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(The Raw Story)   Author reviews the christian bible, concludes it is poorly written. Evangelical christians react about as you'd expect   ( rawstory.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Bible, boring tangled mess, Thomas Jefferson, literature lovers, great moral teacher, Poet Maya Angelou, outraged religious believers, greatest literary achievements  
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7079 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2018 at 3:30 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-13 03:14:52 AM  
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2018-02-13 03:34:38 AM  
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The New Testament was originally written in Greek, which at the time had no punctuation. It didn't even have SPACES. The fact that it may have been farked up when copied and THEN farked up even more in translation is not surprising.
 
2018-02-13 03:35:10 AM  
Why is Jesus holding the Geico gecko?  Did I miss something?  I hope he has medical insurance.
 
2018-02-13 03:37:51 AM  

Mitch Mitchell: Why is Jesus holding the Geico gecko?  Did I miss something?  I hope he has medical insurance.


How do you think he healed all those filthy moochers on his travels?
 
2018-02-13 03:38:39 AM  
you're dealing with a book that was piece mealed together from lots of letters and writings over time. a lot of time. then self-appointed powerful types included and discarded whatever they wanted. little hard to get flow and continuity under those circumstances. truly difficult read / comprehension in many spots.
 
2018-02-13 03:40:02 AM  
People defending the bible remind me of those glowing reviews on video games from people who only played the first half hour and whose livelihood depends on maintaining a good relationship with the publisher.
 
2018-02-13 03:40:15 AM  
 
2018-02-13 03:41:52 AM  
As someone who enjoys reading ancient works, the Bible is kinda primative. But that signals more that the authors weren't in command of Aristotalian ideas of story form. Considering most of the OT is actually a Sumerian political document, which is why if feels a bit like the writing behind Gilgamesh, it's actually pretty good. For the period.

There are various reworks of the bible that try to tell it as a proper Aristotelian era story. I haven't read those.
 
2018-02-13 03:42:12 AM  

Mitch Mitchell: Why is Jesus holding the Geico gecko?  Did I miss something?  I hope he has medical insurance.


Better yet to have life insurance. Agent heard whooping it up,"He rose, claim denied!"
 
2018-02-13 03:42:25 AM  
In before some illiterate fool regurgitates something they heard about Bronze Age goat herders.
 
2018-02-13 03:44:58 AM  
This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.
 
2018-02-13 03:46:19 AM  

Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.


I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.
 
2018-02-13 03:46:58 AM  
The aside about the author's favorite burger joint was interesting.
 
2018-02-13 03:50:53 AM  
A cobbled together, heavily edited, multiply translated, multiply transcribed book of bronze age fairy tales is badly written?
 
2018-02-13 03:51:04 AM  
Christians offended by something, story at 5pm.  And at 6pm.  And another at 7pm.  Also at 8pm.  And a new one at 9pm...
 
2018-02-13 03:52:34 AM  

Smoking GNU: Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.

I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.


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2018-02-13 03:52:48 AM  

Mitch Mitchell: Why is Jesus holding the Geico gecko?  Did I miss something?  I hope he has medical insurance.


People weren't his only followers.
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2018-02-13 03:54:59 AM  
Author is an attention whore looking to sell books.

In other news, the Dow rose today.
 
2018-02-13 03:55:30 AM  
Defenders of The Good Book have much in common with knee jerk LEO enthusiasts.
 
2018-02-13 03:57:42 AM  

Smoking GNU: Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.

I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.


Don't talk about pickles on Fark, I'm trying to eat.
 
2018-02-13 03:58:40 AM  

puffy999: Smoking GNU: Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.

I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.

Don't talk about pickles on Fark, I'm trying to eat.


It's an entirely different type of pickle incident.
 
2018-02-13 04:01:52 AM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 332x499]

The New Testament was originally written in Greek, which at the time had no punctuation. It didn't even have SPACES. The fact that it may have been farked up when copied and THEN farked up even more in translation is not surprising.


Well I suppose for broad-minded sophisticates who think all languages should be constructed exactly like modern European, that could be a problem.

As to translation, to my mind that is a feature, not a bug. The Bible itself contains passages that are translations of other parts. I'd say that points to the fact that unlike the holy books of other religions, translation, interpretation, and contextualisation is part of what it's all about.

There is no doubt that the Bible has been weaponised by some, but it has had an uncanny way of breaking free from such attempts and becoming an instrument to challenge authority and speak truth to power.

Not all Christians, indeed not all evangelicals, are flat-earther fundamentalists, y'know.
 
2018-02-13 04:03:34 AM  

Smoking GNU: puffy999: Smoking GNU: Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.

I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.

Don't talk about pickles on Fark, I'm trying to eat.

It's an entirely different type of pickle incident.


