35 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-13 11:48:52 AM  

vudukungfu: This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.


And from the bottom of this thread apparently
 
2018-02-13 11:49:36 AM  

BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.


I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.
 
2018-02-13 11:49:38 AM  

dittybopper: Shostie: Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?

600 miles in one hour on a single charge.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about an electric car approaching Mach 1. Musk drove his car into space, after all.

How did he get back?


Silly rabbit, the wayback machine is invented in 2018 by a 12yo girl in Chicago to get back home. But after the Coal Wars of 2019, there was no power and the secret was lost until the United States of Manysnowta ran oft the GOP in 2029 and excavated the Chicago Valley.
 
2018-02-13 11:49:46 AM  

BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.


You don't want to run into yourself while time traveling, it's very awkward.
 
2018-02-13 11:50:44 AM  
Well, I'm totally convinced.
 
2018-02-13 11:50:49 AM  

pheelix: BadReligion: akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?

That is why he has to remain anonymous, duh.

I say we kill his now self and see if it makes him disappear. It's the only way to be sure.


Use the South Park method - cut off an arm and see if that same arm disappears on the future guy.  When it does, reveal that you only faked cutting off your arm
 
2018-02-13 11:51:26 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 11:51:28 AM  

Norad: I like how this article first says that electric cars will travel at 600 miles per hour, then later says electric cars will travel a distance of 600 miles on one charge. What the fark?


Maybe it's both.
 
2018-02-13 11:51:34 AM  

dittybopper: dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10 20th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.

Stupid typo.


Most Farkers are educated well enough to understand w/o the correction. Never reverse field when the clock is running.
 
2018-02-13 11:51:50 AM  

darthaegis: So I'm sure he's buying lots of stock in that huge company that is about to take off.


Nah, betting on sports is where the money is.

static.tvtropes.orgView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 11:52:11 AM  

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 11:52:31 AM  
To all time travelers:

If you want to be taken seriously, bring back a list of powerball results. Hell, take the first one for yourself then release the rest. Your claims will be vetted very quickly.

If you don't do that, you're not from the future.
 
2018-02-13 11:52:36 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Unimpressed
 
2018-02-13 11:52:41 AM  
Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.
 
2018-02-13 11:52:47 AM  
I really thought I had refreshed before posting.  I was wrong and apologize.
 
2018-02-13 11:52:56 AM  
Come on, people!
We're got a "Barney Miller" trifecta in play, so make it happen!
 
2018-02-13 11:53:07 AM  
Can I get a deja vu?
 
2018-02-13 11:54:45 AM  

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


I'm just worried he was sent back to prevent Trump from getting elected and starting WW3, messed up, and now we're stuck in a stable time loop...
 
2018-02-13 11:55:49 AM  
The real question is, where's the other time traveler that's looking for Sarah Connor?
 
2018-02-13 11:55:59 AM  
It's time for one more Seinfeld reference:

img.fark.netView Full Size


"Is he from the future?"
 
2018-02-13 11:57:11 AM  

Deep Contact: darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?

[78.media.tumblr.com image 500x318]


Probably "Primer" rules
 
d23 [BareFark]
2018-02-13 11:57:18 AM  

OOF: [img.fark.net image 182x277]


Stop it, Castleton Snob.
 
2018-02-13 11:58:03 AM  

Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

Or save the Kennedy's. Or Sandy Hook Elementary. Or Las Vegas. Or...crap, we're gonna need a lot more time travelers.


He already prevented the Bowling Green Massacre, one man can only do so much
 
2018-02-13 11:59:17 AM  
images2.onionstatic.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 11:59:38 AM  

vudukungfu: This is a repeat from three weeks in the future.


I saw this on Reddit two years in the future ago.
 
2018-02-13 11:59:44 AM  

darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?


The difference is where(when) the time machine is located.
When a machine is located in the future, and sends you back {12 Monkeys}, you can only return to your original timeline, making paradoxes impossible. When the machine comes along with you {Back to the Future}, you're free to drift into whatever alternate timeline you create.
Hope I cleared that up.
 
2018-02-13 12:00:57 PM  
So does Ned Flanders dictate our future.

/stupid sexy Flanders.
 
2018-02-13 12:00:58 PM  

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 12:02:05 PM  
...And the Cleveland Browns will STILL be in a rebuilding year in 2030...
 
2018-02-13 12:02:06 PM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


1 and 2 are dead on. Also this promotion that it "omg detects lies" only makes things worse. A polygraph is nearly flat-earther levels of junk science.

The google glass part maybe not. It will take more than 20 years to make those dorky farking things cool again. If when the AI come for us they come for us through some stupid shiat like google glass then they dropped the I off the end of their abbreviation.
 
2018-02-13 12:02:13 PM  
I thought his name was going to be Biff.
 
