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(The Daily Beast)   "Sorry I made kale cool"   ( thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Brassica oleracea, kale, Cabbage, Brassica, supple romaine lettuce, gently piquant salad, New York Times, one-woman anti-kale campaign  
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4394 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2018 at 4:20 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-02-09 02:29:17 PM  
Kale yeah!
 
2018-02-09 02:34:26 PM  
Kale is not and never will be cool.

/Except, obviously, in the late fall and early winter when it can still grow.
 
2018-02-09 02:38:24 PM  
Get back to me when MickeyDs has kale fries....
 
2018-02-09 03:04:31 PM  
Narrator: No, you didn't.
 
2018-02-09 04:18:25 PM  
I have a SIL that rides every gluten free kale trend that comes out. She's still unhealthy, overweight and old. Also made my brother pussy whipped so that he is going to naturopaths for useless products and procedures too.
Jeesus..
 
2018-02-09 04:21:35 PM  
I remember when it was the stuff the elementary school cafeteria served because it was cheaper than spinach. Just dollop out ice cream scoops of boiled kale in the stinky cafe.
 
2018-02-09 04:23:01 PM  
If you fry kale in bacon grease, then dip it in ranch dressing, it tastes fine.
 
2018-02-09 04:23:53 PM  
05.29.16 12:15 AM ET

2016 was the year America died.
 
2018-02-09 04:26:19 PM  
I like that TFA goes from "Raah hipsters are terrible with kale!" to "the real way to do kale is these very hipster sounding ways of preparing it".
 
2018-02-09 04:28:54 PM  
/oblig
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-09 04:29:28 PM  

Dumski: I have a SIL that rides every gluten free kale trend that comes out. She's still unhealthy, overweight and old. Also made my brother pussy whipped so that he is going to naturopaths for useless products and procedures too.
Jeesus..


As a designated sibling its your job to beat the stupid out of him
 
2018-02-09 04:32:39 PM  
Kale makes you bald.
 
2018-02-09 04:32:55 PM  

edmo: Get back to me when MickeyDs has kale fries....


I don't care, I'm going to say it.
Roast up a bunch of kale and sprinkle with olive oil , salt and Mrs. Dash whatever spice, you won't miss fries.
That said, it takes a crap ton of kale to make a batch.

/ makes you crap tons too
 
2018-02-09 04:35:18 PM  
It still tastes like eating compost, so we're even.
 
2018-02-09 04:37:54 PM  
Strange, I suddenly feel so symbolic...

Counting Crows - Mr. Jones Official Music Video
Youtube FETQhX5VXEs
 
2018-02-09 04:38:10 PM  
Kale kinda sucks -- I don't mind it as a slight compliment in salads or soups, but when it's the major player it's just... not good. Health benefits and all, the author is right that there are other delicious leafy type greens with more flavor and better texture.
 
2018-02-09 04:39:44 PM  

guestguy: If you fry kale in bacon grease, then dip it in ranch dressing, it tastes fine.


sounds like a healthy snack.
 
2018-02-09 04:39:54 PM  
This is the only acceptable use for kale in a restaurant
search.chow.comView Full Size
 
2018-02-09 04:41:21 PM  
l7.alamy.comView Full Size
Kael?
 
2018-02-09 04:43:04 PM  
Cook it like you cook turnip, collard, and mustard greens and you'll be okay. That means adding some sort of smoked meat and fat.
/People from the south figured this out 400 years ago.
 
2018-02-09 04:43:44 PM  

guestguy: If you fry kale in bacon grease, then dip it in ranch dressing, it tastes fine.


It's good wilted.  Fry 3 or 4 strips of bacon to crisp, pull the bacon, add kale, toss, add balsamic vinegar, cover, then cook until soft.  Cut up bacon, add back and serve.

It doesn't cover the flavor up; the sweet-sour of the balsamic pairs nicely with the bitterness of the kale.
 
2018-02-09 04:43:49 PM  

feralbaby: edmo: Get back to me when MickeyDs has kale fries....

I don't care, I'm going to say it.
Roast up a bunch of kale and sprinkle with olive oil , salt and Mrs. Dash whatever spice, you won't miss fries.
That said, it takes a crap ton of kale to make a batch.

/ makes you crap tons too


I've done this at home and while I won't go as far as to say I don't miss fries, I can talk myself into thinking it's an okay snack.

