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(KSTU FOX 13)   Utah mom upset after school tells 6th graders they can't refuse when asked to dance. "My daughter keeps coming to me and saying, 'I can't say no to a boy'. That's the message kids are getting"   ( fox13now.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Teacher, Richard, Kanesville Elementary, Education, Weber School District, bad message, sixth-grade daughter, Lesson plan  
•       •       •

5188 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2018 at 9:05 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-02-09 09:09:49 AM  
52 votes:
Utah. 6th grade.

Shouldn't be living on a compound as someones 5th wife by now?
2018-02-09 08:29:42 AM  
48 votes:

Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?


It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...
2018-02-09 09:18:22 AM  
44 votes:
What was wrong with the way it used to be?

Boys stood on one side of the gym, girls on the other and the gym was filled with sweat, fear & regret.

You know, kind of like marriage.
2018-02-09 08:50:42 AM  
35 votes:
hubiestubert: isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...

Wait. I thought it led to the demasculation and ensuing feminization of men as a gender, which are the first steps toward a future in which men are second-class citizens essentially treated as slaves. Or are you saying that witchcraft and lesbianism is a natural part of that new order?
2018-02-09 09:00:50 AM  
32 votes:

Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?


In general, or in Utah?
2018-02-09 09:09:06 AM  
19 votes:
Mrs Pyle!  Harry keeps poking me with something in his pants!

Had to dance with Mrs. Pyle.

/another unrepressed memory.
2018-02-09 10:22:29 AM  
18 votes:

Bathroom Samurai: Why is consent so hard for people to understand?

These are the only rules a dance needs:
1) Any person can ask another person to dance.
B) It is OK to respectfully decline a request to dance.
III) A declined offer must be accepted with quiet dignity and grace.


What about an accepted offer?

A poor man was in a terrible accident and lost his eye. He could only afford a wooden eye that he was very self-conscious of.

At a dance, he couldn't find a woman to dance with. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he approaches her, asking "Would you dance with me?"

Filled with excitement, she blurts out "Would I? Would I?!"

Angrily, the man retorts: "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!"
2018-02-09 09:35:11 AM  
15 votes:
100% inclusiveness culture meets #MeToo, and this is what happens.

Solution: Girls can say no to the guys but have to give them a "You Tried!" participation ribbon.
2018-02-09 09:32:22 AM  
14 votes:

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?

It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...


My sister knew this girl who thought she would be cool and ask boys to dance. Last I heard she was living in northern California, eating vegetables and wearing sandals WITH socks.
2018-02-09 09:22:34 AM  
14 votes:
"I don't take no for an answer."

"How rapey of you."

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 09:16:34 AM  
12 votes:
What if a boy asks another boy to dance?
2018-02-09 09:15:41 AM  
11 votes:

Pocket Ninja: hubiestubert: isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...

Wait. I thought it led to the demasculation and ensuing feminization of men as a gender, which are the first steps toward a future in which men are second-class citizens essentially treated as slaves. Or are you saying that witchcraft and lesbianism is a natural part of that new order?


This sounds like a job for InfoWars!

Quick, to the derpmobile!
2018-02-09 09:46:39 AM  
10 votes:
media1.popsugar-assets.comView Full Size

Knows the pain
2018-02-09 09:15:11 AM  
10 votes:
Being unable to say no is a terrible situation for a young girl at a middle school dance, but reverse the genders and add ten years and you get

i.ytimg.comView Full Size


All roads lead to Matt Greoning
2018-02-09 10:13:12 AM  
9 votes:
It's Utah so the boys can ask several girls to dance at the same time.
2018-02-09 09:58:42 AM  
7 votes:

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?

It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...


Lesbianism caused the Germans to invade Poland.

/They pronounce it Lebensraum.
2018-02-09 09:52:59 AM  
7 votes:

big pig peaches: What if a boy asks another boy to dance?