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2018-02-13 04:05:28 AM  
Millions of Evangelicals and other Christian fundamentalists believe that the Bible was dictated by God to men who acted essentially as human channelers. Each phrase is considered so perfect that it merits careful linguistic analysis to determine His precise meaning.

That's called a "straw man", and when your article's premise is a straw man....well.....you know. 

A good culling might do a lot to improve things.

The conclusion is a non-Christian (and non-Jew) telling Christians (and Jews) that the basis of their belief is wrong. There are a lot of adjectives that can describe this (best of these might be "stupid"), but I think "arrogant" is probably the worst offense here. 


Just be cool to each other, folks.
 
2018-02-13 04:07:02 AM  
Always nice to see people following the guidance of their holy book and speak to others with "anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language".

Now if only they would read the damn thing once in a while, they would know that list is what they're specifically told NOT to do:
Colossians 3:8: But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
/If people actually tried doing that whole "don't be a hypocrite" thing, religion would cease to exist practically overnight.
 
2018-02-13 04:07:43 AM  
We covered all the same ground in my undergraduate literature course 30 years ago. It is indeed dreadfully written. I can only conclude that people who find it inspiring never read beyond the one or two passably lucid paragraphs.
 
2018-02-13 04:08:03 AM  
The Bible: full of violence, sexual content, racism, sexism, socialism, occultism, hating on the 1%, communism, and other unAmerican values.

Oh, and really really NSFW. Be warned.
 
2018-02-13 04:18:19 AM  

ModernLuddite: Millions of Evangelicals and other Christian fundamentalists believe that the Bible was dictated by God to men who acted essentially as human channelers. Each phrase is considered so perfect that it merits careful linguistic analysis to determine His precise meaning.

That's called a "straw man", and when your article's premise is a straw man....well.....you know.


No.  That's actually what a lot of them believe.  I have relatives who do.
Just because it's completely farking idiotic doesn't mean people don't believe it.
 
2018-02-13 04:22:42 AM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 332x499]

The New Testament was originally written in Greek, which at the time had no punctuation. It didn't even have SPACES. The fact that it may have been farked up when copied and THEN farked up even more in translation is not surprising.


UNALTERABLE WORD OF GOD!!!!!

/s
 
2018-02-13 04:25:57 AM  

DoctorCal: Defenders of The Good Book have much in common with knee jerk LEO enthusiasts.


Authoritarianism wears many skins on the hoof, and can be served in many sauces, but it's always the same meat.
 
2018-02-13 04:30:47 AM  
One thing the Bible does really well is to commit, hard.  There is very little waffling in the Bible.  I don't mean it's consistent; I mean that a particular passage will take a position and stick to it without trying to make it too general.  (Apart from the Book of Ecclesiates, of course.)  There's an example in Strunk and White where George Orwell (of all people) took a biblical passage and wrote it out in a more modern, noncommital style, replacing details with generalities, tried to make it more encompassing, and it sucked.

If committing to the subject matter were the only important thing in writing, the Bible would be the best piece of literature ever.  But its not the only important thing.  The Bible is monotonously repetitive.  A lot of its lessons are based on nothing more than the authority of the source, which is subject to question, so the source's strategy is to reinforce the lessons with lots and lots of repetition.

The best parts of the Bible are the parts that take the time to set up; either by building drama in a story or parable, or to setting up a line of for more direct teaching, but with no less commitment to the material.  A lot of Jesus' parables are memorable because he takes the time to justify his lesson; he'll relate a theological concept to a more easily relatable experience, for example.  Unlike most of the Bible, Jesus doesn't say, "Because I said", very often.  That makes it better writing.

In a precious few places you'll get the commitment, good storytelling, strong imagery, and (rarest of all) clever turn of phrase and it can be quite good, but it's rare.
 
2018-02-13 04:38:37 AM  
I honestly have no idea how to take people who insist that every word in the christian bible is the literal word of their god.  I can't tell if they're serious about their belief, or if its all just some sort of performance art.
 
2018-02-13 04:47:12 AM  

Smoking GNU: Begoggle: This fandom is almost as bad as the Rick & Morty one.

I never saw anything close to Pickle Rick in the bible, though.


Y'all aint readin' it the way it was wrote.
All a y'all motherfarkers need Jesus 'cause y'all aint got no faith.
 
2018-02-13 04:59:37 AM  
Jezebel hack writes article rejected by Salon (lol, Salon of all rags) then writes own story for Raw Story about why it's all Christians' fault.
 
2018-02-13 05:01:51 AM  

ModernLuddite: The conclusion is a non-Christian (and non-Jew) telling Christians (and Jews) that the basis of their belief is wrong. There are a lot of adjectives that can describe this (best of these might be "stupid"), but I think "arrogant" is probably the worst offense here.