Raw kale is nasty in any quantity.
 
2018-02-09 04:44:08 PM  
Kale is LITERALLY my mortal enemy, because I  have Factor II Mutation.
 
2018-02-09 04:44:24 PM  
I don't mind kale but it's best if treated like you would cook raw spinach. Cook some bacon (diced), then slowly wilt it in the bacon fat minus the stems with some garlic and onion. And as mentioned above, tossing it into the freezer for a few hours will help to tenderize it and cut the bitterness.
 
2018-02-09 04:45:27 PM  

Thingster: Fry 3 or 4 strips of bacon to crisp, pull the bacon, add kale, toss, add balsamic vinegar, cover, then cook until soft, then remove the kale.  Cut up bacon, add back and serve.


FTFY. With those little tweaks it's a tasty recipe.
 
2018-02-09 05:01:23 PM  
Shred it and add a bit to some lasagna, or sauté that sh*t with garlic, and it's just fine as a side dish.
 
2018-02-09 05:04:10 PM  
She references an article she wrote about it in 1975. I wouldn't say she's singlehandedly responsible for its supposed coolness, though she seems to think she is.

I don't hate kale but I don't love it. I generally avoid almost all greens because they taste yucky. If you have to add bacon to something to make people wanna eat it, let's face it, it sucks.
 
2018-02-09 05:04:13 PM  

Super Chronic: Raw kale is nasty in any quantity.


I can attest.
Kale smoothies.  Just don't.
My bowels - didn't budge for days.
 
2018-02-09 05:05:45 PM  
CSB: I've never liked leafy greens of any type, but was ordered to start eating them by my doctor. I went through all the lettuces and hated just about all of them, but then tried kale and it was much better-tasting than lettuce in a salad. I wanted to dislike it because of its trendiness but it's much better to me than lettuce. So now I eat kale almost every day.

/CSB
 
2018-02-09 05:10:04 PM  
Kale and spinach smoothie with almond milk, frozen banana, berries, and a few dates.

Yeah, it actually tastes good. Fight me.
 
2018-02-09 05:13:46 PM  
/oblig
pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2018-02-09 05:14:28 PM  
All these suggestions for cooked greens turning them into wilted farking mush

Who the hell likes eating warm snot? Not farking me that's who. Kale doesn't taste like anything at all. It's just slightly tougher, crunchier spinach. tear or chop it up and eat it in a nice salad that isn't drowned in dressing,
 
2018-02-09 05:14:54 PM  

70Ford: /oblig
[i.imgflip.com image 721x262]


To be fair, baked kale really is quite good. In fact, it's so good even my 5 year old will wolf it down, and he's notoriously picky about eating veggies.

Lightly coat your kale with sesame oil and sea salt, and bake at 400F until they become crispy (but not burnt brown). They take on a crisp and crackly texture the kid enjoys.
 
2018-02-09 05:17:19 PM  
Say what you want about kale, I assumed it was just health-nut-blogger BS garbage.

Then I popped some in a dehydrator with a sprinkle of salt and nutritional yeast and found a healthy replacement that 100% satisfies my potato chip craving... inexpensively at that.

So I can't knock kale too much given it's helped me shave off some excess calories and help me stick to my daily calorie allotment.
 
2018-02-09 05:19:13 PM  
In that last sentence above I said the exact same thing two different ways.

It must be all the pesticides on the kale pickling my brain.
 
2018-02-09 05:50:13 PM  
So someone is trying to take credit for a trend from 3 years ago because they wrote an article 40 years ago? Sure, okay.

Also, Kale was NEVER cool. Unless you consider pretentious and douchey cool.
 
2018-02-09 05:52:12 PM  
Her mention of the German way of having kale reminds me of my childhood, it actually can taste good with enough fat added to it
 
2018-02-09 05:58:56 PM  
Before kale, the greens trend was to rebrand rocket as the more-exotic-sounding "arugula" and put that shiat in everything... remember?

Smart money bets radicchio for the next bitter leafy stuff trend.
 
2018-02-09 05:59:28 PM  
Was expecting Misha Collins. Leaving disappointed.
 
2018-02-09 06:21:16 PM  

feralbaby: edmo: Get back to me when MickeyDs has kale fries....