Tidal wave.
2018-02-09 09:18:09 AM  
7 votes:
So, the boys can't just hang behind the gym and smoke while the girls dance in a circle around their shoes?
2018-02-09 09:15:29 AM  
7 votes:
Just keep stepping on their feet a lot and they might stop asking. Or take the lead and spin them, dip them and drop them.
2018-02-09 09:35:13 AM  
6 votes:

doglover: dbialac:

You will make a delicious mutton curry.


a WHAT???
2018-02-09 09:32:40 AM  
6 votes:
I don't see the problem. They're just preparing the girls for the lifetime of subservience for which they were meant. It's best they learn the lesson early before they start getting crazy ideas in their heads. Next week in Civics class, they'll teach what an important responsibility is is to vote, and to always get their husband's approval on their choice before making such an important decision.
2018-02-09 09:45:58 AM  
5 votes:

Delay: This is from years ago. My 6th grade made learning dances part of PE. This was roughly the time when it was widely understood that cooties were a game and not real.
No one asked anybody to dance. Boys formed one line, girls formed another. The teachers paired everybody up starting from the front of each line. It was rather easy for both girls and boys to adjust their positions in line and be assigned a tolerable dance buddy. Delayed thanks Denise.


And that's where CIS gendered programming begins, right there. And everyone thinks there's no cultural brainwashing.
 It starts with elementary phys ed DO-SEE-DO-ING, PEOPLE.
2018-02-09 09:31:10 AM  
5 votes:

Znuh: This is what you guys voted for. Good people on both sides. Rational thought ejected out the window.


I don't recall seeing this on the ballot.
2018-02-09 09:28:21 AM  
5 votes:

doglover: Being unable to say no is a terrible situation for a young girl at a middle school dance, but reverse the genders and add ten years and you get

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

All roads lead to Matt Greoning


And that's where the road ends.

img.fark.netView Full Size


Perhaps it would be safer to take the road less traveled.
2018-02-09 09:50:29 AM  
4 votes:

Delay: This is from years ago. My 6th grade made learning dances part of PE. This was roughly the time when it was widely understood that cooties were a game and not real.
No one asked anybody to dance. Boys formed one line, girls formed another. The teachers paired everybody up starting from the front of each line. It was rather easy for both girls and boys to adjust their positions in line and be assigned a tolerable dance buddy. Delayed thanks Denise.


Forgot the image:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 09:23:41 AM  
4 votes:

hubiestubert: Nadie_AZ: Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?

It isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...


... go on
2018-02-09 11:28:25 AM  
3 votes:

gyorg: The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".


A bunch of budding computer hackers could launch a denial-of-service attack on a popular girl.
2018-02-09 11:02:58 AM  
3 votes:
Doesn't matter. They're all going to hell for dancing anyway.
2018-02-09 10:09:42 AM  
3 votes:

Harlee: ArcadianRefugee: ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the flip side, a little rejection once in a while might prevent people from growing up and thinking they are the smartest, best-looking, most talented, most successful person with the hugest audiences and highest ratings ever and most votes ever*.

Sometimes, it's good to hear "no".

Sorry, that is not a "flip side."

What I mean is that ajgeek is referring to the "out" kids who, as a rule, are always rejected for everything. (Every school has at least one.) There is no "a little rejection once in a while" or "sometimes" involved.

Your post fails.


So does your reading comprehension. :P


/especially since ajgeek also noted "on the one hand"; that sort of implies there's another hand*

* apologies to amputees
2018-02-09 09:54:50 AM  
3 votes:

Nurglitch: Whatever happened to dance cards? Also, it's definitely an idea to teach the kids various ways to dance first. One of my very happy memories in college was taking a dancing class with a friend, and learning to actually dance rather than just thrash around like a spastic spider monkey.


Have you been watching me dance?  Creepy...
2018-02-09 09:39:43 AM  
3 votes:

Pocket Ninja: hubiestubert: isn't witchcraft, but it IS the road that leads to witchcraft and lesbianism...

Wait. I thought it led to the demasculation and ensuing feminization of men as a gender, which are the first steps toward a future in which men are second-class citizens essentially treated as slaves. Or are you saying that witchcraft and lesbianism is a natural part of that new order?


Why do you have to make this so complicated? Just relax and enjoy our  new era of gimp masks and weener leashes.
2018-02-09 04:44:06 PM  
2 votes:

Bathroom Samurai: Why is consent so hard for people to understand?