If you choose to profess belief in an invisible sky-faery who *really* hates the gays, 'speaks' to you and will break all the laws of nature in order to fulfills your wishes... sorry... prayers... well.. if folks are pointing and laughing... mission accomplished?

Theism is a virus. Laughter is the medicine. Rationality is the cure.
 
2018-02-13 05:08:18 AM  
I was trapped in a cabin in a raging blizzard, with no heat or food. All I could find was a copy of the Bible. And you know what? That Bible saved my life. It burned for hours!
 
2018-02-13 05:09:02 AM  
As a person who was forced to endure 12 years of Catholic school, I think you just have to take it with a grain (or a pound) of salt. It is full of contradictions. You should read it and take what is good about it and throw away the rest. I have grown to think of all organized religions as cults. They tell you what you must think and to give them most or all your money. That being said, there are many good ideas in the bible.  The idea of loving one another as you want to be loved is one we should all think about. I think the ten commandments are good rules to live by. Those who think it is written by God and follow it verbatim are fanatics.
 
2018-02-13 05:17:17 AM  
If you are a Christian and mix fabrics, alter you body in any way, eat shellfish or pork, etc, you are sinning.

Matthew 5:18
 
2018-02-13 05:23:23 AM  

johnphantom: If you are a Christian and mix fabrics, alter you body in any way, eat shellfish or pork, etc, you are sinning.

Matthew 5:18


This includes earrings, btw.
 
2018-02-13 05:31:17 AM  

Smoking GNU: johnphantom: If you are a Christian and mix fabrics, alter you body in any way, eat shellfish or pork, etc, you are sinning.

Matthew 5:18

This includes earrings, btw.


I'm curious about Christianity and pork eating, what happened on that one.
 
2018-02-13 05:34:34 AM  

johnphantom: If you are a Christian and mix fabrics, alter you body in any way, eat shellfish or pork, etc, you are sinning.

Matthew 5:18


Cafeteria Catholics man.
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2018-02-13 05:36:46 AM  
Not surprising reactions. I mean, look how these farking kooks behave because someone tells them "happy holidays" when they are buying socks and beef jerky.
 
2018-02-13 05:45:33 AM  

Resident Muslim: Smoking GNU: johnphantom: If you are a Christian and mix fabrics, alter you body in any way, eat shellfish or pork, etc, you are sinning.

Matthew 5:18

This includes earrings, btw.

I'm curious about Christianity and pork eating, what happened on that one.


Pork is delicious.
 
2018-02-13 05:45:40 AM  
Stained glass windows keep the cold outside,
While the hypocrites hide inside
Fat pig priest takes the money,
While you take the lies
 
2018-02-13 05:46:21 AM  
Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon are pretty well written, but they're prior art, Christians.
 
2018-02-13 05:54:56 AM  
The helicopter chase was good, but why did they have to kill Old Dan?
 
2018-02-13 05:57:00 AM  

Crewmannumber6: The helicopter chase was good, but why did they have to kill Old Dan?


you'll find out next season, when its revealed that Old Dan was really Odin and by killing him on that tree they actually completed the ritual to let the pagan gods come home.

Personally, I think the writing on this series sucks but the source material had such POTENTIAL, ya know?  should have let gaiman write the season ender tho.
 
2018-02-13 05:59:56 AM  

Weaver95: I honestly have no idea how to take people who insist that every word in the christian bible is the literal word of their god.  I can't tell if they're serious about their belief, or if its all just some sort of performance art.


The most immature are the ones least able to handle the challenges.  I know believers in their retirement years that are in essence, cramming for finals and looking for loopholes, that are just now starting to really study their Bible and beliefs.  I also know little kids that have a better grasp and they aren't able to read yet.  Far too many believers, accept the offer of grace and then never move anywhere else into a relationship with God.  It's like they met someone, fell in love, took the step to get married, and then only one of them got into the honeymoon car to head off into life.
And preachers aren't much help, when they most often rely on at most 40 passages to preach on.  Their congregations don't want to hear about secret, subtle sins that people struggle with, the congregations want to hear about how we are all going to heaven because we are awesome and God is lucky to have us on his team.
 
2018-02-13 06:05:55 AM  

cherryl taggart: Their congregations don't want to hear about secret, subtle sins that people struggle with, the congregations want to hear about how we are all going to heaven because we are awesome and God is lucky to have us on his team.


seems like an excellent way for christians to end up in christian hell.  did they set all of this up because they secretly like their trickster god more than the one who died on their cross?

there are days when christian theology just don't make any gotdamn sense, ya know?  sure - heal the sick, help the poor.  that makes sense.  But the rich ones just don't wanna do that sort of thing, so they've had to come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid helping others and still get 'saved', and seems to me like the excuses ended up becoming the religion instead of the 'help others/don't be a dick' part of the christ gods commandments to his followers.
 
2018-02-13 06:35:52 AM  
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