I don't care, I'm going to say it.
Roast up a bunch of kale and sprinkle with olive oil , salt and Mrs. Dash whatever spice, you won't miss fries.
That said, it takes a crap ton of kale to make a batch.

/ makes you crap tons too


You must have had some shiat fries.
 
2018-02-09 06:23:31 PM  
We have this stuff called spinach around here. It's pretty decent tasting and cheap. I like to make a salad with it each day mixed with shaved Parmesan, sunflower seeds and olive oil. The only side effect I have noticed is my forearms are huge.
 
2018-02-09 06:27:22 PM  

Hickory-smoked: Kale and spinach smoothie with almond milk, frozen banana, berries, and a few dates.

Yeah, it actually tastes good. Fight me.


I bet you have nice manmaries.
 
2018-02-09 06:37:59 PM  
Nobody make Swiss chard or mustard greens cool, okay? Because they taste better and I like them and they're easy to grow, and every time something I like becomes cool, people go around ruining it. Leave me my old people greens.
 
2018-02-09 06:42:35 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: She references an article she wrote about it in 1975. I wouldn't say she's singlehandedly responsible for its supposed coolness, though she seems to think she is.

I don't hate kale but I don't love it. I generally avoid almost all greens because they taste yucky. If you have to add bacon to something to make people wanna eat it, let's face it, it sucks.


Bacon is just a flavoring.You can also use Canola oil or peanut oil or olive oil or whatever. You have to eat some fruits and vegetables because we are all omnivores and it's unhealthy not to. You don't want to get the rickets do you? Are you also against butter? Do you cook a steak without any salt, pepper or a touch of Wiltshire or Soy sauce? Lets face it. All food is bland on its own. Think of it this way. Most food is the way to get the good flavors into your mouth. Do you eat a baked potato without butter or sour cream?
 
2018-02-09 06:48:35 PM  

anuran: This is the only acceptable use for kale in a restaurant
[search.chow.com image 840x517]


And we're done here.

Kale is a decoration, not a food.
 
2018-02-09 06:48:53 PM  

Radioactive Ass: Smelly Pirate Hooker: She references an article she wrote about it in 1975. I wouldn't say she's singlehandedly responsible for its supposed coolness, though she seems to think she is.

I don't hate kale but I don't love it. I generally avoid almost all greens because they taste yucky. If you have to add bacon to something to make people wanna eat it, let's face it, it sucks.

Bacon is just a flavoring.You can also use Canola oil or peanut oil or olive oil or whatever. You have to eat some fruits and vegetables because we are all omnivores and it's unhealthy not to. You don't want to get the rickets do you? Are you also against butter? Do you cook a steak without any salt, pepper or a touch of Wiltshire or Soy sauce? Lets face it. All food is bland on its own. Think of it this way. Most food is the way to get the good flavors into your mouth. Do you eat a baked potato without butter or sour cream?


All good arguments, here's my counter. Every preparation listed for kale so far to make it taste even the least bit savory is true of anything else including dried crap. If I have to freeze it, boil the shiat out of it, then cover it up in garlic and bacon in order for it to taste ok then it means it tastes like shiat. There are far more appetizing choices you can make instead of trying to invent a farking process to make this crap edible. Spinach is one of my favorite lettuce replacements, steamed broccoli with a bit of cheese is delicious. I can have a spinach salad with dates, strips of grilled chicken and strawberries.

/ I think people eat kale just to prove it's possible
// so is surviving by drinking your own urine
/// our planet gives us so many better choices
 
2018-02-09 06:49:22 PM  
Don't take away my Vegi-Boy, I love my Vegi-Boy... you can really taste the kale!
 
2018-02-09 06:49:34 PM  

menschenfresser: CSB: I've never liked leafy greens of any type, but was ordered to start eating them by my doctor. I went through all the lettuces and hated just about all of them, but then tried kale and it was much better-tasting than lettuce in a salad. I wanted to dislike it because of its trendiness but it's much better to me than lettuce. So now I eat kale almost every day.

/CSB


I think preferring kale to lettuce makes you an actual monster
 
2018-02-09 07:03:12 PM  
Baby kale is ok in a salad.
 
2018-02-09 07:07:09 PM  
I see the junior edgelords are out in force tonight.

Protip:  you aren't cool and you never will be.

static01.nyt.comView Full Size
 
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