These are the only rules a dance needs:
1) Any person can ask another person to dance.
B) It is OK to respectfully decline a request to dance.
III) A declined offer must be accepted with quiet dignity and grace.


What quiet dignity and grace might look like:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 10:54:09 AM  
2 votes:

Snarfangel: Bathroom Samurai: Why is consent so hard for people to understand?

These are the only rules a dance needs:
1) Any person can ask another person to dance.
B) It is OK to respectfully decline a request to dance.
III) A declined offer must be accepted with quiet dignity and grace.

What about an accepted offer?

A poor man was in a terrible accident and lost his eye. He could only afford a wooden eye that he was very self-conscious of.

At a dance, he couldn't find a woman to dance with. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he approaches her, asking "Would you dance with me?"

Filled with excitement, she blurts out "Would I? Would I?!"

Angrily, the man retorts: "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!"


"I just wanted a dance."
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 10:48:53 AM  
2 votes:

gyorg: Snarfangel: "Boys can't ask anyone to dance. If a girl wants to dance, she has to ask, and face possible rejection."

There, was that so hard?

These are called Sadie Hawkins dances.


In my school we had Sadie Botkins dances.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 10:30:27 AM  
2 votes:
She can't say no, because of the implication

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The 'Implication'
Youtube -yUafzOXHPE
2018-02-09 09:48:55 AM  
2 votes:
*reads article*
Wow.  Utah knows how to over-think the hell out of something.
Person at school:"Hey! We should have a dance"
*Thup Thup Thup Thup sound of chopper blades swelling*
*Blast of helicopter wind blows papers around*
*15 psychologists tumble out the chopper door, sliding down ropes*
Psychologist shock trooper: *yelling over the noise* "Hang on just a minute.  We have some rules for you....."
2018-02-09 09:31:42 AM  
2 votes:

ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.


I took a lot of rejection as a kid, but then realized that, yes, in fact, I was a freak, and moreover that my parents were freaks. Once I realized this, I looked for better and more socially competent role models and by taking their lead, I was able to stop being a freak. Those same people who used to think I was a freak now call me normal. Put better, instead of lashing out at society, look for role models who are normal and emulate them instead of your parents.
2018-02-09 09:31:28 AM  
2 votes:

ajgeek: /I took a lot of rejection as a kid.


My kid has no obligation to make your kid feel a certain way. Not his job.
2018-02-09 09:23:12 AM  
2 votes:
I've never been to a school dance so I was unaware that there were protocols in place. I'm in my 50s so it may be too late for me.
2018-02-09 09:21:51 AM  
2 votes:
Story is dildos
2018-02-09 09:21:32 AM  
2 votes:

big pig peaches: What if a boy asks another boy to dance?


Kindness and inclusiveness does not work like that in Utah.
2018-02-09 09:21:22 AM  
2 votes:

Gubbo: Utah. 6th grade.

Shouldn't be living on a compound as someones 5th wife by now?


Kid Sister Wives!
2018-02-09 08:50:38 AM  
2 votes:
"No" means "yes".
2018-02-09 08:20:04 AM  
2 votes:
Can she ask the boys she wants to dance with and bypass the ones she doesn't? Or is girls asking boys to dance still considered witchcraft?
2018-02-09 03:31:38 PM  
1 vote:
REALLY wants to attend

assets.change.orgView Full Size
2018-02-09 01:52:35 PM  
1 vote:

Leandros A: Getting rejected is a good thing. It rescues you from inflicting yourself on a person who doesn't want you. I feel like we all know this instinctively, yet ego gets the better of us maybe? Imagine you're 14. The 14 yr old girl you like doesn't reject you... not because she likes you, but because she is afraid to or has been told she doesn't have the right. Still want that date dance?


I grew up in the US. I'm not sure what "instinctive" is generally for United States teens now. Studies show an enormous change in gender orientation within comparable age groups during the past 40 years here. I blame BPA in packaging.

I'm old and would not want that dance. However, I recall it was possible for me to "know" within seconds (before asking) whether a girl would accept, "Do you wanna dance?" without her rejection. Her response itself was either confirmation or to let me know that I was not getting it and to be more aware.
2018-02-09 01:43:10 PM  
1 vote:

SMB2811: dbialac: SMB2811: dbialac: ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.