2018-02-13 12:02:59 PM  
Many have been sceptical of what he says - so he agreed to take a lie detector test.

Many?  Not all, Daily Mail?
 
2018-02-13 12:03:00 PM  

TheSwizz: To all time travelers:

If you want to be taken seriously, bring back a list of powerball results. Hell, take the first one for yourself then release the rest. Your claims will be vetted very quickly.

If you don't do that, you're not from the future.


You know you'd just create a new timeline, right, with a new observer effect? The powerball numbers are just enough part of the probability foam that they won't roll the same... which means a different winner, different observed states of the universe which results in a new timeline.
Someone with a time machine that tries that will simply end up very, very, very, very, very frustrated.
 
2018-02-13 12:05:58 PM  

OldRod: Deep Contact: darthstormer: darkeyes: I assume he changed the timeline by coming back so everything he knows is irrelevant now.

Depends.  Are we talking Back to the Future rules?  Or Twelve Monkeys rules?

[78.media.tumblr.com image 500x318]

Probably "Primer" rules


Damnit, I'd better start recording my conversations...
 
2018-02-13 12:06:04 PM  

ceejayoz: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: 1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

So much this. Their primary purpose is to be misunderstood by subjects who think they work and wind up confessing since they think they'll be found out.


Wait, they don't actually work? I had to take one for my first job when I was 15 which was sacking groceries. Being in such a crucial job with access to TS-SCI information like the code to the trash compactor made it necessary, I suppose. I controlled my breathing and thoughts while I lied many times on it and passed. I thought I was just really slick, and might have a future in espionage. You're telling me that was all bullshiat?
 
2018-02-13 12:07:18 PM  
Senseless_drivel: Way not to go back and assassinate Hitler, douchebag.

I played the shiat out of that scenario.
C&C Red Alert - Dagger Falls on Map of Europe & Europe Turns Red
Youtube qP6BhAdhSKs
 
2018-02-13 12:07:45 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 12:08:30 PM  

Myrdinn: TheSwizz: To all time travelers:

If you want to be taken seriously, bring back a list of powerball results. Hell, take the first one for yourself then release the rest. Your claims will be vetted very quickly.

If you don't do that, you're not from the future.

You know you'd just create a new timeline, right, with a new observer effect? The powerball numbers are just enough part of the probability foam that they won't roll the same... which means a different winner, different observed states of the universe which results in a new timeline.
Someone with a time machine that tries that will simply end up very, very, very, very, very frustrated.


A list of stock market values ought to be solid enough. Maybe not hit as big as the lottery, but you could make bank even with index funds and shorting other stocks.
 
OOF
2018-02-13 12:08:41 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 12:10:00 PM  

akula: So he says he's from 2030 and he's in his 50s but just looks 25.

Where's his "now" self?


In suspension in a Klein bottle universe because paradox. Second Law of Thermoderpnamics.
 
2018-02-13 12:10:59 PM  

Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]


And that's why it'll happen. People will be so busy freaking out during that election that they will forget to vote again.
 
2018-02-13 12:11:36 PM  
2030, eh? Give me some artifacts. Simple pocket change from 2030. Forget the big stuff- who plays goal for the Red Wings in the 2030-31 season? A simple picture of them in net, please.
 
2018-02-13 12:11:47 PM  
Lie Detector, you say?  Is that one of those things that's *not* admissible in court, because it isn't all that accurate?
 
2018-02-13 12:12:03 PM  

dittybopper: snocone: Walker: Among his bold claims are that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020,

[img.fark.net image 400x222]

If Trump is still in power in 2020, there will be NO ELECTIONS.
Quote me.

Ummm, you do know that his term runs from January 20th, 2017 to January 10th, 2021, right?  Even if he isn't reelected, he'll still be in office throughout all of 2020.


Pedantics are the best antics.
 
2018-02-13 12:14:23 PM  

steklo: The international time traveler meeting has been postponed to yesterday


Exactly
 
2018-02-13 12:14:25 PM  

H31N0US: Given the source, I now doubt the concept of time.


See, now you're getting it. For some values of now.
 
2018-02-13 12:14:44 PM  
thethingswesay.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-13 12:15:47 PM  
Question him about memories of 1988-1992. He should have been "coming of age" then. This moron was born probably between 1992-1995.

-tell me about the Nintendo glove
-"stop, collaborate and ____"
-duck hunt dog did what when you missed?
-the "Berlin Wall theme" was sung by which group?
Etc, etc...
 
2018-02-13 12:15:48 PM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Three points:

1) There is no such thing as a "Lie Detector." Polygraph machines don't "detect lies."

2) It's not a lie if YOU believe it.

3) None of his "revelations" is much of a stretch.


Done in one, get the lights.
 
2018-02-13 12:16:33 PM  
Did the traveler mention that so called "lie detectors" are not really a thing.
More social engineering, like Facebook.
 
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