I took a lot of rejection as a kid, but then realized that, yes, in fact, I was a freak, and moreover that my parents were freaks. Once I realized this, I looked for better and more socially competent role models and by taking their lead, I was able to stop being a freak. Those same people who used to think I was a freak now call me normal. Put better, instead of lashing out at society, look for role models who are normal and emulate them instead of your parents.

[img.fark.net image 450x450]

See, that first word there -- "Obey" is the start of your problem. Healthy authority isn't about control; it's not about "do what I tell you." That's where weirdness starts. Instead, it's about choice and boundaries, specifically authority respecting the fact that you have ultimate authority over yourself and you understanding that your choices have consequences when you violate boundaries.

Oh ya, your entire point is stop being different and be just like everyone else but you totally are just the 'ultimate authority over yourself.'


First, if you don't approach authority, choice, decisions, behavior, etc. in a normal manner, don't be surprised when people call you a freak. That's what a freak is. See also: choices have consequences, including rejecting normalcy. Second, there's a direct correlation between being normal and being mentally healthy, because they are one in the same. Finally, see my comment about not lashing out at society because of your problems. It's your problem, not mine, you fix it.
2018-02-09 11:48:23 AM  
1 vote:

Dodger: What happened to our tried & true method?

[img.fark.net image 425x318]


She died from marijuana.
2018-02-09 11:18:11 AM  
1 vote:

gyorg: The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".

For argentine tango there's a whole standard to it.  Leads will look at follows sitting around the floor.  If they make eye contact, it means they'll dance and the lead walks up and asks them.  If they avert their eyes, the lead knows it'll be rejection and never asks.  Once you agree to dance, you dance 3 songs.


Dancing sounds fun.
2018-02-09 11:08:16 AM  
1 vote:

dbialac: ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the other hand: A no-refusal rule now == rape? Because that's the road this article wants us to head down.

/I took a lot of rejection as a kid.

I took a lot of rejection as a kid, but then realized that, yes, in fact, I was a freak, and moreover that my parents were freaks. Once I realized this, I looked for better and more socially competent role models and by taking their lead, I was able to stop being a freak. Those same people who used to think I was a freak now call me normal. Put better, instead of lashing out at society, look for role models who are normal and emulate them instead of your parents.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 10:54:08 AM  
1 vote:

big pig peaches: What if a boy asks another boy to dance?


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-02-09 10:50:07 AM  
1 vote:

feralbaby: Delay: This is from years ago. My 6th grade made learning dances part of PE. This was roughly the time when it was widely understood that cooties were a game and not real.
No one asked anybody to dance. Boys formed one line, girls formed another. The teachers paired everybody up starting from the front of each line. It was rather easy for both girls and boys to adjust their positions in line and be assigned a tolerable dance buddy. Delayed thanks Denise.

And that's where CIS gendered programming begins, right there. And everyone thinks there's no cultural brainwashing.
 It starts with elementary phys ed DO-SEE-DO-ING, PEOPLE.


Yeah, it's the school dances that lead to gender roles in neolithic tribes and aboriginal groups.
2018-02-09 10:40:21 AM  
1 vote:

amb: I remember in dance classes back in jr high. You picked a partner for the entire duration, but the teachers made you switch partners a lot. You ended up dancing with everyone. in hindsight not as traumatic as it seemed to a young lad.

Square dancing was for the 7th graders. Ballroom for tge 8th grade.


Ahh, the anti-jazz no-negro music curriculum.
2018-02-09 10:36:38 AM  
1 vote:

JNowe: "Please be respectful, be polite," Findlay said. "We want to promote kindness, and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance."

Another option would be to teach them how to respectfully decline.  That would be a way to promote kindness, and a good skill to have also.


Oh, and teach them to take a rejection respectfully as well.
2018-02-09 10:29:40 AM  
1 vote:
The only time that girls shouldn't be allowed to refuse a partner is at a purity ball.
2018-02-09 10:25:12 AM  
1 vote:

Harlee: gyorg: gyorg: The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".

For argentine tango there's a whole standard to it.  Leads will look at follows sitting around the floor.  If they make eye contact, it means they'll dance and the lead walks up and asks them.  If they avert their eyes, the lead knows it'll be rejection and never asks.  Once you agree to dance, you dance 3 songs.

Also, there are exceptions to the standard.  You're not supposed to monopolize a single person's time by asking them over and over.  If you break that part of the social contract, they have every right to break their part and say 'no' then dance with someone else.  It's all a social balance.  Exactly what people _need_ to learn.

Thank you for a highly intelligent post.


What the hell are you doing on Fark?


Working up the caffeine level in my bloodstream to write about my information security research.
2018-02-09 10:09:18 AM  
1 vote:

Delay: This is from years ago. My 6th grade made learning dances part of PE. This was roughly the time when it was widely understood that cooties were a game and not real.
No one asked anybody to dance. Boys formed one line, girls formed another. The teachers paired everybody up starting from the front of each line. It was rather easy for both girls and boys to adjust their positions in line and be assigned a tolerable dance buddy. Delayed thanks Denise.


There probably is some phys ed merit to teaching dancing.  There is an old Irish proverb, "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."
2018-02-09 09:51:27 AM  
1 vote:

Znuh: This is what you guys voted for. Good people on both sides. Rational thought ejected out the window.


TFA says: "He basically just said they've had this dance set up this way for a long time and they've never had any concern before," she said of his response.

So it sounds like this idiocy happened even when Obama was President.
2018-02-09 09:46:04 AM  
1 vote:
                                     Prior to the dance, Which is voluntary.....
img.fark.netView Full Size

                                                          Never mind
2018-02-09 09:31:41 AM  
1 vote:

FuLinHyu: filled with sweat, fear & regret.


Gah! You were there too!!!

You forgot to mention there was that one friend who would throw caution into the wind and dance with a girl, we would bust his chops, and secretly try to imagine how awesome it would be if we had the balls to just ASK her.

Also, you now have the song Lonesome Town stuck in my head.
2018-02-09 09:27:52 AM  
1 vote:
I refused to square dance in the fourth grade because I didn't like the girl they paired me up with. I got to sit for four weeks and watch, and I got an F in PE that quarter.
2018-02-09 09:24:19 AM  
1 vote:

ArcadianRefugee: ajgeek: On the one hand: this rule is intended to give kids who normally have no chance whatsoever to actually have a chance and maybe, MAYBE others will realize that the kid isn't such a freak after all.

On the flip side, a little rejection once in a while might prevent people from growing up and thinking they are the smartest, best-looking, most talented, most successful person with the hugest audiences and highest ratings ever and most votes ever*.

Sometimes, it's good to hear "no".


And conversely, always being rejected by your peers can destroy a person. Sometimes one yes can make a huge difference in the world.

The yes policy is for the benifit of people who are shy, low confidence and people who are snobby, pompous.

The popular people might learn the unpopular aren't so bad. And popularity is nothing.
2018-02-09 09:21:39 AM  
1 vote:
Won't someone think of the uggos ?
2018-02-09 09:20:30 AM  
1 vote:
Finally, back to traditional values.
2018-02-09 09:19:19 AM  
1 vote:
Utah, huh?
#shockedface
2018-02-09 09:14:06 AM  
1 vote:
The standard for social dance is you may deny any dance, but you must then sit out that song.  Goes for leads or follows who are asked.  Honestly, I think it's fair.  You don't have to dance with everyone, but if you want to dance with a specific someone, you should ask them, not reject people until you get what you want.  It's not about "you don't have control" but more "you have to be gracious to everyone".

For argentine tango there's a whole standard to it.  Leads will look at follows sitting around the floor.  If they make eye contact, it means they'll dance and the lead walks up and asks them.  If they avert their eyes, the lead knows it'll be rejection and never asks.  Once you agree to dance, you dance 3 songs.
2018-02-09 09:09:07 AM  
1 vote:
A perfect illustration of the society-undermining  difference between equality of opportunity (all can ask all) and equality of outcome (all must say yes to all)
 
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